Fall, 2011 comments men

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Comments by Men

Due date: Next class session.

This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) on your computer to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 4 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions below.

You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it.

Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/ ).

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, (women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.

Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Men" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Male Comments file.
Due to the small number of men in this class, insert your responses with the comments from several men in previous semesters of this class:

#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling

1. In our first meeting for Psychology 310, we all discussed, women and men included, what we generally dislike and like about the opposite sex. When the women heard and understood what the men in the class disliked about the opposite sex, rather than being troubled or worried, the women laughed it off and did not contend their faults in the slightest. This was deeply puzzling and incomprehensible; it almost makes it worse that, as women, they know their own faults, yet are still firm and content with their beliefs, actions, etc. that are the root of these faults. To me, this serves as evidence to the idea that these general faults are a function of the female gender. (8315)

As I was walking away from the gym last night, two ladies that I am friends with yelled bye to me as I walked ahead of them to my car. I said bye back and she replied, "Did you see us watching you play basketball?" I said no. Then her friend immediately replied, "Don't let you ego get too big now." This flabbergasted me as to why she would say that. Usually I quickly think of a clever response for comments like that but this one completely stumped me. I had no idea why she would fire such an odd comment. I think it might be a function of gender because girls have an uncanny detection for guys' egos and when they think they might be abnormally large. I say this because I secretly did notice a flock of girls watch me play basketball, inflating my ego just a bit. I just didn't want to admit it. (3839)

#1. I’m so accustomed to being puzzled by the girls that it’s hard to remember one particular scenario where I was deeply puzzled. Oftentimes they’ll be offended by things that wouldn’t offend a guy. I once told a girl I know a joke that went, “Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive a car?”. My friend laughed at the punchline (because she’s a woman) but then seemed offended and moody and wouldn’t talk to me much. Then the next day she was fine. It seems she was motivated by not trying to tell me what I did wrong, but only hoping I would guess due to her nonverbal cues. (1208)

1. There have been many instances in the past in which my girlfriend has expressed sudden jealousy and anger when I give attention to other people. Obviously, one could expect interactions with other girls to be a problem, with fears of undue flirting. However, this also occurs when I am giving attention to my male friends as well. While this could possibly be due in part to personality, I am convinced that it must mainly be an issue of gender. For one, I have had similar experiences with other women in my life ( e.g. my mom). Also, I cannot think of any male friend, family member, or acquaintance who has ever remotely displayed such a reaction.
The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes. With my mom, it seems to be more of a surpressed indignation over the family's general lack of appreciation for her efforts as a provider and organizer. When times are good, there's no mention of any problem. However, as soon as a dish is broken, or a trash bag is not taken out, there is hell to pay for how hard she strives to help the family "survive", and how little I or my father do to assist in the campaign. (0645)

#1 Two situations or encounters with the opposite sex immediately come to mind. The first situation(s) involves my mother, who is a P.H.D candidate at UCLA. As just stated, my mother is extremely intelligent, caring, funny, loving, and dedicated, among a plethora of other characteristics/traits. Nonetheless, despite all of the aforementioned (inherently good) qualities that she possesses, her continuous desire for possessions/items/commodities/ tangible ‘things’, constantly puzzles me. My assumption is that a rational, educated, and generous person, like my mother, would realize that items and ‘things’ are just that…things. Nonetheless, some of her decision-making skills, in the realm of shopping (buying, etc…), can be called into question. I believe that this is indicative of the female sex, not just my mother, as even the smartest of women can be distracted and make poor or irrational decisions when it comes to material possessions. Secondly, my last relationship ended abruptly, but fortunately amicably as well, following an ‘out of the blue’ conversation in which she stated that she was “confused” and “needed to figure things out”. Once again, this type of irrational behavior, I believe, is indicative of not only her, but most women. Rather than discussing any looming problems (which she undeniably must have felt/had), she decided one morning (to add insult to injury, she woke me up to have the conversation) to tell me she was unhappy and needed to figure herself out. Once again, to generalize, I believe women tend to be more unstable and irrational when it comes to many aspects (of course not all). (6921)

#1...I was sitting outside of the classroom of my summer class today just waiting for it to start. As I'm on the bench I see a girl who was in my class from the previous summer session. Didn't know her very well, but we still interacted and spoke to each other occasionally since the size of the class was so small. As she walked by me today I noticed her so I gave a smile and a polite wave. She took one look at me and continued to walk on her merry way. Not even an acknowledgment. I was shocked. Not that I really needed to strike conversation up, but I was just trying to be polite. Nothing! I just laughed. I couldn't believe it. Something so simple as a polite hello was too hard for her. It was beneath her to do something so simple. She looks like a very inviting nice girl which is why it shocked the hell out of me. (8831)

1.) The other day I was at a show and was hanging outside alone. I’m a smoker so I was pulling out a cigarette when two people I know walked up to me and one was a female who walked straight up to me and held out her lighter and flicked it on so I can light my cigarette. I always thought of this as a gentlemen-like action such as holding a door open for a female. Why did she do this? Now that I think about it, there are some possibilities. One may be is that she just doesn’t see it as a gentlmen-like thing to do. It is possibly that she doesn’t believe in the roles of males and females. Maybe my perception of the male role is altered and I only happen to notice the male as the one who brings out the lighter to help out a stranger/acquaintance. Perhaps it wasn’t anything super weird, but it’s something I’ve never seen before. (7330)

One night my friend had sex with a female I knew particularly well. About a week later I hung out with her and she told me along with everyone else there continually that she did not have sex with my friend and rather that she was disgusted with him and that she felt sick that night and went home early. This was extremely puzzling to me because I was there that night and distinctly remember her staying the night. How intensely she could convince herself through denial was beyond me. I have never witnessed this type of behavior from any male before and therefore believe that women in general are typically prone to prescribing to false realities in order to avoid the truth more so than men. (7626)

In social settings with the opposite sex it is deeply confusing. The way that girls hold themselves in public is intriguing to say the least. It is puzzling to see the way that women are extremely fake in face to face interactions with one another, and the moment that the conversation or interaction is over they are happy to bash and tear the other person apart. It seems as if they are competing for the same goal and are willing to ruthlessly sabotage any opponent in order to gain moderate satisfaction. (9818)

1. There have been many instances where women have puzzled me, mainly when it is dealing with them being jealous or clingy at random times. Recently, after ending things with a girl, a couple days later she acted like everything was normal and fine...it really didn’t make any sense to me because we had literally just ended things the other day. Another time, a girl was very concerned with the way I felt about her because she noticed that other girls were noticing me. She would drop hints like, “ohh that girls cute, she probably wants you” and other things like that in a sarcastic way because she was insecure about me wanting her more than anyone else. Anyway, I believe that women in general tend to be vulnerable and have a need to cling on to a man who they really care about, even if the two aren’t on great terms, or, when they are, but the woman simply feels the need to have those feelings reinforced. I think that women over analyze many situations and they feel a need to mend things rather than let things go and move on, and like to be reminded that they are loved/wanted. (6531)

1. A girl I know tells me she wants to hangout and catch a movie. Now, given the fact we’ve had a history, I assume when she says hang out she really means just that. I’m assuming this is not a date as a date is more direct. I’m not expecting a date atmosphere. She’s dressed up a little more than I am when I go to pick her up, but I am still thinking we are just going to see the movie, maybe some food, and then I drop her off. When we get to the counter to get tickets and the concession counters, she doesn’t reach for a wallet. If this was a date, I would assume to pay; but, going to hang out, I’d expect to split everything. It’s a little mind boggling to say lets hangout, and then put it on as a date. Though a handful of females will split checks regardless of hanging out or a date, I find this to be an issue of gender as only females take advantage of male’s chivalrous nature (1228)

1. One thing that puzzles me about women is how much women very from each other. Some women try to groom men into a “perfect” man while others will date many men to find him. Also, some women view sex as something fun and not a big deal while other see it as a huge emotional investment. Furthermore, there are women that want to be swept of their feet by prince charming and taken away into a fantasy while others are incredibly practical and realistic. There seem to be endless differences between women. (8427)

#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.

