Fall, 2010 women
RESPONSES FROM THE FALL, 2010 CLASS:
#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling
I was on a date once with a guy who refused to allow me to pay for some of the date. I usually don’t offer to help pay on a date unless it is an extremely expensive evening, which this most definitely could have been classified as. He took me to a nice dinner in Santa Monica where we ate sushi and ordered wine. After the meal I was contemplating on offering to help, but I decided that since he chose the restaurant he must have been planning on spending a lot anyways. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the evening. We continued the date by walking to the pier where we went on three rides and bought cotton candy, accumulating a fortune of costs and expenses. I had never met this young man before a few days ago, so I was worried that he was trying to impress me with his spending habits. When I insisted that I at least pitch in for our escapades on the pier, he declined me, a bit perturbed. I don’t understand why men can be so stubborn, especially when it comes to money and paying for activities. While I did appreciate his generosity, I also felt a bit like a gold-digger trying to see how much I could get him to pay for. Men can be very stubborn at times as well as protective over their mates while courting. I feel as though his actions were meant to make me feel well taken care of while on the date, which in the end is definitely an attractive quality in a man. (5678)
Sometimes, I find it fascinating to view the dynamics of male living arrangements. When it comes to conflict in the residence halls, it is extremely rare to have roommate conflicts among the male rooms compared to that of the female rooms. As someone who works very closely with residents of both sexes it is a fair statement to say that, a majority of roommate/apartment conflicts deal with cleanliness issues. What is most interesting about this is that the male rooms are significantly dirtier than the female rooms and yet there is less problems/drama overall. The statement is puzzling in which how do the male apartments avoid so much conflict when their general situation is in most cases worse than the norm. It is puzzling to observe the dynamics of male roommates and discover the level of passiveness that occurs amongst males. Furthermore, I observe that in most cases the passiveness is so high many little situations normally do not even come up in conversation. How can males be so passive about situations but sometimes be extremely aggressive over simple things? It as if they literally have an on and off switch in relation to life and handling issues. (5386)
1. This question is really difficult to answer because I cannot think of this happening outside of my personal/romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex and so it is hard for me to generalize it to all men. I cannot think of any specific examples but I can say that through my interactions with men I have found that priorities are very different for college men than for college women. I think men are more concerned with short term dating, the current everyday activities and not necessarily having a plan for the future. I think women usually have more long term plans. Also I wonder about weird behaviors men engage in such as using foul language more often than women and drawing penises everywhere. I am not sure what the purpose of either of those things is.
7548 There was one time when I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend whom I hadn’t really talked to in a while and we were just establishing our friendship again. I made a conscious effort to keep a friend boundary. I never touched him physically, I talked about boys I was interested in dating and how I wasn’t interested in serious relationships at all. When he tried to kiss me, I told him I didn’t want that and we need to try to be friends. I also apologized to him if I had somehow given him the wrong impression. When I was done explaining all of this, he agreed with me but then proceeded to talk about how he though we should be together. He basically took the opposite of whatever I said and agreed with it. I felt like I was speaking to an alien where I was completely misunderstood.
9729 There isn’t some specific instance or situation where I’ve been completely confused by a guy’s behavior, although I will say that I don’t entirely understand why guys always seem to insist on resorting to getting in a physical fight with someone they may not even know, and all because of what seems to be the most insignificant comment or remark. Again, I can’t think of a specific instance of this, but over the years I have definitely noticed this trend.
This past three day weekend a huge group of my friends got together for a Mexican food night and margaritas. This group consisted of both males and females. We decided that each person would spend about ten dollars, and bring something for the meal. We also decided the women would cook, if the men would agree to clean up after. The women got there at six and began cooking. The men came about thirty minutes later and were not allowed to interfere in the kitchen, because a lot of our male friends are micro-managers. As they walked in we gave them each a margarita and a bowl with chips and guacamole. As I am chopping the onion and my girl friends are doing other jobs I hear one of the males yell, “Can I have a margarita anytime soon?” Now this does not sound as bad as the tone he said it in. It was as if we had nothing else to do but serve him his margarita. To him we were not in the kitchen cooking away. The girl who was making the margaritas answered as if she was not mad and began to make more. On the other hand a few girl friends of mine and myself mentioned how he asked. She said, “oh well, that’s just Bob.” This happened one more time by the same guy and another time by one of the other males. I believe this is a function of gender on both parts. The women in the kitchen cooking, while the men finished the football game barking orders. It is a typical portrayal of how women and men should be. I found his behavior to be incredibly rude, especially when we are slaving away to make him dinner. The least he could do is ask in a polite way. His motivations must have stemmed from the fact that he was around other “manly men.” This guy is usually really nice, but I feel like he played into the typical football watching, rude male. I also feel like he was egged on indirectly by his other male friends, when they did not do or say anything to correct his behavior. (0937)
6070 I am puzzled by a man’s need to protect his masculinity to a point that he cannot accept when a woman excels in an area that he may not. For example I went running with a guy and happened to out run him which sent him into a fit and he nearly killed himself trying to keep pace with me.
Recently, one of my guy friends had a crush on me, but I did not have any feelings for him. While I thought that we were just friends, he considered every conversation that we had, and every thing I said as something more. He would go behind my back and talk to my roommate and one of my best friends, trying to get her to analyze every word that came out of my mouth. When we would talk, he would put down my friends and consistently talk down on other guys; he even once said bad things about one of our own mutual friends. There were times when he would say disrespectful things to me, thinking he was making fun of me and it was playful banter. I could not understand what his reasoning was behind the things he was saying or how he was acting, but I think it aligns with the idea of guys acting confident. Towards me, he wanted to be in control and act like he was “hot stuff” and would put down other people to make himself look better, but in the end, it made him look stupid and insecure. (2591)
I recall a situation that happened with my boyfriend this summer. This past summer I stayed in LA (as opposed to going home and staying with my family) and it just so happened that most of my friends staying in LA over the summer were guys. I warned my boyfriend of this fact, and whenever he would call me he would hear guy’s voices in the background. After a couple weeks of this, I could sense his irritation and asked him if he was mad that I was hanging out with a bunch of guys all the time. He assured me that it was fine and dropped the subject. After a few more weeks of him being dismissive on the phone with me, I came to the conclusion that maybe he didn’t want to tell me what to do, or he didn’t know how to deal with his jealousy. In the case of my boyfriend, my guess is that he didn’t want to come off as controlling by telling me, “I don’t want you hanging out with anyone male.”Then, school started and my female roommate moved into the house with me and everything was fine, as soon as my boyfriend learned that I was no longer exclusively surrounded by guys. I feel like this situation can be applied to a lot of guys because they don’t really talk about their feelings, and almost always assume that girls and guys can’t be friends. Interestingly, girls will almost invariably say that girls and guys can be friends. A lot of guys don’t trust other guys around their girlfriends, and assume that the guys are only friends with the girl in hopes that they will become more then friends later. (4996)I have noticed from previous interactions with the opposite sex that males often times do not find it a big deal to still be in contact with ex-hookups or ex-girlfriends. When some of my friends or even my boyfriend told me they still talk to girls they hooked up with I found it pretty puzzling especially if it were my boyfriend. I believe this is a function of the male gender because guys tend to be less analytical in regards to reading into their ex-girl friends actions and do not see it to be anything serious, unlike females. Females find it very threatening to their relationship especially if the “ex” is prettier, has a better personality or has better physical/personal characteristics than the current girlfriend has. Whenever I approached one of my friends or my boyfriend on why they continue to talk to their “ex” I would get the response, “I talk to because she is nice and it is easy to talk to her” or “I don’t know what the big deal is, there’s nothing going on there anymore, we’re just friends.” (9982)One thing that I have often found puzzling about the opposite sex is the fact that they avoid confrontational situations and avoid anything that may lead to a serious talk. Although this could go for either gender, it seems that men as a whole dislike confrontation and serious talk more. Since men are more prone to hiding their emotions, they tend to want to avoid anything serious in which they may have to admit to having emotions. Instead of talking things out when they are angry or sad, they bottle it up and wish to be alone. This is something I will never understand about men. (4410)9052 I was in a relationship about a year ago; the male I was with would always want to hang out with his frat brothers more than hanging out with me. It became very frustrating for me and therefore, the relationship had ended. I believe, this action is just a male thing, because most of the women I am around have the same problem with their boyfriends going out with their friends all the time. I am starting to think that most guys have to hang out with their friends so much, to prove how masculine they can be. If the guy spends too much time with the girlfriend than his friends may call him soft, or sprung. This can affect a guy’s masculine ego. Most guys are afraid of their ego being considered not masculine enough, because men do not want to be considered soft. 1.I have never had an experience with the opposite sex that had me completely confused. If I was initially confused about their action, thought about it later would lead me to a reasonable conclusion. I don’t think it was because of gender. (7418)
1. The other day, I asked my guy friend to help me move my mini-fridge from my car to my room upstairs. Of course, he was more than willing to help. However, he would not let me help him carry it. I only asked him for help in the first place because I thought it was a two-person job. But he insisted on carrying it himself, even though it was not an easy task. This situation was confusing to me and I think it reveals several aspects of the male gender’s characteristics or tendencies. I believe that males feel the duty to take care of women and to assist them in things that they cannot do themselves. This is common enough, and is generally just referred to as good manners. However, I also believe that my friend would not let me help because it would demasculinize him in a way. I think males always have to be the stronger gender, and that this is an extremely important and vital necessity that must be met in order for the male to feel secure with their identity. (2541)
1778 1.) I do not have one particular situation in mind but there have been several times over the years when my dad and I have gotten into an argument simply because he was simply being too helpful. Being daddy’s little girl had its pluses and minuses but one of the things that I absolutely couldn’t stand was my dad trying to help me by doing whatever it was for me. Whether it was putting together a toy or cooking something or whatever, my dad would volunteer his help, which was very sweet I might add, but instead of helping me by explaining the steps he would just swoop in and complete the task for me. Granted, I was a stubborn little girl and still am but I never could understand why he had to do it for me. Furthermore, when I asked my mom for help in a similar situation she would explain it to me and let me figure it out on my own, for the most part. I do think that it has a correlation with gender because I have noticed in other males, too. The male ego may have something to do with it, such that they feel it is necessary to show you that they know how to do something you do not. Also, males are usually better at working with their hands than they are at communicating so physically fixing the problem instead of explaining how to may be easier for them. Finally, the male dominance issue may be present (possibly subconsciously), in that they assess the situation as a female in need and they must dominate the situation by fixing it and saving her from her state of need/distress.
