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Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework

Comments by Men

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Next class session. WORTH 10 POINTS

This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 5 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions. You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it.

Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: ).

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page, then click the "Floating Toolbar" button. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question.

Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Men" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Male Comments file.

Due to the small number of men in this class, insert your responses with the comments from men in previous semesters of this class:

#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling

1. I remember talking to a girl about a guy should had been dating and she wanted to know my opinion about their whole situation. She went on to tell me about how he sent her a text message saying "ill come over in a little bit." She wanted to know what that meant from a guys prospective. I very confused because I knew that the guy meant he was going to be at her place in very short amount of time. She started coming up with these very elaborate explanations of the text message. I think a lot of times girls over analyze situations. (9792)

1. One thing I have found to be most incompressible and puzzling about women is their lack of directness. There have been countless times where the girl that I’ve been dating is obviously in some form of an emotional crisis, but when you ask what’s wrong they simply respond “nothing.” Then begins the guessing game. This can be dangerous territory because an incorrect response can send you directly to the doghouse. It’s almost like we’re expected to know what’s bothering them and fix it for them. Often times, we don’t even have a clue. If you answer wrong they exclaim “whatever” and so begins the silent treatment. This also carries over into sex. Women pretend that sex doesn’t matter as much to them. Since they seem to think sex is all we care about, they will use it to get exactly what they want. However, they are often unclear about what they want. (5792)

1. I remember a fight my girlfriend and I had about three weeks ago. I could not believe what she was so upset about. I had told her that I would be at her place around 8:30 pm depending on traffic. However, traffic was horrible and I was stuck on the 405. What could I do right? Anyways she calls me when I’m on the freeway and is so mad at me for not being there promptly at 8:30. I had no idea why she was so angry. For one thing, I don’t control traffic and another, it’s not like had dinner reservations or something where time was crucial. However, she starts talking about how I don’t care and that she’s not a priority to me. The whole time I’m just flabbergasted at how upset she is over something so trivial. I didn’t understand why she took it so personally and it got me thinking of past girls in my life who have been irrational.

1. I was once in a situation where a girl my age was angry at an old boyfriend because he was friends with a girl that she did not like. She confronted the guy asking him why they are friends and why he likes her. She even got me involved in the argument asking me to tell this guy that I didn’t even know why he should not be friends with this other girl. The whole situation was stupid and annoying. This may be a very extreme case, but it made me wonder if most females have a tendency to be overdramatic and overly jealous, or was it just this one girl? (5222)

1. The most mysterious facet of women, in my experience, concerns their emotional sensitivity. At times, their moods seem unpredictable and are often expressed quite suddenly and strongly. I cannot count the times my mother or sister have lashed out at me in a rage, or burst into tears, because of something I said. I am commonly puzzled by the intensity with which many women worry, and their reaction to such stressors that seem hardly at all to affect men.

1. I have found that girls tend to take some things that are said by men and overanalyze them to a very critical point. They do so to the point where they end up confusing or hurting themselves, where there is nothing in particular for them to be troubled over at the start. They sometimes tend to consider not so much what was said, but how it was said, and through this, things can be taken very far out of context. I believe that this could have something to do with the fact that females are much more emotionally in touch with themselves, and upon hearing a certain tone or a comment that could potentially cause some sort of drama, they will tend to analyze things much more than they should in order to assure themselves emotionally. What puzzles me is the fact that even though there is nothing meant by what was said, they still continue to be troubled by it even when it is confirmed that there is nothing wrong or nothing intended by what was said. This doesn’t seem to happen with men. Men seem to brush this sort of thing off. (0434)

1. This question seems to me to be a very easy answer, yes. Just about every interaction I have had with the opposite sex has left me puzzled and wondering why. I am one of those people that over analyzes situations and will agonize over the one sentence I feel was said wrong or made me look something other than “cool.” Women in situations seem to be ambiguous. They never explicitly state how they feel. They believe that by their body language and manner of speech that a male will be able to understand what they are feeling and act accordingly. To most women’s surprise this hardly ever happens. A man seldom reads between the lines and will find it very hard to understand the non-expressive gestures put forth by women. Women seem to be fueled by emotions more than common sense. Men tend to take things for what they are. A rock is a rock and so forth. Women tend to analyze an object or a given situation and give the rock life. Such is the case when men and women disagree. Some of the time a disagreement can be seen as merely a misunderstanding of the situation or conflicting viewpoints of what the situation means to them.

1. An ex of mine and I would often get into fights stemming from the fact that I did not spend enough time with her; yet, it seemed like all of my free time was spent with her and I didn’t have any time to spend with other friends - God forbid I raise this as an argument. The more I thought about it, however, I realized that I often talked about either people at work or funny situations that may have occurred there. I think she may have rationalized in her head that this time at work was “time with my friends” and that my free time outside of work should be with her. She did not have to work and did not understand that stories involving coworkers did not equate to a wonderful time of recreation and was actually quite stressful. This is may be indicative of the insecure thinking that girls often retreat to when they feel unwanted or neglected.

1. The pursuit of girls is something that always baffles me. I will say that I have been getting better with age, however, it is still mostly a great mystery to me. I had always been the person who said, “I will not play games. It should be simple, if she likes me she likes me, if she doesn’t she doesn’t.” I have since given up this conviction, because I realize that if I want to be around girls at this age, I need to submit to the system, however stupid I think it is. That being said, I do believe that when the right girl comes along I won’t have to play games. However, I am not ready for her yet, and in the mean time I’d like to enjoy the company of a lot of wrong girls. All that being said, here is the point. I used to wonder why I would always get girls I did not want and not get girls I did want. What I realized is that you have to kind of be a jerk to girls. Maybe jerk is a little extreme, what I mean is, you have to seem like you do not care about them, and that you do not care whether you get them. I just figured this out recently and have been consciously putting it to practice, and let me tell you it is uncanny how it works. I used to play “the nice guy”, but that got me no where. Don’t get me wrong, I am still an all around nice guy, and I am not a total asshole to girls, but I guess I have just given myself a little edge and attitude. (7519)

  1. 1. 1. I don’t understand why girls sometimes run screaming at each other to say hello when they see each other. I don’t really understand why they are so excited.9171.
  1. 1. One of the most puzzling things that has happened to me when interacting with females is their jealousy of other females. I have many plutonic female friends and if I am close to them and start hanging out with another female they seem to get really jealous and territorial. If you are just friends I don’t think there is any reason to be jealous. People are cable of having multiple friends. Not to mention that we aren’t even dating! I think I might understand if I was in some sort of a romantic relationship with the female, but I wasn’t. I think maybe females get jealous of other females for evolutionary reasons such as having to compete for the resources of a male. They probably feel that they are competing for those resources on some instinctual level even though in reality they are not. 1976

I was dating a girl for about a month and we were sitting in my car talking about life and out of the blue, she brings up her ex-boyfriend. I was completely thrown for a loop because he had never come up before, and to be honest, I was not sure why he had. She starts to tell me about him and how he made her feel and what happened in their past. Now from a guy’s perspective, I didn’t really care nor did I want to hear about her past relations. I do feel though, that woman like to share their lives more frequently then men do but for reasons that are not always obvious. She got all emotional while talking about him and seemed very reserved in her mannerisms at the same time. It was obvious to me that she was not ready to be dating again, yet still putting herself out there to console herself. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 1. One repeat situation that continues to puzzle me occurs in the bar scene. Women will go out to bars with no intention of talking to anyone but their own small group of girlfriends. The specific situation that I’m thinking of takes place at a bar near LMU. A group of girls had reserved the back section of the bar with instructions to the bouncer that no guys were allowed back there; and these girls weren’t lesbians just trying to let everybody know it, they legitimately just did not want to be around guys for the night. Needless to say, I was shocked. As a guy the whole reason why I go out to bars (or house parties) is to drink with my buddies and then talk to girls. That literally is my entire motivation for going out at night. So the fact that these girls wanted to have a “girls only” night, and had gone out of their way to make this blatantly clear, was puzzling indeed.
  1. 1. My feeling about this is that I cannot come up with any

incident or event in my dealings with the opposite sex, in which I found their actions puzzling or incomprehensible as a product of their sex. I have just generally found the actions of the human race as puzzling without linking it to whether or not they are female or male. Though I do believe that there are characteristics that may be generalized to gender as a whole, these characteristics are not puzzling or incomprehensible to me.

  1. 1 To be honest, I cannot think of a situation that I have been in that has

been puzzling or incomprehensible. I think the thought process of men and women are fairly similar and any confusion I have ever had has been more of a result of a misunderstanding than specific gender characteristics.

  1. 1 One thing that confuses me about the opposite sex is the way

females feel the need to do things in groups. If they're at a restaurant they always have to go to the bathroom in groups. I have even seen some females wait until the other females have to go before they go. I am not sure if this female characteristic is just copied from others or they actually really feel the need to go in groups. I have a feeling they do it because they see many other female do it.

  1. 1 In dating a girl, she seemed to hold back her feelings until I first revealed mine.

She would not tell me she loved me, even though she admitted to me later that she felt that way long before it became known to me. She would hold back on asking to hanging out with me, in fear she would scare me away with her "neediness." I have often noticed this behavior with several girls, and I can't help but contribute it to their insecurity. I don't want to say that all males would be willing to admit their feelings right off the bat, but these instances were in a relationship that had been ongoing for many months. I felt comfortable enough to share my feelings with her at that point, and I just wish she would have shared hers with me more openly.

  1. 1. Once I was extremely attracted to a girl who may or may not

have had similar feeling for me. She never made reference to her own feelings sexually, but her body language and mannerisms led me to believe that she was at least interested in me somewhat. But she had a boyfriend, so I had to respect her wishes for me to table my advances towards her. Some months later she broke up with her boyfriend and we began to spend more time together. But while it was still clear that she had some kind of feelings for me she never let them out into the open. We would be physical with each other, moreso than "friendship" neccesitates, but our intimacy never entered a relationship arena. I found this excrutiatingly puzzling. I would have understood this if it had been clear that she was not attracted to me, but the subtext of our relationship seemed to speak otherwise.

  1. 1 There have been situations I have experienced in which

interactions with the opposite sex have been very ambiguous or puzzling. This interaction, I believe, could have only been explained by a difference in gender. Perhaps the most puzzling aspect I have found of the opposite sex is the "mind games" that they like to play. Maybe they aren't mind games; maybe it is just that girls function on some other level. But maybe girls get a kick out of fooling with a guy and tricking him. Getting him to show some emotion and then toying with him. I am not sure how it works. For instance in dating I think that a guy is so much more straight forward and to the point. Whereas a girl's motives are hidden and can only be discovered through investigation. Does she like you? Does she just want to be your friend? Does she not even like you at all?

  1. 1. In a relationship I was in, I had a girlfriend who was particularly fond of me. However, we

were growing apart and I was almost ready to end it. She could see this was coming and as a last ditch effort from letting this happen, she told me that she was pregnant. I was completely shocked and puzzled. Later, I found out this was not true and it blew me away. I think she thought that by saying that, she could hold onto me. It is not too different than other mind games that I have often been the victim of in relationships with females. This was just the most extreme form it had taken. However, all it did was throw me into a whirlwind of emotion, which, upon finding out the truth, solidified my mind that I wanted nothing to do with her.

  1. 1 The most puzzling thing that’s happened to me is with my ex-girlfriend. Anytime she seemed upset and I would ask her what’s wrong, she would always reply, “Nothing.” Even when I saw a tear trickle down her face and asked her, I got the same response. It was never an angry response; she would always try to make it sound sincere. I’m not sure if it was that she didn’t want me to worry about her, or maybe it was at this point she was considering breaking up with me. Either way, it was frustrating that I could do nothing to help.

1. My girlfriend once got mad at me for waking her up when she fell asleep on the couch. She was extremely angry and continued to be the next day. I found this deeply puzzling and incomprehensible. After some thinking and digging and I put it to her that the reason she was lashing out was really because she was insecure about myself going to college before her. She admitted to this. I see know correlation between insecurity of separation and getting angry at me when I woke her up after she fell asleep on the couch. I don’t get it.

1. Trying to generalize: I have found that girls become bored all too easily with people, both male and female. I have noticed in two of my girl friends and even in my sister that they are attracted to either the most successful, handsome, excellent males (Not too strange) or the exact opposite, the guys who are high school dropouts, have no job etc. They have zero inclination to be with “normal” guys. I don't know if the find them boring or what. It is as if they look at the most logical choice of guys to be with and then purposely choose the opposite. My sister and both of these girls have dated or tried to date guys that were nearly 12 years older than them. These guys weren’t just older though, they were pretty much deadbeats. Working dead end retail jobs or striving to become managers of PetCo etc. It is as if there is a desire for a discrepancy in the relationship, to be taken care of or to take care of. I have a feeling that this trend is age related but I am not sure. It could be random that these three girls are not the normal cases, but I think that they are.

1. At one point, I did in fact date a girl during my teenage years with whom I did have a puzzling and/or incomprehensible interaction with. When we were at the movies on a Saturday night, seeing a movie of her choice, I had strange feelings about the way she felt towards me. We had not recently dated or known each other, as we had just met a few days prior. During the middle of the movie she said she was going to use the restroom. That was in fact the last time I ever saw her. She did not return to the movie, and had left. My only guess is that she perhaps did not know the best way in which to communicate that she really was not “into” me and wanted to leave. I found it odd that instead of being forthcoming and honest about the way she felt, she instead left without a word. (9852)

1. Interactions with women are quite different from those I have with men. Women often tend to respond quite differently than males. With my male friends, I discuss radically different topics than I would with females. A situation in which I find deeply puzzling is having the same conversation with males and females, and witnessing their reaction. I have often found myself discussing topics with females that were appropriate with my male friends, but that women seemed turned off by. Why does this happen? It seems almost as if women are more sensitive and attentive to conversation in general. Men do not make conversation a big deal and often feel any topic is appropriate, but women seem to be more engaged emotionally in regards to conversation and therefore are more affected by what is being said. (6321)

1. What seems to be really puzzling about women is why they are so sensitive with everything, highly emotional. Maybe the problem goes with both of us because the way we communicate are very different. We are communicated through actions where as women communicate through logistics and cohersion. It’s not who is right or wrong, we are both right but we just don’t know how to convey that to the opposite sex. Hence, we become frustrated and women become very sensitive not because of our feelings towards one another but mainly through the lack of understanding the way of communicating. Women expect us to understand how they feel. We think hard about what they did wrong and try to make it up but it never works out right because we think too much and sometimes end up in a very sour way. Gender is an immense issue, nature vs. nurture, naturally both women and men have different attributes. Why do women like to chat on the phone for so long or why do they make small things into big problems? Do we see us talking on the phone for so long as a habit? No, because it is not in the nature of us to do so. (0475)

1) As I sit here thinking the only thing that comes to mind is how females are so damned coy! It puzzles and infuriates the hell out of me when I can never get a direct answer from a girl. Guys are relatively direct because they are lazy; they don’t want to use more words than they have to in order to explain things, but every single girl has always been coy. The only motivation I can think of in being so indirect is mental stimulation of such game, which then always gets me more and more confused until I give up. (8879)

1. One previous/ on-going interaction with the opposite sex that puzzles me is the way in which females feel so self-conscious about the way they look. When I ask why they take so much time to come to appear to the way that they want to I get answers like, “I do it for myself, it isn’t for anyone else”. Although they may say it is for themselves and themselves alone I feel that this may act upon the tool they have developed for courtship or a tool to keep a mate interested. There seems to be a lot of anxiety involved in looking good for themselves as well, that only increases the later they become for whatever they were getting ready for. (5433)

1. If there is one thing that puzzles me or that I think is incomprehensible with a girl I'd have to say the use of strategic ambiguity. I feel like woman in general answer questions or give responses that are purposefully ambiguous to keep us in the dark and to get away with things. I find it frustrating as well as an issue that is harmful for trust because it leaves men with more questions and as men our minds go in a millions places like what is that supposed to mean? (6867)

#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.

2. What I like about the opposite sex: Most often than not females tend to smell a whole lot better than males; they tend to be nurturing towards others that they feel they are not in competition with; they tend to be more attractive than us males; they tend to try to be clean and organized in comparison with males. What I dislike about the opposite sex: tend to be a little more anxious and stress out more than males. They also tend to over analyze situations and think that they are something that they are not. (5433)

2. It almost seems easier to come up with aspects that I dislike about girls. I was once sitting with my roommate talking about girls, when he looked at some cute blonde chick across the room and exclaimed, “look at them, there isn’t much to like.” Except of course for sex. I started to laugh at the girl’s body language as she screamed into the phone, filled with so much drama and emotion. Drama is my biggest pet peeve with women. They respond emotionally to everything. No matter the situation, they will always find something that’s wrong or something that makes the feel uncomfortable. They worry constantly about things that have no relevance and I often find myself baffled wondering what’s going through their heads. The movie, Clueless is a great representation of the trivial, yet seemingly life and death dilemmas women face on a daily basis. However, there are certainly some positive aspects about women as well. In general the things I tend to like most about women is their appearance and the way they smell. Women are very detail oriented and often pay close attention to their appearance. They tend to try to look their best no matter the circumstance and best of all they smell great, at least most of the time. They also tend to be better listeners than most guys and offer a certain compassion you can’t really find anywhere else. There’s no better feeling when you’re sick than having a girl around to take care of you. They are often nurturing and seem to know how to make you feel like someone cares about you. They are also more willing to cook, clean and do laundry, which can be a really good thing if they know what they are doing. (5792)

2. I like how girls are so easy to talk to. I feel that I can open up easier with girls then I can with guys. I also like and appreciate their beauty. I dislike how they can be full of themselves. It might be just where I live, but I feel like a lot of girls worry so much about how they look and act that they forget there are other people in the world.(9792)

2. Like: Women smell nice, are usually nice looking, are sympathetic, are supportive as friends, and are clean. Dislike: Women are often bossy, talk pointlessly at times, easily get offended, hold grudges, and worry too much.

  1. 2. that they are clean, easy to relax with, good looking, sexually satisfying, nurturing. I don’t like that they can be really picky with their looks, that they get offended easily, tend to complain a lot.9171.

2. I like that girls are nurturing and affectionate. I like how pretty they look and how easily they can connect to most people. However, girls can be really irrational and moody. Often times they can also be over-analytic over things such as little words or pauses, which creates a problem in communication.