2. In general, what I like most about the opposite sex in particular is based solely in my desire for sexual/reproductive purposes. Any straight male would be fooling himself if he denied placing a very large emphasis of interest in this area. What I also like about the opposite sex is that they tend to be more caring and nurturing, which is best described as a “motherly instinct.” Even then, to call it a “motherly instinct” implies some sort of sexual reproduction. (8315)

I like how women are so comforting and soothing. I like how soft they are. I like how clean they keep themselves. I like their anatomical differences to men. I like their motherly instincts. I don't like how judgemental they are. I don't like how rediculously sensitive they are. I don't like how detective they can be and how they take everything so meaningfully. I don't like how moody they are. I don't like how they settle disputes so "behind the scenes"ly. (3839)

2...I think women are just better listeners. Sometimes when you want to talk to your boys your message gets cut off, and you don't really get to express what your really trying to say. Most women, in my experience, have a better sense of actually listening to what I have to say completely before jumping to a conclusion. They recognize the fact that sometimes you just need to air your grievances to someone else un-detered. For me there is no shortage of what I don't like about women. My main pet peeve with women is their inherent ability to keep a record of every little thing you've done wrong in the past, hold onto it, and then throw the book at you when you least expect it. Totally frustrating. They can't cut the cord with the past sometimes. (8831)

2.I like and appreciate that I can talk with my lady friends about everything I simply can’t talk about with my guy friends, including but not limited to: falling short of the ideal male standard, other personal failures, dreams, aspirations, and how to talk to other girls. Male and female friends hold you to different standards and look out for your different needs. Men are always going to like women for their looks. Always. But there’s a warmth in every girl’s embrace, one that’s hard to find between guys. Women just seem naturally capable of transmitting raw nurture and for that, I love having them around.
I don’t like having to mind read. When I can see facially that something is wrong, responding with “It’s fine” doesn’t help anyone. Also, PMS is an overused excuse. I’m not insensitive towards biology, but since all we do from birth to death is behave, everything we say and do is a choice. So man or woman, we all should make better choices and just love and respect each other no matter how crumby we feel. 4168

2) The things I enjoy about girls have to do with both their physicality and personality. On the physical side I love just about everything about them. Whereas personality wise there are certain qualities I love about girls. Generally I love how girls are spunky, out there, and extremely open. They are usually clean; smell great, and always organized. Whereas things I dislike about girls are their unwillingness to drop grudges, their love for cliques, how deceiving and conniving they can be, how sometimes high maintenance they can be, and finally how judgmental they can be to other girls.

In general, I like how most girls have a soft side to them. Whether it be them being sympathetic, connecting at an emotional level, or helping a person out in need, I feel that it is more common for women to engage in these more compassionate acts than for men. I don’t like how many girls are capable of being more catty. I feel as though sometimes its hard to know what a girl actually thinks about you and what they are saying behind your back. I do believe that girls talk behind people’s backs more often than guys in the sense that a guy would be more willing to say something bad to that other person’s face. (9995)

#2. I enjoy girls’ physical appearance. I like that girls are nurturing and receptive. They’re less edgy than guys, in regards to physical curves and tendency to aggression. I like that they’re on average smaller in size than guys. They smell better, their scent/pheromones are attractive. I dislike that they can be complicated and not say what they mean. I also don’t like when they are possessive or needy. I dislike that they can have mood swings especially during certain times of the month. (1208)

2. The thing I like most about women is their ability to discuss things and become emotionally invested in the matter. Men are unable to speak to other men about feelings and insecurities. However, women are not. They are both willing and able to discuss a problem or insecurity in much greater depth and detail than men.
The thing I dislike the most about women is their oversensitivity. I know I wrote that I like their emotionality, but there is a limit to this. There comes a point when things should be let go. Women do not tend to do this. They remember everything; they hold it as a grudge. What was said as a minor comment escalates into a full-scale problem and lingers for an indefinite amount of time. (0298)

Things that I like about women include: 1 – they are nice to look at… 2 – sensitive and empathetic… 3 – communicative… 4 – nurturing… 5 – they are the ones that have the babies. Things that I dislike about women is that: 1 – they don’t communicate directly and hint instead… 2 – they don’t know what they want… 3 – they are over sensitive about certain things… 4 – they over analyze trivial things… 5 – too self conscious about their appearance. (5092)

Women tend to be more open and try to sympathize sometimes. They're more likely to go out of their way to help or talk to someone without being directly asked or put on the spot. They are very emotional, which can make them easy to empathize with, but at the same time, it can make them difficult to understand. It is troublesome when woman tend to get overly emotional or overly concerned with things that men would consider trivial. From my own biased point of view, I would consider them to act less on logic and more on impulse or instinct. Despite being nicer usually, they are more likely to be bitter or hold resentment over things, but will often never tell the person or otherwise seek some kind of closure to the issue. (0655)

In general women are more open to entertaining ideas. Males will usually shrug something off if they do not see an immediate advantage or satisfaction coming their way from an interaction or experience. Women enjoy toying with ideas and building up large fantasies about what might come as a result. This way of thinking reminds me of childhood innocence, when kids are able to look at anything and dream up a colossal story and background to add to each character. This mindset of making the best of any situation seems. (9818)

#2 Other then the obvious answer of physical attraction, there are many attributes and characteristics I like about the opposite sex; primarily, a woman’s inherent motherly instincts and qualities. Women inherently tend to be more understanding, caring, and patient with many things, in contrast to their male counterparts. Women also tend to be more hospitable, welcoming, and charitable in many respects. For example, I know far more women who are involved in community service and other benevolent activities. On the other hand, when it comes to personal matters, I feel that women tend to be much more selfish and protective. As stated in question #1, I believe women are drawn and attracted to things, whether tangible and material objects or with other people, that can be self-destructive and non-beneficial. When it comes to relationships, women tend to place themselves at the center or the forefront, without always thinking of their partners. To generalize, I think that women tend to see things in very different ways then males, which often leads to confrontation or problems. For instance, women’s relationships with other women (platonic), in contrast with men’s relationships with other men (platonic), appear hostile and tumultuous. While there are numerous examples that could be provided to suggest that women work together (especially to overcome adversity), from my observations, women are always in competition with each other over things that, quite frankly, are irrelevant and unimportant. For example, women will fight with each other, sometimes to the point of not talking to each other, over something as small as just talking to a male that they are both interested in. (6921)

2. I like their motherly instincts, their ability to listen and empathize, and their sensitivity. I dislike their tendency to manipulate, gravitate towards drama, and the insincere ways in which they treat their fellow women. (7626)

2.) I enjoy the opposite sex for their balance. I may often be to much/not enough of something and when a relationship, the female often evens that out. Females are often more calm and collect and it really is helpful when men get a little too angry/physical/riled up. They are also much more organized then men. In general, they are also physically attractive and very caregiving. What I dislike about females is that they can be picky and have more difficulty than men when making choices. They also seem to go back and forth with their opinions and feelings that become very difficult for others to pick up on. (7330)

2. In general, I really like that women are very understanding and sweet, their gentle touch and words are always very soothing when you need it most. I also enjoy the way girls dress, or show off their “assets”, it’s always nice to see a pretty girl walk by who is dressed to impress. The way women smile is always captivating as well. I dislike that women are needy/clingy, have a sense of entitlement, hold grudges and past arguments against you, and mood swings. (6531)

2. I like females comforting and nurturing nature – their ability to be empathetic. Physically, there is no shortage to female’s physical features that men find attractive. Their natural smell or used fragrance, looks, appearances, clothing, etc. can be very disarming to male ego and persona. The anatomy of females in comparison to men goes without saying.
I dislike how judgmental and shallow females can be towards men and even more so, other females. Girls can be very obsessive with revenge, grudges, manipulation – essentially they like to play too many games and can’t cope with “forgive and forget.” More often than not, females prefer passive aggressive methods and indirect communication over direct. Among other things, females enforce and act on many double standards.1228

2. What I enjoy about women is their feminine aura. This isn’t particularly easy to describe but it is a feeling I sense around women. I believe this stems from the way women perceive the world differently than men. Their femininity is the counterbalancing force to my masculinity. This is all encompassing presence in their being and is expressed through their physicality, emotionality, and sexuality. One thing specifically I dislike about women is their self-consciousness about their bodies. I know this is partly an issue of what society tells women what they need to look like. However, I find it incredibly unattractive and annoying when women think they are fat just because they don’t look like a swimsuit model. I also dislike that women try to leverage men with sex. (8427)

#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?