#1 I spent two months dating a guy who seemed very emotionally involved in the relationship. He made me feel like I was one of the most important parts of his life and had no problem treating me like his girlfriends. However, when it came to putting a label on the relationship, he became very distant and wanted nothing to do with it. I think this is very characteristic of men having trouble with commitment and the ability to conceptualize being with one partner. (5981)
#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.
#2 Things I like about the opposite sex include a variety things. First and foremost, something I appreciate in the opposite sex includes their protective nature; men like to take charge of dangerous situations and it’ highly important that I feel safe and trusting of a man. Men also tend to be very handy, and manage to always know how to fix things (even if you have to ask them several times). Men tend to be low maintenance; they don’t read too much into things and allow the drama level to remain at a minimum (again, most guys). I appreciate the male physique, which is typically built larger than the female frame. Men are more calm and collected in emotional situations and balance me out. Things I don’t like about men is that they can be overbearing, highly jealous, and sometimes too laid back and not proactive enough. Men also have a difficult time making commitments to things. Men can also be less emotionally and mentally mature than females, which makes it very difficult to find someone on the same level as oneself. (5981)
I like that men can be very strong and helpful in certain situations that involve moving things or putting things together. I also like that they have a good sense of direction and usually know how to get places. Men also can become very nervous around women, which I find very cute. I don’t like how men can often be very controlling or pompus. Men usually think that their way is the right way, and that women are inferior in regards to intelligence. (5678)
9729 Looking at the male sex as a general whole, I like many more qualities in them than I dislike. To list a few, I like that men are easygoing and laidback, non-analytical, active and outdoorsy, protective (in the friendly, looking out for you sense, not the jealous sense), unemotional, simple minded, not consumed by gossip, competitive, straight-forward, and in touch with what they want. On the flipside, I dislike that men are shallow and overly obsessed with their egos – and often insecure as a result.
The attractive qualities of males is a good start to what I enjoy about the opposite sex. Their presence and validation provides a different perspective compared to the opinions and insight of women. Furthermore, the security and courtship they provide are deemed as a benefit as well. Some dislikes about the male sex include that sometimes the apathy received about important issues, lack of hygiene, and possessiveness (or being over-protective) of women. (5386)
7548 I like how men try to teach you how to do things, in a loving constructive way. I’m attracted to men who are protective of women and wish to be their guardians, as long as their motivations do not stemmed from jealousy or insecurity. I love how some men only show their true feelings to women, or talk about their emotions with women because it makes women feel intimate and important.
In general I like the feeling of safety and support most men can give. I like the basic physicality of men especially when they are in shape! I like that most men do not over-dramatize situations and sometimes forgive more easily than women tend to. I like that most men do not speak poorly of each other or gossip. I like that most men seem confident even if they aren’t so much. I dislike that they rely so much on physical attractiveness instead of emotions or attachment to become sexual. I dislike that often times they are insensitive to emotions and contexts of situations. This naivety and lack of attention to detail can be frustrating. I also dislike they way they can or act like they can be emotionally detached in a relationship. I also dislike their lack of emotional expression and creativity.
2.I like the physical structure of the opposite sex. To say much more would be going into specifics that do not apply to all men. I don’t like their inability to communicate, but that is not true of all men either. tricky. (7418)
The thing I like about the opposite sex is their ability to not plan and be spontaneous. I wish I was not so planned out, so I admire this quality. The thing I dislike is they are absolutely oblivious to women’s feelings because they are not like that. They tend to not understand women’s feelings because they do not function as we do. A woman can explain her feelings over and over, and the male can still be like “I don’t know why you are so upset. (0937)” 6070 I like that men are very straight-forward and what they say is what they mean. I dislike that men listen but don’t hear and you have to repeat yourself multiple times. I like that, generally, guys are more dominant and seem more powerful. It gives me the comfort of feeling safe, and it is nice to feel like someone cares enough to want to protect you. Another thing I like about the opposite sex is that they are much more to the point and leave the drama behind. If they have a problem, if they disagree with something or if they have an opinion about something, they speak their mind and they do not make a big deal out of things. Something that I dislike about men is that they sometimes are not invested in conversation. They respond with small short sentences and often do not fully pay attention to what the conversation is about and can be rather inattentive. I also dislike that guys tend to act much differently with their girlfriend than they do with their friends. They put on a macho façade that they aren’t gushy and they aren’t expressing their feelings, while they may be a completely different person when they are with their significant other. (2591)In general, I like that men are protective, handy, assertive, practical, efficient, less emotionally dramatic (not catty), don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t hold grudges, helpful, considerate, funny, caring, and strong. I dislike how men refuse to talk about their feelings in front of females because they think it’s “gay”, the extremely fragile male ego, obsession with sex and “hot” females, temper, hygiene, sloppiness, forgetting details, not listening, always trying to prove that they are a “man”, and how they change in front of their male friends when their girlfriend/wife is present. (4996)I like a male’s companionship and support. The protection and just their presence they provide when they are around makes me feel secure. I also like the fact that men are less dramatic than women. They do not look too much into details and if they ever get into a fight with one of their friends they are both over it and back to being friends within a couple hours. I also like how men are direct with other men and women. Men do not beat around the bush. However, it also becomes a dislike because sometimes when men are direct they do not think about what they’re saying before they say it and what they say can come out the wrong way and hurt the other person’s feelings. Another thing I’ve noticed about men that I don’t like is how they jump into conclusions and assume things during a normal conversation. (9982)Since I am attracted to the opposite sex, I obviously like their physical appearances and body structures. But besides that, I like how men are not overly dramatic. They can usually stay calm and control their emotions more easily than women. Also, men do not gossip as often about others, and do not hold grudges against people as much as women. I like that men are gentlemanly and are respectful to women. I do not like how men bottle their emotions and put on a “poker face” that is hard to read. I do not like how they view women as inferior in different aspects such as careers or how we drive! I do not like that they are less sympathetic and are not easy to vent to about something that is stressful. (4410) 9052 In a general sense, the things I like about the opposite sex are: how active most men are such as sports, they can be handy with fixing things around the house, and they are carefree. Most men are not bothered by small situations. For example, a girl would worry about her friends not liking what she may have on, and must guys don’t care about what other guys wear. I like how must guys are protective makes us girls feel safe. On the flipside, the few things I dislike about men are: since they seem to live carefree they may not know when to care and when not to care. For example, girls may want a guy to care about something that is very serious to them such as picking out really nice curtains to go inside of their home. Most men can carless about the color of curtains within their home. I also dislike a guy’s manly ego as I mention before. I do not like how most men do not like to express their feelings. 2. I like that males are stronger than us. I like that they are overly confident, sometimes to a fault. I like that males can throw on shorts and a t-shirt and be ready for the day. I like their boyish energy – always running, jumping, diving, sweating, laughing. I like males’ metabolisms. I like how males are significantly funnier than us. I like that males don’t care. I like how males don’t worry about the myriad of things we worry about every day. I dislike that males fault us for “being such a girl.” Other than that, I can appreciate the faults that males have. (2541)
2.) The opposite sex is great because it provides companions who are unique, in that the connection and friendship you have with a male friend is different than the one you have with a female friend. This type of companionship sometimes leads into a relationship which is another great thing about them, but sometimes it remains just a special friend. The opposite sex is very comforting because of the stature they have and the respect they command. I always feel safer going somewhere or even being home at night if there is a male accompanying me. I am attracted to the opposite sex, so I like the many physical things about them that generate this attraction, such as: body type, facial features, muscles, hair, eyes, etc. I am also attracted to the personality type and sense of humor. Lastly, I like the way the opposite sex makes me feel when they love me and I love them; in particular, the way they express their love for me in interesting and creative ways. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things I do not like about the opposite sex. I am not at all fond of the excessively large egos males carry around and their insistence on proving themselves to other males. They are difficult to communicate with in most situations so it is frustrating trying to get to the bottom of issues or their feelings.
#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?
One thing that the males most misunderstand about females is that they don’t have the same desires as them; whether it be in relation to sex or the ability to openly discuss bodily functions/things that are characteristic of being HUMAN. (5981)
Men tend to think that women are all very emotional and can get attached very easily. On the contrary, I know a lot of girls who are the complete opposite, and very “manly” in the way they view relationships. If a girl is not super girly and dependent they are often seen as being man-like. The truth is that it varies among girls how needy they can be. I am personally a girl who does not need to be babied by a man. (5678) 756663 That all women are different and men should focus on the women they have around them to learn their likes and dislikes instead of stereotyping women and treating them the way you think they want to be treated.