2. I like how females tend to show a lot more sensitivity and compassion than most males. I also like the gentleness and natural beauty of the female body and face. I don’t like how females tend to be more dramatic and catty than most males. I also don’t like how some females can be very needy, seeing some of my female friends thinking they always have to have a boyfriend to be happy. (5222)

2. What do I like about the opposite sex? I could go on all night. I can say with the utmost honesty that there exists no other creation in this world as beautiful as girl. I mean this in both the physical sense and the dispositional sense. The female body is God’s masterpiece. The curves, the softness, the mysterious intricacies; it is no wonder that so many artists and so many cultures have revered and still revere it. There is nothing that draws my eyes more. I am not just talking about sexually either (although that of course is one wonderful aspect), I mean this first and foremost in the way a person might drink in a beautiful sunset and find themselves longing for something indescribably divine behind it all. As far as their disposition goes, I love the nurturing, affectionate, sweet, and soft sides of a woman. I feel they are better listeners and more sensitive and compassionate than guys. I enjoy their playful nature, their cleanliness, the way they worry about certain things such as how cute they look, and I especially love their [seemingly] innocent ways. I dislike mixed signals. I also dislike the way they might misinterpret things I say and instead of confronting me about it, overanalyze it, go crazy over it and then try and let me know they are displeased in a way that only a mind reader could realize. Many girls are melodramatic and petty. However it is so hard to generalize all of this stuff. I usually don’t surround myself with to many stereotypically negative girls, I like the down to earth ones. In addition, I’d say I am a pretty sensitive and communicative guy when dealing with girls, so maybe the things that bug most stereotypical “guys” don’t really bug me because I see where girls are coming from.(7519)

2. I like the fact that females are very compassionate and affectionate. Most have a sort of nurturing, motherly feel to them and it makes me feel as though I’m being taken care of. I also like the fact that they are much more gentle than boys are. It’s a nice break from going from rough and loud boys to softer and gentler girls. The contrast is what really sticks out about them to me. I generally dislike what I spoke about in the previous paragraph. They take things too seriously sometimes or overanalyze things. This often leads to a lot of unneeded drama. (0434)

2. In general I tend to like just about everything of the opposite sex. Although women are more emotional and tend to come with more “baggage” than men this is what attracts me to them. If a woman talked like me or acted like me there would never be an argument or frustration which is what makes a relationship fun and interesting. When two people are put together their upbringings are different and their viewpoints are different so it would only be natural that there would be tension and fights among them. I like the way women act, smell, feel, etc. Women smell better than men they are soft and delicate and when a woman needs a man for protection it makes me feel good about myself. It might be my primitive instincts coming out but I like when a woman is dependent on me for certain things. I feel a sense of power and responsibility. These same things that I happen to like in women are the same things I dislike about them; it’s a catch 22. It’s like the old saying can’t live women, can’t live without them. This rings true here.

2.I love the empathy that most women often display, largely due to their emotional nature. The frequency with which they talk about their feelings (whether among each other or to other males) and/or emotions makes them much better listeners if I were to ever speak about my emotions. I dislike the way that women often let their emotions get the best of them and allow them to cloud their judgment regarding otherwise simple logical or rational dilemmas.

  1. 2. The things I really like about females are that they are generally pretty nurturing, caring and pretty open/accepting of differences in people. When I hang out with females they really try to make you feel as if you are part of the group and don’t seem to be outwardly as judgmental. The conversation flows much differently then when I am with my male friends. Women tend to build each other up and say what they like about each other. When I hang out with guys they tend to always be competing for who does what better then the other. The thing I like least about females is what I discussed in the earlier question about the jealousy, even on a friendship level. The other thing that drives me crazy about females is their tendency to get rather dramatic about things. I had two female roommates at one point and they would cry all the time about every little thing…or even nothing. 1976
  1. 2. In general, the number one quality that I like about women is that they are relationship oriented. They actually listen to what you say and legitimately care about it. They also are more in touch with their feelings and know how to bring about feelings in other people. Women are good at making a person (guy or girl) feel special. The thing that I dislike about women is that the “special” feeling they give people is often fake. Women love to be nice to each other and then talk so much crap behind each others backs. As a guy, I complain about women having so much drama, but thinking about it now, the drama is all caused because of the fakeness. If girls were straightforward with each other and didn’t get all their friends involved then there would be a lot less problems.
  1. 2. On many occasions, I find girls easier to talk to than other guys. The only problem with talking to girls about personal issues is that they seem to have a tendency to not keep things private. Guys on the other hand are harder to talk to about personal issues, yet they will keep things between them. The fact that girls gossip among themselves is not an attractive characteristic, however, if you can find a trustworthy girl, she can be very helpful in giving advice.

In general, I like the physical appearance of females. Without stating the obvious features that males find eye-catching, I also find females’ faces very attractive. In addition, I admire females’ sensitivity. There are times where I need an emotional net, and I feel much more comfortable seeking a woman’s support rather than a male’s. In general, I dislike a woman’s complexity. Their indirect form of communication, at times, doesn’t seem to favor males’ need for a direct answer or response. There seems to be underlying motives that men cannot figure out, which causes many misinterpretations.

They are of course very beautiful creatures. A woman's body is like a work of art. Cute and sexy is always a deadly combo. I love how woman can care and nuture in a much more sensitive manner than a man could ever try. And although it can be intimidating, nothing is sexier nor more impressive than an intelligent and well-spoken woman. She can catch every man's eye and ear within the sound of her voice. Women tend to be a little more sensible at times, so they can be good to have around. And they're a hell of a lot of fun to hug too. On the other hand, women can be lying, cheating, manipulating, secretive, misleading, scandalous, mischevious, conniving, deceitful, duplicitous, dishonest, fake, and torturous human beings the likes of which scares many a young boy and whatever fantasies he might have away! . I like that women are nurturing and affectionate towards others. There intelligence and rational thinking makes for a good conversation. Women are also very beautiful to look at. If I had the option to look at a male or a female, the women has better all around qualities. I really dislike women’s mood swings and drama that they bring about in their lives. They always seems to be comparing themselves to others females which creates havoc in all different ways. I also dislike how women tend to be over judgmental and or over analytic. Things that are said or done should not always be looked at in a deeper manner, but taken for what it is. Things don’t always carry double meanings. 9735 8/28/08

I like basically all that we discussed in class about females. I like there “curves,” or physical appearance. I like how they are hygiene conscious and go out of their way to look good. They are good communicators. They are very comforting at times and loving. I have to respect and admire those who are stay at home moms, because I know that I would not be able or want to do that. I don’t like how they can be so dramatic at times. I do not like how they read into things and do not come out and say what they mean. They test you and want the male to understand what they are trying to say instead of just simply saying it. I think all males lives would be a little better if they could just express what they really want.

  1. 2. There are several things that I like about the opposite sex.

The one thing I like the most is the way that they don't take things personally. I believe that is a big downfall for girls. Another thing that I enjoy and what I think makes me attracted the most is the way that they are risk takers. Guys are willing to go anywhere and try anything which makes them look sexy. The biggest thing that I don't like about guys is the way that they don't know how to express their emotions. A girl could sit there and tell a guy how much she cares about him or how much she likes him and a guy would just say "I like you too". They need to be more expressive which I know can be hard for them but if you are such risk takers, take a risk and express what you are thinking.

  1. 2. In my particular case, I've found that the female species is

much easier to talk to. They are more willing to participate in a conversation that may deal with personal or intellectual issues. I dislike the female race for their unreliability. In my personal experience, I've found that my female companions do not follow through with everything that they promise.

  1. 2 I dislike how long it takes females to get ready. I also

dislike how worried they are about what everyone else is thinking. They blow everything out of proportion. They need to realize the world doesn't watch them that closely and just relax. I do like how soft and smooth females are. And I usually really like how they smell. Most of the time they are sympathetic and good listeners. In general they make me feel good about things.

  1. 2. In general I truly appreciate the inherent sensitivity of

the "gentler" sex. They are always more ready to listen to problems or concerns and they are usually better at phrasing constructive criticism. They always have a distinct girly smell that seems to make everything in the room that much more pleasing. Like a kind of King Midas curse, everything they touch smells better. Thats why, as a guy, its good to get a girl to walk around your room at least once day, if only for nasal purposes. What I dont appreciate girls is their unreadable qualities (see #1). I understand that leaving something to mystery in relationships is sexy, but if elaborate mindgames become all that is constant in a romance than the important parts of it are left to guesswork. And, speaking as a male, we are definitely the worse guessers of the 2 genders.

  1. 2. In general, I like that girls are very beautiful, soft,

thoughtful, and caring. You can tell a girl anything and she will listen. Girls are a perfect compliment to guys. I dont like the fact that girls play so many mind games and they hold sexual control over a guys head. A girl will say things like, Do this, or your not getting any tonight. I hate that. #2 I like how girls look. I think that girls are very beautiful. Maybe it isn't that girls are more beautiful then guys but it is easier for them to look nice. In general I like how girls smell as well. Maybe that is more of a quality of the perfume they are wearing then their actual odor. I particularly like how easy it is to talk to girls about things. Anything. Girls are good listeners and they really care about what you are saying or at least pretend to care. Girls show their feelings more and are more emotional creatures. It seems to be easier to have an intimate relationship with a girl. I think it is because we don't judge members of the opposite sex as much as we do members of our own sex. What I dislike about members of the opposite sex is first off when it comes to dating there are always hidden motives as I have explained before in question one.

  1. 2 In general, I like how women are more loving. I like how women are softer, not just in body, but also in disposition and character. I also admit that I do like long hair. I know that men can have long hair too, and that some women have short hair and it looks good on them, but in general, I do like long hair. Of course, I cannot ignore the beauty of women. I also like them, because I can talk to them about relationships. I would just feel weird to talk to another guy about feelings. What I dislike about women is their secretiveness. It seems like they’re never straightforward; they have to give “hints.”

2. I obviously like the way the opposite sex looks. They are soft and curvy and look like a piece of art. They are also usually nurturing, caring, and sympathetic. They appreciate beauty much more and can communicate their feelings. However I dislike how conceded, vain, materialistic, irrational, and insecure they can be. They can be way too emotional and insight too much drama.

2a. Like: Naturally there is a nice balance that girls bring to men’s lives. Generally they are cleaner and more organized. Girls are so clean that it drives me personally to focus on my living situation and hygiene. To have any chance of having a girl over to my place I feel a desire to clean my house occasionally. This probably wouldn’t happen if girls were not in the equation. Continuing this point, girls are generally healthier than guys. They eat better and are more apt to treat common illnesses. I know personally I will wait until a cold is about to kill me before I take medicine. In general girls are necessary because they drive us to better ourselves. We want to better ourselves generally just to attract a mate. Girls seem more patient than guys. The ability to deal with kids is also amazing. Girls feel comfortable around other people’s children where guys I think don’t. 2b. Dislike: The most bothersome thing I have ever encountered is how materialist women are. It is disgusting. “A girl’s best friend is a Diamond”, where as a man’s best friend is a dog. Guys work hard to acquire cars and expensive stuff just to attract a mate. I do feel that girls are more apt to emotion as well. I really watch what I say around women because I feel they may take it the wrong way. Sometime girls are too clean as well. Most mothers I know have towels in their bathrooms that no one is allowed to use. The bathroom in my friends own house is off limits because of his mom’s need to be clean.

2. Personally, there are many things which I like about females, and interestingly not very many things which I do not like. As for the list of likes, I would have to say that first; the physical appearance of women in general is striking. Women tend to have, at least from what I have observed, a profound ability to see right through others. Along the same lines, women are very capable of picking up on subtle feelings and gestures that can inform them about a person’s mood or feelings. For the most part, I also find that women are more caring, understanding, and simply forgiving about mistakes. To sum up the short list of dislikes, the only fault I find is that at times their ability to over-think and over-analyze situations can lead them to conclusions that are not close to the truth. (9852)

2. There are a number of qualities that I enjoy about the opposite sex. First, I appreciate the physical attractiveness of women and their body in general. I also like their emotional skills, hygiene, tenderness, smell, and domestic inclinations, which includes their ability to maintain the house and the family. There are also some things that I do not like: women are often insecure, very dramatic, materialistic, tend to talk about nonsense, are too affected by their friends, have bad navigational skills, and tend to be very indecisive. (6321)

2. In general the women are confusing. Mainly because we are also confusing and we don’t know how to communicate with them comfortably, vice versa. Women have fascinating attributes, I would actually say women’s body shape is much more attractive than the ours. It has a primitive bodily feature, sort of like the ancient times of mother nature. Women seems to have slender and our body seems to be more rigid and rough. Not only their physical features, women tend to cling on when they are in a relationship, they have dreams of romantic love, and forever happiness. Not innocent but very pleasing to hear that they are willing to help a lot in a relationship. Also I feel good when women compliment on something about me, it makes my day sometimes. Again, I dislike women because they talk too much and they make everything a big deal. (0475)

2) First of all, women are designed to be aesthetically appealing to men. That being said: I like it! I also like how women are intelligent and more emotionally aware of themselves. Dislikes seem to be a little more numerous than likes. A big one being their infamous mood swings and the drama they can cause. In class it was raised that girls can be overly analytical at times which can contribute to the drama. Additionally, women send mixed signals a lot of the time, which I believe to be an extension of the typically analytical behavior exhibited towards other females. To other women it might seem a natural interaction, but males mostly just find it irritating and troublesome.

I would also like to point out that for some reason it is a little easier to identify some simple little things that are annoying in women because everyone, whether male or female, has little things that irritate them, but finding likes is unfairly difficult. I say unfair because there are things that can be singled out and held as examples, but creating a list of likes is infinitely more difficult because in appreciating something as broadly defined as a woman, you tend to lump multiple smaller impressions together to form one larger impression that is generally applicable. (8879)

2. When I think of the things that I like woman I tend to enjoy most the affection. It is easier for them to express themselves and there is a certain vulnerability that a man cannot generally take part in normally. There seems to be an ease in "bringing down walls" or simply being oneself with a woman and it is much more accepted by woman. Something I don't like about the opposite sex is there inherent ability to lie to us and tell us things that they think we want to here. I would much more have an honest woman I know than a liar I think I know. (6867)

#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?

3. I think the greatest misunderstanding women have of men is our need for sex. Yes, women know that sex is the most important thing to a man. However, they do not understand the symbolism behind it. Girls can be extremely difficult and stressful to deal with, yet sex fixes all these problems. After sex, you don’t feel nearly as bad about having to put up with the struggles of dealing with women. All the hoops they make you jump through all of a sudden don’t matter because it finally seems like it’s worth it. Without sex I would probably rather go hang out with my friends. (5792)

3. I think that girls tend to misunderstand male jealousy. I think they constantly see it as a bad thing, don’t get me wrong it can become a little of a bad thing, but for the most part I feel that jealousy is an evolved mechanism of guys to keep mates and if we guys were push-overs all the time we would probably lose our “mates”. I also think jealousy is a way that male express that they care for a certain person of the opposite sex. (5433)

3. I feel that a lot of girls don't think guys care about them as much as they care about us, but I feel that it is them just over analyzing the situation again.(9792)

3. I think the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about guys is how guys can seem to not care about anything. For instance, I am a laid back guy and don’t let a whole lot bother me but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s nothing I care about. It just means that there are only a few things I place importance in such as friends, family, and school. Other things like fashion or drama is of little importance to me.

3. Women often believe that men think and feel less than they actually do. They assume many men to be inconsiderate an insensitive, and this is likely only because men are more private about such thoughts and feelings.

  1. 3. I feel that the opposite sex does not understand that what we can act a bit immature and childish, we are still very capable of being sensitive and understanding to peoples issues and problems. 9171.

3. I think that many females would make the generalization that all guys are “assholes”. I have heard so many girls say that there are no nice guys left, which is stupid. Not all guys are “assholes”. Maybe some females are just attracted to the “asshole” type, or maybe they are just looking for men in the wrong places. (5222) I feel that men should not try to hide their emotions even in front of other guys. It throws us off if one minute they are macho and the next their Mr. compassionate. Yes he is right men do crazy things when females are involved. I don’t think we misunderstand men, men just don’t know how to express how they feel properly even on one on one men still have problems expressing or even acknowledging within themselves how they feel.3138

3. I think the one thing women tend to misunderstand about men is our emotions. Women think of men as stubborn people who would never understand what they’re going through. This tends to be the opposite. When a man is one on one with a woman we tend to be very compassionate and understanding of the problem at hand. When put in a group with other men we will put on a tough guy face and try to look cool in front of other guys. Guys are emotional creatures and sometimes these emotions do get the best of us. This doesn’t mean that we are irrational and stubborn as most women tend to think. Its just that when men get fixated on a certain subject or sometimes a certain female we do crazy things.

3. I will blame this on the culture and on asshole guys who give us a bad name, but we have a very sensitive side. Although, maybe I am not a good representation of the typical guy. I sometimes really wish that guys like me had an opportunity to show girls that side. Ultimately we want what they want, love, affection, someone to care for and be cared by, a meaningful relationship. Maybe a lot of us are just young and want to live it up while we can, but I personally look forward to marriage as well. Guys have to hide this stuff because of how society portrays us. Girls complain about being objectified, well I’m complaining about being desensitized. (7519)

3. I think they misunderstand the way that our brains work, and the manner with which we express ourselves. When they view an expression (or more often the lack thereof) they often misinterpret what it may or may not mean. They often think that if we do not react to a situation exactly as they would, that we may be thinking radically different than they are (referring to said situation) when in actuality this may not necessarily be the case.

  1. 3. I feel like females sometimes think that men do not have feelings or emotions. Even though we do not display them quite so easily and they may not be as dramatic we do have them. We just don't need to talk about them 24/7. 1976

Girls think guys only want to have sex with them.

Men are not always insensitive.

Just because women complicate EVERYTHING, doesn't mean men do too. We condense and simply, mostly cause we're a little lazy.

I think the fact that we don’t express our feelings. I think that males do express how the feel, but there is just not much there to express. We are simple and less complicated than our counterparts

  1. 3. Women don’t understand that guys like to live in the moment and be spontaneous. If a girl asks me what I’m doing tomorrow the answer would be I don’t know, and I legitimately would not know. Sure there is a rough idea of plans but nothing concrete and the way guys like it. Honestly, if I commit to something for later on in the week the first thing I’m thinking is how can I get out of this if I have to. You can’t break plans if you don’t have them in the first place!
  1. 3. I believe that the female sex sometimes misunderstands that

one male may not speak for the entire race of men. They may believe that one man, particularly in the case of a unintelligent or egotistical male, is representative of all men. They may also believe that all men are pigs and that they are incredibly stupid.

  1. 3 I think women most misunderstand how important guy stuff is

i.e. sporting games, hanging out with guy friends, being vulgar, and checking out girls to keeping our sanity. These things are OK as long as your actions stay moral and descent.

  1. 3 I think the thing women misunderstand most about men

is how men typically deal with their emotions. While men may often seem stoic and unemotional (maybe after a breakup, for example) this is not necessarily the case. Men just have different ways of dealing with emotions, such as pushing emotional thoughts to the back of their mind and dealing with them on their own time.

  1. 3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about

women is the way they feel. Guys need to consider girls emotions before they go and do something or say something. Sometimes they have the tendency to just think about one thing (sex) while girls are thinking about the relationship or the bigger picture.

I think that women misunderstand men and their listening and communication abilities. I feel that women treat men like they do not know how to communicate or solve problems so they treat us as if were incompetent. Women complain about men not listening, but in all reality, their not telling us about a problem, they are just talking to talk in order to see if we are paying attention. As a man, I want to solve the issues that my female counterparts have, but most of the time there is no clear cut issue to resolve. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 3. I believe that the female sex sometimes misunderstands that

one male may not speak for the entire race of men. They may believe that one man, particularly in the case of a unintelligent or egotistical male, is representative of all men. They may also believe that all men are pigs and that they are incredibly stupid.

