Fall, 2011 womens comments

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Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework

Comments by Women

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Next class session. WORTH 10 POINTS

This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) on your computer to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 4 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions below.

You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it. Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/,

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.

Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Women" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Women's Comments page.


(Note: Some comments from previous classes have been included here, given the small class size, to help protect confidentially).

#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling

1. I met this person when I was in high school via some older siblings, and really didn’t know him well at all. After fast forwarding to an event that we both went to years later, I got the impression that this person was attracted to me. I thought very little of it, but in the days following the event we went to, we began to talk a lot. However, despite constant references to making plans, and continued conversations about reasons why we would be a good match, the time to actually be together face-to-face never happened. I was unsure why so much effort went in to getting to know me and making plans with me, and then never following through. There always seemed to be an interest in me whenever we would talk, though slowly but surely our communication began to fizzle. (7071)

1. The behavior of my former coworker, George, in regards to his girlfriend, Diane, is definitely one of the most puzzling instances in my relations with the opposite sex. George and Diane always had a very rocky and dramatic relationship, in which she took on the role of the damsel in distress and George was her knight in shining armor, always there to rescue her. At one point in time George was under the suspicion that Diane was cheating on him. Even though this news took a big toll on George, he continued to play the role of the rescuer as long as Diane pretended to be in need. I think this ties into the male tendency to be the knight in shining armor, to be the one saves his helpless girlfriend and feel needed. This might be an extreme case, but I could not believe how George not only allowed the relationship to continue, he still beckoned to Diane’s every call because it seemed to give him a sense of purpose or power. [3546]

I have dark hair and I was dating a guy once who claimed not to like blondes. He said he was just never that attracted to blondes and just was more turned on by dark haired girls. He had never dated a blonde girl and was weirdly adamant about how he never really wanted to. I never really thought too much about this while we were dating. However, it did come to mind when facebook allowed me to observe the fact that the two girls he dated after me were blonde. I don’t know if he was trying to date something that was furthest from me as possible, or that he had some latent passion for blondes that he newly discovered, but to say I was confused is an understatement. I think he might have said those less than positive comments about blondes in order to make me feel secure about our relationship. I find that guys tend to say things to girls they don’t really mean in order to “get on the good side” of the girl that they are around at the moment. 4108

One aspect of men that I find to be particularly puzzling is the fact that they tend to group all women into one general category. For example, I have known men that have been notorious for being promiscuous. When they start flirting with me, and becoming very touchy-feely, I know that their intentions are clear. When I nicely refuse they are always, without fail, dumbfounded that I will not sleep with them. They assume that since so many other women have had sex with them, that I will do the same. I have also had experiences where men have assumed that I am passing judgment on other women around me, and talking badly about them. Again, they assume that since they have heard other women talking “behind each others’ backs” and passing judgment based on other women’s appearances or actions, that I must carry out the same actions as well. Men seem have a preconceived notion of women, and therefore put every woman into one category. It is incomprehensible to me that they do not realize that every person has individual differences or traits, no matter the sex or gender. 2106

I was once getting to know a guy who was actively pursuing me, and seemed interested in getting to know me better. I met this person when I was in high school via some older siblings, and really didn’t know him well at all. After fast forwarding to an event that we both went to years later, I got the impression that this person was attracted to me. I thought very little of it, but in the days following the event we went to, we began to talk a lot. However, despite constant references to making plans, and continued conversations about reasons why we would be a good match, the time to actually be together face-to-face never happened. I was unsure why so much effort went in to getting to know me and making plans with me, and then never following through. There always seemed to be an interest in me whenever we would talk, though slowly but surely our communication began to fizzle. (7071)

I was in my car on my way home from work and this guy in a truck next to me was trying to get my attention. After he waved, he kept driving next to me trying to talk to me. I looked over and he was sitting there, flashing his genitalia! I don't know anything about this guy and he completely exposed himself to me. Not only is that extremely awkward, it's degrading, rude, and vulgar. I don't understand why guys are obsessed with themselves and their parts. (5688)

Yes, I was shocked to hear that one of my guy friends really liked me and told me while he was drunk, and the next morning said that he said it because he was drunk and is the only time he could be honest about it. I think that men always use alcohol as a confidence and ego booster because it is true how men tend to always say things they would have never said if they weren’t drunk due to their pride. (3593)

I was on a date once with a guy who refused to allow me to pay for some of the date. I usually don’t offer to help pay on a date unless it is an extremely expensive evening, which this most definitely could have been classified as. He took me to a nice dinner in Santa Monica where we ate sushi and ordered wine. After the meal I was contemplating on offering to help, but I decided that since he chose the restaurant he must have been planning on spending a lot anyways. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the evening. We continued the date by walking to the pier where we went on three rides and bought cotton candy, accumulating a fortune of costs and expenses. I had never met this young man before a few days ago, so I was worried that he was trying to impress me with his spending habits. When I insisted that I at least pitch in for our escapades on the pier, he declined me, a bit perturbed. I don’t understand why men can be so stubborn, especially when it comes to money and paying for activities. While I did appreciate his generosity, I also felt a bit like a gold-digger trying to see how much I could get him to pay for. Men can be very stubborn at times as well as protective over their mates while courting. I feel as though his actions were meant to make me feel well taken care of while on the date, which in the end is definitely an attractive quality in a man. (5678)

I would say some smooth sexually things to him in order for him to know what exactly I am talking about. For example, If we went to the movies I would but my leg on his lap, or maybe lay my head on his lap throughout the entire movie. Then, he would have a better idea of what I wanted from him.