One important issue is that males tend to think that women are too emotional and irrational if they have a firm stance on an issue. It is true that emotions have a strong bearing in our lives however just because we may be more expressive does not mean that we are being too irrational. I feel that they misinterpret women’s viewpoints on issues and immediately jump to conclusions that women are emotional wrecks that cannot be helped. Sometimes I feel that it can be combated by understanding the stance from which we come such that we vent and process situations in a different manner and over-analyzing occurs as a protective measure from being too vulnerable in certain instances. (5386) 9729 I think that men most commonly misunderstand women’s overly analytical minds. Even as a woman myself, I do not understand women’s obsession with analyzing every situation down to its core, even though I listen to such conversations every day. With that being said, it is entirely understandable that men wouldn’t understand this attribute in most women – because generally, the women doing the overanalyzing cannot even logically break down their analyses.
Men think that women are overtly and irrationally emotional, when really men are equally irrational with their emotions i.e. physical fights, checking out of conversations, or avoidance. Women and men just express their emotions in different ways.
3. males consistently misunderstand female menstrual cycles. Every girl gets it, why do tampon and pad advertisers want us to hide it by making their products smaller? Get over it. (7418)
The biggest misunderstanding is that we are picky and overbearing. If a woman is overbearing it is simply because she cares about a male, not because she wants to control him. Woman care way more than males, and sometimes this comes off as being overbearing and picky to males because they are not like this at all. (0937) 6070 Men most misunderstand a woman’s need feel appreciated and not neglected but on to a man’s credit they understand most a woman’s need to feel safe and secure. I think the one major thing that males misunderstand about females is what we expect from them as far as expressing their feelings. It isn’t ever about talking about every single thing that is on their mind and knowing exactly what they’re thinking about every second of every day. In menial conversation, it is okay for guys to just talk as if it were a normal conversation with one of their friends. It only matters when the conversation is about something extremely important and require more attention, then it is appropriate to express their feelings. (2591)Men misunderstand how important it is to daily compliment and reassure their girlfriend/wife that she is attractive to them or looks pretty. Women are judged harshly on their looks and often have to live up to the impossibly high standards of Playmates and runway models. Why else do most girls have an arsenal of makeup, shoes, purses, clothes, etc? (4996) I would say our reasons for feeling upset or sad. I feel that whenever women feel a certain emotion besides happy we always get the response, “Oh well she’s just PMS-ing right now.” Yes, there are times women may over-react but there are also times we have justification for feeling a certain way and it isn’t because we are “PMS-ing.” (9982I believe that the aspect of women that men misunderstand the most is that women can be rational and are not ticking bombs that can be upset over anything. Often times, I will bring up a certain conversation and the opposite sex will automatically think that I am upset and react accordingly. This is not always the case and the opposite sex should not jump to conclusions until they actually listen to what a woman is saying! (4410) 9052 I think most males misunderstand females’ kindness for weakness. In other words, most males believe if a woman is just genuinely nice to him, that he may think he can walk all over all. Maybe not give her the respect that she deserves. 3. I think the one thing that males most misunderstand about females is that they are usually just trying to get attention from the opposite sex. (2541) 1778
3.) Males do not seem to understand why we are so close to our girlfriends and want to spend so much time with them. Females like to spend time together just amongst each other for no other reason than we like their company and to share a common perspective. Males often perceive this time and relationship as our friends being more important than them but that is not true. Guys don’t seem to be nearly as close to their friends as girls, in that their friends are usually less needy. They can hang out with them every day or once a month and very little will change in their friendship. On the other hand, females need to do more things together or at least keep in closer touch to maintain a good friendship. Males tend to misunderstand this concept because it does not relate closely to their experience so they make false attributions about it.
#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?
Anytime I feel particularly attracted to someone, it is usually because they have both the qualities I would look for in a friend and a partner. If I am to be attracted to someone, they must have a really good sense of humor, and understand my sense of humor. They have to be able to carry an intelligent conversation with me, as well as a completely silly and mindless conversation. I need to feel safe and wanted. If a guy does not openly show interest in me, I typically do not formulate any type of attraction to them (I guess you could say that I like being liked). One of the most important factors that has ever attracted me to a guy is my ability to feel comfortable with them; the biggest turn off is when a guy still doesn’t realize that girls poop too. (5981)
There was a boy who I liked in high school who was very attractive to me in different ways. He was strong and built, with a large upper body. He wasn’t especially handsome, but the way he carried himself was very attractive to me. Being loud and funny in social situations, Chad always made people laugh around him. I loved how outgoing he was, and he always let everyone know around us how attracted he was to me. The fact that he gave me admiration in social situations about my outward appearance was very appealing to me because I enjoyed the positive attention. (5678)
I think it was because I found the person to be friendly to me and made me laugh. I also found that person to be interesting to get to know and I like their physical appearance. I think the biggest thing that made me attracted was the way they treated me.
9729 The single most important factor that attracts me to a guy is their ability to simultaneously be endearing and funny. Just having the ability to be one or the other generally does not impress me enough to actually feel attracted to a guy in some way or another. Their ability to be concurrently endearing and funny essentially eliminates the crude- or degrading-funny factor that I find completely unattractive.
There can be multiple reasons for attractiveness, those relating to the physical characteristics and/or personality traits. When meeting someone for the first time there can be an instant attraction to their physical characteristics such as hair, clothes, body structure, etc. Those qualities are important however, what is heavily factored in also is the personality and mannerisms of the male. If he is kind, fun, intelligent, and humorous there is a greater attraction to the male than just given the physical characteristics. I feel a reason for this is that a person’s physical characteristics can change given time; however, there core being and personality generally does not fluctuate and if they are obnoxious then it is very difficult to deal with that person. (5386)
7548 I find a man attractive that is quietly confident. He doesn’t have to over compensate his masculinity by being very loud or forward. I like men that are sure of themselves and comfortable in their own skin. I find height attractive (men that are taller) because it’s shows an element of protectiveness, someone who could easily hold me, or shield me from potentially danger. I like guys who are very social and that can easily talk to both men and women. I also am attracted to intelligence because it shows that he’s ambitious and knowledgeable, which could also tie into protectiveness. I enjoy a man who can show affection without feeling embarrassed or “emasculated”.
The characteristics that attracted me to this particular person include outgoing, funny, kind, handsome, muscular, spontaneous, independent, confident but not cocky, intelligent, had goals, and different from the “typical” male. The characteristic that attracted me to this person the most was his self-confidence. He carried himself very well, but not in a way that was too much. You can just tell he was comfortable with who he was and was not interested in changing to fit in. (0937) 6070 I am most attracted to intelligence and when I see a man that shows genuine intellectual interest I find it to be very attractive 4.Physical appearance is the first attractor for me. Personality comes second initially, but soon replaces looks. If the male doesn’t have a personality that meshes with what I want, then no matter how good looking he is, I don’t want him.(7418)
While I can deny that physical attractiveness is something that draws me to the opposite sex, it is something that sparks that immediate connection. It is not always the most important thing, but when I am attracted to someone of the opposite sex, it tends to be the first thing that catches my eye. However, the thing that keeps me hooked is their personality and their confidence. Someone who is social, funny and is easy to talk to, is something that I am drawn to. When it comes to confidence, I like guys who are not worried about looking cool or what other people think, they do their thing because it is who they are. (2591)
Initially, when I barely know someone but find them attractive, the characteristics that attract me are physical appearance and looks (because I don’t know their personality). Once I get to know the guy, I then evaluate him on his dating potential based on his personality and less on his looks. While physical attractiveness is fairly important, it’s not the most important thing. It’s not like you can just stare at your hot boyfriend all day- once in a while he does need to say something coherent. I am most attracted to guys who are friendly and helpful, like if they offer to drive me somewhere or pick me up from the airport. (4996) I was first attracted to my boyfriend because of how easy it was to talk to him. Him and I would have conversations about almost anything, previous relationships, our families, things we liked to do, etc. From those conversations we found things we both had in common and in time we found each other becoming more and more comfortable with each other. During that time we were both able to see each other’s personalities and the type of people we really are. From that point on, even though I already was attracted to him it was his personality that just continued and continues to grasp my attention. (9982)
When I first met the person in mind, obviously the first thing I was attracted to was his physical appearance. The next thing that I liked about this particular person was that he was forward and kept pursuing me, even though I was a bit standoffish at first. This showed that he was very interested. Sense of humor is the next thing that got me, as it was very similar to my own sense of humor and therefore made him very easy to get along with. Confidence is another key trait, and how interested the person was in my life and in getting to know me. (4410)
9052 Well besides being attracted to the opposite sex physical features. I am attracted to how people really respected him, and the level of leadership he possessed when it came to school, his job, and in organizations. I was attracted to how I can learn from him and the amount of knowledge he had acquired. 4. Thinking about the last time I was attracted to the opposite sex, I realize that the main characteristic that attracted me to him was his confidence. First and foremost, the guy must have the confidence to approach me and show me that he is comfortable enough with himself to not be nervous talking with me. His confidence has to provide the relaxed and natural atmosphere that I want when talking to a guy. After I realized that this particular guy that I met had self-confidence, I also recognized that he was funny. Actually he was hilarious, and we had the same sense of humor. These two characteristics are a “must-have” for me. (2541) 1778
4.) Someone who is self-confident automatically strikes my attention. Beyond that there are several characteristics that determine how attracted I am towards them. Physical appearance is definitely an important factor because we rely so much on our eyes to gather information. Just by looking at someone my mind makes judgments without my conscious control which influences whether or not I am attracted to the person. Also, the things they have to say (intelligent or not) and their natural personality are important in making my decision. Although these are not interchangeable, in that if one is really strong it can make up for one that is absent, I do think that some can compensate for slight deficiencies in others, i.e. great personality and sense of humor can make up for being a little less attractive than preferred. Finally, the way the person acts towards me makes a huge difference in how attracted I am to them, however, this does not always apply because I have been attracted to someone from afar before I ever had any interactions with him.