3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about my own sex is the true intentions of any one male. Yes, all straight males have an innate desire to reproduce, but not all males want to fornicate with every female that walks by. To explain further, some women are convinced that each male they meet wants nothing more than to have sexual relations with them. Some women take “Want to grab a coffee?” as “I want to bone you so bad right now.” I find this particularly insulting because of the fact that there is some sort of consensus amongst women that if a male wants to be friends, he only wants to have sex. While this may be correct in some instances, it is certainly not true in all instances. (8315)

I believe that when you give one glance at a girl, no matter if they appreciate it or not, they automatically think that you are attracted to them or that you are "creeping them out." That's why I have developed a refined tactic in sending the glance. (3839)

3...Women underestimate a mans need in solving a problem or troublesome situation. Men don't care how things happen. We just want to find a solution. Women feel the need to complain about how bad things are constantly for their own self indulgence. They don't understand that we think it's a waste of time to spend so much time complaining. It bothers us, but I think it makes them feel better. It's like they want to tell you how bad things are constantly so that when they finally get past them it seems like this major accomplishment. (8831)

3. The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.

3. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)

The most misunderstood thing about men, by women, is the belief that we have the same capacity for emotional expression and self-understanding that they do. We don’t. (5626)

#3. Females underestimate how much males are ruled by their desires. Some claim they think men only need sex and try to manipulate us through this, but they don’t really understand. We need food and sleep as well. Girls always overthink things, and can’t grasp how an idea that may seem complicated or important to them is not a big deal for a guy. (1208)

3. Women tend to think that men are sex-obsessed robots that are void of any emotion. It is true; men think about sex. Women do to. But that is not the only thing men think or care about. We have feelings and emotions just as women do. We are not “allowed” to show them due to culturally constructed notions of what it is to be a man. However, if you get us alone, you see that, like you, we do have emotions. (0298)

Women usually seem to think that males are as complicated as they are. Men are almost always straightforward with answers, feelings and emotions. They don’t say one thing and mean another, or play mind games with women. This misunderstanding is the downfall of many relationships. Women delve too deeply into the meaning of an action or word. When this happens a guy is left confused because he said his statement in the most straightforward way possible, and a woman was quick to pull out a “hidden meaning” and comes to an erroneous conclusion. (9818)

The opposite sex continually misunderstands and forgets that men are biologically programmed to lust after other females. We can’t help wanting to look, touch, talk to other attractive females. Often women will condemn their boyfriends if they are caught even looking. This is simply the way men are constructed. We can’t change it but rather only learn to control it. This process is called growing up. (7626)

Men speak directly. I want X. Women do not understand that simple and direct communication is the easiest way to speak to men, and they would rather have a guessing game. That, in turn, (in my belief) is why some women have problems with other girls in talking behind someone’s back rather than confronting them and thus is also the reason for which some girls have more guys as friends. (5092)

3. The one thing women most misunderstand about men is our "inability" to multitask. It is not that we do not know how, but rather it is that we do not want too. When we are watching a sports game, TV show, reading the paper, or playing video games, we are interested in that one thing. We do not want to be interrupted or worry about anything else. Most guys that I know actually do know how to multitask and they can do it quite well. When guys hang out together they multitask all the time, but that is because guys talk to other guys about things that they want to hear or do not mind hearing about during a sports game or such. However, when women want to talk and we are watching a sports game, they typically want to talk about their feelings or gossip, and on the rare occasion try to have us explain the game to them. It just gets frustrating. (9814)

3. I think that girls seem to think that since we don’t outwardly show as much emotion all the time, that we don’t feel anything at all. This is completely untrue and really annoying if you ask me because they then act differently based on this assumption. (1866)

I think that they tend to assume we don't feel a certain way just because we aren't as expressive about it as they would be. I also sometimes believe that they think we are not as direct as they think we are, mistaking our simple answers for something like hidden messages. (0655)

#3 In my opinion, it is the fact that women tend to see all men as the same. Their stereotyping and premature judgments often lead them to make misinformed decisions. Simply because many men act a certain way does not mean all men do the same. That being said, women often misunderstand and misinterpret gestures and acts of males. (6921)

3. I think that many women think that no guys are very sensitive when in fact a lot of men are. Women tend to think and focus on the fact that men are always thinking about sex and don’t care about anything else when they actually do. (6531)

3.) I believe the opposite sex thinks all we want to sex. We may think about sex on a regular basis, but we want much more than that. We do look for someone who can reciprocate their feeling and actions in order to be happy with each other. (7330)

3. Women seem to believe that men only think about sex and further couple this idea with the stereotype that men are downright emotionless. Sex is always on the human mind, male or female. A high school speaker once mentioned females think about sex or related topics every 16 to 18 seconds, and males think about said topic about every 8 to 10 seconds. What can we do? 1228

3. I believe that women don’t understand that men check out women just as much as women do men. Men don’t have as good as peripheral vision as women due to hundreds of thousands of years of evolution during which male’s vision was developed for focused visual attention, beneficial for hunting, while females used more peripheral vision for gathering. This means can see things better without turning their head and moving their eyes and therefore can look at a guy walking by very subtly. (8427)


#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?

4. Firstly, I noticed her beauty. Secondly, I noticed her figure. After a while of chatting and getting to know each other, I decided that she had a very lovable and attractive personality. In most cases, a genuine attraction goes through each of the aforementioned phases. For me, I don’t feel that there is one particular factor that made her attractive; rather, it is a combination of different, attractive factors. (8315)

#4. I dated a girl, and I was initially attracted by her physical appearance and her friendly gestures towards me. There are always many attractive women in my life at any given time, however, it is the belief that a specific lady wants to spend time with me that attracts me to pay attention to her. This belief is fueled by specific behavior directed at me by that lady: smiles, touches, glances. The number of these nonverbal behavioral cues need not be high, but rather the quality of them should be significant. (1208)

I believe for all initial attractions, physical appearance is the number one factor just because all others take either more time to discover or are too insufficient to create an attraction. Physical appearance instictually activates a sexual drive which is quite an undeniable force. (3839)

4...Initially, it's physical. When I look at a woman there figure is the first thing I notice. But what really sets it off is there eyes. For some reason I just felt like I had a better feeling of what type of girl I was dealing with when I got to look into her eyes. Whether she was crazy, reserved, or promiscuous. It was just easy to tell. And that was enticing when it happened. Non-verbal communication by a woman is very hard to resist. Most have mastered that art which is why they play us men so easy sometimes. (8831)

4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand. (0645)

4. The first things that I am attracted to every time are physical features. Without ever hearing the women say a word, I am attracted. Another factor that draws me to women is mere proximity. There was a time when I saw a woman for the first time and was not attracted to her. However, after seeing her everyday for three weeks, I suddenly am attracted. (0298)

The initial feature that captures my eye personally is a girl’s smile. If I can stare at her face all day, then I know I’m not going to have problems with that down the line. Though this is the first thing I notice, it is not the most important. A woman’s friendly personality and positive relationships with others is most attractive for me. (5092)

Attractiveness to the opposite sex hinges on several factors, which are constantly changing. One initial factor is appearance, there has to be certain level of sexual attraction in order to initiate conversation. Beyond that there needs to be a compatible personality, or something intriguing about the person. A mysterious trait in their personality usually leads to a state of question, perplexing the suitor and driving them to a state where they exert tremendous effort in order to figure out the other person. Social status plays an integral part of attraction. If someone is not able to fit into your core group of friends or is at the opposite extreme of a social group it severely hinders the compatibility of two people.(9818)

4. The characteristic I think attracts most males to females right away, including me towards my current girlfriend, is physical attractiveness. It is with physical attractiveness that a guy is attracted to a girl and goes up to talk to her. However, once that initial attractiveness is made clear, there are many other things that attract guys further to girls. For me, the reason why I went to talk to my girlfriend (before she was my girlfriend) was because I thought she was very pretty. However, as time went on and I began to go on several dates with her, I soon realized that there were multiple characteristics that attracted me to her even further than her beauty. She was caring, understanding, funny, nice, and genuinely interested in what I had to say. The most important factor that attracted me to her, was like I mentioned, was her beauty. However, that was only the initial attractiveness, and as our relationship developed I found myself even more attracted to her just because of the way she was, her personality. (9814)

4.Physical appearance usually comes first because it is the most apparent. But then I think what most attracts me to a girl is her personality and also how she relates to me. If she doesn’t seem to be interested in me at all usually I won’t be as interested in her. (1866

4.) Thinking back on it, I find a few items worth thinking about when I find a female attractive. At first, their looks are often important INITIALLY because that’s what catches your eye. Two other characteristics are: 1.) A similar sense of humour. Everyone laughs, but can we laugh at similar jokes that not everyone finds funny> 2) Does it seem like the female is somewhat attractive to me? Not sure why? Maybe feeling like someone is attracted to you gives you a sense of confidence so you want to be around that person a bit more. (7330)

Physical appearance is by far the easiest and most obvious thing that will strike me at first. That is often the first thing that will 'hook' a guy. The capacity for continued attraction, though, tends to rely on the girl's personality; something unique that keeps the guy interested rather than just chase another pretty face. Personally, I try to find someone who's more laid back or understanding. Pretty much someone who lets me have my space and let's me be me. I want someone independent. I don't want someone who will become irritating or nagging or just make themselves a burden to me. (0655)

Physical attractiveness is nearly always the primary contributing factor to feelings of attraction. The second is probably your knowledge of whether or not they like you. I always thought my girlfriend was attractive prior to dating her, however the day I found out from my friend she liked me my attraction for her multiplied. She then became the most attractive girl in any room to me. (7626)

#4.I’m sure many people will note this, but physical appearance is important when it comes to attraction. However, clearly, that is not the only factor, rather, it is the initial characteristic that I am drawn to. For me, I am attracted most to women who are genuine and who know themselves. For example, although I am not always attracted to shy girls, if I meet one that I feel is herself and not ‘acting’, I would not mind at all pursuing such a woman. (6921)