1. What I find puzzling about the male sex is not necessarily their inability to read female emotions and moods, but their inability to understand the female emotions and moods. When upset with the male, the female often thoroughly explains why she is upset in a logical manner, however this explanation often tends to have no affect on future actions of the male gender. These conversations more often than not result in the male simply responding with an “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” But there seems to be no real comprehension on the male part of why the female is so upset. Men either do not listen to the explanation, do not care to understand what the other is attempting to say, or actually just doesn’t understand. This has always puzzled me because when explaining the situation to others, usually women, they completely understand my frustration and my reasoning for my anger. But it seems men simply do not understand the thought processes of women. Although men respond with an apology, it is clear they do not really understand, even after twenty minutes of back and forth conversation. 9057

My boyfriend used to have a lot of trouble distinguishing the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship with girls prior to me. I was under the impression that he had dated a co-worker of mine before I met him. She (my co-worker) told me they had casually dated before. When I asked him about it, he expressed that they were only friends. However, when he described their relationship, I totally understood why she thought there was something more than just a friendship. I think the reason is because he did not interpret certain actions the same way she did. I attribute this to his lack of verbal communication. He has had to work on it a lot more since he is in a relationship now. 7080

I had a very strange experience with a friend of mine a few years ago. I considered us to be good friends and we would hand out during school and on weekends sometimes and I thought it was only friendship. Several months later he moved away and stopped talking to me. I asked him about it and found out that he was frustrated because he had wanted more from our relationship, and I had rejected him. I was completely confused; wasn’t he going to tell me he liked me? How was I supposed to know? I suddenly felt extremely guilty like there was a clue I was supposed to pick up on. I have noticed, since then, that men aren’t always quite as overt as stereotyped to be, but I still have trouble understanding that situation when I think back on it. We haven’t spoken since that confrontation, and it troubles me that I still don’t understand what went wrong, and it’s not a mistake I want to make again. (8148)

Last summer, I spent a lot of time with a guy friend I became close to the previous year after reconnecting at a party. Since the party, we’d hung out a lot, deep conversation, and had always been very attracted to each other but pretended not to notice. This was obvious and there was constant flirtation (plus it was confirmed by a mutual friend), but we stayed just friends. I’m shy so I kept hush and he was hesitant about dating in general after being single a few years since a religious change. We became closer and the end of last summer, our long-held feelings came out one night in conversation. Despite them, we eventually decided to just remain good friends- he told me he’d date me, but wasn’t ready to date then, and I agreed. Things went about normally. I returned to school, we Skyped/talked regularly, until suddenly a few weeks pass and I notice he’s minimally responding/ignoring me. Soon I see he has a new female in his life- he totally cut me off. This devastated/angered me because I was hopeful our relationship would grow- but more so that I lost my friend. He talked about how he’d be there for me no matter what- then he cuts me off like I’m nothing, for someone who I found out he knew a month. Sure an explanation can be, “He’s just not that into you.” But it doesn’t make sense why waste so much time and energy on a friendship (that had romantic potential and seemed to be great) to throw it away- and give no reasoning. I don’t know whether to attribute this to males or him personally, although I can’t picture women behaving this way. Maybe men can stop caring if something more convenient comes along as long as it suits what they want at that time? I actually think that’s true now. (3129).

Something i often have trouble understanding about men is the way they convey their emotions. I have been in a few serious relationships, but even with male family members and friends i feel the same way. I know men's conversation in general is different in women, perhaps more instrumental or based on an activity, not feelings or others. But what puzzles me is regardless of age, it seems easy to talk about emotions, except when about the self. in my past relationships the men have always been open to deep conversation and talking about feelings, but as soon as there is an argument about 'us' it seems they all shut down. It does make me wonder if the stereotype about women being more emotional is true, or whether certain men have just never learned to properly convey their own emotions in a way that is acceptable to todays societal standards of what a man should be. (8611)

I recently went out on a date with a man in his early 30’s and throughout the date he continuously tried to impress me with things that don’t matter. He would tell me that if I “behaved” correctly, he would take me out to do these nice things that he was bragging about. Males in general always like to be the one in control, and him telling me to behave a certain way was him taking control over me as well as anything we were planning on in the future…which obviously for me was not ever going to work. 4747

I once dated a guy that would within a span of five minutes go to loving me emotionally and physically to finding it his hobby to point out all the reasons why I was untrustworthy and that no one should ever be with me but he couldn’t bare to be away from me and when I was talking to other guys (even mutual friends) he would continually whisper in my ear that I wanted to ‘do’ things with them and how that made me a terrible person etc. I think that is something that males many times feel that they need to have because it is a gender role of theirs to ‘protect’ the female and if that male stereotype is threaten they too feel like it is a personal attack on them. What I found strange was when he treated my friends in the exact same manner and he justified his actions merely by the fact that it was him doing it and he knew what he was thinking about the whole time as opposed to me doing it and he couldn’t control my thoughts. (5834)