#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?
Strengths of the opposite sex include the ability to keep it cool; they tend to have the ability to hide when things bother them (though this may be considered a weakness in certain situations if it hinders their ability to accomplish what they want). Men are also physically stronger, which gives them the upper hand in certain situations. Weaknesses include an inability to communicate effectively. While men may know what they need or want, they don’t necessarily always know HOW to get what they want. Men have trouble verbally communicating in a direct, precise manner that conveys exactly what they’re looking for. (5981)
1. Men are very good at sports and athletic events. They don’t hold grudges when it comes to personal situations or emotion, because they are able to get out all of their aggression during sports. Men can easily compete while still respecting their opponent. Girls usually find other reasons to hate their opponents and get too emotionally involved.
One negative thing about men is that they can be way too aggressive in situations where sublety is key. One example of this is when boys throw a party at their house that gets out of hand, and the police come. Boys often think its ok to talk back to the cops who are giving them orders, because they don’t want to seem less dominant than the cops. Women on the other hand, will usually act respectfully towards the cops because they don’t want to seem disrespectful. (5678)
I think a strength men have is being able to provide a sense of safety and reliance on them. I think a weakness is their naivety in terms of emotional sensitivity or understanding.
I feel that a strength of the male sex is their ability to have self-confidence in themselves more so than women. In addition, their lack of thought can help them to assess a situation without much effort and therefore provide simple solutions to situations that have been taken to an extreme. Some weaknesses include their inability to communicate effectively and jump to irrational conclusions if a member of the opposite sex is displaying negative emotions. (5386)
9729 I think that men’s strengths lie in their easygoing vibes, aversion to gossip, and straight-forwardness. Their weaknesses lie in their ego obsession and inability to look past the physical appearances of women.
Men’s strengths are being physically bigger and stronger than most women, their ability to want to fix practical situations, whether it is a problem or an object. Men generally want to be in charge and most women expect them to be in charge. Men’s’ weaker characteristics are their inability to completely empathize with another person’s emotions. Men are trained not to delve into complex emotions, or at least openly discuss their complex emotions.
Some strengths of the opposite sex are: they are more relaxed, they are spontaneous, they are handy around the house, and they are less inclined to have drama. Some weaknesses include: they are oblivious, a lot of times they do not see anyone’s opinion but their own, they have this manly ego they have to live up to, they will complain when women do something (spend money) but when they do it, it is acceptable and they are stubborn. (0937) 6070 A man’s strength is his ability to think more practically with a detachment from emotional hindrances but this strength is a catch 22 because his inability to be emotional attached is his weakness. 5. the strengths of males are their literal body strength, and their aggression. Weaknesses lie in their inability to communicate, especially about their feelings. (7418)
Like we discussed in class, I think one strength of men is their actual strength and their handiness. They are the ones that I automatically think of calling when I need help fixing a light bulb, putting together furniture or fixing something around my apartment. Some of the weaknesses of the opposite sex would have to be their inability to feel like they have any responsibility when it comes to the domestic area. I have seen it with my own family, my mom works full time but is still responsible for getting dinner together, cleaning up after and doing all of the laundry. Another weakness that men have is their stubbornness and their hesitation when it comes to asking for help or for directions when they are wrong. It may be a stereotype, but I have seen it with my own family members and my guy friends, they have to be “the man”, and that would mean not asking for directions or help in certain situations. (2591)
The strengths and weaknesses of men are similar to question 2. To add on, the main strength of men is to handle stress and high-conflict situations without emotion and passion, and to address them with reason and practicality instead. The main weakness of men is their unhealthy preoccupation with female bodies and sex, instead of other important aspects in a relationship like talking or shared activities. (4996) Men’s strengths would be the fact that they do not gossip. If a man ever has a problem with one of his friends or even his girlfriend, it’s rare that men will ever have an in depth conversation about it. It is also rare for men to talk crap about their own friends because of what he was wearing or how he was acting. I feel that if men were ever to have a problem with someone or just didn’t like a person, they wouldn’t be the type to spread rumors about that individual. Also, men are not interested in knowing about everyone’s business whereas females often thrive for knowing about everyone’s business. The weaknesses of men would be their incompetence and constantly having to repeat something to them. I’ve seen this in my own dad, male friends and ex-boyfriends. This may happen because it is of different importance levels in comparison to females but I feel that if women ever need help from a man and if there’s a football, basketball or baseball game going on at the same time, the men wouldn’t help till the game was over. (9982)
Men’s strengths are that they are good at remaining calm and not letting their emotions control them, they are much braver than women, and they generally have better senses of humor than women, and can laugh at life more easily. Their weaknesses are that they feel that it is weak to show emotion in any situation, that they are more inclined to be physically aggressive, and that they often have more sexual partners and less men want to settle down in a monogamous relationship than women. (4410)
A strength of the opposite sex is how most men are great leaders and protectors of the household and his family. With being the leader I believe it can also be a weakness as well. Most men tend to abuse the power of being a leader, and can therefore become controlling of their families. Controlling can lead to the man being abusive to his family. 5. I think that males’ strengths are that they are taught to be self-assured, or to fake it if they aren’t. I also think one of their strengths is their directness. They don’t waste time or words, and they hardly beat around the bush. However, along with directness, men tend to not talk a lot. Men are never taught that it is good to communicate their thoughts or feelings. It is sometimes even looked down upon when men are too expressive of their emotions. They are looked at as weak and maybe even feminine. But I think it is a crucial part of life to express your thoughts and talk about problems with other people. (2541) 1778
5.) The strengths of the opposite sex revolve mostly around physical and mental ability. I think that men have the potential to be very physically and mentally fit with some more ease than females (although this is not absolute). These strengths allow them to create a successful life for themselves and build a good, strong character. The flip side of this coin is what I think is the most common weakness in males. Males who do not utilize and maximize their strength and intelligence are falling victim to one of the strongest male weaknesses – motivation. It seems as though there is a lack of motivation in a lot (definitely not all) of men, especially those who are in the earlier part of their lives. This lack of motivation leads to a slow process or unfinished process of growing up and creating a good, successful life. When this occurs it seems like such a waste, and unfortunately it happens all too often in males.
#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.
Unfortunately, there have been several situations in which I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I have a tendency to be overly accommodating and forgiving and guys seem to know how to take advantage of that. I have been in several relationships where men have lead me to believe that I am extremely important to them, only to hear a couple months later that they don’t want a commitment. This is after I have poured immense amounts of my time and emotional energy, only for it to be unreciprocated and forgotten. I have been flaked on, had to pay the dinner bill, kept waiting, and literally abandoned (at gas station when the guy I was dating got a flat tire..he assumed I could get a ride, even though we were 30 minutes from where I lived). He didn’t think twice about the fact that I was a woman alone, in an unfamiliar place. (5981)
1. Men can be very rude and insensitive. When I was taking my driver’s test when I was 16, the instructor was a very rude man who kept making sexist remarks about women drivers. As a young girl who was already nervous about my driving abilities, the way this man spoke is still able to upset me. I was very hurt by this man because he didn’t seem to take into account my emotional needs. I could have used some kind words of encouragement during this stressful time, but he instead insulted my abilities with rude remarks. (5678)
Yes, in elementary school the girls weren’t allowed to play certain sports because they didn’t want us to get hurt. I was given the easier assignments in a group presentation once because the men thought they could do the more difficult tasks better.
I often feel generalized and/or stereotyped if I am having a bad day and am not in a pleasant mood, that automatically I am considered an emotional wreck or distraught woman for the sole fact that what went wrong meant something to me. Specifically what had occurred was that it was a day from hell in which everything went wrong and I was in a negative mood and was not satisfied by anything. So therefore, that one negative mood was attributed to my being extremely moody and absurd for feeling that way. This male never stopped to ask or even try to understand what type of day I had and just attributed it to being my hormones that made me upset, when it wasn’t true. (5386)
9729 This may be a stretch of the word “unfair,” but revolves around biases and stereotypes. A recent IT class I took at LMU had 4 girls and 3 guys enrolled – a ratio uncharacteristic of the IT department at LMU and IT industry as a whole. Aside from 1 guy who had a substantially larger amount of experience and knowledge, the remaining 6 of us entered into the technically challenging course with roughly the same amount of prior knowledge and know-how. During one class session where all 7 of us were working on an in-class assignment, the 3 guys took it upon themselves to “take over” the assignment explaining to us that essentially, they were better equipped as men to complete it successfully on their own than if we were to help them.
7548 I have had a boyfriend in the past apply rules to our relationship that do not apply to him simply because I am a girl, such as not being able to stay in contact with an ex-boyfriend or wearing revealing clothing.