4. A women’s smile seems to always attract me the most. The next things would be her physical appearance, and her voice and the way she carries herself. I like women who are attractive and don’t know it in a way that would give them too much confidence. I like sweet, nice girls who can hold eye contact. (6531)

4. Men are biologically programmed to think about sex, so it is only natural to consider physical appearance first. Beyond the entirety of physical appearance, it’s definitely the small things - dimples on the small of the back and smell/fragrance is that little extra “umpf.” Still, physical attractiveness is just the initial indicator and always comes second to a girl’s personality and for me, it’s not just whether the girl is kind, open, direct, and understanding, but rather, how well a girl’s personality complements or supplements my own personality and interests. 1228

4. One girl I was attracted to for several reasons. First, I thought she was physically attractive. However this was subjective as some of my friends thought she was ok looking but not great. She was a friend of my sister and I’m not sure but I think that made me more attracted to her. I think my imagination increased my attraction for her a lot. My first few interactions with her were pretty short and positive. This gave me a good impression but allowed my mind to fill in the gaps in my knowledge of her. The result of this was I created this perfect perception of her in my mind and it made me think she was perfect. (8427)


#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

5. The strengths of the opposite sex include their capacity to be very gentle, warm, and nurturing. I like to refer to it as a “motherly instinct,” to have an innate desire to care for and nurture one to health, in a very broad sense of the term. The weaknesses of the opposite sex are related to their innate capacity for unfathomable mood swings. All other weaknesses or potential weakness of the opposite sex stem from this single issue. Mood swings often derail any sort of attempt at logical reasoning, which tends to lead to some sort of conflict. (8315)

#5. Females are caring, sensitive, passionate, able to multitask well and ask for help, and live longer. Some weaknesses of females are that they are phsyically weaker (less muscle), temperamental, and have to bear children. (1208)

Strengths: financial responsibility of life, manipulative ability over men, knowledge of social norms and popularities, emotion detection ability or sensitivity. Weaknesses: physical strength, maintenence, pregnancy, dealing with emotions, problem solving. (3839)

Women’s strengths are their ability to listen, manipulate, read body language, and their willingness to be vulnerable at necessary times. Their weaknesses are their haphazard ways of communicating, their tendency to gravitate towards drama, and the horrible, insincere way they treat their fellow woman. (7626)

5. Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not neccesary.
For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them. (0645)

The strengths of females are their abilities with language, persuasion, social interaction, emotional intelligence, self-control, self-identity, empathy, and understanding. The weaknesses of the female sex are being overly concerned with other people/relationships and not concerned enough with their own personal accomplishments. This over concern with other people is what I would hypothesize causes females to be so emotionally dramatic, analytical, and sensitive. (5626)

5. Some of the strengths of women are their caring, mothering, and nurturing skills. The greatest strength of women is the ability to empathize. Men are often not so good at this. Women, however, have the ability to hear a person’s problem and really put themselves into that person’s situation meaning that they truly know what the person is going through and how he or she feels.
The weakness of women is their inability to take any type of criticism. Constructive criticism is meant to build a person up not tear them down. However, most women do not see the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. To them, it is all destructive. Any criticism, constructive or not, is taken as a personal attack. (0298)

Women struggle to cope with traumatic events and experiences in their lives. They become much more emotionally attached to locations and people, making separation or loss of one extremely difficult to handle. I believe that they have trouble making decisions in a fast paced or potentially lethal situation. They prefer to have a more methodical approach to solving a problem, which leads to indecision, often resulting in accidents or delays.

5...The strengths of women are there ability to listen, their sensitivity toward personal issues, and their ability to articulate how they're feeling when they want to. But only when they want to. That's the kicker. They can be the most caring people in the world, but on their own terms. It's so frustrating. Women are overly emotion, and it's so hard to deal with. It's like the floodgates of emotions just opens up, and it destroys everything thats in it's path. Only they can stop the wave, but sometimes it feels like they enjoy it. (8831)

The strength of women is in their ability to sympathize and empathize with others as well as vocalize their emotions well when speaking with others. I believe their weakness is that they have too many emotions to deal with, often letting it get the best of them. (5092)

5. Strengths of the opposite sex include: understanding, listening skills, helpfulness, caring, genuine interest in what you have to say. Weaknesses, however, include: jealousy, self-conscious, indirect communication, always having to be right. (9814)

5.The fact that they seem to care more about things is definitely a strength. They tend to put more value on relationships and more work into such things. Also how they are better listeners and are more intuitive. They just seem to balance us out in a lot of ways.
Their weaknesses though are that they overanalyze and are too emotional and it can get in the way of daily life and cause issues in their interactions with others that don’t really need to happen. (1866)

Woman tend to be much stronger at empathy and most other emotional communication. They just naturally tend to be more comforting than men are. They can also be more empathetic, or at least act like it, making negotiating and communication seem much more natural to them. However they have a higher tendency than males to act irrationally or sporadically. They tend to act with less consistency, and are harder to understand or predict. (0655)

#5 The strengths of the opposite sex include being hardworking, focused, caring, thoughtful, dedicated to work, motherly instincts, and willingness to adapt. Conversely, weaknesses include selfishness (in some aspects), irrationality, being overly judgmental, having superiority complexes, being indecisive, and being overly opportunistic, among many others

5. Women’s strengths are the ability to listen, be emotionally supportive, play games, hint, over sensitive, and control. (6531)

5. Strengths: nurturing and motherly nature, strong willed, ability to empathize, manipulative mindset especially with men, they are the only mammals with a body organ with the sole purpose of pleasure
Weaknesses: indirect nature with communication, emotional balancing (i.e. emotion over logic), physical strength, dealing with constructive criticism, gravitation towards drama 1228

5.) Women are often very nurturing and caring. It is as if they need to be there to help out what/whoever they are there for. There biggest weakness may be their oversensitivity to small things that men don’t even think twice about (7330)

5. A strength of women is that they are very perceptive especially in social situations. In defining this as a strength I mean it is a tool women posses. a tool that can be used positively or negatively. A weakness of women is that they tend to over analyze things and read meaning into insignificant actions. (8427)


#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

Coming back into the school year, a girl I was dating somewhat assured me that we would be back together when we got back to school from the summer. However, with little to no communication over the summer, she proceded to date another male as soon as we got back, leaving me completely stranded. Party time! (3839)

6...When I first dated my wife she would always assume that whenever I went out with my colleagues that I was cheating on her. Granted, this was early in the relationship, but we were still very serious at this point. I took offense to this because one of the reason's I was attracted to her was because of her independence, and that she wasn't the jealous type. At that point she proved the opposite, and unnecessary fights were consistently happening. Eventually we worked out our issues, but it took longer than I felt it needed to be. (8831)

#6. Many times. I’m not the stereotypical alpha male, so I’m often looked over as a potential partner. Perhaps that’s not unfair though. Maybe it’s natural selection at work. An example may be that I’m having a conversation with a female. Then, when another guy comes over, the female starts talking to him and disregards me. (1208)

6. During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to comiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)
In a past relationship every time I brought up a different girls name other than my girlfriend at the time it caused a fit of jealousy from my girlfriend. I couldn’t speak of female colleagues or co-workers with out sending my girlfriend into a bad mood, or accusing me of being unfaithful. I believe these actions and feelings were the result of fear of losing someone that she had a vested interest and connection to. I’ve noticed actions similar to these with many of my friends in relationships, drawing me to conclude that my thoughts or rational of the actions .

6. I was early into a relationship with a girl. I was texting my sister while sitting next to her. She saw a female’s name on my phone and immediately began accusing me of cheating. She eventually admitted that her previous boyfriend had repeatedly cheated on her. She had been conditioned to believe that all men were cheaters. This led her to believe that I was doing the same thing. She calmed down when I was able to convince her that the girl was my sister. However, I was still in trouble for not paying enough attention to her. (0298)

I once went out on a date with the rudest feminist I have ever met. When I opened the door for her she gave me a lecture on how we aren’t in the 50’s anymore and that women can get their own doors without any help. When the bill came, I started to take out my wallet but stopped and politely asked if she would like to split the bill. She then gave me a monologue lecture on how gentlemen don’t exist anymore especially when they don’t want to pay for the whole dinner. I failed epically on multiple occasions that night, none of which I considered to be severe on a date with a sane individual. (5 092)

6. There was this one instance when this one girl that I was dating at the time went to one of her friend's birthday parties. Since I did not really know the friend I decided not to go and instead hung out with some of my friends. My girlfriend told me she was most likely going to spend the night so I decided to start joining in on my friends who were playing beer pong and just having a good time. However, at about midnight my girlfriend called me and wanted me to come over. I told her I was drunk and that I could not drive and she lost it. She began yelling at me about how we never hang out and how I always made her come to me. I tried explaining to her that she had told me she was going to spend the night, but she replied with "I said most likely, that is not a definite yes". Anyways she continued yelling at me for always doing this. Needless to say that relationship soon ended. (9814)