There have often been times when I found my boyfriend's point of views completely incomprehensible. Once I was arguing with my boyfriend about my feelings and what I think is rude/mean, which greatly differed from what he thought. I think his inconsiderate actions for my opinion were due to the fact that he is a male and his brain does not function the way mine does. Females and males have different views about what hurts other's feelings and what doesn’t. Even though I felt degraded by his words, he didn’t agree that they were hurtful. He refused to talk about my feelings and his behavior was dismissive. He lacked emotion and concern for my females, stating that there were more important things to be doing with his day than to talk about how I feel. (8521)

1. I have been in a pretty long-term relationship in which my boyfriend and I have found that we can pretty much discuss any issue and successfully overcome it together. One summer, we were having prolonged issues that we both seemed too stubborn to bring up and find a real solution for. We ended up breaking up at the end of the summer, which was initiated by my boyfriend for reasons that seemed fixable to me. It was extremely puzzling for me to think that we had resolved so many similar issues before, but he was not willing to do the same this time around, despite the fact that I knew he cared very deeply for me. I found myself attributing this response of his to the fact that he was stubborn and set in the idea of breaking up with me, as his friends had advised him to do. I felt that he did not really weigh his own emotions or the strength and ability of the relationship between us before following his friend’s advice. After time passed, he realized his mistake and we eventually got back together. He even admitted to letting his friend influence him too much and never really thinking for himself. (1749) 1. I was fighting with my boyfriend and at some point I realized that we were fighting about two different things. He was upset because as I was explaining why I was upset, I had mentioned that I was with a guy friend. All of a sudden, that’s all he could concentrate on. I think that often times, men focus on the wrong part (usually jealous-related instances) when that’s not what the conversation is about at all. I feel like possessiveness takes precedence over anything else and the conversation moved just to him being jealous. I was so confused how he could turn the situation from me being upset to all about him and his issues with other guys. (6819)

#1. I feel that guys sometimes don’t understand that there is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to interacting with girls. Sometimes even the slightest remakes can come off as degrading and offensive and can make a girl feel very uncomfortable. This past August I moved into a new house with some friends and one day when I was getting into my car, one of the neighbors down the street started barking remarks at me which made me feel really uncomfortable knowing that he lives just a few houses down. Even when guys make very open remarks towards girls on the street, I feel like they think they’re complimenting a girl but it does make some girls uncomfortable and can make a girl feel degraded or objectified. (8397)

A puzzling situation that I have found about men is the ability to compartmentalize emotional issues easier and more efficiently than women. Most men can also feel and express one emotion one day and the next day feel totally different because most will express what they are feeling at that very moment, disregarding their feelings towards the situation in general and as a whole. Perhaps men withdraw and control emotions easier because they have been raised to ignore and settle their emotions more than women, fulfilling gender roles. (6787)

Virtually every guy that I have dated has had difficulty telling me how they feel. This may just be true of these select few guys, but I believe that it is true of the majority of men. It can get very frustrating when men don’t say how they feel because it leaves girls in the dark. It makes girls wonder if they man reciprocates the feelings she has for him. I have found myself in awkward places when I can’t figure out how a guy feels about me. (2060)

What I found puzzling about males is their constant need to be wearing the so-called “pants” in the relationship. We say that chivalry is dead, but most of the males I’ve met thus far (romantic and even platonic at times) always push to being the man of the relationship. This of course means that they open doors, pay for dinner, drive for the night, order for you, and buy gifts. Though it may sound glamorous, it puzzles me why it is that males feel that they “need” to do these things. It seems that they believe a relationship is made on feeding the girls only these gentlemen-like things. However, having a door opened is not as great if the guy does it with a frown, a dinner is not so fun if a conversation doesn’t exist, and I personally do not want to be thought of as spoiled and easily pleased with gifts. What I mean is, they have the tendency to worry about all these. The guy that I was dating for a while was constantly treating me with absolute chivalry, which of course makes you feel great, but it turned out to be a relationship that was based on just pleasing me; he never talked about anything past how his day was and only asked me about how school is. He was one of the kindest guys I’ve ever met, but it seems he felt he “had” to give me gifts in order to have a relationship. He refused, and I mean absolutely refused for me to pay or pay half. But, he never called or texted while I was away, and when we did see each other it was an overload of chivalry. It was just puzzling that he felt this is what he needed to do in order to make me happy. (8616)

While walking through the parking lot with my friend one day a guy passed by us and yelled out, “Hey, how ya’ll doin’?” Before we could respond, he immediately shouted, “I got money.” My friend and I looked at each other and immediately started to laugh. This man, without even taking the time to talk to us, immediately made the assumption that because we were women that we would be interested in him because he “got money.” As puzzling as this was at first, I realized that this was undoubtedly a function of his gender. Unfortunately, a fair number of men believe that women are motivated solely by monetary gains. Whether this man was being serious or joking, he may have still believed this stereotype. (0941)

There are so many to choose from! There is one situation in particular that happens quite frequently and completely boggles my mind. I don’t understand why guys continue to come on to a girl when she has made it plenty clear that she is in a relationship. I have been out with girlfriends at a time that I am in a serious, monogamous relationship and guys have come up to me and tried to start dancing with me. I politely say, “sorry, I have a boyfriend,” but that doesn’t always get them away. Some guys continue to come on to me even after I’ve not only said I’m taken, but then continued to let them know I’m not even close to interested and some go as far as inappropriately touching my body. It seems like when guys are on a mission to get what they want, nothing stops them. But what I don’t understand is why guys feel they are entitled to mess with our personal boundaries that we have set and made extremely clear. (2451)

#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.