3. I feel the opposite often misunderstands our sex’s sense of chivalry. Females often take acts of chivalry as an act to dominate women when really we’re just trying to help and take care of females.

  1. 4. I am definitely attracted to females that are free thinkers and not afraid to say what they are

actually thinking. Physical appearance is big but not everything. I need someone I can actually talk to and who can carry a good conversation.

  1. 3 Females most misunderstand the way we think. They try to play

games and mess with our heads when all they are doing is looking stupid. They are too irrational!

  1. 3. Females dont understand the males ability to be physical and

yet unemotional with intimacy. A male can very easily be physical with a girl hes attracted to and yet not romantically interested in. Yet most females cannot engage in sexual activities with a male without experiencing some kind of emotional pang for him. A classic example is the girl who cant understand why her partner wont call her the next morning. A girl always thinks she can change a guy. What she doesnt understand is that the male mindset is not only stubborn but biologically predisposed to be such as well.

  1. 3. I think the opposite sex thinks that men are just muscle

bound idiots that love sports and being rowdy. The fact is that most guys are very smart and like soft music, cooking, and have many other feminine traits. Ive seen plenty of girls more masculine than most men.

  1. 3 One thing that girls misunderstand

about guys is that they aren't just about sex. We talk about it a lot and we definitely do enjoy it but that isn't what we are all about. Guys value relationships just as much as girls do. At least most guys do. Guys care about their girlfriends just as much as girls care about their boyfriends if not more. They usually just don't show it as much. Their feelings are more hidden but they are definitely there.

  1. 3 I think they misunderstand how guys hang out and interact with each other.

3. I think girls don’t realize how much we listen. When we find a girl attractive we try to remember everything. If we don’t listen then we probably aren’t into you at all. I think we watch “Chick Flicks” and listen to questionable music more than girls think. Everything we do in public is a front to appear tougher to other guys.

3. I believe the most misunderstood attribute about males that a majority of females generally accept as default is that men lack the ability to be passionate, romantic, caring, and thoughtful. Too often I have felt the assumption that because I am a male, I am incapable of writing a poem to someone telling them how much I care, or surprising someone with a gift for no reason what so ever. More often than not women seem to believe, at least from my past experience, that when a man does such an act, they are expecting something in return, most notably some sort of sexual act or compensation. (9852)

3. Women often tend to misunderstand men as being unemotional. They are often portrayed as being stoic. Men are actually very emotional, and even though they may not cry, go on tirades to their friends about their problems, or have emotional breakdowns, they are still human and are just as affected by issues as women. Men just tend to not show their emotions as much as females; they do not wear their hearts on their sleeves usually. This, in turn, leads to men being confusing to women and drastic communication problems between the sexes. (6321)

3. We are not only animalistic, we are in fact very emotional it’s just that we never show and cannot express in a very cohesive way. This is why we argue most of the time. It’s not because we don’t care, it’s because we care so much that we think about it in ourselves and then try to execute how we feel but never turns out right. (0475)

3. Stereotypically, I think that women can often put men into groups based on what they see on TV. An example being the stereotype that men only think with their genitals and are only out for sex. The truth is that often a lot of men are looking for meaningful relationships. They don’t just want sex. The men that do kind of ruin it for the rest of men. (0434)

3) The mantra “all men are dogs” embodies the females’ misunderstanding of males. The saying implies that males resemble a dog’s single-minded dedication to eating, sleeping, and sex. Interestingly enough I have never heard the saying used to imply indulgences of the first two occupations. Thus, the saying is implies that sex is all that men care about. This simply isn’t true. Yes, admittedly men are preoccupied with sex an awful lot, more often than not using it to determine a potential partner’s physical attractiveness. However, romanticism and a strong relationship can be vitally important too, if in different circumstances. (8879)

3. One thing that the opposite sex thinks about us is that we all want sex. Yes, it's important, but its not everything. I think it is something that a healthy relationship needs, the intimacy as well as the act is a stress relief, pleasure, and important act to reinforce the bond between the couple. It's not the only thing I think about when I want to engage in a relationship or start seeing someone. (6867)

#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?

4. Some of the traits that attract me to a person off the bat are more physical ques. The things I tend to look at as far as attraction goes are females’ eyes, hair, and nose, as well as their breast and butt. But as I get to know a girl then personality and intelligence come into play and this determines whether or not I would consider dating them or not. (5433)

4. Certain girls have a confidence about them, which seems to make me feel particularly attracted to them. These are the kind of girls that act like they have nothing to prove and don’t care what anyone else thinks. They don’t care whether they offend you or make you laugh so long as they are entertained. I’m particularly attracted to girls who I feel are always looking at me out of the corner of their eye as if they are saying “I’m smarter than you” or “I’ll out wit you any day.” This creates a challenge that I love because I know that no matter how witty a girl may think she is, she’s not as witty as me. I think the most important factor that attracts me to girls is physical appearance and the way in which they carry themselves. You can tell a lot about girls by the way they look. They’re looks, mannerisms, and gestures often reveal a lot about their personality traits. The first thing I look at when I see any girl is physical appearance and sometimes it just clicks. (5792)

4. I definitely find that the girls I am attracted to have a physical appearance that fit my "taste." Although their physical appearance plays a role in how attractive they are to me, their personality and interests also play a huge role. I remember being very attracted to a girl a few years ago, but once I found out we had nothing in common and she liked to stay indoors I grew to find her more and more unattractive. physical appearance plays a role but i need to have some sort of connection if the relationship would go any further than being "just friends."(9792)

  1. 4. Initially I am attracted to someone because of their appearance. However, after that the attraction is mostly due to how that person interacts with other people and as well as me. I feel that it is important for a girl to show that she is capable of letting her guard down and really joke around with people. It makes me feel more comfortable as well as show me that they are able to have a casual conversation easily. 9171.

4. I tend to go along with the saying “birds of a feather flock together.” I tend to be attracted to those girls who are similar to me in regards to things like values, personality, and interests. I like confident girls who are friendly and laid back. I also like girls that have a real positive outlook on life as well as a good head on their shoulders and a sense of humor.

4. I would have to say that the trait that I find most attractive in females is overall kindness, or the person’s overall intentions. I also think that a sense of humor and intelligence are very important traits that I look for in the opposite sex. I also think that there has to be some sort of physical attraction based on appearance and or the girl’s mannerisms in order for me to feel attracted to a girl. I don’t think that looks are that important, but I can’t help if I am physically attracted to someone or not, it’s involuntary. I also don’t care about social status in looking for members of the opposite sex. (5222)

4. The characteristics of this woman that attracted me to her at first was purely physical. Her body was amazing. She had the ideal body that I looked for in a woman. Then as I got to know this person her personality was really attractive as well. She was fun and easy going and hung out with the same people I did so it made it easy to see her. The more I saw her the more I became attracted to her. If we didn’t have the same friends I could see myself as merely thinking this girl was attractive and not thinking anything more of it. However as we hung out more her friendly gestures toward me really seemed like she liked me as well. So the flirting back and forth coupled with her attractiveness and great personality made this girl attractive to me. I totally agree with what he is saying here physical appearance is a factor but that factor fades away if you don’t have personality or intelligence. The first thing you are attracted to is physical appearance but what last longer then physical appearance is personality characteristic and intelligence. Women must attract a male before she unleashes her true beauty which is her inner being. Women want a guy for more than just looks, we want the whole package or at least someone who is attractive psychologically for example kind, smart and has something in common with us or something that they are compassionate about. 3138

4. I think it was the ability to simply enjoy oneself and not rely or depend on anything or anyone else to achieve this self-satisfaction and complacency. This girl was very independent, yet got along extremely well with others and had a beautiful smile. I found this extremely attractive.

4. The most important factor that attracted me to the girl was the way she smiled at me. Not only was it pretty, but it was warm and felt personal.

  1. 4. I am gay, I am not attracted to the opposite sex. 1976

Personality is the most important trait a member of the opposite sex can have. (While physical appearance is a nice bonus, it is not a necessity). I need to be able to talk to a girl about something more substantive than Marissa’s death on “The OC”. I am also attracted to a girl who is smart and keeps current with politics and world events.

Physical appearance, sense of humor, confidence, common interests, overall personality. The most important factor was personality.

I like a girl who has a good body and a great smile. And pay attention ladies, I said "good", not "perfect." Fit, should be the word. As long as you're inshape and not just some lazy good-for-nothing couch potato with an extra 50 or 60 pounds, guys will notice you, you don't have to be anorexic. I love a girl that can take a joke, maybe even dish out a few of her own, and a girl that likes to go out and have fun. Movies, bowling, camping, hiking, you name it. Self confidence is very important, you have to love yourself or you'll never really love me either. Money is NEVER a reason for any decisions, though always a plus if it just so happens that way, but hey, its the guy's job to pay anyway, right? We just want a little help is all, just like an attempt to try and pay for yourself as we block your hand and pay ourselves. And a little humility goes a long way. No one likes a hothead, especially not some stuck up daddy's girl who always wants to get her way.

A lot of guys like boobs or butts, but I personally am attracted most to a nice flat stomach. I still like boobs and butts, but I usually look at the stomach and legs first. I like girls who have happy, outgoing personality. Someone who is willing to try new things and get out of her safe zone. I also like down to earth girls. I am turned off by superficial girls who only care about looks and shopping.

I really liked the way she dressed. She had a conservative look to her that was not revealing so it made the mind think more than if she was revealing more. She walked into the room with a demeanor about her that made every ones eyes go straight toward her. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup and had a beautiful smile on her face. She said hello, she wasn’t shy, and was able to have a conversation without getting distracted by everything else going on around her. I think that it was this woman’s self-confidence and personality that attracted to me most of all. 9735 8/28/08

4. The first thing that I generally notice about a girl is their smile. I really take notice if they have one of those gleaming smiles that brightens up their whole face so they look genuinely happy. I feel that if I can see that they can be genuinely happy, then perhaps they could make me happy as well. If they have a weak smile, then it’s hard to picture them being happy with me. A sense of humor is a very important thing to me. They have to be easy going and light hearted. If they are too serious all the time and can’t laugh, then things can get grim in a relationship.

  1. 4. There are two types of attraction; hook-up attraction and relationship attraction. If I’m just looking to hook up with a girl then physical attractiveness would be the main factor, however if I was looking for a relationship then she’d would have to have a good personality and could be less physically attractive, but still not ugly.
  1. 4. The characteristics of females that have attracted me is hard

to put into words. For one thing, there are many females that exhibit a feminine aura. This is contributed to the way they walk, the way they talk, and their facial expressions. When a woman smiles, and I can't help but smile back, I find that incredibly attractive. I would say physical appearance is a large contributor to my attraction, but personality and intelligence also play a large part. Without the latter two, physical appearance can mean nothing at all.

  1. 4 Of course the physical attractiveness of a person matters a

lot, but there are other very important characteristics as well. How a woman looks at me or talks to me can make them more attractive. If they compliment me or make me feel good, I will most likely remember that person and feel some attraction to them.

  1. 4. The certain characteristics that attract me the most are:

sense of humor, independent, strong-willed, attractive, and the way he is with his family and friends. The most important factor is the way he treats me. A girl can usually tell if a guy is going to treat her well or not by the way he is towards her when they first meet.

  1. 4 The characteristics that most attract me to members of

the opposite sex are physical appearance, a light demeanor, and a smile. Believe it or not, a simple smile can often be more powerful than twenty minutes of conversation.

  1. 4. The characteristics of females that have attracted me is hard

to put into words. For one thing, there are many females that exhibit a feminine aura. This is contributed to the way they walk, the way they talk, and their facial expressions. When a woman smiles, and I can't help but smile back, I find that incredibly attractive. I would say physical appearance is a large contributor to my attraction, but personality and intelligence also play a large part. Without the latter two, physical appearance can mean nothing at all.

  1. 4 At first when I saw this girl I was instantly attracted. The

first I saw was her face and I was very impressed. She was beautiful! Then as I fully looked her over I was hooked. But, what really kept me interested was her personality. She was really interested in me and gave me a lot of attention. I am still with this girl today.

  1. 4. Once I was extraordinarily attracted to a girl who had a

certain look about her. We all have small fashion fetishes that we carry with us and arent necessarily conscious of. This girl matched nearly all of the specifications I had in my mind. She was also a quirky personality and unlike anyone I had ever met. I think I was attracted to the fact that she didnt seem hindered by the statutues of society. She never conformed to a norm or stereotype. It must have been her free-spiritedness that hit me the hardest. She was by no means the most physically attractive person Id ever met but thanks to her quirks she was far and away the most intriguing person Id ever known.

  1. 4 I think I was attracted to his self-confidence, ideas,

openness to talk and share things of his life and of mine, and just his personality in general. It was nice to get to know him and feel like you didn't have to worry about making conversation and that you would never run out of things to talk about. The most important factor that made me attracted to him was his self-confidence and ability to make conversation. I love to talk and get to know someone, so when I find someone who has the same qualities that I have I find them very attractive. I also think that is really rare to find a guy who can be that self-assured and open so that makes the ones you find more appealing as well.

  1. 4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first thing that

attracted me to her was her beautiful face. That is the first thing I look at, the face. Then she had a very nice body which is the second thing I look at. Though, if a girl does not have a good personality than she becomes less attractive to me. I need a girl to be fun, wild, unpredictable. Though, she does need to be beautiful. #4 For me the first attraction is almost always physical. Physical traits like a nice body, pretty face, hair, etc.. But for me to have a true attraction I have to be attracted to some of their personality traits. I think I am attracted to girls that are nice and friendly, funny, and are outgoing and not afraid to share their feelings. These things along with other personality traits are also essential for me to be truly attracted to a girl.

  1. 4 The most attractive thing to me in a girl is her confidence level. I also like a girl

her can show her independence. One instance I can think of is dancing with this one girl. We would be dancing together, and no matter what song was playing, fast or slow, whenever I pushed her out to spin, she would slow down and do the turn at her own pace. Even though it often got us off the rhythm of the song, and the speed at which we were dancing, it showed me that she did things at her own pace. It wasn't insulting to me that she didn't follow my lead, but rather sexy as hell that she would take control and slow things down the way she wanted. That showed her to me to be both confident and independent. No neediness there.

  1. 4. I am definitely attracted to females that are free thinkers and not afraid to say what they are

actually thinking. Physical appearance is big but not everything. I need someone I can actually talk to and who can carry a good conversation.

  1. 4 What attracted me to my ex-girlfriend was mostly her personality. I like shy girls, mostly because I’m kind of a shy person myself. She was also friendly and nice to me, which I also found very attractive. She was not a beautiful girl by regular standards, but to me she was gorgeous. To me, women who are very beautiful and physically attractive are intimidating.

4. What has attracted me to a female in the past has been her looks initially. A healthy athletic figure, smooth skin, and long hair are usually what grabs my eye. Then in talking to her, intelligence, articulation, and strength of character is very important. Moral character is the most important to me.

4. There is always a need to be attractive on some level. Girls always say that it is shallow but how could you be with someone you couldn’t stand to look at? That doesn’t even make sense. I guess that relationship could work if you were always in the dark. The degree of attractiveness doesn’t have to be insane, there just has to be something. If a girl does nothing to take care of herself that is just a huge turn off. Certainly a girl that is friendly is a great appeal because it eliminates the immediate awkwardness. Thinking about a particular situation it started with a smile. Once again it is that initial attraction that is so important. This girl had great self-confidence but that seemed to stem from her being fairly attractive. This girl I could tell took care of herself but did not overdo it. She dressed very casually and didn’t wear too much makeup. It was somewhat refreshing because she seemed very approachable. There is certainly such thing as too hot. It can be intimidating in some settings.

4. Recently I was dating a young woman here on campus. Given the fact that she and I had only dated for about four months, I actually felt a stronger attraction to her than with an individual whom I dated in high school for over three years. Aside from the physical attractiveness, which I did feel towards her, I was more so attracted to her ability to understand me. Unlike the few others who I dated in the past, I did not necessarily have to explain myself to her. She did not judge my faults and strange characteristics, but embraced them and helped me to express them further. Overall, I was very much physically attracted to her, but I was also deeply mentally and emotionally attracted to her. (9852)

4. I have never been more physically attracted to someone in my life; this girl was sweet, sweet poison. She was very curvaceous. Oh, one other myth I should clear up for the ladies: guys do not like skinny girls. Now obviously I do not mean that guys like fat girls, but I mean guys do not like runway models. We like our women full bodied, meat on their bones, with endless curves. That is what this girl had. A big round ass (I am an ass guy so this is key for me), beautiful blue green eyes, dark brown hair. To generalize about this girl and all girls that really get to me, I like baby dolls: very innocent looking yet very sexy, sweet but with a little spice and intoxicatingly adorable. I am attracted to a girl who enjoys being a girl, who likes to look nice and accentuate her beauty. You can think of the type of girl you might find in the 1940’s era, or think Allie from the notebook. In addition to physical characteristics, this girl was assertive and confident, while at the same time passive and in some ways like a little girl, she was intelligent, had a sense of humor, and was very charismatic. She kept me on my toes and gave me a playful chase. The most important factors that attracted me to her were definitely her gorgeous/adorable appearance and her confidence.(7519)

4. The characteristics in the opposite sex that I find attractive are physical appearance, tenderness (not a “tom-boy”), good social skills both with their friends and I, confidence, an air of mystery about them, a sexy voice, and a general sense of amiability. The most important factor that attracted me to her was her physical attractiveness, but after our initial conversations, I realized that her personality was just as stunning. (6321)

4. She had a lot of unique characteristics and every time I see her, she evolves to someone more beautiful and intellectual. Of course some physical appearances but she was different from other girls. She had a place to grow and I wanted to be in her life. Mainly what attracts me most is the preseverence to grow and change (improve) because I am that kind of person. When I can’t get something, I work hard on it until I get it. Let’s be real, I do like nice bodies and great physical appearances, who doesn't?. (0475)

4) The first time, the girl was simply amazing. I was attracted to her the moment I met her, but lacking a certain maturity at that age, I tried to deal with my attraction by tormenting her all middle school. Nothing torturous, but I wasn’t exactly going out of my way to make her day better either. I was first attracted to her because of the way she looked at me when we first met. In that one look I saw strength, heart, beauty, and self-confidence all consumed in a maelstrom of passion. I saw someone who I would be proud to know because their mere inclusion in my existence was enough to brighten it a little. So, while physical attributes don’t really count for all that much when they’re still coming in, I am proud to say that I was attracted to her because of her presence and personality more so than her body, which is good because I knew her until we graduated from high school and I still cannot stop thinking about the awesome shape of her. (8879)

The characteristics that first attracted me to a certain girl were appearance and personalty. I am a person with a type. I like blondes and I like blue eyes. This doesn't necessarily negate a woman who isn't, but it's just something I prefer. When I met this girl I was immediately taken by her bright blue eyes. I began talking with her and noticed she was self confident, which is also key. I like someone who is comfortable with there self. The attraction also intensifies if the interest is reciprocated. (6867)

#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

5. Some strengths of women would be that they are easier to talk to, and they physically beautiful. Some weaknesses would be that they like to over analyze everything and they always in some sort of drama.(9792)

5. One of the greatest strengths of women is their openness and willingness to accept and cooperate even when they may think otherwise. Men’s first instinct when they see something they don’t like is to try and figure out a way to change it to get what they want. Sometimes you can’t get what you want, and women generally seem more comfortable accepting this fact. They are more willing to compromise and often seem more easygoing as relates to their needs. One of the greatest weaknesses of women is their emotionally impulsive behavior. This causes them to be timid and often non-direct and indecisive. There are certain times in life when it is good to let emotion influence behavior. However, other times it is better to utilize problem-solving skills and deal with issues as directly as possible. Girls seem to be incapable to doing this, and instead usually succumb to their immediate emotions. This can complicate the simplest, most trivial situation and can often be the source of unnecessary stress and worry for both males and females. (5792)

5. Weaknesses of the opposite sex include not having a lot of physical strength which may make them vulnerable as well as there being a lot of self-esteem issues (at least in America due to portrayals of these “ideal” women). Their strengths include intuitiveness as well as having a higher lifespan than men.