6. I have had girls get angry at me for things I have said or done (or more often not done) for things that shouldn’t be upsetting at all. (1866)

#6.As previously stated, women tend to be overly opportunistic and overly-judgmental. Consequently, on numerous occasions when talking with females in social situations about my social status, interests, and goals, I have been completely “shot down” for simply not being in finance (not making millions) or not driving a BMW. (6921)

6. When you are with a girl and receive a text or call from another girl, it is never a good thing and usually always leads to conflict. It was during a scenario like this where I was treated unfairly, and accused of cheating, flirting, or just having interest in another girl. It was very annoying and wrong of the girl I was with to act in such a way, especially when they ask to see all your texts and go through all your personal conversations. (6531)

6. I have very open conversations with female friends including opinions on males’ opinions and preferences of sex and I can ask the same questions with a female friends. At one point I was in the early stages of a relationship, the girl in question had a tendency to use my iPhone for various purposes. I received a text from friend who was asking my opinion on a sex matter. My girlfriend immediately assumed I was cheating on her without a desire to discuss the matter. I was really annoyed because she immediately made so many assumptions without a real respect for the truth. It took a lot of unnecessary effort to distill the matter, and it did not help that the female friend’s name, Alex, could be taken as Alexandra or Alexander.1228

6. I can’t think of any time when I was treated unfairly by the other sex only based on my sex. I can usually figure out some other reason that at least seems plausible. (8427)

6.) One example would probably be freshmen year of college when I was asked by the females in the room to kill a spider that was lingering. I was being peer pressured into doing this. (7330)


#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

A girl comforted me at her apartment with food and water, etc. Then she drove me to a party nearby. I believe that its the motherly, or caring, instinct in her that drove her to take care of me. (3839)

7...Not simply because of my gender. That's actually kind of sad to say because I feel that most women would treat me a certain way only to gain something. Sure there might have been a few women who buck this trend, but on a whole I just feel that most women treat men certain ways because of attraction to them, or their need to extract something of value from them. Pretty harsh, but my assessment. Men are no different except most of the time we're treating women well to sleep with them. (8831)

#7. No, I cannot think of an instance where a female has treated me well solely based on the fact that I’m male. Perhaps society does, but not individual females. (1208)

7. I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.

7. When discussing automobiles, women tend to assume that I know what is going on. It seems that just because I am a male, I should know cars. There was an instance where I was at a mechanic’s shop. Two women, neither of whom I knew, were having a discussion. In order to clear up an issue, they asked me a question about cars. They let what I said settle the debate. They treated me as if I were an authority on the issue simply because I was a man. (0298)

I recently spent time in China on a business trip, and had several crucial meetings for the development of the company. In Chinese culture males are considered good luck, therefore treated with the upmost respect. This was interesting to see women that were so subservient to men and obedient to their men. Women only spoke when they were directed to, and were at the beckon call of the primary businessmen. Here, due to my gender I was given anything that I desired and seemed to have a personal assistant to help me with any task.(9818)

I cannot think of any particular instance in which I was treated exceedingly well by the opposite sex because of my gender. I will acknowledge, however, that women in general have told me that it is easier to talk to me than it is to talk to their closest friends, which is always a welcomed compliment. (5092)

7. My older female neighbor would constantly seek me out for yard work and moving heavy objects in her house. She would overcompensate me each time and praise God that their finally was a “man around” to help her out. I’m not sure if this really qualifies however it is the only instance I can think of being treated well specifically because of my gender. (7626)

7. I do not think there have been any instances in which I was treated particularly well, simply because of mine or their gender. I know of instances where I was treated well by the opposite sex, but it was because of what I did, not just because I was a guy or they were a girl. (9814)

7. I have had girls act particularly nice to me when they wanted me to do something for them and not nearly as nice at other times, but I’m not sure that is really because of my gender to be honest. Otherwise I can’t really think of too many situations where I was treated well just for being a guy. (1866)

#7 The only instances that I can recall where I have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex are when I sense that they could be potentially interested in me. The only other instance would be is if I was talking with a mother who sympathizes because they have a son of the same age or something along those lines. (6921)

7. Instances of being treated well by women are usually sparked because you are acting aloof or like you don’t really need them. This seems to make them want you more because they try to prove themselves or make you want them by doing various things for you, ranging from giving you more attention, doing things for you, etc. (6531)

7.) I’ve had a girl help me out with classnotes freshmen year when I was very sick and I had to miss class. It was a very nice thing of her to do and it was a very nurturing type of thing. (7330)

7. I was recently sick with the flu, and I asked one of my close friends to pick me up some Theraflu since she lives right across the street. Beyond the Theraflu, she came over to my apartment with day and night time meds, Sudafed, and decongestants and she made me pancakes and pasta and chicken noodle soup for later. This is a great example of girls’ motherly instincts and caring nature. 1228

7. I have several female friends that seem to like to take care of me. In particular if they know if I am starting to talk to a girl or if I just had a bad experience with a girl they will usually try to seek me out to see how I am doing, offer advice, listen, or just give me a hug. (8427)


#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

8. She was not overly considerate nor was she inconsiderate; rather, she was very modest and neutral about it. I didn’t find rude in any way, although I did feel slighted, possibly because it was not the answer I was expecting. I cannot recall a particular feeling, other than that I was almost caught off-guard. The fact that we were both intoxicated might have had a significant impact on the entire situation. (8315)

#8. I was enamored with a particular female and asked her to a dance. She did not flat out say no, but she said she’d think about it. From that time on, she didn’t spend any time with me, only made brief comments to me when we’d run into each other, and generally did not pay me any attention. Her behavior wasn’t rude per se, but it was quite degrading. I felt dejected and like I’d lost a friend. I wish she had just said what she meant. (1208)

Well, as aformentioned in question 6, the girl I was dating treated me unfairly by leaving me hanging with false hopes. I believe that if you are going to make a decision that involves the other person, it isn't just guy-code to communicate your plans, its human code. She rejected me because I was going with the original plan to get back together or at least work on it, while she apparently wasn't while refusing to at least inform me of the direction she wanted to go. It made me feel sad and betrayed, but it also lit a flame inside me. It became somewhat of a motivation to have an awesome time last semester, which I did. (3839)

8...I was dating this girl who was 4 years younger than me and I definitely came on too strong. I was lonely, and needed someone to help me through a rough patch of my life at the time. I thought she was going to do that, but I wound up getting mixed signals. This made me try even harder. I sent her a random gift in the mail, and she obviously looked at this action as a way of me trying to objectify her. She was probably right and it stunk of desperation. Therefore, my attractiveness to her fell off completely, and she told me to never call her again. Kind of brash, but she wasn't as interested I was in her so it wasn't fun for her anymore. (8831)

8. In one instance of rejection, my 8th grade girlfriend broke up with me when I called her to plan a date. Although she was not particularly rude, I was rather hurt that she chose to do it when I had called her. However, she did not seem spiteful, but more matter-of-fact about it and a bit apologetic. I suppose in the long-run it was good of her to just be honest, instead of waiting for our date to break the news to me, but at the same time, she could have been more proactive with contacting me about the issue, rather than waiting for me to walk into it. (0645)

8. One time I really liked this girl. Whenever I was around her, I became nervous. After a couple of days, I asked her if she wanted to go out on a date. She declined. At first I was really hurt because I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. However, after the fact I realized that she simply wasn’t attracted to me in that way. She was very nice in the way she declined. We continued being friends even after she rejected me. (0298)

Several months ago I was talking to a girl that I found very attractive, the rejection came in more of a void than anything else. The girl acted uninterested, and had short responses. I quickly took the hint and moved on, I didn’t have a negative feeling towards the situation realizing that failure is much more commonplace than success. If the girl were more straightforward in her words it would have expedited the process.