2. I like that generally men tend to be less complicated than women in terms of not picking fights at things unnecessarily, or being as catty or passive aggressive as women can be. I also appreciate their protective nature, and the fact that, as a tall woman, men are generally taller and larger than I am. I dislike how shallow a large population of men can be in terms of women, and that men use violence as a way of expressing their manhood. (7071)

2. In general, I like the opposite sex. I think men are great, in spite of their differences to women or the certain characteristic that might irritate me. For example, I don’t like that some men feel they need to dominate women in a relationship. I also don’t like the way our society accepts the alleged fact that men have a higher sex drive and can therefore have more sexual freedom than women can. Men (and even some women) are happy to accept that double standard because it makes their misbehavior ok. I don’t like the way many men pretend to be sturdy oaks and hide many of their emotions in an attempt to look more masculine, or less feminine. [3546]

First and foremost, I am biologically attracted to men. So, the most basic thing I like about them would have to be their physique. Not one body type in particular. I like men just based on the sole criteria of being a man. I also like that men are simplistic when solving problems. I think that is a wonderful contrast to how women pick apart an issue, make it complicated, and in turn, harder to solve. On the opposite spectrum, I dislike how men move on so quickly from one girl to the next. I feel as though men usually do not wait a long time after ending relations with one girl to begin with a new one. It makes their feelings seems inconstant and easily changed. This takes merit away from their words. I also have trouble with how superficial men are, whether they know it or not. I do not feel like a man will date a girl unless he is attracted to her physically first, and mentally second. 4108

What I like most about the opposite sex is that, in general, men are very straight forward. If you ask them a question, you will receive an honest answer. With girls, there might be a hidden meaning behind their answer, or they might not say exactly what is on their minds. For example, if I ask a man “How was your day today?” He may say honestly “It was good.” However, if I were to ask a woman the same question, and received the same answer, she might have actually had a bad day. Another example of this is if a man has an issue with you or any other person, they will honestly tell you that they have a problem with you. I like this aspect of men very much so because women tend to play games. There are no games, and no drama with men. They are straightforward. Having said that, I dislike the fact that men tend to think more with their hormones than with logic. This tendency to think with their “other head” bothers me because I would like to not be solely valued for my appearance. This also tends to make men more impulsive when it comes to women, which is bothersome to me as well. 2106

2. I like that they tend to be more laid-back in the sense that they don’t make a big deal out of the little things. For instance, if I’m late, they won’t be passive aggressive and throw a fit. I also like that they have a protective nature which is comforting. Also, I often like that they don’t necessarily have a filter which often makes conversations much more interesting. I don’t like that they can be very stubborn and stuck in their ways to the point that they won’t ask for or accept any help. I also don’t like that along with being protective, many men are jealous (6819)

I like that generally men tend to be less complicated than women in terms of not picking fights at things unnecessarily, or being as catty or passive aggressive as women can be. I also appreciate their protective nature, and the fact that, as a tall woman, men are generally taller and larger than I am. I dislike how shallow a large population of men can be in terms of women, and that men use violence as a way of expressing their manhood. (7071)

I like that men are protective, they say and do funny things, they are daring and take charge. Guys also are not as caddy as girls, they get over things much easier, and don't hold a grudge. I do not like when men can be shallow, when they are afraid of commitment, when words do not match their actions, and when they play too many video games! It is also much more difficult to know how a guy feels about a situation because they are much more closed off with their emotions. (5688)

I like how the opposite sex is protective when necessary, they’re practical, and physically strong. I dislike the fact that they always tell you what you want to hear and expect something in return. Also, they never want to commit to just one woman and expect women to just be okay with having one night stands. Another dislike it that they are very prideful and can never ask for anything or admit when they are wrong.(3593)

I do not like men when they are sick. There is a general understanding in the class that men are strong, but I think women are stronger. I think women can take more stress and go through harder things in general, yet men get the title “strong.” It only takes a little cold for many men to lie on their back like a turtle: totally helpless. I do like, however, how straight men are in everyday life. Maybe not in an intimate relationship, but as friends men are very easy and uncomplicated to be with. In a group of men there is no intrigue hidden somewhere to watch out for.-0655

Things I like about the opposite sex include a variety things. First and foremost, something I appreciate in the opposite sex includes their protective nature; men like to take charge of dangerous situations and it’ highly important that I feel safe and trusting of a man. Men also tend to be very handy, and manage to always know how to fix things (even if you have to ask them several times). Men tend to be low maintenance; they don’t read too much into things and allow the drama level to remain at a minimum (again, most guys). I appreciate the male physique, which is typically built larger than the female frame. Men are more calm and collected in emotional situations and balance me out. Things I don’t like about men is that they can be overbearing, highly jealous, and sometimes too laid back and not proactive enough. Men also have a difficult time making commitments to things. Men can also be less emotionally and mentally mature than females, which makes it very difficult to find someone on the same level as oneself. (5981)

2). Although generalizations, I like that men seem to have a more direct form of communication than women, that they are bigger and more protective in nature, and that they are usually not as dramatic as many women can be. I dislike that men seem to not be as perceptive, either in interpreting body language or catching subtle hints. I also don’t like that men seem to have higher levels of aggression and are more likely to resort to violence when angry or frustrated (5412).