5. Strengths: Intuition, organization, responsibility, support, dependable. Weaknesses: Lack of body strength, emotional instability, impatience, arrogance, lose abilities during child-bearing.

5. I really admire females’ tendency to be better listeners than males, generally speaking. I myself have trouble being a good listener, so this is something that I especially admire about the opposite sex. I also like how females tend to express their emotions more freely than males for the most part, although this can also sometimes be a weakness. Another weakness that tends to be seen more often in females than males is an obsession with physical appearance and possibly weight issues as well. (5222)

5. The strengths of women are their emotional capabilities. Women understand emotions and can better dissect a given situation better than men. These emotions lead women to be better listeners and more understanding. This is why in many instances women tend to be the better caregivers to children. They can better relate to children and have the patience to deal with children and all their antics. Although emotions can be a woman’s strong point it can also lead to their downfall. Sometimes women let their emotions get the best of them especially when dealing with men. Women let emotions run their decisions and sometimes end up making mistakes that they regret for the rest of their lives. Emotions are good to have but when they lead you astray from where you want to be then it becomes a weakness.

5. Strengths of the opposite sex are their emotions and the way that they often find meaning and enjoyment in some of the most mundane things as long as they feel emotionally secure. A weakness I find along these lines, however, is the stubborn nature through which many of them may argue about their feelings. If I were to try and interpret a girl’s emotions for her I would most likely be dismissed as she would think she is more “in touch” with her emotions, simply because she often feels “emotional,” which is not necessarily the case.

  1. 5. I think women have many strengths. I think they are very good at dealing with issues in their lives when they happen. I think men tend to bottle things up until we are ready to explode sometimes. When a woman sees something wrong, she usually addresses it right away. I also think another strength is that women seem to be able to deal with and accept differences in people. They just seem to be so much more understanding. I also feel like women are better able to multi-task. I know that when I usually work on something I am very focused on that one thing. I think a weakness for women is their emotion regulation. There is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes you don’t need to cry about everything. You have to pick and choose your battles. Another weakness is that women seem to be so submissive to men the majority of the time. I like it when a woman is assertive and aggressive socially and when it comes to her career. 1976

Strengths: easy to talk to, nice to look at, ability to introduce guys to other girls

Weaknesses: PMS, jealousy, very into self-image

A few strengths that females have include great listening skills, willingness to talk about emotions, and a typically caring demeanor. A few weaknesses that females have include high maintenance, mood swings, and indirectness.

Strengths: cuteness, hugabilty, emotional strength, intelligence, ability to nuture

Weaknesses: driving, killing spiders, lack of physical strength and endurance, dishonest attitudes, manipulative behaviors

There strengths are their effective communication skills and they are very good at using their appearance to get things they want, generally from males. They are good caretakers and use their loving spirits to make people feel good. Their networks are also strengths. They have very strong connections with people that they effectively use for support and venting purposes. There weaknesses are that they are really poor drivers, they do not get across what they actually want to say, and sometimes their emotions get the best of them. 5. Strengths of the opposite sex: They tend to be good listeners; they tend to be better in the arts and languages; nurturing to others. Weaknesses of the opposite sex: Over worried, stress out, bossy. (5433)

5.I think the opposite sex is very beautiful, smart and loving. Strengths that males do not necessarily always posses. Females are also open and willing to talk with each other and seem to be better readers of situations them males are at times. I do however believe that females have some weaknesses. They are too judgmental, materialistic and over analytic. I believe females are too quick to judge a situation without hearing about what’s going on. They see something and automatically assume the worst possible scenario. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 5. A major strength of women is that they can get whatever they want. They’ve accumulated an arsenal of tools to accomplish this, whether it is nagging until my ears fall off or flirting until I’m not thinking clear. Either way, women are good at getting what they want. This ties into their biggest weakness, which would be being too dependent on men. Women depend on men for almost everything, which makes sense for why they are so good at getting what they want because otherwise they would be screwed

  1. 5. I believe that females' strength is their ability to exhibit

care and empathy for many other people. This makes them much more approachable and much easier to talk to. I believe females' weakness is that tend to be unwilling to see themselves as equal to other men. Though this weakness can be attributed to societal pressures, many women assert their equalities and strength, but when it comes down to some things, they resort back to the stereotypes of the "weaker" sex.

5. I find women to be very self determined, and I like that. They seem to be a lot more dedicated to what they are doing than men. They can be much more passionate and determined about certain things, and I appreciate that. Weaknesses lie in the fact that, once again, they tend to overanalyze a lot of things. When women look too far into something, this can hinder their ability to think clearly, and they can get hung up on one thing and not be able to get past that. Also, the fact that drama can arise from this (either with the same or opposite sex) can cause a lot of breaks in friendships and/or relationships.

  1. 5 Very similar to my likes and dislikes, I find the strengths of women to be their

caring, affectionate ways. As much as it may confuse me, the way they consider everyone's feelings makes them much closer friends to have. Women prove to be much more supportive in difficult times as well. The weaknesses again are their insecurities. Just as they think about everyone's feelings, they also seem to put too much emphasis on others thoughts. If a negative comment is made on her physical appearance, women often take it way too serious and personnel.

  1. 5. Some strengths of females include the following: They are typically friendly,

compassionate, loving, and resourceful. Some weaknesses are that they can be over dramatic, too needy, and read too much into things.

  1. 5 The strengths of women are but not limited to their patience

with children and overall patience, their size and strength and love of loved ones, and their desire to nurture relationships and people. Some of the weaknesses include a the large amount of women with low self esteem, their vulnerability to be easily attacked physically and emotionally, and their emotional unstability.

  1. 5 I think one of the greatest strengths of the opposite sex is the ability to feel empathy

much more than men do. This is a vital strength to human society because it allows women not only to care for children well, but also to be more receptive and understanding in all areas of life, including business and politics. Some of the weaknesses, however, are that women can sometimes get too caught up in emotions and stray from rational thinking.

  1. 5. One strength of men is the way they don't take things

personally. Another is the way they will try anything. Along those same lines is the way they will try anything to get a girl. The major weakness of men is that they cannot express their emotions. Another weakness is the way they have to be so competitive with other men

  1. 5. I believe that females' strength is their ability to exhibit

care and empathy for many other people. This makes them much more approachable and much easier to talk to. I believe females' weakness is that tend to be unwilling to see themselves as equal to other men. Though this weakness can be attributed to societal pressures, many women assert their equalities and strength, but when it comes down to some things, they resort back to the stereotypes of the "weaker" sex.

  1. 5 Females are usually very sympathetic to problems. They will

listen to you and generally not be too judgmental. They are usually pleasant to look at. Also, they make great companions and friends. They are not good at over coming obstacles. They give up too easy. They need to make more of an effort to over come their weaknesses.

  1. 5. The strength of females is that they are far less

codependent than males. If in a relationship they can be their own person and use be an independent, sentient being. Males are far more likely to constantly be wanting attention from the girl, not to mention sexual favors. A girl can always use a sex embargo over a mans head while he can never do the same. Their weakness lies in their quickness to judge and mistrust their fellow woman. Men are trusting and genuine from the beginning whereas girls are suspicious and skeptical of those around them. They are far more likely to let their emotions get the better of them.

  1. 5. The strengths of girls is that they are very strong willed.

And most girls really stick by there morals which is a good thing. I also think men need women more than women need men because there are more men in the world. The main weakness of girls are that they are an emotional mess. They turn little problems into the biggest deals, then they cry about it. Girls are way to quick to cry, they are emotionally weak. #5 The strengths of women are that they are easy to talk to. They are very beautiful and have sexual power. I can always feel comfortable around girls and there seems to be a deeper level of intimacy. Some weaknesses are first off all of the drama that they have to cause. Every little thing seems to piss a girl off. It may be that they just need to make a big deal out of everything. They need to live dramatic lives.

  1. 5 I think a big part of women’s strength is their empathy and ability to care. Also, another big strength of women is the ability to multitask. When a woman wants to get things done, they get done. Their weakness, however, is in their emotions. They are more perceptible to letting their emotions getting the best of them.

5. I believe females’ emotions are both a strength and a weakness. They allow them a fuller range of experience but can be a downfall if they let their emotions control them, as they often do.

5a. Strengths: Girls can get away with a lot more. People in general are more forgiving of girls. I honestly feel that people are even more forgiving of attractive girls. They pretty much have a license to do whatever they want. 5b. Weaknesses: It seems that successful girls that are attractive are not taken as seriously by anyone. A feeling that they are only in their position because of their beauty seems to be the general consensus. She could be the best a what she does and it wouldn’t matter. This seems to be the balancing factor in whether or not it is better to be attractive or not.

5. Women, at least the ones I do know and have known, have made clear to me that their sex has its equal share of strengths and weaknesses, which I find quite nice as it allows for a give and take relationship between the sexes. For instance, I find that women show strengths in creativity, emotional expression, caring for others, making their opinions expressed, and understanding complex situations. At the same time, although I find it hard to consider these “weaknesses”, I have found that emotional expressiveness can sometimes lead to emotional vulnerability. At the same time, being able to think critically about a situation is useful, but as stated earlier, may lead to inappropriate conclusions simply from over-thinking the situation as a whole or in parts. (9852)

5. Women have many strengths: they often control relationships, they are more relationship-centered, in turn making them more social, they make better managers, they are more domestically-inclined, they are more peaceful, they do not have to go to war, and they are often better at communication skills in general. They also have weaknesses: they are often insecure, have bad navigational skills, tend to overanalyze issues, pregnancy affects many areas of their lives, and are usually physically weaker than men. (6321)

5. Definitely, the strengths of women would be to give birth to a child, I heard from someone that it feels as if a watermelon is coming out of your private spot. Another strength would be women weigh a more deeper meaning of commitment, love, and passion. We are nothing without women, women are our supporters. They will care and love us and that would be a motivation to live through life. Also when women discover a problem, they will address it right away because they want to know the truth as soon as possible. Where as men want to wait and become a little too lazy. I would say women have the strength to push us to become assertive, responsible people. The weakness of a women would be trying to complicate a simple idea and they are overly sensitive. (0475)

5) A major strength of females is that they are smarter than males. A majority of the females I know have done well in school and have gone on to college, compared to the relatively lesser number of males pursuing a college education.

A weakness of the female sex is their increased awareness of their emotional state. Emotions are the soul’s response to environmental stimuli, but being too emotional is vulnerability. Females are more driven by their emotions and make more decisions with a greater concern for emotions rather than logic comparatively. (8879)

5. A strength in woman is there ability to openly care and show emotions. I feel like this can also be a weakness because sometimes these cares and emotions can over ride their ability to think clearly and rationally. I know that I have been in many fights where even I was swayed by intense emotions and had to step back and say lets calm down and talk about this calmly without getting worked up. (6867)

#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

6. There has been an instance or two where a female had been treated poorly by males most of her life and because of that treated me as though I was going to be the same way. (5433)

6. There are several instances where I’ve felt unfairly treated by a girl. Speaking from a guy’s perspective, there are very few girls that I have truly opened up to. The worst part about this is that once you become vulnerable, it gives the girl power. By opening up you give them the ability to unnecessarily toy with your emotions. In addition, girls have a thing about timing. Girls always pick the busiest, most stressful moments to create unnecessary drama. They decide to have an emotional crisis right when you have no time to pay attention to them. Next, you end up in the doghouse because they think you don’t care about them because you were off dealing with other significant things. The times I have felt most unfairly treated are when girls have tried to bring themselves down and take me with them. It is almost as if they are testing you to see how much you care, yet they always choose the most inopportune moments. Once you have an emotional connection to a girl, suddenly everything becomes your problem. In these situations girls with often engage in self-destructive behavior to try and get you to step in and act like you care. However, most of the time all you can do is sit and watch because there is no reasonable thing you can say to get them to stop. (5792).

6. I was once dating a girl but she was also still seeing her ex without ever telling me or ever planning on telling me.(9792)

6. Okay, so this one time I was staring blankly in a general direction just thinking to myself and this girl walks by and looks at me “looking” at her (in reality, she just got in my vision of sight) and makes this disgusted face at me as though I’m like this dog kind of guy slobbering all over her. Noticing her expression, I say “Hey, don’t flatter yourself, I spaced off and you walked into my sight, get over yourself.” It was pretty funny.

6. I can’t think of anything in particular, but I know that females have “talked crap” on me behind my back before, without me doing anything to provoke it. (5222)

6. An instance where I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex was in the instance of babysitting. A neighbor of mine when I was a teenager needed a babysitter for the night for her young daughter and when her sitter cancelled suddenly she had no options. She was talking to my mom in the front yard and when my mom suggested that I take over the sitter duties my neighbor would not even hear of it. She felt that it was inappropriate for a teenage boy to watch her baby daughter. In her mind men weren’t caring enough and didn’t have the nurturing skills that women possessed.

6. Lets just say that during nearly my entire last relationship, I felt treated unfairly by the opposite sex. She was the queen of what you call mixed signals. Additionally, her words would differ greatly from her behaviors. She had two different personalities, one who was sweet, affectionate, adorable and intimate and another that was closed out, manipulative, and ignoring. I was ecstatic when I was with the first girl, but amidst other people and daytime activities that girl would disappear and I’d be left wondering where she went and who this new person was. Say what you mean, mean what you say and act accordingly! (7519)

6. I was blamed for her not having a good time even though the outcome was completely out of my control.

6. I feel that girls are very quick to judge someone based only upon their appearance. 9171.

6. Often because I am male, women assume that there are underlying meanings and intentions behind our interactions. For example, if I talk to a girl that means I want sex from her. If I make a certain comment, girls may take it to mean I think I am superior to them.

  1. 6. Yes, when I had women as roommates one of them use to come home every weekend after a night of drinking and cry at my bedroom door. Usually because of what some guy would do to her or something. I was sympathetic the first couple of times, but eventually it really irritated me and I became rude about it. She thought I was being unfair, but I thought she was. 1976

When I was in high school, I was on the way to an old girl friend’s house on Valentines Day with some takeout food. It turned out she had made other plans for that night and she had already ate food. A couple days later she had a new boyfriend…

I was once in a situation where I was attracted to a girl, and it seemed that she reciprocated the attraction. Then out of nowhere, everything just stopped. The phone calls, seeing each others, etc. There was never an explanation, just an immediate end. Never heard from her since.

Ditto to the guy above, it happens all the time. I've been in a room before with my "girlfriend" and her other boyfriend, and have her still manage to not decide between us, continue to string us both along, and and then finally go with a completely different guy in the end, without seeing her ever display an ounce of empathy for anyone involved. yeah.

I cannot describe a specific instance, but a friend and I were just talking about how some girls assume that you like them or want to get in their pants just because you talk to them. Sometimes we just want to be friendly and have an innocent conversation. Sometimes when they have made this assumption, they treat you differently and may have “get away from me” attitude.

  1. 6. No specific instance comes to mind but I can imagine a situation in which a man is not allowed to do something or is unfairly judged because of gender stereotypes.

6. Often in a relationship, I feel the man can get mistreated fairly often. This, I feel, comes from an irrationality on the woman’s part. When an argument ever came up in a relationship of mine, the female was never ever wrong. In a recent relationship, I can only think of about two times out of the thousand or so fights that we had where she apologized first. Otherwise, I had to be the one to admit that what I did was wrong first in order to fix the situation. If I did not, then the fight would last for as long as I did not apologize.

  1. 6. I can't say it's unfair that women reject me for my physical

appearance, cause I treat them exactly the same way. I suppose that's generally the thing for which I am most treated and rejected for.

  1. 6 This one time I was really interested in this girl and we were

talking on a regular basis. I asked her out and she said no because she had had a bad experience with another guy recently and refused to go out again until she got her confidence back in a man. I could not believe that I was being turned down because of the way another person treated her.

  1. 6. I have been treated unfairly at places that I have worked

because of being a girl. I have seen men be promoted before me because the managers were men and they promoted men before me even though our work ethic was equal. Another instance where I was treated unfairly was because I play a mostly male dominated sport. When I go and play with men they don't think I will have the ability to play with them so I just play my best and usually beat them anyways so it all works out in the end.

  1. 6. I can't say it's unfair that women reject me for my physical

appearance, cause I treat them exactly the same way. I suppose that's generally the thing for which I am most treated and rejected for.

  1. 6 Though I typically do not complain, I have definitely had the experience

of my mom giving me the task to mow the lawn in ninety degree heat while my sister is forced to stay inside and bake cookies. I think that much of this assignment has to do with our gender, though that my sister is a much better cook may be an influential factor.

  1. 6 I can think of several times when girls treated me as an insensitive male, thinking

I just wouldn't understand whatever problem they are having. They seem to categorize all males as incapable of helping deal with emotional problems. True, I may not be the best man for the job, but I do try, and especially would try for a girl I care about, to be attentive and helpful in all situations.

  1. 6. I cannot really remember a time that I was treated unfairly by a member of the opposite sex.

When I am sitting in a classroom full of all women, which is often the case her at LMU, I feel like I am not given a fair chance. I feel like I am judged to be less intelligent because I am a male in a female dominated subject. It’s assumed that I don’t know much about relationships and communication, but I feel that is completely wrong. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 6 I feel many females are very quick to just. When I first

started high school I received a bad reputation from some girls. I made some comment about how bad our girl's basketball team was and the jumped all over me. They hated me for that. For a long time a lot of girls had a problem with me. I had to try very hard to live that one statement down.

  1. 6. I was once dumped by a girlfriend for being "too nice". She

commented that she needed a guy who was more of an asshole to her sometimes. This gave me great pause seeing as women always comment on how big of jerks most guys are and this girl wanted me to be moreso. Upon hearing this comment from her over the phone I quickly hung up on her in mid- sentence. When she called me back, livid and wanting an explanation I told her that I had taken her comment as a suggestion to be a jerk. She dismissed this as having no bearing on what she was talking about. But I found her stance to be completely unfair as well as in utter defiance of everything ones mother teaches him when he is very young.