8.) I once told a female that I was interested in her and I never got a clear response. We kept on hanging out and I feel like she wasn’t sure herself. Nothing ever came of it, which is fine with me. I feel, overall, like it was a very considerate way of doing this. (7330)

8. In high school I was very attracted to a certain female who I thought was sending me all the right signals. We were spending lots of time together, laughing, touching, and genuinely having a good time. One day I decided to ask her out. She responded by laughing and saying that she thought of me as one of her “girlfriends.” For a guy, I feel this was probably the very worst way she could have answered. She could have just said “no.” (7626)

I do not approach women randomly in social places. I only go out on dates with people I know. In one particular instance, I was rejected by a girl who told me that she loved me like a big brother and knew that I would always protect her no matter what. This was the most considerate way I can imagine rejecting from her perspective, and I thank her for that. (5092)

8. During my junior year of high school there was this girl that I was attracted to. I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie that weekend. Instead of just saying she was busy or already had plans, she laughed and said "NO!" I just remember replying "Wow. You're a f*cking bitch" and then just walked away. I was hurt but not all that much. I just remember thinking that if that was how she turns someone down, then I did not even want to go to the movies with her. (9814)

8. My girlfriend my senior year in high school called me and broke up with me about a week before I was supposed to go visit her at her college. She was clearly pretty sad about it too and did it in a considerate way but I had very little warning before, it almost came out of nowhere. We tried to stay friends but a while later she seemed to come up with this whole list of things that were completely untrue about why we broke up. One was that we never talked about music and politics or something like that, and we at least used to talk about music all the time. I think she just kind of created them to make herself feel better about it, but it really annoyed me and I
didn’t see her for months after that. (1866)

8. One time I was at USC at a frat party where everyone was dancing and having a good time and a girl yelled at me for trying to dance with her because I didn’t ask. Nobody courts women to the dance floor, you just go up and start dancing with someone and go with it, this girl was just ridiculous and rude and wanted to make some kind of point. After the fact, I kind of felt like a jerk, or slightly rude, but I realized that I didn’t do anything wrong, she just had a stick up her ass about something and was being aggressive. She could have just moved away, like normal people do all the time, but she made it a point to flip out for some reason. (6531)

8. One time I was rejected it seemed as though the girl and I were going to become something more. She had people over at her house while her parents were gone and we had a really good night together. However, her parents found out from her neighbors and she got in trouble. She had never really done anything to betray her parents trust before so this was a big deal for her and she felt incredibly guilty. This may or may not have affected her choice to turn me down after that. Either way, she was very emotional and began crying when she told me. I was disappointed but not particularly angry with her because I knew she hadn’t really had any experience in dealing with guys and was going through a lot of other issues at the time and it must have been hard for her to deal with. Also, she told me she knew she wasn’t being fair to me and it made her feel even worse. (8427)


Well I admitted to a girl I had known for a while about having feelings for her and attempted to ask her out. She was very polite about rejecting me and all, and gave, well... excuses, most of which were fairly weak, and some turned out to be straight out lies. I tried to at least remain friends after that point, but it just stayed terribly awkward between us, and it honestly never really felt okay between us after that one time. We ended up drifting pretty far apart and haven't really kept in touch. I kind of blamed myself for it all, but really she could have taken it a little better. I guess we both were at fault. There was always more either of us couldve done to make it better, but we never did. (0655)

#8 Just this past weekend I was rejected by a girl, despite what appeared to be clear and obvious signals that she was interested. For several months, I had been trying to hang out with a girl who I had met through a few friends of mine. For weeks time went by and no response. Nonetheless, out of the blue and to my surprise, I received a text message from her stating we should ‘hang soon’. I would have not read too much into it had she not texted me the next few nights asking to hang out (unfortunately couldn’t on those nights). However, more importantly, I finally invited her and her friends to a party at a club, so we could finally ‘hang’. Arriving solo (by herself) and very enthusiastically, I decided I should make a move that night. Accordingly an hour or so later and a few drinks in, I guided her to the dance floor where I eventually made a move. After a few minutes of excruciatingly awkward kissing, she ran off ‘to go the bathroom’. Of course, a few minutes later I received a text message from her saying she had to leave. I wouldn’t consider the behavior inconsiderate per say, however, a bit rude and unnecessary. A simple ‘I’m not interested’ or ‘just want to be friends’ would suffice. (6921)

8. Several months ago, I was spending time with a girl I found very attractive. I assumed that we had been dating because we had been going out to dinner, to movies, to the beach, etc., and we had been sharing some light intimacy – that is, holding hands and cuddling. Sometime in the middle of hanging out one day, she asked me my opinions on what she should do about some guy she had been seeing. I was a little taken aback, but I instantly took the hint that she wanted a platonic relationship. I was annoyed that she was so nonchalant about her and me, and she could have been a little more direct in communicating that she was not into me.1228


Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

9. I would do my best to pick up on subtle hints or desires that she may seem to have, which would determine my course of action. If there is seemingly no desire on her part to become physically intimate, I will then have no interest in seeking any physical intimacy. However, if there seems to be a subtle desire on her part to become physically intimate, I would probably leave subtle hints about my true intentions, then wait for the right moment to actually engage in some sort of physical intimacy. There is no specific plan or strategy to become physically intimate; instead, I take each moment as it comes. Although, after physical intimacy has begun, I am very forward and honest about my true intentions for the evening. (8315)

I would communicate those feelings non-verbally in a touchy-feely, comforting way while maintaining that smooth feeling of the date. Non-aggression is always the key in these situations. I would also enact the push-pull tactic where I would make it seem like I want her and then push her away, initiating a desire for me in her. (3839)

#9. On our date, as we were walking I would attempt walk arm in arm with her, and once the novelty of that wore off, I would take her hand in mine and gauge her response by looking deep into her eyes. Then, she would either be captivated by me and we would engage in a fiery embrace or the moment would not yet be right and I would just smile and we’d continue on our way. Later, I would make sure we were in a location that permitted intimacy, put my arm around her, and gauge her response. She may be passive or push me away, in which case I’d wonder if she was playing hard to get or didn’t want me to do that. I may verbally inquire as to her feelings. If she seemed to enjoy the contact, I might go in for the kiss and then let nature take it’s course if we felt inclined to go further (clothes off and wildly make passionate love). (1208)

9. I would probably find excuses to have physical contact with the girl, such as putting my arm around her shoulder, or holding her hand, etc. Her responsiveness to this would help me gauge how interested she is physically. Also, I might try to direct the conversation towards a more sexual topic, possibly with light jokes about sex. (0645)
9...Definitely by initiating physical contact. I would purposefully try to make contact by maybe placing my hand gentle on her back while we were walking through a door going to a restaurant or something. It sounds stupid, but if that physical contact is returned then you can escalate it even further. Once the initial contact is done then you start to go to work on your non-verbal skills in the form of looks, or coy smiles. You're basically telling her that whatever she's doing is working, and that you want more of it. (8831)

9. I would start by holding her hand throughout the night in an attempt to plant the seed of intimacy. If this does not work, I cannot say what I would do next. It would differ from situation to situation depending on how I felt about the girl and how I suspected that she felt. (0298)

9. I would be very playful with her throughout the night. I would tease her and make as much subtle physical contact as possible. If she responded by touching more as well then I would just go in for it eventually. (7626)

I would start out very subtly asking her to walk with me somewhere and try to gently ease into holding her hand. If the walk fails I would attempt to find a club or restaurant where dancing is a norm. Any excuse for physical contact with her would be the first step, and gradually that physical contact should increase throughout the night to the point where she is the one who wants sexual activity instead of the guy begging for it. (5092)

I would hint towards my intentions through bringing up sexual jokes or questions about tendencies and preferences. Eventually initiating contact through holding hands or going for a kiss.(9818)

9. I would start by doing the little things, like holding her hand as we walked back to the car or something, putting my arm around her at the movies, or something like that just to show her that I am physically attracted to her and that I do like her. As far as going as far as I want sexually, I would actually take it slow. If it has been a month and we have not really done anything physically intimate, I cannot just expect her to want to have sex. I would end the date by trying to kiss her and see her reaction from there. (9814)

9. I would definitely try to make some kind of physical contact first, put my arm around her, hold her hand.. depends on the situation. Then I would just go from there based on how she was reacting. (1866)

#9 First I would like to preface by saying if I felt the girl was or would not be physically interested/attracted, I would not really pursue or try to convince her to get physical. That being said, if I felt that I had a chance, I would simply try and be more aggressive, in addition to flirting more. Also, the situation would depend on the type of girl… If I felt that I had a chance, but the girl would only be willing if I took her out to a “nice” restaurant or place, I would probably do so as in this situation the girl knows exactly what she wants and how to give back in return. However, that is not the case with all females, clearly. It would also depend on if you actually liked the girl…sometimes dates are simply a formality for ‘hooking’ up and all men are guilty of that at one point or another. In summation, it is circumstantial, but to give a brief answer: be more aggressive/confident and flirt more (demonstrate your interest). (6921)

9. I would feel the vibe out and see how she felt through her body language. Beginning to get close and touch hands, etc would indicate that she was comfortable, or sitting close, and then take things slowly as they happened. (6531)

9.) It is best to continue reciprocating hints. If the opposite sex doesn’t initiate, then it is up to you to take that responsibility. This leads to more flirting and touching that may grow into something physically intimate (7330)

9. I would definitely attempt to break the touch barrier while maintaining or catering to a suave and non-threatening atmosphere. From there, I would just try to gauge the situation by looking from any reciprocity. Depending on the girl and the situation, I would either be indirect and flirt or be direct and open about the matter 1228

9. Well some of what I would do would depend on the girl and what her personality was like so I can’t describe it. I would for sure try to initiate physical contact but in a way that is relevant to the situation. For instance, taking her hand as we cross the street. This is obviously not necessary as she can cross the street by herself but it initiates physical contact, making her more comfortable with it in the future, it shows a protective nature, and it can be easily done in a playful relaxed manner. This makes her wonder if I am in to her or if I was just being funny and nice. This is further accentuated by letting her hand go once we get across safely. Furthermore, I would make sure the date was well planned and had multiple activities. This gives the perception that we have experienced a lot together and bonded and we would as we did a lot together. Also, having logistics figured out makes the date easier for her and shows that I am comfortable being a leader. (8427)