#2 I like that they try to take care of the people they are close to. They have a sense of drive and determination in their careers. They are protective, but this can lead to possessiveness. Men can completely miss emotional cues when having a conversation. They just seem to be clueless when talking about feelings. (0614)

I do appreciate the simplistic view that the opposite sex tends to take on life. However, I do not like how that simplistic view can turn into lack of passion and insensitivity. 7080

In general I like that men don’t complicate things as much as woman; if I ask my female friend a question she give me a handful of different outcomes or choices, and it leaves me more perplexed than before. If I ask a man a question, he will be much more straight forward and practical, helping me far more. I also like how they can be more protective than woman; woman, although they will sometimes stand up for a friend, they can be extremely mean to each other and it depends little on how well they know you and more on the situation. Men, however, seem to be more loyal regardless of the situation; if you are someone they care about, they will protect you regardless of situation. I also like how men are more honest in their actions – they don’t try to hide things from you or trick you. One thing I don’t like about men is that they can often forget that there are consequences for their actions, and only think about the short term (and how those consequences effect other people). I also don’t like how they take many things more casually than woman, which although is often a good thing, can be disastrous in a relationship if something means a lot to the woman and the man blows it off. (8148)

I like men who are confident and assertive (not cocky)- these traits seem more apparent in men than in women generally due to gender roles I suppose. I like that men seem to be less serious than women and can joke around more and not feel guilty/stupid for it- certain immaturity is admired because I like to be silly and act immature sometimes! This can vary, but I love how a man smells, and the deeper sound of their voice/laugh. I like how their more muscular/tall physique (although I’m not a fan of body builders!). Even though I said immaturity can sometimes be good for laughs and in not taking life too seriously- at the same time, I can’t stand when men are TOO immature and in an inappropriate manner. I also don’t like how men hide or mask their emotions much more than women because it of course makes them so hard to read- culture teaches men to express less emotion so even though I dislike it, they can’t really be totally blamed for it. (3129).

I like many things about men in general. I like how men are more assertive than women, they often ask less questions and figure things out on their own. I like the sense of comfort that comes with male confidence. I like the way men are straighter forward that women and their old fashioned way of treating women (for the nice ones). While I do think gender roles are limiting, I like many of the characteristics that males get assigned to, almost more than females. Men get to be strong, and can make decisions and take on leadership roles without being given a harsh label as a woman would. Some things I don’t like about men are the way in which they seem to care about themselves only. I feel in making decisions women think about everyone whereas men think of themselves. I think men think in the short-term, what work the most efficiently for themselves, not their surroundings. Men seem to do what is convenient for them, while I do not like this trait, I do think it can sometime be beneficial.(8611)

I love that men are protective over the people they care about, but they also embrace a carefree attitude at the same time. They aren’t dramatic, they don’t gossip like females do, and its nice that they keep the detailed things that happen in a relationship/conflict private. What I dislike about males is the fact that often times they assume that the female should cater to them. These days in the dating world it seems that females have to take on the role of the male and making the move and it should never be like that. 4747

What I like most about the opposite sex is that when they are a whole they tend to not ‘sweat the small stuff’ and they don’t overlook every situation multiple times as a girl would tend to do. They also generally aren’t as concerned with the appearance that they are giving off towards others as opposed to girls who are consumed with clothes and accessories etc. What I dislike about males is that they talk about females as though they are a priced possession and that if they are able to get into their pants than they have succeeded in demoralizing them while making themselves a ‘grander person’ with no emotion involved. (5834)

The things that I like about the opposite sex are (generally) the company they provide, interacting with someone who thinks and acts differently then most females, different physical features, different roles in society, etc. I admire the vast contrasts from females that males comprise of. The things that I dislike, however, are (again, generally) the less sensitive manner of their brains, complexity of trying to figure out their thoughts/intentions, lack of knowledge about the female brain and how it works, etc. After reading "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain" by Louann Brizendine, the sharp contrasts of how the sexes differ, specifically seen through the stages of development, my understandings of how females and males think and act differently based on inherited instincts. (8521)

In general, I like that men are easy going and laid back. They do not let petty drama upset them and often provide a simple perspective to situations. I like that they are physically attractive to me in terms of their physique. I also like that they are less critical and judgmental of others, which gives them the chance to get to know people quickly on a personal level. I do not like that men cannot seem to multi-task and process information from various senses at once. For example, when the TV is on in the room, many men have a very hard time listening to somebody speaking to them while simultaneously watching the TV. I dislike that many men are very aggressive, both physically and verbally, and that, in general, they are not very hygienic. Finally, I dislike the fact that men are not as emotional and cannot relate on an emotional level with women. They often feel that we are too sensitive and dramatic, when in fact we are often just looking for some understanding and emotional support. (1749)

#2. I appreciate the protective nature guys possess. In sketchy situations, they are willing to place themselves in danger for you despite your relationship with the guy- family member, friend, boyfriend, and or stranger. They are willing to “sacrifice” themselves for you in a sense. I also like their handiness and ability/willingness to try to physically fix things- for example, build a desk, fix a flat tire, figure out what’s wrong with a broken computer, etc. I dislike their inability to express how they feel or talk about their feelings. I feel like girls have to pry that information out of them rather than having them tell us willingly. (8397)