  1. 6. When I was working at Albertsons, my manager was a woman, and

she hated guys. The men at my work, me included where always given the hard jobs, while the girls did no work, and they where always getting promoted. I feel I was very unfairly treated. #6 One girl I think treated me unfairly when she lead me on to believe that she liked me and wanted a relationship when in reality she just wanted to be friends. But she never told me that and her actions lead me to think that she wanted more than a friendship. I liked her for a long time and I never quite knew where I stood in the relationship. I never could quite tell what she wanted even though it was quite obvious what I wanted.

  1. 6 The only thing I can think of is way back in middle school. It was in drama class. We were preparing for a play, so the teacher split us up into groups. There were four of us in the Props group: myself, three other guys, and one girl. The girl was of no help. All she wanted to do was talk with her friend, so the rest of us did most of the work. When it came time to evaluate our group partners, I gave the two other guys an A, but gave the girl a C- (I later found out that was the best grade given to her in the group). She saw my paper, which she wasn’t supposed to in the first place because the evaluations were confidential, and got angry at me, even though everyone else in the group graded her harshly too. I never heard the end of it. She ridiculed me every chance she got.

6. I have been treated poorly by the opposite sex when they have lead me on and encouraged my perusing of them because they like the attention, but have had no intention of responding.

6. The instances that come to mind are the ones in which their is a situation where something needed to be fixed and I was supposed to fix it because I was the guy. I can hold my own with electronics and small things but when it comes to cars etc. I couldn’t even change a tire. It is funny to me how girls preach equality and still expect guys to have inherent skills in these fields. I know nothing about cars but in that situation I would still be called upon to fix it. I can think of a second brief situation with regards to dating. Girls once again would love to be held in equality but then most expect guys to pay for everything and hold their door etc. That once again defies logic. Girls seem to neglect the benefits of their social situation and tend to focus on all the negatives.

6. I honestly cannot think of a situation where I was unfairly treated by a female. From what I can recall through out life, every situation in which a female has expressed anger or the feeling of being let down, I actually had directly caused that situation and feeling. (9852)

6. I have been treated unfairly by a member of the opposite sex many times. For instance, many times women will place judgment upon me before our introduction. They have an idea of the kind of guy I am before meeting me, and have typical male stereotypes they apply. Their generalizations are definitely noticed through the way they interact with me. Women often tend to hear stories about men through their friends and judge that person before actually meeting him. Then after the introduction, women will say “Wow, you’re pretty different than what I imagined…” (6321)

6. The fact that we give in to women in the long run. I would say that is kind of unfair. There was one incident when my school teacher was a full fledge feminist and she does not favor men. Therefore, she would give a hard time to us and I thought that was completely unfair because she would not give a chance to accept men. I don’t know what happened with her that made her become a feminist but I do know that she needs to open up her senses that women are not the only ones who are living in this world. (0475)

6) Once, when I was working at a Starbucks kiosk, I had a customer think that just because I was a male I was incapable of multitasking. She made me wait until each drink was finished being made before ordering the next, thinking that I could only concentrate on one thing at a time simple because of my handicapped gender! It really ground my gears. (8879)

6. Personally I have been frustrated when I shared with a person of the opposite sex things that I hadn't shared with anyone. There is a certain sense of vulnerability and once this girl knew how I really felt about her she walked all over me. It's like they think once you say I love you they can do whatever they want and go wherever they want and expect you to be waiting and willing to pick up the pieces when they finish doing what they want. (6867)

#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

7. Just in flirting situations. (5433)

7. There are also several times where I have been treated very well by girls. One instance that particularly comes to mind was when I was really sick. I had girls calling me constantly to check up on me and ask me if I needed anything. I’m not the type of guy that likes other people doing things for him. However, when you are sick sometimes you don’t have a choice. Being sick makes you vulnerable and girls are first to respond to vulnerability. I wouldn’t have survived that instance if it wasn’t for the support from all the girls in my life. (5792).

7. I was with my cousin at his dorm and a few girls knocked on his door to ask us to help them move some furniture around for them. We agreed to help and when I saw the heavy couch and beds they wanted us to move for them I can see why they asked us and not the other girls that were in the room with us. They ended up cooking my cousin and I dinner, and even invited us to a party they were going to later on that night.(9792)

7. There have been many times when I’ve hung out over my friends house, who happens to be a Muslim Fijian. So I would go have dinner at his house and his mom would always be embarrassed because she didn’t know I was coming and was afraid there wouldn’t be enough food so she would start making more even though I told her it was really not necessary. It was funny because she would do this even when there was enough food to feed probably twice the amount of people at the table. It was interesting to see how different women may be in other cultures. The women in my friends family were always so traditional and displayed extreme humility and caretaking qualities in the presence of males.

7. Yes, I have met girls who seemed to be overly friendly to me and other males, but seemed to show a slight disdain for other females. This may have been out of jealousy, or possibly it was just flirting. (5222)

  1. 7. I can’t think of any time that this has happened. 9171

7. One of my best friends is a girl and she was always there for me. She was the best listener in my life (aside from my mom) and was always very compassionate. I can open up to girls and trust them a lot easier than I can guys. I also find it easier to have conversations with girls. I guess they are just naturally more social beings. (7519)

7. No.

7. An instance where I was treated well by the opposite sex has been at the end of every school year. This is the time of year where everyone is moving out of dorms or apartments and needs help moving the heavy things or taking apart furniture, etc. Whenever the end of the year approaches I can always count on all my girlfriends to be super nice to me. I know they need help and I know they are going to ask me for help. I have no problem doing it and would gladly do it for any of my girlfriends but it seems that females that I don’t really know that well seem to be nice to me in an effort to get me to offer to help them with their moving and lifting of heavy things. Women I think tend to see the moving and lifting of heavy objects as a duty of a man. It’s a job fit for a man and women should not be doing it. I tend to agree but some things a woman needs to do on her own.

7. I am treated extremely well simply whenever they happen to be in a good mood and I pay attention to every single little thing they say, or make myself feign interest.

  1. 7. I do find quite regularly that women come up and introduce themselves to me. They are very open and are usually willing to start some sort of a friendship. I find that happens less regularly with men. 1976

I find that some girls are especially nice to me for no reason at all. (The sucking up will usually end when the girls find out I have a girlfriend).

There was a situation where a girl was receptive to all of my advances—not that they were creepy or anything. But she seemingly liked what I had to say, and I actually cared for what she had to say. There was instant rapport. And things went pretty smooth from there on out. Could have been the cologne?

Never, just for being a guy. Women get special treatment all the time just for looking pretty. For a guy, we get special treatment based on our actions and accomplishments. So in that regards, yes, but who wouldn't give special attention to the dead-sexy lead singer/bassist of the greatest band that ever lived?

If a girl wants something, it is easy for them to get. They just have to look pretty and smile. So I’m sure I have treated very positively simply because they are trying to get something they want, and it probably worked.

  1. 7. No situation really comes to mind for this one either. Girls are usually the ones who get special treatment when going places; guys kind of have to fight it out and go after what they want.

  1. 7. I have been treated well, especially by female friends, when

women realize that I have much more to offer than many other men particularly in terms of intelligence and personality.

  1. 7 I knew a girl once who seemed to like me, but not specifically

in a physical way. However, she was always interested in what I had to say about my day or weekend and she would sit next to me and hug me and tell me she liked the way I smelled. I do no think she would be treating me like that if I were a girl.

  1. 7. I have been treated particularly well because of being a

female also at work. I worked at a high-class restaurant only as a host but I think that I was hired over males just because of my gender. I think because the restaurant wanted to have a certain image or maybe they just really liked me.

  1. 7 One time while visiting the movie theater concession stand I

was given some free popcorn and much friendlier service than the other customers in line presumably because of my gender. I simply started a conversation with the employee and she was more friendly to me than she was to the other customers.

  1. 7. I have been treated well, especially by female friends, when

women realize that I have much more to offer than many other men particularly in terms of intelligence and personality.

  1. 7 I really can't think of a time.
  1. 7 I can only think of instances in which a girl is insecure and is searching for

acceptance from a male to make her feel better about herself. Those are the types of girls that will do anything to feel accepted, and if they can get attention from guys, they think that makes them a better person.

  1. 7. Once I was treated extremely well by a girl insofar as there

were romantic interludes. But part of me still believes it was due in part to the lack of other males in this environment. This was at a summer camp in which the amount of males of compromising ages was scarce. So this girl singled me out as a representation of maleness in the face of scarcity. It was fun to get as much attention as I did, but I just couldnt help thinking that her intention werent necessarily grounded in any great interest in me as a person.

  1. 7 Maybe there have been instances where I have been treated

better when I was around girls if there weren't many other guys around. But other then that situation I can't really think of a very good example right now.

  1. 7 I can’t really think of any instances that I was treated well just because I was a guy, or just because she was a girl. All I know is, I treat my female friends well, and they treat me well also.

I can recall moments where the opposite sex treated me very well because I was a man and the stereotypes that are associated with being a male. They needed help building things and lifting heavy pieces of furniture, so they treated me very nice, flirted with me and even baked me cookies in the hope that I would help them with the things they needed done. Kind of like their little handy man one could say. Of course I assisted them, but I personally believe they were so nice was because they needed help and thought that I was best qualified. 9735 8/28/08

7. Because I am a guy I am often treated well by females because they want my attention or my approval.

7. In a relationship, girls tend to be very nurturing. They show a very motherly type of love towards the man and take care of you much more than any sort of male friend would. I’ve experienced a lot of affection from girls when I was ill, and this made me feel cared for. Men on the other hand would often tell me “hope you feel better,” and that was the end of it.

7. I have been allowed more luxuries than my sister with regards to my early freedom. I have been allowed to go places alone where my sister could not because I was a boy and not a girl. My parents pretty much just reinforce ideas that most people have that boys are less in danger in public alone then girls. I think boys are just less of a target at a young age. I am pretty sure that as teen I still could have easily been beat up.

7. I can actually think of an instance when a female has treated me particularly well, even when I was not deserving of it. The first and only time I made the mistake of cheating in high school on my girlfriend, I decided to confess the truth and clear the record. While she and I did in fact break up over the situation, as seems logical, she did not hold any hostility or anger for me in excessive amount. I’d like to think that her ability to forgive me for that mistake is the reason why I am now able to forgive those individuals whom I date that hurt me. (9852)

7. The one example I can think of is when a woman is in distress. When a woman is hurt or feels scared, she automatically assumes a man is stronger than her and can protect her, which makes men feel good. This is a positive reassurance a woman gives a man that he is strong and can take care of her. Even though she may know nothing about him, she still assumes his superior physical strength. Another example is when they want to discuss an issue and purposely talk to you because of your male viewpoints and outlook. By being male, she associates many positive characteristics such as being simple and easy to talk to. (6321)

7. Not that I can think of incidents on the top of my head but I do know that when you first meet an opposite sex they are very friendly and open. There was actually one time when this girl who was selling boba and she treated me a free drink. Part of it was because she liked me and she even knew my order! Wow, that makes me happy for some reason (0475)

7) No, I can’t recall an instance of being treated well based exclusively on my gender. If not treated poorly the treatment simply ‘was’, to be honest, while receiving negatively biased treatment happens, I have sincere difficulty imagining positively biased treatment based simply on gender. (8879)

7. Yeah, girls will treat you well when they find out you have money or power or something you can offer them. (6867)

#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

8. There was this girl in junior high that I was really attracted to and we had developed a good relationship talking over AIM. It was more my fear of being rejected that really kept her from actually rejecting me, but she really didn’t give me the time of day when we weren’t alone talking online/or in person when a certain group of her friends were around. I think it was kind of rude that she would talk to me sometimes and not others. She also asked for my friends number and they went out for a little while. (5433)

8. There have been several times in which I have been rejected by a girl who I have been attracted to. The worst type of rejection I have experienced is from the girls who know me most intimately. These are the girls who I’ve shared my deep thoughts and emotions with. It’s hard to fathom someone caring so deeply about you one moment and completely disregarding you in the next. Rejection by nature is often inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive. However, sometimes there is no other way to get the point across. Rejection is something you must learn to deal with because it happens in every relationship, especially with the ones you are most attracted to. The worst is when rejection catches you by surprise and leaves you with something to be desired. (5792)

8.I remember asking a girl to dance one night at a party. She just told me that she already had her dance partner and pointed at her friend dancing a few feet away. She wasn't rude about it, but I felt pretty dumb the rest of the night. I also felt like a failure. I used to hate the feeling of rejection when it came to members of the opposite sex, but now that Im older its not so bad.(9792)

8. I remember I met this girl in class and we talked and would hang out after class and grab lunch or something. After a while, I considered asking her out but hadn’t made any kind of move or anything. I guess she maybe sensed this after a while and subtly brought up her boyfriend of year. It was cool though, she was nice and everything about it, it was just kind of weird how she had never mentioned him before. We’re still friends, so it’s cool.

8. I have been rejected by girls, and only once was I treated rudely. It made me feel stupid, but I didn’t care that much. All of the other times, they have been polite and considerate about it, but naturally I still felt pretty crappy about it. (5222)

8. An instance when I was rejected the woman was never mean but she lead me on. I would call to hang out or ask her to dinner and every time she had the same story; I’m busy with school or I can’t tonight. After a while I got the hint but in this instance sometimes being mean would have been better. I understand that no one wants to be mean to another person but leading someone on when you know you’re not attracted to them is sometimes worse. I have known women that would go out with a guy they don’t like simply for the free meal or the free movie or free whatever. This may seem to be nice on the outside because you’re not totally rejecting the guy but in many cases this leads to worse things down the road. In the end I felt completely inadequate. I felt depressed and like no other girl would ever find me attractive or enjoy my company. Being rejected really makes you feel bad inside.

I was extremely attracted to a girl early in high school and we dated for awhile, but in the end she said she didn’t want a relationship because she would not be the kind of girlfriend that I apparently deserved and it wouldn’t be “fair to me.” I don’t think it was necessarily rude or insensitive by choice, I think she had previous boyfriends that may have treated her badly and injured her self-esteem. She might have given it a try and not sold herself short, because along her line of thinking it could only end in my “suffering” which I already voiced I was willing to chance.

8. I was with this girl for quite a long time and it had been a roller coaster of a relationship; I was really just waiting for the car to fall off the tracks. It finally did. I had not seen her in 3 weeks because of Christmas break. I liked her a lot and therefore missed her. I thought she felt the same way. She finally flys back to LA, and first of all does not even ask me to pick her up. I call her to see if she arrived so I can see her. She had arrived and I eagerly ask her what she was doing, hoping she was on her way to come say hello. “Oh I am unpacking, I have to pick up my friend from the airport and then…” she said. I was eagerly anticipating something like, “and then…I’m going to come over there and pounce on you!” Instead I got, “and then….I’m going to go drink with some friends” and as an all-but-forgotten-side-note, “….oh yeah, but you are more than welcome to come along.” Hopes dashed on rocks. Long story short, it was the straw of many straws where I was placed way down on the list of priorities that broke the camel’s back. Something was wrong; we were obviously on two very different levels in our affections for one another. For this particular event she could have been more considerate by showing her enthusiasm to see me and reassuring me that we would get time to see each other or by not dragging me along (in the relationship). I felt rejected and forgotten.(7519)

8. I was once rejected by a girl who led me to believe that she was interested, only to get with another guy and start ignoring me. Her behavior was inappropriate because she gave me every reason to believe she was interested, including having her friends tell me she was. It would have been more understandable if she at least spoke to me about why she rejected me and chose another guy.

  1. 8. I am gay, I have never been rejected by a member of the opposite sex. 1976
  1. 8. I was trying to start a conversation with a girl and she simply gave me short or no answer to my questions. This was very rude behavior, and could have easily been handled better if she were simply polite enough to take some time and talk. It made me feel rather insignificant. 9171.

Expanding on the Valentine’s Day experience, I feel like the girl’s behavior was bother rude, insensitive, and inconsiderate. (I must admit that were rarely spoke on the phone and I knew it was going to end soon, however, the way she handled the breakup was not very nice.) She did not care that I took the time to bring her food and spend the evening with her. It made me feel like I was unwanted. (I will also admit that I was slightly excited that I did not have to be the one to break up with her.)

When I was rejected by a girl, she gave me the total cold shoulder. Their behavior was more inconsiderate than anything else, I much would have rather had her say, “You’re creeping me out” or “That’s sexual harassment in 48 states” or whatever. It made me feel awkward. I didn’t know I did anything to warrant that type of response.

I actually recently, for the first time in God only knows how long, was turned down by a girl in the sweetest manner possible. Things had been moving along slowly, but surely, and although their was a lot of flirting going on, I was not quite sure what our stance was. So one night, dropping her off from our date, laying on the charm pretty thick, I leaned in for a kiss. As sweet as can be, she kissed me on the cheek, held me close, and said straight up that she just didn't think of me that way. No tension. No awkwardness. Just honesty and compassion. And we are even better friends today because of that continued honesty and openness on both our parts.

I actually never approach a girl or try to do anything unless I’m positive they are interest just because of that reason. I don’t want to know how it feels to be rejected. But I can imagine it does not feel very good.

  1. 8. A couple years ago I was at a house party. My friend (a girl) and I had been drinking, dancing, and chatting the whole night. I say this girl was my friend, but I don’t mean that I was stuck in the friend zone, I was in the right situation to make a move. Unfortunately, this girl had been seeing this other guy for a couple weeks and I didn’t’ know about it. When I went in for the kiss she turned away and said that she couldn’t do it because she liked this other guy. At first I assumed this was B.S. and thought she just wasn’t into it. However, the other guy and her eventually started dating so I realized she was serious. I didn’t think that she was rude about it, it was straightforward.

8. I took a girl out on a date once. She agreed to it, knowing full well that it was a date. At the end of the night, I guess she wasn’t really feeling the same way that I was, and she told me that “we should just be friends.” She was very nice and probably a little embarrassed by the whole situation, or by the fact that she couldn’t bring herself to feel the same way, and it showed in her actions. She was very considerate about this, to make me feel as unawkward as possible. I think that this was the best situation that could have occurred, other than her not rejecting me.

  1. 8. When members of the opposite sex chose to reject me, they did

it in a rather kind manner. Because I have generally approached a friend, they have generally put it in the nicest way possible. Though I was primarily hurt by the rejection, because I had never really set myself up for anything other than some fun, I got over it quickly. There is really no way in which they might have been able to reject me in a more considerate way.

  1. 8 I really wanted to go to a dance with this girl I knew and we

were pretty good friends so I thought I had a pretty good chance. However, she already had a date to the event so I was turned down. She did it very well in terms of being polite and thankful for the proposal. The only problem with the situation was that she did not talk to me for a week or so after because she felt uncomfortable around me.

  1. 8 I can think of an instance in which the girl would simply ignore my calls. Of

course her behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive, but to make the point that she was trying to get across, I think her behavior was relatively acceptable. It made me feel frustrated and confused. I suppose I could have used verbal confirmation that she in fact wanted nothing to do with me, as harsh as that might have been. Her point would have been made clear if she had simply given me more body language that she was not interested in me when we saw each other in person. Even though she did not return my calls, when we ran into each other every few days, she would still be extremely friendly and seemingly flirtatious with me. That was confusing.