A time when I was treated unfairly by the opposite sex is when I went mountain biking with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is really into mountain biking, and I am fairly good because my family has gone to Mammoth every summer for a while now. During summer he joined in on a group who went on weekly rides, a little harder than I could probably do. I went out to visit him one week and we decided to go for a bike ride. He wanted to go on this trail called Hurky Creek, but I decided against it because it was above my level. I wanted the ride to be attainable and fun; I tend to get grumpy when it’s hard and I walk half of it. So he took me on another ride and we came to this one part where it was steep and there was no path really. I got off my bike and began to walk it. Well my boyfriend did not think was acceptable and got mad at me. He told me that I underestimate myself and should try going down it. I responded with, “I am not one of your guy friends, I cannot necessarily do everything they can.” Then he continued to lecture me. I felt as if he was being unfair. Most girls would not even get on the damn bike. He should have been happy that I would even go and bike with him. I felt under appreciated. (0937) 6070 I have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex when at the workplace. I have been belittled and constantly questioned because of my sex as if my opinions andwork is somehow inferior to a man. 6.in 5th grade I wanted to play capture the flag, so I asked all my friends (including boys) if they wanted to play. The boys planned a game on their own and said that no girls were allowed to play. I played anyways.(7418)
I remember in high school, I was on vacation in Hawaii with some family friends. A lot of our time was spent at the beach but I have an extreme hatred of sand. When we would walk through the beach, I would have a look of disgust on my face and he immediately called me “Hollywood” to poke fun at me. From then on, he would constantly call me “Hollywood” at anytime that he seemed fitting. If I left my sunglasses on when I walked into a room, if I got something new or even if I acted picky. I thought it was really unfair that because I was a girl, anything I did from that moment on, it was considered high maintenance. I am sure that if I were a guy, that would never even have been an issue. (2591)While girls are guiltier of expecting guys to read their mind, men also expect girls to know exactly what they are thinking, especially in the sphere of emotions relating to a romantic relationship. This happened to me in question 1, when my boyfriend just expected me to know that he didn’t want me hanging out with other guys (but without him saying anything). (4996) I have been treated unfairly by men when it comes to wanting to play an outdoor game/sport with them. There have been many times this has occurred from when I was 7 years old in elementary school till now a 21 year old in college. Every time I have wanted to play with the guys I would be treated differently, either I’d be the last to be chosen for dodge ball or when I would ask if I could play with them their response would be, “Oh yea on the next timeout” but I’d never get a chance to play unless one of the guys didn’t want to play anymore but that was rare. Even now too, a couple weeks ago there were a group of guys playing ultimate frizz bee and when I asked if I could play with them they said they had an “intense” game going on and didn’t need any more players. I feel that this happens because I am a woman and because of that men feel that women may be inadequate to perform at the same level as men during sports. (9982)
One time that I can think of goes back to middle school. Our physical education teacher was very sexist and favored the boys over the girls greatly. He would often imply that men would always be more athletic than women, which may be true because of physical structure; however, he would often work with the boys more often because of their athleticism. When I joined the coed flag football team, he would never let me or any of the girls play, nor would he even make an effort to coach us to become better. He would always favor the boys over the girls, and the girls were left untrained on the sidelines. I felt that this was sexist and unfair. (4410)
I was dating this one guy, when we first started to do he was single. I had assumed he was single the entire time we dated. Until I found out that he had a girlfriend. I asked the guy why did he not tell me that he was dating someone else. The guy replied that since I didn’t ask if he was dating someone else he didn’t feel the need to tell me, because I didn’t ask him. I felt I was treated unfairly, because of the lack of communications. I saw the situation as the guy was lying to me, well misleading me to believe one thing. He saw as well I didn’t ask and there was no real reason for him to tell me since I was not his girlfriend. 6. I find that many of the times that I am treated unfairly by the opposite sex is in regards to my boyfriend and his friends. It is never an outright act or something they say, but there is always the feeling that they don’t want me there. This is not because they don’t like me or because I don’t like them, but it is because I am dating their friend and taking away from the time they get to spend with him. They want him to be single. This creates a really uncomfortable atmosphere every time I hang out with them. This is unfair both to me and my boyfriend. (2541) 1778
6.) I used to work in a retail store that sold fly fishing gear and booked guided fly fishing trips. Males, who would call the store or even come in to ask questions about fishing, equipment, etc., would always ask to speak to someone else. They made a judgment about me being a girl, working in that industry and assume that I did not know the answers to their questions. In most cases, they were wrong. I have been fishing all my life and my dad owned the store so I had acquired a lot of knowledge over the years. Unfortunately for the, most of the males I encountered at this job became rather embarrassed when I did answer their questions or they got confirmation from one of my male coworkers that I did indeed give them the right information. I never let this bother me because I dealt with it most of my life, so I was used to it but looking back on it now makes me realize that what they were doing (assuming) wasn’t fair to me.
#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.
I have been luck enough to date a few decent guys that value the company of a woman and DON’T take it for granted. My last boyfriend was very reciprocative and always went a little above and beyond what I asked of him. Anytime I needed to fix, assemble, or set something up he always took care of it for me. He was extremely patient with me and always waited for me or kept me company when I needed to run errands. If I cooked him dinner, he would make a gourmet three course meal. It is extremely important for a guy to reciprocate or even go the extra mile in order to make a girl feel special. (5981)
When I was in Europe this summer in Barcelona, a group of men at a restaurant where my friends and I were eating sent us a note and wine to our table. The note was very nice and flattering, as well as the gesture itself. Because of our gender, the table of men sent us alcohol and roses all night long. It was obvious that they were attracted to us, and even though it became borderline creepy by the end of the meal, we still felt flattered. (5678)
Yes, I went to an all female high school and the male teachers would let their female students go to restroom pretty much whenever they wanted because they assumed the female student was menstruating and they didn’t really know what all that meant. Whereas the female teachers didn’t let the female students go as often because they didn’t really consider that idea at all and if so they know what it is and that you usually don’t have to go to the restroom every class session.
A typical time when I have been treated well was when in social situations and with friends to help boost my trust and confidence in the other sex by saying compliments to my physique and/or personality. Secondly, I have been treated well once they knew that I held some position of power that was equally important to them that they started to pay closer attention to me. (5386)
9729 Aside from the obvious instances of chivalrous men attending to women, including opening doors, pulling out chairs, offering to help carry something, and so on, I wouldn’t say that I can think of an instance of being treated particularly well by a guy that wasn’t my very close friend or significant other (unless it was the drunk at the bar offering to buy drinks thinking that he was smooth and would have a chance just for buying a $7 drink. My close guy friends have always treated me very well – whether it is because I am a girl or because I am their friend and they care about me/my wellbeing, I can’t really discern. The same goes for past and current boyfriends.
7548 Once, I was hired at job by a man who only hired women. This made me feel attractive on one level, but I also felt as though my persona was devalued or wasn’t considered important.
Last year for my twenty first birthday my sister organized a girl’s trip to Vegas. When in Vegas we went to get some of those tall drinks you can carry all over and we met a guy who promoted clubs. He told us that if you had 10 beautiful girls and 1 guy you could wait all night to get into a club, but if you had only 10 pretty girls then you would get in to the club with no problem and probably free. That night we went to XS and we got to the front of the line, paid no entrance fee, and got a complimentary bottle of Grey Goose. The night before we had been waiting in line and began socializing with the fellows behind us. After an hour of waiting, we asked the bouncer when we could get in and he asked if we were with the guys we had been talking to. We replied, “no” and he let us in instantly telling us that we could have been in an hour ago. This happens all the time at bars. It is possible to go out and not spend a dime if you’re a girl. (0937)
6070 Treatment by the opposite sex has conversely been positive when I have applied for jobs. I have been hired by the opposite sex solely because I am an “attractive” female. 7. No specific issues, just standard “ladies first” etiquette on the bus or when opening a door(7418)
I recently spent some time studying abroad in the UK, and my friend introduced me to a guy who was from the area. When we got together, he would always ask me if I need anything, he bought me and my friend drinks and would constantly check if I was okay or if I wanted to step outside. I think the main reason that I was treated so well was because in the situation, I was a girl and he was being an English gentleman. (2591)
Gentleman usually open the doors for me, carry heavy groceries, let me walk on the sidewalk farthest from the road, and fix clogged drains, garage doors that are too loud, screen doors that don’t shut all the way, etc. Through a good upbringing most guys are fairly polite to girls because they are socially trained to be. (4996) When I was little my dad would tell me that whenever I’m out with a guy and if we were to be walking around, the man should be walking on the outside of the sidewalk (closest to the street) instead of the inside of the sidewalk (closest to the buildings). I never realized many men to do this when I was out with them until a few months ago, I was walking in Santa Monica with my boyfriend and I was on the outside of the sidewalk walking and he was on the inside, without me saying anything to him he switched spots with me, putting him on the outside now. When I asked him why he did that he said that that’s how he was raised, to be a gentleman and it’s the right thing to do because women should not be walking closest to the street. This is the most recent experience I’ve had of being treated well by men because it is something rare that not many men do. (9982)
I went on a second date with a guy that I was starting like. He took me to a sushi restaurant, and we had a great time talking and eating for about two hours. When the bill came, I caught a glimpse and saw we had managed to eat $80 worth of sushi. I insisted multiple times that he at least let me split the bill because it was about twice the cost of a normal college student date, but he told me that he was going to pay it all because he had wanted to take me out. I feel that it is a very gentlemanly of a guy to pay for the first couple of dates, and it shows me that he really cares about what I think of him. (4410)
I remember one particular time that the opposite treated me very well, by buying me gifts such as flowers, candy, and jewelry. Always taking me out to dinner and movies. One particular time I remember the opposite sex just being a good listener and giving me really good advice about a situation I was in. It was one of the greatest pieces of advice. 7. An example of when I was treated particularly well by the opposite sex was when I recently went to a reception with my (female) friend and we were meeting my two (male) coworkers there. As soon as we got there the guys went and bought us drinks. Throughout the party they continued to buy us drinks and even order appetizers. This might have been expected if the guys were trying to hit on us, but this is not the kind of relationship we have at all. They were simply just trying to be nice. I think that the guys felt a duty to take care of us because we are female. (2541)
7.) Most times I walk into a store where there is a male working I get greeted, helped, and talked to a lot more than males who enter the store. This phenomenon is more exaggerated when it is a sporting goods store or auto repair store or something along those lines where female customers are definitely the minority. I think the intrigue of a girl being interested in “male stuff” is part of the reason for the intensified reaction, as well as the males workers thinking that I need more help in a “man’s store.” When the male workers in these situations are polite and respectful in their comments and actions then I am tolerant and just accept that it is something I have to deal with. However, I get easily irritated and disgusted when they take it too far and are not respectful.