I really like the easy-going, laid-back style of a guy. It’s interesting because I don’t really just like that component of guys, but I want to encompass that for myself as well. I like their lighter sense of humor and how not everything has to be analyzed or given a second (or third) thought. What I dislike most about guys would be their inability to be secure with one woman. I know it’s a biological factor, but many guys seem to need the approval and attention of multiple women, even if they have a significant other. (6787)

In general, I like the simplicity of men. I don’t mean that they are less intelligent than women. I just mean that they are more easily satisfied and less likely to hold grudges for a prolonged period of time. I like the masculinity of men: deep voice, larger stature, and strength. I like the fact that men are protective of women and that they feel the need to make sure there is nothing harmful in the way. I like that they don’t have as much drama as girls do. They don’t read into every little thing that someone says to them. What I don’t like about men is that they sometimes take the “protector” role too seriously and get aggressive to prove how manly they are. I also don’t like that they are hard to read. They don’t make their emotions very clear, and this makes it difficult to know what they are thinking or how they feel. (2060)

What I like about the men is that they seem to always have that strong “bromance” and keep their friendships strong. Of course, they probably do have brawls now and then but they always seem to have each other’s back. I’m not so sure of them here (since it seems environment can have impact of men’s behaviors), but what I’ve seen thus far of men in general is that they always stick with their guys and keep they’re loyalty lines together within their “bros.” And even outside of their group, they tend to always be cool with other guys even when they first meet. However, when all these guys get together they tend to be superficial and aggressive towards females. When it comes to girls, I dislike that men are generally get aggressive and say whatever they please. (8616)

In general, there are several things that I like about men. For starters, as was stated in class several times, I do like the male physique. On a more serious note, I like how men handle conflict…sometimes. Typically, men pick their battles and tend not to harp over trivial matters. However, when conflicts do arise between men, usually they address the issue directly with the person(s) they are having a problem with, handle it, and move on. There is no harbored resentment (usually) or continued drama. I wish more women handled situations in this manner. Secondly, I like how men can be both adventurous and laid back. I like being able to enjoy the outdoors and more physically strenuous activities when I am in the presence of men. But, I also enjoy how men can sit and relax, playing videogames or watching TV. I have found that with some of my female friends, they need to be doing something or going somewhere to be having fun, instead of just enjoying the company of those around them. (0941)

What I like most about men is their protective nature. Many men want to not only provide financially, but also emotionally. They seem to have a strong need and desire to protect the women in their lives in any way they know how. What I dislike most about men is their lack of analyzing on a day-to-day basis. Men don’t seem to think as deeply about situations or instances or ask as many questions about those situations or instances like women do and that drives me insane because those same men that don’t analyze as much are also the ones that get upset with the amount of analyzing that comes from women. (2451)

#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?

3. I’ve had trouble having men understand my desire for platonic friendship, or my belief that platonic friendship between men and women is indeed possible. In many of my friendships with men, either they have developed feelings towards me or other men have accused them of it, whether or not it is true. It seems as though the expectation for them to develop feelings (because they’re under the impression that platonic friendships inevtivably fail) causes them to develop them, rather than it happening naturally. Apart from my own friendships or encounters with men, I’ve heard from other sources that women who want platonic friendships are either fooling themselves or selfishly use those male friends as a source to boost of self-esteem. I’m sure these things happen, but I know that male and female friendships are possible; as do many of my girlfriends, but men don’t seem to grasp that concept very well. [3546]

Yes, some girls are clingy. I feel like what men do not understand is how small of a percentage this is. This might be a recent evolutionary trait, but girls no longer are as quickly attached as men perceive them to be. I have found that men think that when a girls pays him attention too often than she wants to marry him. Not true. 4108

Not every girl is expecting a huge commitment out of interactions with a man, and we can be okay with friendships and casual relationships as much as a guy can. Not every girl is always looking for the man she is going to marry. (7071)

The opposite sex misunderstands the fact that they think we have the same mentality as them, which creates conflict.(3593) 3. They don’t seem to understand that we are not just like them. Our reactions and emotions aren’t always going to line up with theirs. They may be okay if we’re late but that doesn’t mean it’s okay if they’re late. They don’t have to react the same as we do, but they need to be understanding if we cry. (6819) I think that guys misunderstand that girls always want a commitment. Even if it's a hookup or just casually hanging out, guys automatically assume that girls want commitment, even though the subject has not been talked about. (5688)

Not every girl is expecting a huge commitment out of interactions with a man, and we can be okay with friendships and casual relationships as much as a guy can. Not every girl is always looking for the man she is going to marry. (7071)

1. PMS. A male doctor must have invented it. There is no research supporting the notion that all women, once a month become like a banshee, screaming for no reason, crying and chugging down three months’ worth of chocolate. Yes there are some women that do have problems in their cycle and there are some that crave chocolate a couple of days before their period. That does not mean all women have it or that it makes it ok to use it against women in a fight. It is like the secret weapon men have against women. What can you possible answer to: you are just PMSing? The problem is usually something wrong that the man has done to get her angry and tries to blame it on the mythical PMS. -0655

3). I think a vast majority of males misunderstand how terrible PMS really is. Mood swings, cramps, body aches…there is nothing fun about PMS. A girl’s hormones go crazy sometimes and she literally cannot help if she is moody. Hormones are biological and cannot be consciously controlled. All she can do is suppress an emotion, which in the end will just make her feel worse and even less fun to be around. I don’t think men understand that PMS is a valid excuse for being in a bad mood (5412).