I was rejected by someone of the opposite sex once that I had been hanging out with for quite a while. She had heard things about me from another female who had liked me but didn’t take the time to bother asking me if it was true. They made me feel like I was smaller then an ant with their verbal abuse. I think their behavior was rude, inconsiderate and insensitive. I felt like this woman that I had hung out with numerous times prior to this occurrence, jumped the gun and judged me off the basis of hearsay. She should have approached me and asked me if it was true instead of belittling me to the point of disbelief that I had been hanging out with this person for the past month. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 8. I can remember several times that I was rejected by a female. It happens simply over a

conversation. I will start a conversation or say hello and the female would just look away or not respond to anything I say. It would be a little more considerate simply to say that they were not in the mood or something along those lines.

  1. 8 I once asked a girl if she wanted to dance at a party and she responded with a

simple “no thank you.” Though it was not the response I was hoping for, it was rather considerate of her to be up front rather than giving me false hope. It obviously did not feel great, but I was by no means heart broken.

  1. 8. Being rejected really sucks. It makes you feel like no one

wants you or that something is wrong with you whether it be physically or mentally. I Have been rejected in different ways. There is the flat out rejection "You are not pretty. Why would I want you?" or there is just the "maybe if I ignore them they will just go away". Both have happened to me. I think if a guy is just not interested he could consider the girls feelings and just say "no I'm not really interested but you are cool we could be friends" or something like that. I have seen guys reject girls in front of their friends just to look macho or cool in front of the guys. This is very unattractive for any girl who might be watching the situation.

  1. 8. When members of the opposite sex chose to reject me, they did

it in a rather kind manner. Because I have generally approached a friend, they have generally put it in the nicest way possible. Though I was primarily hurt by the rejection, because I had never really set myself up for anything other than some fun, I got over it quickly. There is really no way in which they might have been able to reject me in a more considerate way.

  1. 8 When I was in high school I had a crush on a certain girl. I

thought she like me back also. I waited a few weeks before I asked her out. I decided to ask her to a dance. I was pretty positive she would say yes. When I finally asked her I found out she was already going with another guy. He had asked her out the day before. She was nice about it, but it really confused and hurt me.

  1. 9 First I would take her to a nice restaurant and give her a

chance to get all fixed up and looking good. I would do my best to be funny and charming during the dinner. I would want her to feel very comfortable with me. After dinner I would take her somewhere romantic, like the beach or a scenic place. I would keep her warm and hold her. Then before she got too tired and relaxed I would take her back to my place.

  1. 8. I was once rejected by a girl that I was infatuated with for

2 reasons: Because I was too old for her and because she had heard some bad rumors about my past. Ill probably never know which one turned her off more but it wouldnt make a difference about how much it hurt me. Up to that point in my life I had never met anyone who I was as infatuated with as her. And the sting of rejection was made all the more painful when I thought that the sins of my past were coming back to haunt me all because of some juvenile incompetance. The way she rejected me wasnt so much inconsiderate as it was just very awkward. She basically stopped calling me and I had to coax a declaration of "rejection" from her to give myself peace of mind. Not a pleasant experience.

  1. 8. I remember about four months ago, I was in Laughlin at a

club. I had been staring at this girl all night. She was so beautiful and had a great body. I went up and asked her to dance. She did not even reply, she just walked over to this other girl and made out with her in front of me. If I am going to get rejected, that is the way I want to get rejected. #8 Their behavior was actually really too nice. Maybe it would have helped if they were in fact a little more rude. Although initially rude it would have been less inconsiderate in the long run. Because then I would have truly understood that she didn't like me and it would have given me the ability to get over her.

- I feel like guys are rejected a lot more than girls... probably because they are usually the ones to put themselves out there in the first place. #7452

  1. 8 All of my rejections have been in a considerate manner. It didn’t hurt any less, but at least they let me down easy. The “worst” rejection that I had was over the phone. I asked her if she wanted to have lunch sometime. She replied that she was busy, and also added that she didn’t want to lead me on and that she wasn’t interested in dating me. It turns out she was waiting for my roommate to ask her out, but that’s a different story.

8. Like many others, a girl has rejected me. My first girlfriend broke up with me because she no longer had feelings for me. She was polite about it and certainly did not take any joy in the act, but it left me in much pain because of my strong feelings for her. I don’t think they could of done it in a more considerate way, but no matter how you slice it, it sucks.

8. The one instance I can think of was from a friend and it was pretty blunt. A sort of “Sorry, but no” scenario. I think it was effective though because it left no “What if?” in my mind and I was able to just move on. I am pretty relaxed though and I feel maybe some people might not have taken this so well. There is certainly a fine line between being too mean and too nice. If a person is too nice in saying no then the message may not be received by the other party. If they are too mean their may be hard feelings and sense of insecurity placed on the other party.

8. I recall one instance where I was rejected by the opposite sex. I would have to say that there was no inconsiderate, rude, or insensitive rejection involved. Rather than stating or acting in a manner of disapproval, she simply did not reciprocate the actions and feelings I was expressing, which I picked up upon and realized that she was in fact not interested. I felt sad at the time, but I did not feel directly hurt by her actions, as I realize that not everyone I am attracted to will be attracted to me in return.(9852)

8. In high school, I really liked this girl. I went out of my way to spend time with her all the time and tried to treat her differently than I did other girls. When I told her that I liked her, she rejected me while she cried over her confusion. Surprisingly, her demeanor was not rude at all, and she actually let me play the victim. She was receptive to what I had to say and made me feel more at peace after the conversation. Even though she dated another guy, I was not bent out of shape all that much, even though it initially hurt. To be more considerate, she may have not gone out with the other guy as quickly. (6321)

8. I think they rejected me fairly well, not very inconsiderate. She just told me flat out that she liked another guy. Usually I don’t ask until I know it’s certain she likes me so most of the time it’s 90 percent accuracy that rejection would not happen… (0475)

8) Any kind of rejection hurts when it is from someone you are attracted to you, because it is a sign that the attraction you feel is not mutual. I finally mustered the courage to ask a girl in high school, who then promptly shot me down citing her parents’ rules forbidding her to date until she= was eighteen. Being rude? That’s just rubbing salt in a raw wound if the person is being rude on top of rejection, but being considerate is even more laughable. I personally don’t believe there is a considerate way to have rejection dealt to you. It takes a lot of courage and conviction as well as a kind of recklessness to confess your feelings for another, and when you are rejected you are dejected. You can choose to learn from it, you can ignore it, but you cannot not be hurt by it. Less hurtful methods of rejection do exist, but the notion that a rejection can be pleasant is a complete fallacy. (8879)

8. I have been rejected and it was frustrating because I got the "lets just be friends excuse". I think that this was unfair because I felt like I was an emotional "crutch" they could rely on but didn't want the commitment or physical relationship. (6867)

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

9. Wait for the right moment and initiate the first kiss as quickly as possible. Timing is everything with respect to how a girl comes to see you. If you end up in the friend category, it is often very hard to get out. The key to this is speed. You want to initiate physical contact before the girl even has an opportunity to consider you a friend. As soon as the moment presents itself you must seize it. (5792)

  1. 9. I would first start off by crossing some harmless physical boundaries such as a hand on the hip or shoulder. This would hopefully make them feel more comfortable with me, causing them to maybe make a move of their own or simply be more accepting of my advances. 9171.

9. I would say that if the date were going well at that point I would try to kiss her. I think a good way to feel out the other person is eye contact and see if they are giving out any signs that they wouldn’t mind being kissed. And then I would just go for it. (5433)

9. I would first start out by trying to hold her hand at some time during the date. If she takes my hand then I would try kissing her goodnight. If that goes well then maybe on the next date I would try kissing her sometime on the date etc. I like to take things step by step when it comes to becoming physically intimate. It ruins the intimacy if its rushed.(9792)

9. I would probably just gradually get closer to the person, perhaps put my arm around her. Then if that was cool, I might just hold her hand and maybe tilt my head on hers. I’m not really that aggressive of a guy, so I’d never want to put any pressure on her, just see how it goes.

9. I would probably try to act smooth (and probably unsuccessfully), and treat the girl very nicely. I would not be pushy, and I would certainly not try to make a girl do something that they didn’t want to do. I would just try to be charming and probably try to go in for a kiss. (5222)

9. I would try to set the mood. A woman is not going to feel like being intimate unless the mood and the ambiance is right. Men tend to think that kissing or sex is just the logical next step when dating a girl. However women need to feel a connection with the person. They need to feel as if the person has a genuine connection with them. In my opinion this genuine connection only comes around once in a lifetime and it’s something that can’t be forced. To get a woman to be more intimate I would be very straightforward. I would just go for it. I would just go straight in for the kiss or whatever. By doing this you will get a very straightforward answer. She will either reject you or accept you.

I would make it clear in any off handed comments that I may make that I clearly thought she was very attractive and make it subtly make it known that I obviously would like to be more than just friends. Depending on how she responds to these comments I would know how she felt about me in this regard and would either get a green light or a red light. Green light make a move; red light don’t waste my time.

9. I would start by making small gestures of intimacy, such as hand-holding or putting my arm around her shoulder, then see how it naturally progresses. Often the girl will give clues with her words or body language if she wants you to continue and how far.

  1. 9. I would complement them on their attractiveness. I would usually try to get what I want with my body language as well. I would make a lot of eye contact; I would stay physically close to them, put my hand on their leg, and even kiss them. 1976

I would start joking around with her to loosen her up. I also may put my arm around her shoulders as we walk. If she starts joking around back and becomes flirty, then I know that I have a chance. If she doesn’t respond, I know that we’re better as just friends.

Be more touchy-feely. Whisper sweet nothings. Or just give her an alcoholic drink of her choice.

Maybe put my arm around her. Be a little flirty. Maybe strike up a some-relevant but non-related topic of conversation involving sex and romance and see how she reacts to it all. Maybe just offer her to come back to my place. It all realIy depends on her.

Probably throw a little alcohol into the mix and if we were close to each other I would probably try to touch her in anyway. Just a simple shoulder rub or hands touching each other would be sufficient.

  1. 9. It really depends on the girl. Some girls you can literally say anything to them and they’ll still like you. Other girls you have to be careful about what you say and actually spit some game. In this type of situation, where I’ve been going on dates with the girl and we know each other pretty well, I would probably make a move and see what happens. If she rejected me then at least I know that the relationship was never going anywhere and I can end it. If she’s into it then perfect, I got what I wanted. Also, a kiss is a completely different than sex. Girls basically know how far they are willing to go at any given time in the ‘courting’ process. Trying to rush things beyond their comfortability level is foolish.

9. I think in this situation, body language and eye contact is essential. If you smile and make a lot of eye contact with the other person, then you show that you are truly interested in them. If you give them all your attention, it’ll show that you are only interested in them, and I think that this is what a girl would really want to see. She needs to know that she’s the only one that you want, and that even when she’s gone you won’t be looking at other girls. Give her as much eye contact as you can, and I feel that this will allow you to take the relationship further.

  1. 9 If anything was actually talked about I would probably use humor as a way to

lighten the mood a little. But more likely, I would just make my move, making it clear what I wanted to do, but not forceful, giving her times to stop, pull away, or verbal object. If no objections were raised, I would proceed as far as I felt comfortable and appropriate.

I would first bring up the situation of sex or being intimate so that I could get a better understanding of where the women was in her own life in regards to physical intimacy. Then I would do my best to show her and let her know that she could trust me, that I cared for her and was interested in taking the relationship to the next level. I would hold her hand to spark some emotion in her. Hug her and bring her close to me so that she could see that I was interested in being more than just friends. Then I would hope that she felt the same way and go from there. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 9. I would be straight up with her and say that things have been going great and that at this

point, I would want nothing more than to feel her lips against mine and be able to hold her without getting grief for it. And then proceed from there. It is a delicate situation because as a male, I really do not want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. But after a month, I think I would have a pretty good idea of what my boundaries would be.

  1. 9. Assuming that I meant to take physical intimacy as far as I

possibly could go, I would try to initiate it slowly and only when sure that the woman might actually be willing to go through with it. I would assure her that I was there with her all the way and would be looking for enjoyment for both of our sakes. I would generally touch her throughout the night particularly on the arm or hands. I might also add some alcohol though not enough to get her drunk and only to get us more relaxed.

  1. 9 If I were to try and go further with a date I was physically

attracted to, I would try to set the mood with turning down the lights, lighting a candle, turning on some music, being alone with her and serving a drink. I would begin to compliment the things I like about her while lightly touching her hands, legs, and face.

  1. 9 I think the best thing to do in this situation is to find an environment

that is suitable for taking the relationship to the next level. Such environments could include watching a movie on a couch, watching a sunset in a car, or snuggling under a blanket on the beach. Besides the environment, I would simply try to get my date and I to come to a point where we had similar expectations.

  1. 9. If I wanted to become physically intimate with the person I

would touch him as I talked to him. That is one for sure sign that a girl is interested if she touches you when she talks to you. If I was really interested and could tell he was too than I would tell him that or just be really gutsy and kiss him. Usually you can tell when someone is interested and so things can just flow better.

9. Well a bottle of wine always helps. Haha, but seriously, I would probably find a way to physically interact not in a sexual way that is too forward too soon, but in a subtle and very, very slightly suggestive way. See, the first step is breaking that physical barrier, but it is a process you must ease into. Watching a movie on the couch together, leading to a cuddle is a good start. Depending on the girl and situation I some how slip in an offer of a massage. More often than not they take me up on this offer. I will tell you why this is the best thing to lead to sex. Massaging is good because 1) it is a giving act, you are not (at least in that immediate moment) expecting them to give you anything, they get to just enjoy, so it comes at no cost to them, 2) it is a great excuse to be physically suggestive, you can do things that plant the idea of sex in their head without making them feel encroached upon 3) it relaxes them, dropping some inhibitions, and makes them see that you can make them feel good 4) if you are good with your hands during a massage, i.e. sensitive to another persons pleasure zones and able to hold a nice rhythm, they just might wonder if the same transfers to the bedroom. 5) who doesn’t enjoy a good massage? (7519)

  1. 9. Assuming that I meant to take physical intimacy as far as I

possibly could go, I would try to initiate it slowly and only when sure that the woman might actually be willing to go through with it. I would assure her that I was there with her all the way and would be looking for enjoyment for both of our sakes. I would generally touch her throughout the night particularly on the arm or hands. I might also add some alcohol though not enough to get her drunk and only to get us more relaxed.

  1. 9. I would certainly try my hardest to throw out blatant body

language and subtle suggestions (though not too subtle). I would make comments about how attracted I was to that person and try to place myself in isolated environments with the person if possible (though not so much that I became creepy to my date). I might ask the person about their sexual experience to gauge how quickly our physical interaction should progress. I might also hold myself in such a way that I was at my most attractive (in my own mind anyway) in every situation. I wouldnt pretend to be something I wasnt, but lets just say I would more than likely flex if she touched my arm, its only appropriate.

  1. 9. I would talk her into coming back to my apartment. I would

dim the lights, turn on some romantic music, and bring out some champagne. There is no way that a girl that you have been dating for a month will turn you down for anything when in the perfect romantic setting. All I can say is it would be a long night.

  1. 9 First thing I would do would be to be very nice to her.

Overally nice maybe. Then do things casual things like hold her hand or sit close to her. Little actions like these can tell a girl what you are looking for. Then you have to watch her response to these actions. If she looks uncomfortable this is usually a bad sign. But if she moves closer and looks comfortable then you are on the right track.

  1. 9 I would tell her the way I feel about her and ask if she feels the same way about me. If she really didn’t like me that much, though, I would let it go at that. I don’t want to have to force someone to like me. If they don’t feel that way towards me after a month, it’s pretty much a lost cause.

9. I would influence this person to become physically intimate by taking them on some sort of adventure. This not only gets the flood flowing, but also creates a memorable experience that they are sharing with me. This builds intimacy. Also, be getting wrapped up in something bigger than themselves and out of the ordinary they become more attracted to me. The key is to among this adventure, find a moment of solace and break from the action that can be very romantic.

9. At this point I would have to ask if they had ever been intimate before, and if so, how intimate. Being pretty straightforward would be my approach. It is usually a good icebreaker to have a few drinks but that is another gray area because it might seem very shady to have someone very drunk and then initiate intimacy. Inviting them into to my house would be another great move to create a more intimate setting for possible intimacy. I have found that humor is the best way to break tensions and get people to relax. Where pickup lines are useless at a bar, they are outstanding once you already know the person.

9. Under the circumstances that I was dating a woman who I was physically attracted to, yet any physical interaction had not occurred up to that point, I would initiate a “first move”, however I would do so in a manner that is not overbearing or too advanced for the relationship status. For example, if I were dating someone who liked to laugh a lot, I might attempt to tickle her in hopes of showing affection and expressing physical closeness. If I were dating someone who was shy and quiet, I would simply place my hand in close proximity with theirs and allow them to make the choice to make the same advance or not. I’m not one to jump to sexual interaction, so I would not try to initiate such actions early on in a relationship. (9852)

9. This would be about our fourth date. The first three were good dates, but no sexual interaction. In this situation, I would try voicing my feelings to her and letting her know how I felt. This way she can at least understand how I feel and match her feelings accordingly. After the date and the conversation, I would make the first move at some point before the night was over and see how she responded. (6321)

9. I wouldn’t ask anyone to have sexual contact because that would just destroy the mood or she’ll lose interest. Sex, should be spontinuity to make things fun and exciting. Plus, if you ask someone to have sexual intimacy that is very unattractive, in most occasions I feel women likes to be lead by the guy. I would just give a hint of pleasure (touching, kissing, feeling) and if she feels uncomfortable then she is not ready. Completely understandable in that case. I would try to make her feel comfortable first though by putting soothing music, candles, anything that makes the mood just right for her. (0475)

9) I believe I am very traditional in the respect that sex is something that is worked towards slowly and consented by both parties. If dates have yet to have physical intimacy in the form of hand holding, then sex might have to wait for a while until everyone is comfortable with that much at least. As far as influencing physical intimacy, I would ‘make a move’. Whether it is suddenly grabbing her hand while walking or laying my hand on hers when resting, initiating intimacy involves taking a risk and putting yourself out there for better or for worse. Sexually, I would discuss how she felt and then go from there, but I would also give her time if she needed it so if she needed to change her mind she could do so without feeling pressured. I go by the saying that “gifts given willingly are sweeter than those taken”. (8879)

9. Well I suppose it all depends on the opposite sex. I don't think its really proper to push or coerce someone into doing something they don't want to do. If I was dating someone for a month and was physically attracted to that person I would have already tried holding hands at this point. To go as far as having sex or moving into more intimate actions would require time to get to know the person better and become more comfortable in doing things together. (6867)

#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

10. Even if you feel unsure it still might be worth trying out. However, if you are convinced you don’t want to become sexual with this girl at that time, you can transition the date to a more public affair such as hanging out with one other guy, maybe even your brother or sister, the object being to make the girl feel as socially awkward as possible. Then she for sure will not initiate physical contact. You could also tell her “I’m just not that into you.” (5792).