#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

I would maintain friendly communication and avoid any non-verbal cues of physical attractiveness. I would maintain a cool, calm, and composed stature as if to say, "We are just friends, and I am comfortable with that." (3839)

10. I would be sure to keep my interaction with her kind and interested, but not overly engaging or intimate. In other words, I would do my best not to give her a false green light to be come physical with me. I would keep the conversation away from sex, romance, or intimacy at all costs, and I would avoid any unneccesary physical contact. If contact did occur or she made a move on me, I would find a polite way to excuse myself, or simply be honest with her that I am not physically interested if I cannot get out of the situation with another reason. (0645)
#10. Bluntness is the answer here. Girls might be sharp and stab you in the back concerning these things, but as a guy, I know the right answer to this question. No subtlety at all, if she makes an advance (either verbally or physically) respond with a concerned frown (not smiling) and say “This has been a good date, but I really am not interested in you. You’re great and everything, but not the one for me.” Some form of reassurement is necessary here, lest you crush their confidence. (1208)

10. In this case, it is not hard to make my true intentions known. If I genuinely have no interest in any sort of physical intimacy with a woman who is obviously interested in physical intimacy with me, I will make it obvious by my actions, tone, etc, that I, unfortunately, have no interest. I don’t think it would be fair to either party if I were dishonest (either explicitly or implicitly) about the way I felt regarding any physical intimacy. (8315)

I would be friendly but keep my distance spatially and not engage in intimate dialogue. Being a male, this situation would be much easier for me to deal with because the male is always expected to make the first move. (5626)
10...Send mixed signals. I'd rather a girl think I was weird or something then deal with a potentially bad situation that has the possibility of lasting longer than intended. Besides, if a girl is too needy then you lose respect for them. The chase and fire that you want no longer exists so you're just spinning your wheels. (8831)

10. I would probably tell her that she reminded me of my sister in order to establish that I do not view her in a sexual way. If she made a move on me I would tell her that I value her friendship too much to risk ruining it. (7626)

10. I would be as subtle as possible. I would not engage in any physical contact with the girl. I would not even discuss physical contact or intimacy of any kind. Hopefully this would send the message. If not, I would simply be as polite as I could by respectfully declining her attempts at physicality. (0298)

1o. I would attempt to change the scene where it is inappropriate to be physically intimate. In avoiding physical contact throughout the night, hopefully her urge dies down. If not, then I would flat out explain to her (before it gets to a certain point) that I enjoyed the time together, but I do not see the two of us working out together in the future. (5092)

I would tell the person straightforward that I do enjoy their company but do not wish to have any sort of physical relationship. I believe that being straightforward in situations is the easiest and least troublesome in the long run.(9818)

10. I think the best way to influence the person to avoid becoming sexual is to just explain to them in a respectful way that you just feel differently. I know that the conversation will be weird and awkward but if you really want to avoid the consequences and hurting her feeling, then you just have to tell her how you truly feel and hope she understands. (9814)

10. I would keep up the conversation but try to act a little more aloof, not act too interested in anything they were saying but not so far as being rude. And not make any kind of moves, usually we have to be the first to make one. (1866)

#10 I unlike many people, particularly women, am direct and would simply state my opinion. Upon first glance, again particularly to women, this might appear insensitive and mean. However, I believe it is the most fair and rational thing to do as to not waist each other’s times. Many females, in contrast, will play long and drawn out games to avoid such situations…however I believe this is unfair and an irrational way of handling the situation. (6925)

10. I would remain friendly throughout the date, try not to touch too much, and avoid deep/emotional topics that usually lead to a trust/connection between two people. I would stay on very casual topics like school, friends, etc rather than really getting into what she enjoys and finding similarities with us, because that would just lead to her being let down. (6531)

10) I was act like myself around a friend and not reciprocate those feelings the opposite sex may be showing. This person should eventually pick up on the fact that I do not have any interest in a physical relationship. (7330)

#10. Starting with physical actions, I would keep a moderate amount of space, no breaking the touch barrier, and I would not use body position to communicate openness (i.e. setting up for her to lean on me). Verbally, I just wouldn’t initiate any intimate conversations, but if she does, I would be honest but omit details. If a conversation about her and I comes up, I would just be honest, sincere, and break the news lightly. 1228

10. I wouldn’t put myself in this type of situation to begin with. If I wasn’t attracted to this girl I wouldn’t go on a date with her, let alone several dates, because it wouldn’t be fair to her and I would be putting myself in a bad situation. If I was to hang out with this girl I would make sure to convey it was platonic and not romantic. (8427)



For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

11… more attention is given to another woman that they see as inferior, in at least some way, to themselves. (8315)

#11. When you talk for more than a moment with other females. (1208)

11...when another girl who is of greater physical beauty then them is around. (8831)

I check out a hot girl right in front of them who also is very hot. (3839)

11.) You are seen talking and maybe flirting with another physically attractive women (7330)

11. …they recognize another woman’s attraction towards someone they like.

11. they feel ignored (0645)
11. They feel that another girl has taken their mans’ attention.(9818)

when the person they like/are going out with talks to other girls, especially when they are nearby. (0655)

11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become insanely jealous when a man gives more attention to their less attractive friends.(7626)

their boyfriends interact or have friends that are females. (5092)

11. their boyfriend, or someone they are currently seeing, is talking, or maybe even harmlessly flirting a little, with a girl at a party or anywhere for that matter. Even if the action is harmless and the guy is just being friendly and the flirting is just coming naturally it does not mean that they are no longer interested in you, and girls should ask the guy before they immediately assume the worse. (9814)

#11 They see things that other people have that they themselves do not possess.

11. A woman’s boyfriend/husband acknowledges a member of the opposite sex in a positive way. The woman seems to feel the need to compare herself to the other woman. (0298)

11. you talk to other girls. (1866)

11. When you interact with your friends who are girls in front of them, or receive any kind of female attention in front of them at all. (6531)

11. they see competition. 1228

11. ...a guy is talking to their friend and showing them little attention. (8427)


#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

12… seems to think that they need not make any effort. (8315)

lays back and lets the man do the work. (3839)

12. Leaves it for the man. (0298)

12...wait's for the man to make the first move unless they're drunk. (8831)

#12. is very withdrawn. (1208)

12. is usually hesitant. For females, sex is more than just sex. It is an emotional experience that is supposed to signify trust, love, and comfortableness. However, most guys just view sex as sex and do not necessarily see the deeper meaning that most females see. (9814)

tend to be more seductive in “reeling in” men while men are the ones who approach women. (5092)

12. almost always waits for the male to act first, but doesn’t always give very clear signals. (1866)

12. Tends to become attached to a degree.(9818)

12. When it comes to imitating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex tends to puff their chest out, bit the lips and let the men come to them. (7626)

12.) Thinks you are the one who will be the initiator (7330)

Looks at their standard criteria of whether a guy is
-rich or has money
-can provide what they want

12. Lets the guy take control and set the pace for the great night ahead. (6531)

12. has the upper hand as they leave it to the men. 1228

12. …doesn’t like to feel pressure and likes to feel like things just happened. (8427)


#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

13… a male friend’s true intentions. (8315)

The desire for physical superiority. (3839)

13.When a guy wants to be left alone he really doesn’t want to be around people, he isn’t using code talk like a female. (6163)
#13. video games, sports, and other things that are bro-like and important to males. (1208)

The motivation behind a male’s behavior in different situations and contexts. (5626)

13. The differences in the ways that males and females communicate. (0298)

13. The regular communication patterns of males.(9818)

13...controlling their emotions. (8831)

13. The opposite sex seems clueless about how important sports and other competitive forms of entertainment are to men. (7626)

13.) What is motivating the male to talk to the female (7330)

what they want. (5092)

13. a guys love for video games. Video games allow guys to relieve stress and do things that they cannot normally do in real life. (9814)

13. How guys really think. (1866)

#13 The male mind (6921)

13. Leaving a guy alone when he needs to be alone, and giving space when its needed. (6531)

13. how naturally simple men are. 1228

13. ....men often have no intent to hurt them when they do. (8427)

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

14… seems to require; but I’m O.K. with it. (8315)

absolutely loves. (3839)

14. …acts as if it is important.
14...insists upon for the duration of the relationship. (8831)
#14. Enjoys slightly too much to be sustainable; They enjoy constant romance yet desire spontaneity. (1208)

14. The opposite sex that the opposite sex intensely desires deep down, unfortunately often never experiences it, and sadly is often superficially injected into every brief sexual encounter in order to disguise it from what it really is. (7626)


14. Is very good at. (0298)

admire about boys and need periodically throughout a relationship… Some more than others. (5092)

14. respects and if a guy does it then it is something special. (9814)

14. desires and puts effort into. (1866)

14.) Really looks for (7330)

14. Appreciates, and is highly appreciative of.(9818)

dreams about, and can sometimes be let down by real life. (0655)

#14 Can value greatly, but is not always the case. A perfect example, “nice guys finish last”…not all women desire romantic men, but rather what they can provide.