#3 Men don’t understand that women want to be taken care of but not contained. Just as they desire freedom we do too. Women don’t want to be suppressed rather they want to be supported. (0614)

Men don’t understand why women are so emotional. They often don’t recognize small emotional cues in speech or facial movements that women are much more prone to seeing. They cannot comprehend why we dwell on problems, such as issues with friends or plans for the future. Women are more prone to worry and think of every possible outcome of a situation before they act. Men are more prone to action before thinking about the consequences. Men view women’s emotional responses as weakness, and thus to act in an opposite way in order to feel strong. (3341)

3. I think that guys misunderstand a woman's need to deliberate over a decision before it is made. While it seems that men make a decision rather quickly and stick to it, women like to mull it over and think of many possible scenarios regarding that decision. Guys seem to think it excessive and indecisive, and while I believe there is something positive to be said about following your instincts right off the bat and sticking to them, I also think there is importance in deliberating over a decision. While there are exceptions to every case, often times we are just being thorough and because we know what we like, we want to make sure our decision truly best fits our desires. (6791) Women are not that complicated. Men always use the excuse that they don’t understand women, but really men just need to understand that women like nice, caring, partners who are willing to be there for them no matter what. I feel like men don’t understand women just want someone to care for them. (0419)

We do not expect you to be mind readers; we just expect you to be sensitive to our feelings and show some compassion when we are hurt. 7080

I think one thing that men misunderstand is that woman, although very similar to men, do not react the same to the friendly teasing that often takes place between men. If men can insult each other and laugh about it, that is great and it helps their friendship and makes them feel comfortable, but it’s not always a great thing to insult woman and expect them to take it as a good thing that they are so comfortable. I think a lot of men might assume if a woman doesn’t respond to their insult it makes its an okay-friendly-teasing situation, but I think they might overlook the inward direction the insult takes, and that it can actually be quite damaging to self esteem even if the woman does not react outwardly. For example, every time one of my guy friends makes a joke at my expense, I’ll try to shrug it off around them in order to protect myself from further ridicule, but inwardly I will really feel the weight of what they said. (8148)

Men can definitely misunderstand a woman's friendliness (or lack of) and/or body language. They can take a small friendly gesture like a smile- and mistake it for "I am interested in you" or even "I want to have sex with you". A lot of women know about this misinterpreting- so, when we're hesitant to talk or dance with a guy at a bar/club/party for example- men also can misinterpret this cautiousness as a woman who is "stuck up" or "bitchy"- when sometimes we're just trying not to send wrong signals of false interest in dating you,etc- or worse, get your hopes up for something that we're not going to be giving! Even things like a nod saying hello or friendly small talk in a casual setting (work, coffee shop, etc), can trigger men to believe we're hinting to them that we want their further attention. But sometimes, we just like to be nice, social beings. In turn, when we act resistant to casual chat, etc. because we may fear our niceness being taken the wrong way- men assume we're being bitchy or rude. Of course, not all men are like this- but a lot are! (3129).

I think the one thing men misunderstand the most about women is what we want from them. I think all men have the view that a girl wants to be in a serious relationship, be clingy, committed, or together all the time. There is no way this can be true, no all males or females can think the exact same way, we are all individuals. This misunderstanding bothers me so much because it holds a double standard. Often times a man is turned off, or does not want to date a girl if he thinks she wants to be in a serious relationship. But on the other hand if the girl wants just a casual or sexual relationship like a man, she is viewed as promiscuous. (8611)

The one thing that men most misunderstand about women is that we are not all alike. This is going along the same lines of my response to the question from number one, but I feel that it appropriately covers all of men’s misunderstandings about women. Not all women are promiscuous, not all women are dramatic, not all women are clingy, not all women are sensitive, not all women love chick flicks, not all women are caddy, not all women are obsessed with shopping, etc. 2106

One things males misunderstand is the fact that after hooking up once or a few times, women automatically want a serious commitment and back away. Females don’t want to rush into relationships quickly either. 4747

I think males tend to generalize females often, they think that from the stereotypical romantic movie that we are all searching to settle down and be these protective wives but in fact many of the gender roles which are going to be seen or not seen are based around the types of females that they surround themselves with. (5834)

Men most misunderstand women’s emotional responses. Since many men do not become as emotional as women do, they often do not understand the foundation or reason for women’s responses to situations. They often label these responses as overly emotional and irrational, when in fact, if they were more in tune with their own emotions and emotional responses, they may be able to recognize the reasons for these responses. (1749)

#3. I don’t think guys understand how emotionally and physically draining it is to be on your period and to be PMSing during that certain time of EVERY month. Physically you just feel unattractive- your bloated, cramps feel like knives stabbing you in the lower abdomen, and you basically just feel like a mess. Emotionally we really can’t explain how we feel nor why we feel a certain way, which is just as frustrating to us as to the other person we may have gotten angry or upset at. (8397)