#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?
The most atrocious thing a guy has ever done to me occurred about a year ago with a guy who I thought I could trust and rely on. I had planned a really nice day for us to spend together; I drove us around to everywhere we went and was extremely patient with him, even when he did things that would have drove any other girl crazy. We got back his apartment and I started to have a migraine headache. I didn’t want him to touch or kiss me and I just wanted to sleep it off. I asked if we could go and get dinner, thinking it might make me feel better to eat. We went to eat dinner, he insisted on paying and when we returned home I still felt sick. I went back to sleep and got woken up at 3 in the morning and was kicked out of his apartment because I refused to sleep with him. I was accused of being a typical, lying, deceitful girl who used bate and switch to get him to buy me dinner. He had an expectation that buying me dinner meant sex and when I didn’t fulfill his expectations, I was kicked out and forced to drive home for 45 minutes in the middle of the night with a blinding headache. He could have simply let me sleep and never called me again, rather than forcing me into a dangerous situation. I felt unsafe being in his house after the way he reacted (he used physical dominance), and I was forced me to leave. (5981)
1. I was rejected by the opposite sex in 6th grade. I liked this boy who obviously didn’t like me back, but the whole class knew I liked him. As a group of my friends and I were walking back to the classroom from PE, Dedrik turned around and yelled in front of everyone, “You know I don’t like you right?” It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, not only because I was rejected but also because it involved public humiliation. I was very shy for a few years after that only because I was so nervous of getting rejected on that level again. He could have done it privately in a much nicer way. (5678)
They rejected me by lying behind my back and being untruthful to his word. Instead of actually dealing with the situation, it was handled in such a roundabout way nothing was ever solved. The behavior was rude because he did not have the stamina enough to actually talk through the situation and deal with what was wrong but rather let it go with no problem. It made me feel foolish for being with someone so immature that they could not have a rational discussion and conclusion to what was. I would have liked to talk things through and end them civilly instead of hearing things through other people and ending is as such. (5386) 9729 The only real instance where someone rejected me was in my junior year of high school, where a long-time best friend of mine rejected me when I said that I wanted to start dating him. The situation of course was more complicated than that, and prior to him rejecting me, I had actually rejected him after he said the same thing to me. Of course it wasn’t until after he started dating someone else a few weeks later that I decided to tell him I actually wanted to start dating him. Very high school, I know. Because we were so close, the rejection wasn’t in any way inconsiderate, rude, or insensitive, but there was much frustration between both of us (mostly revolving around me because I had waited to tell him how I felt until he was with somebody else). We talked about it for quite a while. I of course was upset, but understanding, and to this day we still remain very close friends.
7548 I met a man at club setting who I was attracted to, and I also felt was attracted to me. We had an exciting night where we danced, flirted and kissed but a week later when I tried to contact him he completely disregarded my advances to keep in contact. This made me feel like our interaction or attraction was not genuine. It made me feel as though I meant nothing to him as individual and his advances towards me the first night we met were completely sexual and only pursued that night as an attempt to some how sleep with me.
Throughout high school I liked this guy who was a real winner. For some reason during teenage years, girls love to go after guys who need saving and who tend to be assholes (excuse my language). Anyways, he would hang out with me and tell me all this stuff that I wanted to hear. But when it came down to dating each other he would never settle down (should have been a huge red flag). One time at a football game junior year he asked me out, finally, and I accepted. He rejected me by going out that night to the after party and kissing another girl. His behavior was clearly unacceptable, rude, inconsiderate, and insensitive. This was the final straw and I finally was able to cut him out of my life completely, even as a friend. This made me feel embarrassed, completely belittled, and upset. He could have simply stated that he liked me but did not want a serious relationship or just have been honest with me. This would have still upset me but at least I would have respected his honesty and possibly kept him around as a friend. (0937) 6070 I have been rejected by the opposite sex but we both were friends prior to the rejection and both realized we were better off as friends. We still remain friends today. 8. the rejections I have experienced have been very non-confrontational. We went from hanging out to not hanging out without an explanation. I always was the one instigating things. I finally just had to ask what the problem was, and force out of him why he kept avoiding me. If he had simply said “we should just be friends” that would have been a reasonable, no stress way of dealing with it.(7418)
I was once talking to a guy and we were in the process of getting to know each other, we weren’t dating but it was clear that we both were attracted to one another. At one point, he just stopped talking to me and we never saw each other, I later found out that he was seeing someone that I had introduced him to. I felt rejected, humiliated and thought he was being a jerk. If he felt like there wasn’t anything there anymore, he should have just told me the truth instead of cutting off all communication. (2591)
In general, guys are very direct with their feelings, especially if they are not interested in you. You will always know when a guy is not interested in you! For most guys, the girl must be “hot” or their “type” for them to consider going out with you. I would imagine that guys with unattractive girlfriends are secretly or publicly ridiculed by their male friends, because for straight males being able to “get girls” is a sign of masculinity or sexual prowess. I liked this guy Kevin in high school, but he straight up told me that he wasn’t interested in me as more than a friend. I was hurt at first, because he was so direct. Now, I think it was actually good that he was direct because he didn’t keep me guessing (like girls do when they play hard to get). (4996)
In 8th grade I was rejected by one of my classmates who I knew for 9 years. When I told him I liked him he responded in a letter saying that he just wasn’t attracted to me because he’s known me for such a long time and since we were going to be graduating soon he did not want to even bother having feelings for anyone. However, I later found out through one of my friends that he had made rude comments about me and my physical appearance was one of the reasons why he didn’t like me. I felt that behavior was rude and insensitive. It made me feel upset and sad that he would tell me one thing but tell my friends and other classmates hurtful comments about me. I think it would’ve been best if he told me everything in the letter instead of telling our classmates about it. (9982)
There was one guy that I had been hooking up with and seeing off and on for almost a year. He acted as if he cared for me, but something told me that if he really cared for me, we would have been an official couple by then. I finally asked him if he just considered me a “friend with benefits” to which he said, “well I like you...but I don’t want a relationship”. I felt that this was very inconsiderate of my feelings, as this person knew I had liked them a lot, yet they continued to string me along for almost a year. It made me very upset that I had wasted so much time with this guy, and I still really wish he had told me from the start that he had no intention of dating me. (4410)
9052 I remember one guy I was attracted too. I gave him my number we talked a few times, but I can always tell by the conversation he didn’t want to date me. Or I would send him a text message he would never respond or would say he never received the text message. This made me feel not so confident at first. I figure things happen for reason. While I was trying to date this guy who would never give me any attention, someone else came along and gave me a lot more attention. This new guy always likes talking to me and hanging out with me. He always gets my text messages. 8. The last time I was rejected by the opposite sex it was because he was in the same fraternity as my ex-boyfriend. We were both attracted to each other and had been hanging out for a couple weeks when, all of the sudden, he seemed really standoffish and slowly stopped talking to me. This was very confusing to me and it made me feel horrible. I eventually confronted him about it and found out that he stopped talking to me because my ex-boyfriend had asked him to. So in this case, I blame my ex-boyfriend. I completely understand why this guy would feel pressured to stop talking to me. However, I think a better way to go about it would have been to tell me about it, and maybe let me have a say in the matter. (2541) 1778
8.) (I am not sure if this is really rejection or not but I will present it anyway.) I dated a guy for a few months during my sophomore year in high school and he decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, but he never mentioned this to me. Instead, he started hanging out with other girls and when I found out I confronted him about it. I finally got it out of him that he just didn’t want to be in a serious relationship anymore, which was all I wanted him to tell me. I was really mad at him for a long time because I thought it was very cowardly of him to go behind my back and basically cheat on me instead of just being upfront and telling me what he wanted. I would still have been a little upset because it wasn’t what I thought I wanted at the time but it would have felt better than being lied to and cheated on. His behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive.
Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.
How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:
#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?
In a situation where I know that the guy is interested and is too shy to become physically intimate in any way, I would make subtle physical advances. This may include wearing clothing that is slightly more revealing, sitting and walking closer, putting my hand on his arm, shoulder, etc. whenever possible, or simply being the first one to initiate an advance. If I’ve been dating a person for a month, and the guy hasn’t made any physical advances...there probably won’t be another date. (5981)
1. I would lean in close when I speak to them, and make sure that I have a lot of physical contact such as touching his shoulder or playfully punching them. I wouldn’t feel comfortable kissing a boy though because I feel like the boy should make the first move. If a boy really likes a girl he will try to kiss her, as I have learned from personal experience. (5678)
756663 I would attempt to hold their hand and try to sit or be as physically close to them as I could to give them a hint. I might even try to initiate a kiss but if they don’t catch on then I probably either wait a little longer or just forget it.