10. I would avoid physical contact and kind of keep my distance to certain degree, so it doesn’t get to the point where she feels like I am going to try anything. (5433)

10. I would first try and avoid all physical touch. But, if she tried to hold my hand, I wouldn't interlock fingers. Or if she tried to go for the kiss I would probably turn or back away and let her know that I like where we are in our relationship and I wouldn't want to compromise the relationship by taking it further then it already is.(9792)

10. I would probably space myself and do things on the date that would help avoid intimate situations. For example, I might go to a party or some heavily crowded area so it wouldn’t just be the two of us.

10. I would most likely become very quiet and try to come up with some excuse to leave. If it was someone I wanted to stay in touch with, I would probably just say I’d rather be friends. (5222)

10. Well this question is very hard to answer because men hardly ever dissuade physical intimacy. When a girl is ready to go just about 99.9% of the time the man is ready to go as well. So if I had to dissuade physical intimacy I would try to avoid this girl at all costs when the situation might lend itself to her trying to put a move on me.

I’d most likely not be on a date with her just the two of us unless it was clear that wasn’t physically attracted to her. If I did happen to be in this situation, however, I would probably either talk about some other girl that I liked or just get intoxicated and yield to her advances.

10. I would ensure that my body language always implies keeping separation and I’d make sure discussion always strayed towards inane subjects. I would try to steer any advances towards neutrality and hint that I am attracted to other people.

  1. 10. I think that I would simply try to avoid close contact with the person, hopefully showing that I was not interested in moving forward in the physical part of the relationship. 9171.
  1. 10. I would keep the conversation completely Plutonic. I would also keep my distance physically so as not to send any mixed signals. 1976

I would not touch her nor would I flirt with her.

Tell her I have a girlfriend, or just broke up with one so I don’t look as bad.

Don't flirt. Be yourself. But drop hints in the conversation or maybe dissagree with her about something just enough to turn her off of you, but still be cool with you. Don't wanna stir up any violence now.

I don’t think I would be in the second situation because I would probably tell that person if I did not want things to get serious or physical. But I guess if I was and she tried to make a move I would make up some excuse for needing to leave. 10. Usually the girl will not make the first move so guys have it easier in this situation (I feel for girls who have to deal with a guy who they are not attracted to!). To avoid getting involved with this person I would probably become really interested in everything in the room and everybody in the room besides her (although this may make want what she can’t have even more). I would also try to end the night early by saying I was tired and had to get up early the next day. Calling a friend to bail you out or mediate is also a good move, I know from personal experience that girls definitely utilize this one (haha). (7519) 10.I would bring up my past relations and let her know that I have been hurt before so I am really just looking at something going slow. Friendship is what I need at this moment in my life and once I get settles and over my past relationship, then I might consider getting into another one. The best way I think is to be direct, that way no one is throwing around mixed signals or having to guess at ones intentions. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 10. I wouldn’t. I would still make her like me even though this might be considered leading on. I would keep the girl interested in me and avoid sexual relations by playing dumb or making up excuses for stuff that I have to do. If I was trying to make a girl not like me then usually I turn into a huge dick. This situation is lose lose. Either the girl likes me more because of it, or she hates me and tells her friends that I’m an asshole (and then I’m screwed if I wanted to go for one of her friends). If I keep a girl happy in the “friends/flirtly” area then its always win win.
  1. 10. If I were to influence the person to be less sexual,

however, I would refrain from touching her at all. I might just want to sit apart from her and refrain from doing anything that could in any way imply romance. I would also abstain from speaking of passionate issues or other such things. I would also have the final say in whether we had sex or not anyway, so it really ends in that.

  1. 10 If I did not want to do anything sexually with a girl, I

would stay around a group of friends, talking about non-sexual and platonic subjects, and not looking at her very much.

  1. 10. If I was not interested I would probably be more standoffish

or distant. I would make sure not to flirt with him but just talk to him in more of a friend way. If he did not get the clue than I would probably just tell him that I was not interested but that I like spending time with him in a friend way.

  1. 10. If I were to influence the person to be less sexual,

however, I would refrain from touching her at all. I might just want to sit apart from her and refrain from doing anything that could in any way imply romance. I would also abstain from speaking of passionate issues or other such things. I would also have the final say in whether we had sex or not anyway, so it really ends in that.

  1. 10 Again, if anything was said out loud, I would try to use humor to lighten the

mood. But probably I would just give her the appropriate body language to show I was uninterested. I would do my best to avoid getting into any situations that she might deem as a good time to "make her move." If anything actually happened, I would pull away to show her I was not interested in her "like that". Maybe I'd pull out that dreaded "Let's just be friends" line.

  1. 10. If I was not interested in any physical intimacy with the person I was going out with, I

would be sure to say things like, "You are a really cool girl and I am glad that we have gotten to be friends," or I would bring up an ex-girlfriend and talk about how I have been really thinking a lot about her lately and I think there might still be something there. I would also keep my distance from any touching and be completely straight up with her if it came down to it.

  1. 10 In this situation, I would try to either become really boring or a total jerk and do as

much as I could to end the date early. To avoid becoming sexual, I would make sure we stayed in a public place where those kinds of things are less likely to happen.

  1. 10 I would start by keeping my distance from her. I wouldn't say

anything to flattering to give her the wrong impression. If it got really bad I would pretend I was sick.

  1. 10. I would constantly stress my wishes for a meaningful

friendship in the conversation. I might make an effort to not look particularly attractive or sexually appealing. I might make references to a person that Im "with" at the current time and my commitments to that person. If I knew that the person was only interested in someone who was experienced sexually I might feign inexperience. Conversely, if I knew that the other person wanted someone pure and inoccent I might stress my many sexual experiences. Its not good to gross someone out with too many details but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  1. 10. I would start acting distant. I would not seem interested

in her conversation and I would try to end the date as quickly as possible. I would give her a good night kiss to satisfy a little of her urges, but I would never call her again.

  1. 10 This I think is pretty hard to do. If I girl really likes

you it is pretty hard to tell her no. But again I think that it is the little things that tell her how you feel. How you handle the conversation is one sign. Another is the physical things; like how close you get to her. Whether you touch her hand, hug her etc..

  1. 10 First of all, I wouldn’t have let it go on that long. But supposing I had, I would have no choice but to tell her my true feelings; that I’m not attracted to her sexually.

10. I would avoid physical contact and just act friendly. I would not flirt and if necessary make it clear how I feel, or rather don’t feel about them.

10. I am a guy so that would not happen. Personally, if I was even considering dating someone I would have considered being intimate with them. If this person did something on a date that absolutely grossed me out I might have to use something desperate. I would not want to use something that could easily be fixed quickly. If I was sick then this situation would be hard to get out of in the following week. I might have to be brutally honest or use the excuse that I just can’t be intimate since my last relationship was so destructive. I am just too vulnerable.

10. As I have grown, I have realized that there is a fine line between truth and feelings, and that line must be respected. I do not believe in outright telling someone that you are in fact not interested in them as that is a harsh approach which may unnecessarily hurt someone’s feelings. On the other hand, I also do not believe in keeping silent and suppressing a lack of feelings towards another as that would be leading them on and hurting them as well. I personally try to express my lack of interest in a neutral way, by simply responding to things such as a kiss or holding hands, but I still attempt to be very nice and sincere to that individual. It is hard to reject and not hurt someone at the same time, but I believe there is a combination of ways that make such a rejection respectful towards that individual. (9852)

10. This situation is quite different. I would act very awkward. Because I have no feelings for her, I would try to avoid physical contact. If she initiated the contact, I would play along but definitely not give off hints that I am enjoying myself. In this situation, one has to mitigate it by not leading her on unnecessarily. If she tried anything sexual and I was not into her, I would definitely give her an excuse as to why I could not hook up with her. (6321)

10. Two words, “sorry can’t”, by saying this the opposite sex will feel embarassed asking and let’s hope she would not bring back the topic of sexual intimacy again. If you have been in a relationship with her for some time, then it is reasonable for the other sex to understand your situation. Being honest is the key to getting your feelings acrossed or she will never know and keep on bugging you. (0475)

10) Let her down gently. I would come clean with my feelings and explain my impression of hers. This method has only two possible outcomes: 1) she sees reason and we can each go our ways or 2) the girl would refuse to be logical and insist, in which case I would richly deserve any and all drama for having even thought about dating someone so immature. (8879)

10. I would simply say in a manner as to not hurt their feelings that I am not interested in the way they are. This usually doesn't happen in that order because generally guys are the first to make the move so it might just be easier to avoid situations that would allow things to get physical. (6867)


For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when... 11. …you show interest in another girl. (5792)

11. we ignore them a little bit and begin talking to someone that they don’t know.9171.

11. …their boyfriend is hitting and flirting with other girls in front of them. (5433) 11. ...Im with another female that they may not like/approve of.(9792) 11. …you give them attention, but then shift attention towards other girls.

11. …I get a call from another girl.

11. …another woman is flirting or trying to get our attention.

they learn that I think their best friend is extremely attractive. You talk to other females. Whether on the phone, in class or simply at a party socializing. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 11. you are hanging out with members (new and old) of the opposite sex. 1976

I talk to other girls.

…they are insecure of themselves

mention other girls names or even anything about them around her (i hate that)

spend too much time with your friends instead of with her or if you talk with another girl

  1. 11. multiple girls like the same guy. I don’t know if it’s the competition or what, but girls get ridiculously jealous when they know that the guy has options
  1. 11. men appreciate the beauty of another woman.

11. …they see guys spending time and attention on other girls. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective; time and energy on another girl is a threat to the jealous girl that her man will leave her and not provide for her and her offspring (7519)

  1. 11 I show any interest in another girl, and it does not have to

be sexual.

  1. 11 innocently flirt with another girl.

  1. 11. they like me and I pay more attention to another woman.

  1. 11. his girlfriend gets a lot of attention from other guys.
  1. 11 I flirt with other girls who they see as a threat.
  1. 11. men appreciate the beauty of another woman.
  1. 11 I dress to impress and flirt with other girls.
  1. 11. ...we talk about ex-girlfriends or recount sexual

experiences. And I have no qualms with this because I belive that guys act the same way. No one wants to hear about it,we should all keep that in mind.

  1. 11. I talk to other girls, even when there my friends. My

girlfriend goes nuts. Though she does not get jealous when I look at other girls, she goes crazy if I talk to them. And if I touch another girl, no nookie for me.

  1. 11 an attractive guy is talking to another attractive girl.

Regardless of whether he likes her or not or regardless of anything else

-It seems like most of the guys said that girls become jealous when they are flirting with other girls. I absolutely agree with this. I also believe that guys become jealous when their girlfriends flirt with other guys. #7452

  1. 11 …they find you alone with another girl, even if it is just another friend.

11. …another girl latches on to their guy.

11. There are a lot of the other women around, especially attractive ones.

11. Other females who are friends are part of a male’s life that they are in a relationship with. This stands to reason however as females do seem to express a very territorial approach to dating and relationships. Since I am a believer in faithfulness, I actually welcome jealousy as a sign that I actually mean something to that individual. (9852)

11. You don’t spend time with her, or spend time with others over her. (6321)

11. the opposite sex brings up another opposite sex. (0475)

11) …another girl competes for attention.(8879)

11. another girl gets your attention or communicates with you. I have had trouble when other girls text me especially. (6867)

#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

12. more likely to initiate it between us. I like to take things slow and see how comfortable the girl is with things before i try anything. once I get a sense that the girl wants to take things further then i will take it further, but only as far as she is willing to go.(9792)

12. …makes the final move. (5792)

12. …has to be willing to go further or it won’t go anywhere. (5433)

12. gets really close to me and speaks more in my ear rather than just speaking out loud at a normal distance.

is either down or not down.

12. …will rarely ever be the one to do it. I guess I like this. (7519)

12. …waits for the man to do the initiating.

12. tends to be too ambiguous about their feelings, and needs to make their intentions clearer. 9171.

  1. 12. tends to let you do all the work. 1976

usually makes the first move.

…is a mixed bag. Some are easy, some are not. Some consistency please.

for some reason thinks we as men are responsible for making the first move. Sometimes they do, but women tend to be more shy and reliant on the man for this kinda stuff.

usually just waits for the male to make a move

Needs to give a little as well because you do not know what is right and wrong according to their standards. 9735 8/28/08

12. …tries to act more conservative than she actually is, and then easily submits without much encouragement.

  1. 12. rarely makes the move. Guys usually have to make the first move. I would say that 100% of the time guys at least try to push the limits and see what happens. Sometimes a girl will initiate the sex.
  1. 12. generally is not the first person to initiate it. Instead,

they may only give themselves up when the man gives the woman pressure to go ahead with it.

  1. 12 has most of the power, but does not always use it to their

full advantage.

  1. 12 usually waits for me to make the first move. I wish they would make the move

more often.

  1. 12. needs to know my intentions from the "getgo".

  1. 12. usually takes the initiative and shows the girl that he

wants to kiss her or be with her.

  1. 12. generally is not the first person to initiate it. Instead,

they may only give themselves up when the man gives the woman pressure to go ahead with it.

  1. 12 usually does not make the first move.
  1. 12 has to be persuaded most of the time.
  1. 12. ...may be timid or insecure, depending on how they were

brought up to think of sexuality. Some may be extremely game for experimentation but this instance is very rare.

  1. 12 has a hard time initiating sexuality and expressing exactly

what they want

  1. 12 …is very cautious (at least from my limited experience).

12. …does a poor job of it.

12. Should do so more often. Guys have a hard time reading women so aggressive girls are definitely encouraged. Even just smiling are being polite breaks the tension and allows guys to approach them more easily.

12. …Has, at least in my past, expressed a confidence and trust in the interaction. As I stated earlier I am not one to jump to sexual interactions as soon as possible, so often times when sexual interaction does occur for the first time, we are both equally comfortable with each other to do so without worry or weariness. (9852)

12. Lets the man take the lead and usually will not make the first move. (6321)

12. will be shy, blush, and a tad bit of uncomfortableness.

12) …tends to be very mysterious. Some girls lend to the impression that only male urges are natural but simultaneously unacceptable to even mention for fear of labeling. (8879)

12. ... is usually the one to allow where things are going to go. When initiating sexual advances the opposite sexes response generally directs how far she is willing to go. (6867)

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

13. ...what guys talk about. I feel that girls have this conception that all guys talk really bad towards women and just put them down all the time when they are not around. This is very untrue.(9792)

13. ...logic. (5792)

13. …how much guys actually do feel, but don’t tell them. (5433)

13. why they themselves act in the ways that they do.

efficiency and time management.

13. …a man’s ego and pride.

13. the importance of hanging out with our guy friends.

  1. 13. their lack of emotional regulation and are a bit dramatic when it is not necessary. 1976

computers and electronics.


cars and videogames. and men in general.

the opposite sex


  1. 13. how hypocritical they are. Many women profess to liking one

thing, and disliking some characteristics of men, but end up doing exactly what they professed to disliking.

13…about guys constant (and I mean constant) desire for sex.(7519)

  1. 13. guy’s motivations. Guys will say anything to get in a girl’s pants and girls actually believe it. It’s ridiculous. Girls can be quoted saying “oh he’s such a nice guys he did this and this and told me this, blah blah blah.” It’s all said for a reason.
  1. 13 how to drive.

-This was in response to the opposite sex being clueless.This is almost comical because it is true from most of the girls I have been around. From my sister to my ex-girlfriend, it is across the board. I was in the passenger seat of this girl’s car and she was speeding down the street while talking to me, when I noticed she wasn’t slowing down for this red light I said “You know that light is red, right?”. She promptly slammed the breaks and had this look on her face that indicated that she had actually not been looking at the light. It wasn’t even scared before I saw her face. I said that comment almost jokingly at the time. I think I should throw a disclaimer in this comment because, as I review it, it does appear to have some malice.

  1. 13 the motivations behind the actions of men in relationships.
  1. 13. how girls feel or how girls just are.
  1. 13. how hypocritical they are. Many women profess to liking one

thing, and disliking some characteristics of men, but end up doing exactly what they professed to disliking.

  1. 13 anything mechanical.

What they want in life let alone us. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 13 the advantage of living a simple life, not worrying about what others think.
  1. 13. sports.
  1. 13. ...the mans biological need to release certain tensions even

after very little physical activity. Granted their chemical makeup doesnt function the same way, but they just dont getit sometimes.

  1. 13 understanding themselves and the motives behind their


  1. 13 …male interaction.

13. …how guys need respect more than they need love

13. What they actually want. I have found that girls don’t even know what they want so when they get it they don’t know what to do with it. They may claim to want guys that have certain quality until they get it. When they do they realize they didn’t want it.

13. Nothing. I know that might not be the greatest response, but it’s truly what I feel. Anyone in my mind, either male or female, can become understanding about something if they wish to be. In general I have never met a woman who simply was completely void of understanding of something. (9852)

13. Sports (6321)

13. about the opposite sex. (0475)

13) …the opposite sex. A girl could never understand what it means to be a male without actually being male and experiencing it. Likewise a man cannot begin to imagine what it means to be a woman. (8879)

13. seems clueless about how we feel. We aren't dogs and we have feelings too. (6867)

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

14. great at. I think I could definitely work a little more at being romantic.(9792)

14. …tries to get me to be. (5792)

14. …does well. (5433)

14. enjoys every now and then.

ultimately strives for, often trying to make even the most unromantic things appear romantic.

14. …pretends to know a lot about but really has no idea.

14…values and dreams about. This is why I can relate to girls; I am a hopeless romantic myself. (7519)

14. tends to hold in high regard.9171.

  1. 14. like to be a lot.

is good at doing.

…blows way out of proportion.

really loves and really deserves to have.

takes way to seriously Is very good at and should continue to do. Just because males don’t always act that way, we appreciate more then you know. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 14. likes to talk about but never actually does. Girls watch movies where guys serenade the girl and take them out on dates and all that stuff. But I’m pretty sure if that ever happened in real life a girl would laugh and get awkward. I would love to take girls out on dates, meet the pops, do the whole works but our generation doesn’t date. You hook up with a girl and if you keep hooking up then your dating.
  1. 14. knows much more about than men.
  1. 14 puts a large amount of importance on.
  1. 14. sometimes understands but most of the time is clueless

about. They usually don't know what being romantic is to a girl.

  1. 14. knows much more about than men.
  1. 14 that I love.

14. …too often leaves up to the guy.

  1. 14. ...values very highly and is usually better at.
  1. 14 is good at when they want to
  1. 14 almost always seems to prefer.
  1. 14. Is usually not that good at, but expect guys to be great at

it. Women never initiate anything romantic, they expect tit to be the guys role to be romantic, and set up all the romantic scenarios.

  1. 14 understands fairly well but they seem to leave the romance

up to the guy to take care of.

  1. 14 understandably expects, but perhaps too often.

  1. 14. loves to do, but doesn't always know the implications of it.