14. Loves, they want their romantic experiences to be just like in the romance movies and romantic comedies. (6531)

14. reveres. 1228

14. …sometimes enjoys and sometimes doesn’t need. (8427)


#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

15… comparing their boyfriend/girlfriend to other potential boyfriends/girlfriends. (8315)

15...asking stupid hypothetical questions that back you into a corner of having to say the wrong things. (8831)

putting out rediculous scenarious and asking for our opinion. (3839)

#15. Asking questions with no right answer. (1208)

15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship tests by asking subtle questions especially about other women that rarely have a satisfactory answer. (7626)

15. …making them choose between them or their friends.

15. Asking ludicrous questions about scenarios that would never arise.(9818)

15. Creating scenarios that are farfetched and would probably never happen, but then get mad if you answered them logically. (6531)

15.) Asking them questions that may hint at a different personality than initially believed (7330)

15. Testing loyalty. Women put their boyfriends between “rocks” and “hard places” making them choose between them or the man’s friends. (0298)

giving the man a decision and saying she doesn’t care either or, but in actuality in her mind,

15. doing something on purpose to see how their boyfriend will respond. Sometimes they will just not do anything and see if their boyfriend will step it up and make plans or want to see them. (9814)

15. saying something that is completely different than what they actually believe/want and seeing if we can guess the actual truth. (1866)

15. Messing with their heads and emotions. (6921)

15. playing mind games and being very indirect, ridiculous scenario questions, and making them choose between friends or her. 1228

15. … seeing how men react to different situations to learn about them. (8427)


#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...
16… “tradition.” (8315)

basic human morals. (3839)

#16. chivalry, military conscription, and child custody. (1208)

16...chivalry, paying the check, taking out the trash, walking the dog,...this can go on for a long time but I'll stop here. (8831)

16. …chivalry such as expecting men to pay for dinner and give them the whole princess treatment.

16. asking men out on dates, being treated to food/outings constantly. (0645)

16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to really anything. Women are constantly confused between wanting equality and wanting to be “treated like queens.” (7626)

Initiating interest, making sexual advances, paying for them, and traditional courtesies. (5626)
it comes to being romantic on a date or within a relationship... and paying for dinner (5092)

16. Paying for things. Women want to be treated equal in every other aspect of life; however, when the check comes, the man has to pay. (0298)

16. Tasks that they don’t have any interest in doing or detest.(9818)

16. nothing, they want equality in everything. (9814)

16. Starting relationships, men always have to make the first move in every stage. (1866)

anytime they can use their gender as an excuse to some benefit. (0655)

#16 Chivalry and the dating process. The opposite sexes logic is frequently hypocritical. (6921)

16.) When it come to chores like changing the oil of a car. (7330)

16. Having to pay or do anything physically straining. (6531)

16. initiating interests, sexual desire, and acts of chivalry. 1228

16. … being protective and wanting to take a dominant role as leader. (8427)


#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

17… can either dislike or like, depending on the context of the situation. (8315)

exudes. (3839)

#17. possesses. In great quantities. It’s quite annoying. (1208)

17. …can not over or even fake.
17...isn't as known for as men. (8831)

17. Holds over men. Women are very possessive of their men. (0298)

does not want men to be, but simultaneously wants the male to be protective. (5092)

17.exhibits when another girl that is physically attractive approaches their "man". (9814)

17. can carry a little too far. (1866)

17. Will tear a relationship apart.(9818)

17.) Prefers in man in some situation and not in other situations when the women is involved (7330)

17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex feels all the time regardless of whether they show it or not. (7626)

#17 Desires and thrives off of. (6921)

17. Loves to have. Women love to feel like you are theirs and no one else’s, they want you all to themselves and if that is even slightly threatened then you are in the dog house. (6531)

17 abuses and takes too far. 1228

17. … sometimes exhibits but only if a man allows them to. (8427)

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

18… depends on it more often than they should. (8315)
struts their stuff, for their very life depends on it. (3839)

18...will usually go for the man with more money because of the perks. (8831)

#18. is very sexy; they put vast amounts of effort into being presentable. (1208)

18. is objectively way more asthetically pleasing to the eye than men are. (0645)
tends to focus on (and are this more sensitive to criticism about) their appearance. (5092)

18. Holds an advantage. Women can make men do whatever they want. (0298)

18. Abuses the persuasiveness of eye candy.(9818)

18. When it comes to physical attractiveness the opposite sex experiences a pressure to meet a certain standard beyond the realm of understanding of man. (7626)

18. uses it to their advantage. (9814)

18. is a lot more attractive then men but sometimes use this advantage manipulatively. (1866)

....pretends like they aren't as influenced by it as we are. (0655)

#18 Is easy to judge others and jump to false conclusions

18) is able to use to their advantage more then man can. (7330)

18. Likes to dress to impress and feel that they are very physically attractive. They also want a man who is good looking, however, they do consider other aspects pretty evenly, at least more than men. (6531)

18. this feature to be manipulative. 1228

18. …is attracted by it but personality is more important and personality can enhance or diminish her subjective view on a man’s physical attractiveness. (8427)

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

19… claims to not worry too much about (which is obviously not true). (8315)
are instinctually attracted to. (3839)

19...takes into major consideration when choosing a man. (8831)

#19. prefers their partner to have. (1208)

19. react differently to. Some women are validated by their ability to buy things and influence others. Some are extremely down-to-earth. (0645)
Are much more important to than men. (5626)
19. Highly considers when selecting a significant other.(9818)

19. cares about, but then again so do men. (9814)

takes into consideration when looking for a boyfriend or spouse. (5092)

19.Want in their future. (6163)
19. Money and status are things that the opposite sex pretend to overlook however means everything to them. (7626)

19. Value very highly. (0298)

19. do consider for the future. (1866)

19. Lusts for just as much as physicality (6921)

19) Find important when comparing options (7330)

19. Are attracted to because they want to have whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want it. With money and status, these things are easily attained, which girls love, although they do not want to admit it because it was seem shallow of them. (6531)

19. respects and considers when choosing men. 1228

19. …is attracted to status but what status means is different to each woman. Money isn’t attractive but a man that can take care of her and money is often an indicator of this. (8427)

#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

20… is irreparably ignorant and narrow-minded.

ignores a simple hello from me. (3839)

20...snoops on my personal space, and/or personal relationships. (8831)

shows insecurities (9701)

#20. ignores me. (1208)

20. …acts towards me in a negative way because of prior experiences with guys that treated them poorly or because of untrue assumptions that they have about me.

20. Is hypocritical about what they think about me. (0645)
20. It hurts me the most when the opposite sex treat men as if we are all the same. (7626)

20. Feel that they cannot trust men. (0298)

20. Has mood swings over insignificant actions.(9818)

stereotype that all men are the same, thus prejudging men when barely meeting someone for the first time. (5092)

20. assumes that just because I did not call, thinks that I do not really care about them. (9814)

10. Judges me immediately without really getting to know me. (1866)

... judgmentally compares me to others directly. (0655

20.) doesn’t smile or wave back hello when it is clear they see/heard you (7330)

20. Act differently in order to get what they want… in short, being fake or unauthentic

20. Feels that we use them, when really we are just doing what they want and then they end up contradicting themselves and act irrationally. (6531)

20. judges me and makes assumptions with no significant justification. 1228

20. …uses sex as leverage rather than something that can be mutually beneficial within itself. (8427)
#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...

21… they are truly open and honest.

#21. they are physically intimate with me. (1208)

they love me. (3839)

21...we laugh together. (8831)

21. …I find out that they are really into me or that our attraction is mutual.

21. They use their charm and talent for care and consideration. (0645)
when they are sincere in their caring for others. (5092)

21. I am early on into a new relationship. (0298)

21. they are comfortable enough with me to not worry about anything, and know that I am there because I want to be, not because I have to be. (9814)

21. They genuinely care about and want to be with me. (1866)

21. You can be yourself with them.(9818)

21. I feel the best about the opposite sex they aren’t scared to act in ways that disregard the societal expectations placed upon them. (7626)

...it feels like they appreciate and understand me. (0655)

21.) When they are straight forward and honest about things (7330)

#21 When they are direct, are themselves, and know what they want out of life and relationships. (6921)

21. They seem into me, hold eye contact and smile warmly at me while we talk and interact. I also like girls who like to give you a hard time, as long as it is all in good fun. (6531)

21. attraction is mutual. 1228.

21. …when I know I can make them happier than anyon
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