In order to become physically intimate with the person I would subtly give signals to that person via simple body-to-body interactions to understand if there was any feedback from my action towards him. If there is some positive feedback/reaction from that it would then be something to push the limits by finding a comfortable ground for physical intimacy between the both of us. I would never force myself or really try hard to work at obtaining the intimacy rather leave a little room to be a bit unobtainable at certain times to avoid appearing to be too easy to have. (5386)
9729 Well to be honest, if it had been about a month and there hadn’t been any kind of physical intimacy, I probably wouldn’t be very physically attracted to them, nor would I really be considering the physical intimacy step at that point. I wouldn’t consider myself old-fashioned, but I do like when the guy takes the initiative (not on the first date, but after a few times if there’s obviously chemistry). If I were starting to think that I might actually have to make the first move, or even heavily influence the guy to make the first move, he wouldn’t be the kind of guy I see myself with.
If I wanted to influence a guy to become physically intimate I would increase my physical contact with them in direct ways. For example, I would use any excuse to touch his arms or hug him to show I was interested. Then I would probably make harmless jokes about dating him or “pretend” we were boyfriend and girlfriend to let him know that he is definitely not just a friend.
I would become more flirtatious; maybe touching him more, like on his leg or his hand. I feel like intimacy has to be started through body language, the closer and more contact you have with a guy the better. If a girl was not enjoying a date she is more likely to not initiate any physical contact. (0937) 6070 Circumstance 1: If I wanted to become more intimate with a date I would suggestively flirt, touch, and stare: which are all communicating signals to the guy. 9.I would start with holding hands. Switching my eye contact to his lips then back again quickly when standing close to each other.(7418)
If the date was going well and I was attracted to the person, I would try to influence my date by the things that I say, how I say it and by making slight physical contact (i.e. putting my head on his shoulder, touching his arm, etc). If I felt comfortable enough, I would be more affectionate towards him to try and influence him. (2591)Sex on the first date (or second, third, fourth, etc) is never a good idea, especially for girls because they get labeled as sluts, while guys are players and are cool because they “hit it and quit it”. For me, I would not become physically intimate with a guy after several dates/month of dating- that isn’t enough time to be dating to have sex with someone. (4996) This question is difficult to answer because I’m not very aggressive when it comes to making a move on the opposite sex. If I was really interested in this guy and I could tell he was interested in me I would probably attempt to hold his hand and even possibly kiss him. I would do this by leaning my head against his shoulder and rubbing his arm. I would then leave my arm resting on his arm and eventually reach for his hand. While we would be holding hands I would then give him a kiss on his cheek and I’d hope to get one back. After a couple times of that I would attempt to kiss him on the lips and hope he would reciprocate. (9982)
I usually am not very good at making moves on guys, and want them to make a move on me. However, I would do my best to influence them making a move on me, and probably touch their arm a lot and flirt with them more than I had in the previous dates. I would make them know that I wanted something to happen in every way possible without actually making the first move! (4410)
I would start sending out signals to the guy to let him know that I want to go as far as physical intimacy. By asking him questions like what he may think about sex or questions such as how far have you gone with a girl. Also wearing something a little bit sexier and just a little revealing. I would maybe kiss on the guy more or hold his hand, maybe hug him a little tighter. Do more flirting with the guy and having more eye contact. 9. If I was on a date with a guy that I wanted to influence to become physically intimate with me, but we hadn’t even kissed before, I would start off with flirting with him and making certain comments to let him know that I really like him. The most that I would do other than that would be to casually touch his arm or shoulder when it felt right. I never make the first move, so I would leave the rest up to him. I wouldn’t want to force him into anything, so I would let him go at his own pace. (2541) 1778
9.) I would like to say that I would make the first move but I have only ever done that once in my life so I am quite certain that I would not have the guts to do so in this situation. However, there are slight body language changes I could make to let this person know that I am into him and ready to move-on to something new. I wouldn’t say anything explicitly stating my desires because that is just awkward but the signals and messages would be there for him to pick up on. As a girl, I don’t think that there is usually much I have to do to get intimacy started, guys usually do that and I just control the pace.
#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?
I don’t believe in playing games, and would simply make it known that I am not interested in being anything more than friends. I would probably follow through with this by spending time apart for a while until I know that his feelings for me have diminished. (5981)
1. I cut things off very short and leave. There is no way to get across to a boy who is sexually interested in you. And if he tries to kiss you and you move or reject it, things could become very awkward. I think it is better to just leave the situation immediately. Then the boy will understand without any awkward conversation how you feel about him. (5678)
I would be distant from the person and instead of leaning into the conversation; I would use my body language and non-verbal communication to project my undesired intentions to not be physically intimate with this person. However, I would try to make this hint smooth and less awkward by being attentive but also direct as to what my goals are for the date and our future or lack thereof together is. (5386)
I would try to be distant in terms of physical proximity. I think I would also try to seem uninterested so that they do not get any wrong signals. I would hold back from holding hands or anything like that and try to make the date end in a non-intimate way and perhaps hint at more group like meetings or non-romantic interactions in the future. 756663
I would try to be distant in terms of physical proximity. I think I would also try to seem uninterested so that they do not get any wrong signals. I would hold back from holding hands or anything like that and try to make the date end in a non-intimate way and perhaps hint at more group like meetings or non-romantic interactions in the future.
7548 If I did not want to become physically intimate with a guy I would purposefully treat him like a friend in “guy” terms, which means no touching intimately. I would also not mention any anything that related to sex in any way, not call as often or express future occasions to hang out, especially alone. I would try to include other people if he were to ask me to hang out and possibly talk about other dating opportunities I have.
9729 If I weren’t physically attracted to the person after several dates, I wouldn’t be on the date with him and would nicely explain to him over the phone somehow that I think we should just be friends or not see each other at all. In other words, I wouldn’t put myself in this situation at all.
I mentioned this in the question before by less body contact. If the guy grabs your leg while laughing you simply pull your leg away nonchalantly. You are not going to allow the guy to hug you or hold your hand if you are not interested in him. (0937) 6070 Circumstance 2: If I wanted to become less intimate with a date I would bring up how nice the person is and emphasis what a great friendship could evolve here. I think it is very important to be honest and not lead a guy on. 10. cross my arms, avoid situations where we might get too close to each other, possible instigate a hug at the end of the date to avoid a kiss. If things were really awkward, slip in something about “how great its has become to have you as a friend” (7418)
I would avoid anything that would give him the idea that I wanted anything more than friendship and I would try and avoid any physical contact. I would also try and keep the conversation casual, as if we were talking as friends, possibly even mentioning how great of a friend he is. If he was trying to insinuate something, I would be honest and tell him that I do not feel the same way for him. (2591)
I would not invite the guy into my house, so then nothing sexual or physical could happen. This also depends on who drove to the date. Often if you tell a guy you’re not interested they don’t really listen and keep trying, so it’s hard to generalize in this situation. My boyfriend helpfully told me to tell guys who like me, “I like you like a brother”, because this statement erases all potential for a sexual relationship, which most guys are after. (4996) If I was out on a date with someone and I was not feeling him I would avoid any conversations that could mislead him into thinking that I was interested. If he continued to think that I was interested I would tell him directly that I thought he was a nice guy but I’m just not interested and I would probably leave after that if there was nothing else to say. To avoid us ever becoming sexual if I was not into him, during previous dates I would show him that I was not interested in anything sexual with him by being less engaged in conversations we’d have. If I saw him more as a friend, I would point it out to him that he’s such a great friend and I appreciate the friendship we have. (9982)
In this situation I would probably be more standoffish and not really let them touch me. Even if I liked talking to the person, I would not want to lead them on so I would probably avoid making any further connection in conversation. If the person was really forward about wanting something to happen, I might even admit that I was seeing someone else or that I would just like to be friends with them. (4410)
To be honest I would tell the individual that I am not attracted to you. 10. In order to influence this person to avoid being sexual, I would avoid touching him. I would still act the same and say the same things, because I like him and I wouldn’t want him to lose interest in me. But if he tried to casually put his arm around me or something of the sort, I would be a little standoffish or awkward to let him know that I don’t want him to do that or to move any further. 1778
10.) Again, body language is the easiest and most effective. Not holding his hand or turning my body towards him, acting very closed off and almost uncomfortable. If he does not pick up on these then sometimes it is necessary to say something about how I am not interested or in a last resort situation I make something up about why I need to leave.
For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.
#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...
I have fun without them (5981)
girls go out to parties looking sexy in front of other guys. (5678)
Their ego is being threatened in the heat of the moment. (5386) 756663 when other guys make it obvious that they are attracted to their girlfriend. alcohol is involved and other guys are openly hitting on you, or touching you in any way (even if it’s just an arm around the shoulders). 9729
7548 other men show attention (physical or emotional) towards me.
A girl has guy friends that she is really close to. (0937)6070 Another guy hits on you. 11. their mate does something to provoke that jealousy. Most times, it’s a conscious choice by one to make the other jealous. They know how to push their buttons.(7418)
… women have a best friend who is a guy or still hangs out with their exes. (2591)
You talk to or hang out with other guys, or other guys look at you in public. (4996)
There is a man who has a better body or better looks than himself and is seen as a potential sexual threat to our relationship.(9982)
I talk to other guys in front of him that he knows I have a history with. Or when I go to hang out with a group of guys and I am the only girl. (4410)
another girl is spending a lot of more time with the guy that you are attracted too. 11. …he sees another guy touch his girlfriend. (2541) 1778 11.) …another guy talks to, hugs, texts, calls, or Facebook messages me.