-Aw. really loves and really deserves? That is a good answer. We do put more importance on romance than men, but i think it is important to us and that is why we care so much about it. #7452

  1. 14 …is good at.

14. …values very much

14. Does not do well themselves. It is always said that guys are unromantic but girls have some terrible tastes as well.

14. …Finds important, and finds as an important piece to the puzzle of relationships. Romance, despite what the media and society expressed to us as men, is a very important part of a relationship. It builds trust, closeness, understanding, intimacy, and love between two individuals. I find it hard to swallow when most men refer to romance as “unmanly” or a waste of time. P.s. I'm sure at least one of the guys in the class will disagree with me, but that's quite alright. (9852)

14. Absolutely loves. Even if they are not in the mood for it, they respond well to it nonetheless. It is a reassurance of a man’s love for her. (6321)

14. would like to have in a relationship from time to time. (0475)

14) …takes for granted based on their gender’s definition. Being romantic is open to interpretation some times, possibly due to males and females having different ideas on what being romantic is exactly. (8879)

14. ... expects us as men to be. (6867)

#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

15. ...monitoring how many times we call them and or how long of a time we spend with them.(9792)

15. …toying with their emotions. (5792)

15. …showing them exaggerated sides of themselves. (5433)

15. asking questions they know they already want a certain answer to.

seeing how much we trust them when we’re not around. 15…not saying what they want and seeing if their man can pick up on her subtle signals (7519)

15. …acting irrationally about other girls in a guy’s life.

15. …tempting them and making them mad to see how they react.

15. being a little annoying and seeing how much their partner will cater to them. 9171.

  1. 15. not communicating what they really want and seeing if the other person can figure it out. 1976

not calling them in order to “test” to see when he/she will call them.

…not calling them to put the ball in our court.

spying on them, asking them trick questions, sending a girlfriend of theirs in to do reconnaissance in regards to his loyalty and faithfulness

by saying things like “does this make me look fat,” nobody really fails that test though.

  1. 15. playing pointless games. Girls and guys both play games all the time, but it is necessary because nobody likes what’s easy to get. Challenge (through games) sparks interest.

Saying and doing things that might get them to get upset in order to see if they still like that person or not. They also want to make sure they are in the relationship for the right reasons. Too make sure they are not going to get hurt. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 15. asking them hypothetical questions.
  1. 15 by having hidden meanings in their questions.
  1. 15. ...asking a series of dead-end questions and grilling them

about the mathematics of their romantic history (obviously this puts a damper on the answer to #11 but when mind games and tests come into the mix predictability flies right out the window).

  1. 15 evaluating how well their boyfriend remembers things, takes them out on dates, and by

how many random thoughtful things he does.

  1. 15 asking, "hypothetically speaking" type questions
  1. 15. Having there friends hit on there partner. If they reject

there friends advances, then you pass the test. But if not, you fail.

  1. 15 seeing if they remember important dates like birthday,

anniversary. They also see how long it will take for the guy to call. They constantly test a guy to see if he really does care about her.

  1. 15 …actually, I can’t answer this one since it never happened to me…at least I don’t think so…

15. …seeing how much emotional baggage they will put up with.

15. Pretending to show interest in someone else. Sometimes girls will hang out with other guys more just to demonstrate that they can.

15. ...Asking them questions and analyzing their answers. More often than not, women who I have dated in the past ask many questions at the beginning of and throughout a relationship to better understand their partner. Less frequently, I have noticed that women will watch men’s actions to determine the kind of person they are. (9852)

15. Seeing how they react to a number of different situations. Girls will first play hard to get, and see if you like them enough to keep trying. Then they test you by doing certain things, and seeing how you handle the situations. For example, they will agree with you on a topic they actually feel different about, and see if you can tell how they feel. (6321)

15. asking “what if” questions or when they ask for affection there was a tad bit of confusion in the opposite sex. (0475)

15) …putting them in compromising situations and expecting them to choose the exact same thing they themselves would. I think this is unfair because while two people could get along romantically because they are of like mind in most things, expecting your significant other to do as you would simply because they are your bf/gf is unrealistic (8879)

15.... by asking questions, probing into personal histories and observing how we react in every situation they feel is relevant to the relationship. (6867)

#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

16. ...being polite. I feel that a lot of girls expect guys to open the door for them or pay for them when they go out. Maybe not as much anymore, but I do feel a girl will judge a guy if he asks her to pay for some of the dinner or doesn't open the door for her.(9792)

16. …jealousy. (5792)

16. …things they do well or first. (5433)

16. bathroom breaks 16. …finances.

16. …paying for a date or opening doors, etc.


16….i just have to say that this whole equality for the sex thing has blurred the lines. I am all for equality, but feminists have gone too far and tried to ruin romantic courtship and chivalry. It sucks walking on egg shells worried that you are going to offend someone if you open up the door for them. Do you want us to treat you like a lady or what? (7519)

  1. 16. paying for things.

paying for a date.

…paying for the bill at dinner.


paying for dates and other acts of chivalry

16. sports…9171.

  1. 16. EVERYTHING! Girls want special treatment for everything and still rely on men way too much. They are all for equality until something is broken in the house or the money isn’t coming in…then it’s always the guys fault.
  1. 16. male and female roles in a relationship.
  1. 16 paying for the date.

  1. 16 physical tasks or dealing with high stress situations.
  1. 16. sports. I think that is the main thing that guys do not

think girls can be equal at.

Doing laborious yard work activities such as mowing the lawn and picking up animal droppings. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 16. male and female roles in a relationship.
  1. 16 taking charge of a difficult situation.
  1. 16 taking ownership for perpetuating negative gender stereotypes and being responsible for pushing them

onto members of their own gender.

  1. 16. Anything. Girls never think that there equal and they are

always complaining that there needs to be more women in the work force or more women in government. They complain about equality in everything.

  1. 16 rules about dating. Like how much older a partner can be or

what is considered date rape

  1. 16 …lifting heavy things.

16. …chivalry and paying for dates.

16. Dating. Pretty much any person would say that the guy is supposed to pay on the date

16. … Again, I would have to suggest nothing for this question. I have yet to meet a woman who I have known who wanted more or less equality in a situation. Often times I hear that women like to be “cared for” as in being paid for on dates and treated, yet almost every woman I have dated has always made it clear that they are independent enough to pay for their own things, although they may accept such a courtesy as they realize that it is not meant to make them feel inadequate, but rather it is a gesture of good will. (9852)

16. Fighting a war, or anything involving physical strength. (6321)

16. decision making. (0475)

16) …treatment in the workplace. Women expect to get paid like a man for their work, but treated like a woman in the workplace with regard to their fairer sex’s ‘sensitivities’. (8879)

17.... paying the bills. Woman want equality but expect us to pay for everything. (6867)

#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

17. ...sometimes is too much of.(9792)

17. …has a lot of trouble seeing. (5792)

17. …has over their significant others. (5433)

17. can occasionally adopt as a quality.

17. …doesn’t really tend to do.

is guilty of just as much as we are.

17. can take too seriously and get too clingy. 9171.

  1. 17. definitely displays.

needs to learn to control.

…needs to understand is not necessarily a bad thing.

can make cute if done in the right way, but often is simply scary, weird, and annoying

needs and wants of everything

  1. 17. pretty good at avoiding. I feel like guys tend to be way more possessive then women. Obviously there are exceptions, but guys try to protect their girlfriends from other guys more than women do (probably because we know how creepy we are).
  1. 17. sometimes holds much too importantly.

17. …exercises often.

  1. 17. gains from being insecure.
  2. 17 in general has much less of than males, but can still become nasty.
  3. 17 hates to say that they have, but in reality, they are very possessive.
  1. 17 typically exhibits, but to a lesser extent than guys.

17….sometimes engages in, but then again both sexes do, its human nature, we all get jealous. (7519)

  1. 17. sometimes holds much too importantly.
  1. 17 sometimes has.
  1. 17. ...excels at.

Should work on so that they do not find themselves being insecure in certain situations. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 17. Performs to much of. Girls are so possessive. In

relationships, with there personal items, and friendships.

  1. 17 has but I don't think that it is that big of a deal. I

think that guys can get more possessive.

  1. 17 …is very fond of.

17. …can be accustomed to.

17. Also does. Some girls are very possessive and it seems to be a huge insecurity. I have found that some girls also like guys are who are possessive while others do not.

17.… Excels at, and rightfully should. Being possessive is not something that, in my opinion, should be frowned upon, for the most part. There are cases of excessive possessiveness which can lead to complications between relationships, but a fair amount of being possessive in my mind simply reassures the other that they are worth keeping. If someone takes no interest in what their partner does, it is hard to understand how that person really cares for that individual. (9852)

17. Usually likes. They want their boyfriend to be possessive over them, but not to an extreme. (6321)

17. will strive for in a committed relationship. (0475)

17) …is known for. Women value the materialistic, thus possessiveness is the drive complementing their desiring nature. (8879)

17.) shows to much of. (6867)

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

18. more physically attractive.(9792)

18. …knows how to get my attention. (5792)

18. …is more attractive. (5433)

18. loves to flaunt it

got the bum end of the deal.

18….desires it but is not nearly as extremely zealous about it as us men are; you don’t often have women going to strip clubs, looking at porn or whistling at guys on the street. (7519)

18. …doesn’t appreciate me as much as they should.

18. …is much better looking than we are.

18. is amazing. 9171

  1. 18. isn’t what I am interested in. 1976

is much more attractive than other guys.

…needs to admit that they too, are just as superficial as guys.

cares less about the attractiveness of the opposite sex and more about themselves

  1. 18. is doing a great job. Girls dress up nice and look beautiful. Girls are hot and girls who know they are hot and like to be hot are even hotter.

Is beautiful. They are much more attracting to look at them males. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 18. really knows a lot about it. Women seem to know exactly what

to do about enhancing their physical appearance.

  1. 18. is freakin hott. That is why we are attracted to them.
  1. 18 obviously wins.
  1. 18. really knows a lot about it. Women seem to know exactly what

to do about enhancing their physical appearance.

  1. 18 has it all.
  1. 18 needs to know that sense of humor and confidence can make the less physically

attractive girl sexy as hell, and snobbiness and rudeness can make the beauty queen repulsive.

  1. 18 spends billions of dollars a year on it, and yet is never satisfied.

  1. 18. ...has the deck stacked in their favor (as it were).

  1. 18. Really does not base relationships on too much physical

attractiveness. Some girls want a buff, good looking guy. But most girls just want a nice sensitive guy.

  1. 18 is very attractive and does a very good job showing it
  1. 18 …is better at it.

18. …has it in spades.

18. Is very much so. There never seems to be a shortness of beautiful women wherever you go.

18. …Is much more physically attractive by default. The female body is simply, without competition in my opinion, more beautiful than the male body. The complexity and combination of both rough and gentleness of the female body surpasses that of the male body. (9852)

18. Places a value on it, but not as much as men do. (6321)

18. cannot be unhealthy. (0475)

18) …is complements the eye a supermajority of the time, at least physically. Obviously, each individual maintains personal preferences, but a majority of females have the wit and intelligence to complement their natural physical feminity. (8879)

18. the opposite sex is much more attractive (6867)

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

19. about.(9792)

19. …want when looking for a guy. (5792)

19. …look at when finding a potential partner. (5433)

19. want to a certain extent.

19…values sadly. I don’t think the girl I will fall for will have that way up on her list of criteria; however, I think too many girls do judge guys off of that. I guess it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective (=man being able to provide). (7519)

19. …says they don’t care about but really do care about.

19. look way too much into peoples actions. 9171.

  1. 19. takes great pride in. 1976

look to when sizing up someone. This is relative to the “money and status” of other romantic possibilities.

tends to look for in a mate.

…holds on too high a pedestal.

place too much importance on.

cares for more at least when looking for a mate

  1. 19. cares too much about. Girls love guys with money and status. It’s annoying because you see creepy old men, who have money and status, lurking on younger girls. There is probably something wrong with this guy if he can’t pull anything his own age. Also, a lot of girls date guys with money and status even though they are tools. I don’t get it.

Seems to gravitate towards, sometimes without even knowing its happening. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 19. may treasure as much as physical attractiveness.

19. …values the most in serious relationships.

  1. 19. are split about. Some guys are really into having money and

spending money but then there are guys who could care less about having a nice car or taking a girl to a really nice restaurant.

  1. 19. may treasure as much as physical attractiveness.
  1. 19 often looks for in a man
  1. 19. ...knows you have, and the fact that you have them probably

has a lot to do with why shes with you. Well, alright it COULD have a lot to do with why shes with you.

  1. 19 makes apart of their values and goals
  1. 19. Really puts as a high priority. Girls want a guy that is

successful and makes a lot of money so they can be taken care of.

  1. 19 value, but how much depends on the individual.
  1. 19 care about a lot I think a lot more then guys. Girls like

to have a guy that can support them and they care about social status more then most guys do. Every girl wants to be popular

  1. 19 hopefully do not look for in a guy. They are just materials.

  1. 19 needs in order to feel secure.
  1. 19 …desire.

19. …values very much in men even though they may deny it.

19. Value more than anything else

19. … At times think are important, and at other times find trivial. I once dated a women a long time ago who was obsessed with money and physical possessions and status. In opposition, I have also dated someone who completely did not find money and status relevant in any way, shape, or form. It simply comes down to the type of person that individual is. (9852)

19. Care about, but once again, not as much as men do. (6321)

19. would like to have. I would say this depends more on how you wer brought up. (0475)

19) …value in a man. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between a man’s money and status and his attractiveness to females. Not to be crude, but these, and others, are legitimate criteria for evaluating a member of the opposite sex. (8879)

19. care about way to much. There is a lot of pressure on men to be rich, famous and successful. (6867)

#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex... 20. …when I see them being unfaithful to their partners. (5433)

20. …doesn’t want to have sex. (5792)

20. ignores people.9171.

20. too caught up on what other people think of them.(9792)

20….walks by looking amazing and there is nothing I can say or do to get to know them. (7519) 20. lies

jumps to conclusions. 20. …ignores me.

20. …doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do about them.

  1. 20. gets too emotional and reads into things that aren’t there. 1976

ditches me for another guy.

…gives me the cold shoulder.

plays games with me. I like honesty, even if its painful, its better than lies.

is overly promiscuous

  1. 20. denies me. Nobody likes liking somebody and not having him or her like you back.
  1. 20. rejects me without giving me a chance.
  1. 20. doesn't care about how I feel. Or when they don't understand

me or what I am trying to say to them. Or when they don't tell you when something is wrong or bothering them.

  1. 20. rejects me without giving me a chance.

Says things out of frustration, without looking at the larger picture first. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 20 does not return calls.
  1. 20 takes me for granted
  1. 20 accuses me of being insensitive on purpose.

  1. 20 won't give me a chance to get to know them.

  1. 20. ...forgets my name.
  1. 20 tries to hide the truth, women always know when someone is

lying, especially men

  1. 20. Judges me on what other people say. I hate when girls will

listen to what other people say about me, and believe its true without even knowing me.

  1. 20 doesn't want to talk to me or give me a chance to prove

myself to them.

  1. 20 …tells me they just want to be friends.

20. …is unfaithful and finds romantic satisfaction in someone else.

20. Reinforces stereotypes.

20.… Is taken advantage of. I have spent a majority of my life attempting to help everyone, yet at one point in my life I did subject a member of the opposite sex to pain by cheating on them. I have also known quite a few women who have been sexually assaulted, raped, or sexually harassed. I have yet to find a similar feeling of outrage, anger, and insanity than when I hear a story of a woman being raped. (9852)

20. Gets into girl groups, and loses her sense of individuality. (6321)

20. says harsh words, keeps talking forever, and eventually cries. (0475)

20) …argues. They say nothing is sacred in love and war, but when you argue with a girl nothing is sacred period. Terms like ‘below the belt’ help highlight how things that shouldn’t be said is understood implicitly in an argument between guys, but an argument with a girl is license for the girl to load every embarrassing event and mistake into a cannon & shoot it straight at your face. (8879)

20. Lies to us and we have to fund out for ourselves the truth. (6867)

#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...

21. …they are in a good mood and are being themselves. (5433)

21. ...we are having sex. (5792)

21. ...they really take the time to give me their attention.(9792)

21…I am with a beautiful girl who I care about, who cares about me and we are just enjoying our wonderful differences. (7519) 21. …smiles at me.

21. …I’m on their good side.

I wake up next to them.

21. …I can really talk to that person.

  1. 21. low maintenance and easy going. 1976

we have a lot to talk about

…I meet one that can hold a conversation, intelligent, passionate about anything, and attractive. Not too uncommon right?

they are cute, sexy, smart, witty, funny, athletic, adventurous, loving, faithful, honest, trusting, creative, and completely sexually fixated on me!

when I can have a conversation with them without worrying about all the tests and agendas that they so often offer.

  1. 21. I actually get to know them. I can stereotype a girl just by looking at her but once I get to know who she really is things change and I usually like the person a lot more.

They are contributing to the betterment of my life and are not only looking out for themselves. 9735 8/28/08

  1. 21. they treat me for my individual and internal processes

rather than my superficial qualities.

  1. 21. I can tell they really care about me because they do or say

special things to me. The best is when a guy just comes out and says "I really like you" without you initiating it. The best words or complement a guy could say are "You look pretty tonight".

  1. 21. they treat me for my individual and internal processes

rather than my superficial qualities.

21. they are nice to me. 9171.

  1. 21 they pay close attention to how I feel.
  1. 21 I get eye contact and a smile.
  1. 21 I am in a healthy relationship, and can interact with a girl on an honest,

meaningful, and intellectual level.

  1. 21. ...they smile when they see me and run up to give me a hug.

Whats more redeeming than that?

  1. 21 I feel like they are being open and honest with me #1. I was

at a club with my friends and I was wearing a shirt with pictures of newspaper ads for call girls on it. The girls on the shirt are very beautiful and thats why I wear it. At the club a girl came up to me and called me a dick for wearing it. I was puzzled. Why would she be mad just because of the shirt I was wearing. I was only wearing it because I like beautiful girls, not to be offensive. She only got mad because she was a girl and I find that stupid and puzzling.

  1. 21. I have a problem and I can

go over to my girlfriends house and tell her everything. Then we can cuddle all night. That is the best.

  1. 21 …I hang out with my best female friends.

21. …they are faithful, true, and committed to you.

21. Prove me wrong. It is very refreshing to be balanced out.

21.… They are accepting of themselves as well as others. When I see a woman who knows who she is, who is confident in who she is, yet at the same time does not think more of herself than others, then I feel like she is living out her life in the best of ways. I do not like to see women put down, yet I also do not like them to be held higher up than anyone else. While I may have stated that the female body surpasses the male body in physical attractiveness, I do not mean to suggest that this makes them superior to males or males superior to females in any other sense. I simply believe in this day and age, a woman who is comfortable with herself is one who has been treated correctly. (9852)

21. I spend one-on-one time with them. (6321)

21. I know I own her and she is understanding. (0475)

21) …they’re happy, more so if you did something to facilitate that happiness. (8879)

21. .... when we enjoy ourselves together intimately through sex or other means of bonding like being alone together. (6867)

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