#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...
Usually makes the first moe (5981)
12. does not understand boundaries and will go as far as the girl will allow him to. (5678)
12. Tries to please both themselves and their partner. (5386) 756663 usually has this role and tries to initiate it as soon as they can 7548 must make the first move.
Usually move a lot faster than females. (0937)6070 Has a tendency to be more aggressive. 12. has been told all their lives to make the first move, but don’t be too surprised when a girl takes the lead.(7418 )
should listen to and respect what the girl is comfortable with doing at that point. 9729
… is much more aggressive than usual. (2591)
Almost always initiates sex before the girl does. (4996)
Will always be the first to initiate it within the first couple times of going out.(9982)
Will usually either continue flirting and eventually just go in for a kiss, or flirt then politely ask if he can kiss me. (4410)
tends to start touching on the girl inappropriate places. 12. …should step up and make the first move. 1778
12.) …usually does the initiating.
#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...
emotional needs of women. 5678
13. The emotions of women and not everything is attributed by hormones. (5386)
deep, subconscious emotions.
756663 how others may perceive them. 13. menstrual cycles.(7418)
how to verbally express themselves. 9729
Feelings. (0937) 6070 Being vulnerable and emotionally available.
… how to handle a woman when she’s a little irritated. (2591)
Women's need for reassurance about their looks. (4996)
What women want and seeing each woman to be different. Instead of focusing on their current girlfriend, they continue to think about their previous relationships and compare what that girlfriend wanted or was like and think their current girlfriend is the same way. (9982)
Some body language that shows a girl is interested or uninterested. I’ve had many guys not guess what I was thinking in either case. (4410)
9052 the feelings of a woman within a relationship. Men tend to never know what a woman is thinking or how she feels.
1 3. …the way girls want to be treated. (2541) 1778 13.) …the misery females endure for one week every month.
#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... 756663
struggles with (5981) 9. should try to be more creative about.
may not always be very good at or understand how to do, but I’d always give them an A for effort. 9729
doesn't realize how a little can go a long way. (5678) 14. Doesn’t fantasize a lot about. (5386)
struggles to show openly in order to preserve their masculinity.
Likes when it is convenient for him or if he wants some. (0937) 6070 Needs to be reminded to do.
... can execute with enough thought and planning. (2591)
Is generally not creative about. (4996)
14. has to learn how to do.(7418)
Does not do too often but when men attempt and are romantic it is a cute gesture. (9982)
Can be good at in his own way. Girls expect too much from guys; guys will never be completely romantic like in movies. However, if you look closely at the act that they are doing, such as making dinner for a girlfriend for the first time, one can recognize that that is his way of being romantic. (4410).
really knows how to do at times when the guy is interested in the girl. I notice a guy will go out of his way to make the girl notice him. 14. … does not always have to do, but would be nice occasionally. (2541) 1778
14.) …is not known for being great at but the exceptions to that “rule” are incredible.
#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...
seeing how they interact with their own friends. Sometimes things need to get weaker in order to know that they can get strong. (5981)
looking through their phones to see if they are texting other guys. (5678)
15. Testing boundaries and finding loopholes to find out what is acceptable or not. (5386)
7548 seeing if I care if they hang out with other girls without getting jealous.
trying to make them jealous and seeing if they care. 9729
Seeing if she likes to do what he likes to do, activity wise. (0937) 6070 Asking questions that they aready know the answer to in order to see if you will be truthful.
... introducing you to his friends and seeing how you act around them and how they feel about you. (2591)
Asking their male friends if she's hot. (4996)
Asking their girlfriend questions about other guys and wanting their girlfriend to be honest and when their girlfriend is honest, the man assumes that she would rather be with another guy instead of him. (9982)
Seeing how she responds to certain situations, talking to other girls in front of her, seeing how she acts around his guy friends and whether or not his friends like her. (4410)
15. exposing them to friends? Im not sure(7418)
making them prove that they are worthy to be their potential spouse. By doing favors such has taking her on errands and buying her things.
15. … being standoffish and seeing how they react, or by flirting with someone else to see if they get jealous. Also, girls tend to get really upset and not say anything about it to see if the guy will notice and know why she is upset. (2541)
15.) …seeing what they can get away with in terms of other girls, their “guy time”, work, play, etc.
#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...
physical labor and manners (5981)
sports. (5678) 16. How much money will be obtained while in the workforce. (5386) the corporate world. 9729
the double standard. Boys feel that girls are not allowed to act/ dress a certain way if they do not want to be perceived as “slutty” or available.
Money making. That is a man’s job. (0937) 6070 Sports nd politics ... something that may threaten their status as "the man". (2591)
Domestic chores. (4996)
16. intelligence, strength… almost anything(7418)
Having them in the workforce and in superior positions such as a female CEO.(9982)
Driving. I hate that men say women are bad drivers. Also, being more successful than their significant other. A woman can and should be just as successful as a man. (4410)
9052 the working environment. Most men are not supportive of women that have higher positions in the work place. 16. … fixing things. (2541) 1778
16.) …their job or anything else by which they define themselves and the presence of a female threatens their ego.
#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...
should never partake in (5981)
has issues with (5678)
17. Can have too much of and sometimes it can be overbearing and completely unnecessary. (5386)
7548 is an indicator that a man has feelings for you, but it can easily cross the line into a negative controlling behavior.
has a lot of, especially towards their girlfriend. 9729
Has no idea about because they are oblivious. (0937)6070 Always fall subject to, as if they need to mark their territory. ... can sometimes get carried away with. (2591)
Needs to work on. Protectiveness is ok, posessiveness is not. (4996)
Can sometimes obtain if the woman allows for him to have control over what she does or people she hangs out with(9982)
17. shows sometimes in a relationship(7418)
Can go overboard on. Guys tend to get jealous when their girlfriend talks to other guys. (4410)
9052 always do if another person is trying to take the other spouse away. 17. … does too much and makes us feel trapped. (2541) 1778
17.) …is no known for.
#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...
should meet all other criteria before this (5981)
puts it in front of personality. (5678)
18. Highly values the physique of women more so than personality of the woman. (5386)
must have a kind expression but ideally have a naturally bigger physique.
are always sexiest right when they wake up. 9729
Uses it to decide whether the girl is in his league or not. (0937) 6070 Always want a physically attractive female. ... immediately categorizes women they meet based on their attractiveness. (2591)
Is overly obsessed with hot females and how good or bad a girl looks, instead of their personality or intelligence. Guys don't look at girls and wonder if they are smart or not. (4996)
Will always put less effort into their physical appearance in comparison to females. Physical attractiveness will always be one of the first things men notice about women(9982)
Should have a decently muscular body, and masculine face for me to be attracted to them! (4410)
9052 tends to flirt more. 18. appeals to me(7418) 18. …does not need to try too hard to be attractive. Unlike girls. (2541) 1778
18.) …has a very wide range.
#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...
Don't necessarily need to possess (5981)
value greatly among themselves but not necessarily in a woman. (5678) 19. Value greatly and the women must have lesser of both so that way they can be the “provider” for the family. (5386)
must value because those things resemble motivation, drive and intelligence which are all qualities that I find attractive.
try to use to impress girls. 9729
Hold in high regards. (0937) 6070 Do not take into consideration as much
... value most for themselves but not necessarily for women. (2591)
Must work hard to obtain, because girls are always after the rich guy even if he's ugly or old. (4996)
9052 must have to date women.
19. sometimes shows off to attract women (7418)
Often feel they need to obtain in order to be successful (9982)
Desires more than women. Men are very conscious of social status and wish to make a lot of money, especially to attract women. (4410) 19. …works really hard for because they think that girls need that. And maybe they do. (2541) 1778
19.) …cares more about than they will usually let be known.
#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...
don't try to relate to where you're coming from (5981)
talks negatively about girls to their guy friends. (5678)
20. Cannot look past the physical characteristics of women. (5386)
find women boring or unattractive only because they were unwilling to personally get to know the woman on an intimate level.
Intentionally act manly to act as if they do not care so much. (0937) 6070 Insults my intelligence and capabiltiy.
... try and pretend like they don't care, even if they do. (2591)
Is dismissive and shuts down. (4996)
20. can’t speak their feelings(7418)
make generalizations starting out with “well, all girls…” even though they know that you don’t fall into that generalization. 9729
Does not think about what they say before they say it and make rude or insensitive comments(9982)
Acts as if they do not care. Although I know deep down they do have emotions, guys are very good at pretending they do not care in fights, which hurts. (4410)
9052 does not care how the other person feels. 20. …acts like they don’t need girls. (2541) 1778
20.) …disrespects me, specifically my feelings.
#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...
They can communicate effectively and make me feel special (5981)
they say flattering things. (5678) 21. They take the time and effort to care for women on a personal level more so than for sexual desires. (5386) I’m with all my best guy friends. 9729
they value my personal opinion over all of their friends.
They do thoughtful things at random times when I least expect them. (0937) 21. they tell me they like me(7418)
6070 I'm in an intimidating situation or I need to restore some sort of balance to my life.
... we are having a genuine conversation and being open and honest. (2591)
Compliments me on something or does a chore without me asking. (4996)
They go out of their way to do something out of the ordinary for their significant other.(9982)
He acknowledges that he is attracted to me in a physical and emotional way, and acknowledge that I make him happy. (4410)
they are treating me with respect. 21. …they like to spend time with us. (2541) 1778
21.) …I am in a good solid relationship with a guy because it gives me hope that they are not all as bad as I have known some to be.