I believe that the one major thing that men most understand about women is that all women are NOT the same. Not every woman is emotional, communicative, or sensitive. If you think of the “universal” qualities that people perceive women to posses there is undoubtedly a continuum that women fall on. There are always going to be women at the extremes, but I believe that problems arise between women and men when men make assumptions about women based on stereotypical views. A lot of these issues could be avoided if people entered relationships (romantic or platonic) without judging people based on their gender. (0941)

I think that males most misunderstand how females think and analyze things as well as our motives for actions. Through personal experiences, I have seen the sharp contrasts between how I think as a female and how my boyfriend thinks as a male. Also, reading about how a male generally tuning out white noise in Brizendine's book has made me consciously notice that males are generally more likely to not hear something females can. In addition, I think the opposite sex also misunderstands how much effort it takes to be a female in contemporary society. (8521)

Many guys assume all women are the same: jealous, insecure, and clingy. With that assumption, they treat women the same, which can irritate the ladies that are different: confident, self-assured, and independent. It’s also disappointing that most men think all women are overly sensitive and lack the ability to joke around about things that may be vulgar or perverted. Sometimes, the girls can be just like the guys! (6787)

What men most misunderstand about women is that we are really not that difficult to please. Men seem to think that women are constantly changing their minds and that they are unable to be pleased. They don’t realize that all we want is to be reminded of how much we are appreciated and how special we are. This doesn’t mean spending large amounts of money on us. It means doing thoughtful things for us. (2060)

Men misunderstand that women are really not as attached as they think they are. Men have the tendency to assume that every single girl will be attracted to him, and believe that every one of them will be attached to them after a night out or just having a few conversations. When really, women have just as much likes and dislikes as men. Women do not fall for men as easily, just as they wouldn't for women, which men seems to misunderstand. (8616)

I think men misunderstand what they call “mood swings.” They don’t seem to realize that hormones are not something that woman can control. Hormones change our emotions in a way that we don’t understand either, but we don’t blame ourselves like men seem to blame “women.” I think men believe we are in control of these “mood swings” and purposely take everything out on men and are ok with it, when in fact, for me at least, I am aware that these changes in my mood are occurring and do my best with them, but am not ok with how much they change my mood and me in general. I hate my “mood swings” as much as men do and I am tired of getting blamed for physiological occurrences that are out of my control. (2451)

#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?

4. I was attracted by the sarcastic sense of humor and playful, lighthearted nature of the person. I liked that this person had ambitions and passions, and was actively working towards making those things happen-success is attractive. From the beginning, the physical appearance allowed for the initial attraction, but what KEPT me attracted were the personality and the confidence. (7071)

4. The last major crush I had on someone was a result of many different factors of his appearance and his character. He was very tall (my absolute favorite thing about men), athletically fit and had a handsome face. He was a very confident, charming, business oriented guy with a huge social life. He was well advanced for his age, as far as career and business-intelligence go. Though he exuded a sense of arrogance and dominance with most people in his life, he was not that way with me. He was considerate and thoughtful when he was with me. [3546]

I was attracted by the sarcastic sense of humor and playful, lighthearted nature of the person. I liked that this person had ambitions and passions, and was actively working towards making those things happen-success is attractive. From the beginning, the physical appearance allowed for the initial attraction, but what KEPT me attracted were the personality and the confidence.

Characteristics that typically attract me to people include (but are not limited to): physical appearance, physique, humor, personality, values. Like most people, I do notice a person’s physical appearance and physique. There is a particular body type I like, but I don’t use that as a deciding factor on which I am ultimately attracted to. I am able to distinguish between finding people attractive and being attracted to them. Humor is another important characteristic to me. I find myself drawn to people that can make me laugh and put a smile on my face. Who doesn’t like that? More importantly, I find it even more attractive when people can not only dish out but can take jokes as well. If a person can’t handle people joking with them or take themselves to seriously, I probably won’t be attracted to that person. Personality is another important factor in who I am attracted to. Certain types or aspects of people’s personalities fit better with mine. This may be a common criteria for most people, but for me values is just as important. If somebody is physical attractive, has a sense of humor, and a great personality but their values are polar to my own that can typically lead to me finding that person less attractive in the long run. (0941)

One day I met a man named Rodeo. I was immediately attracted to him because he had a look in his eyes that suggested he had a lot of life. His positive personality was radiating through his eyes and it caught me off guard and I was immediately attracted. On top of that, in the first ten minutes we met, we ended up talking about literature and psychology. Two things we had equal passion for. So, our quick connection of likes was also very attractive to me. Only after all this did I recognize that he was also physically attractive. 4108

Initially, I am attracted to a man’s physical appearance. It is the first thing that we as women see, and it is the first impression that we have of a man. I am usually most attracted to a man’s eyes, smile, and physique upon a first sighting, but I am also attracted to the aura that they exude as well. I am very attracted to men who exude confidence and happiness in their mannerisms, posture, and facial expressions. When I get to know a man, I tend to be most attracted to personality traits such as sarcasm, intelligence, and compassion, along with the happiness and confidence that they exude. With me, there really is not one particular factor that makes me attracted to the men I have been previously attracted to. I am attracted to the package deal. 2106

4. His ability to laugh and to make me laugh were what first attracted me. I liked that he didn’t take things too seriously so his mood was always positive even if it was a bad day. He always knew what to say to put a smile on my face. I think his physical appearance was what initially attracted me but the way that he looked at life was refreshing. I also liked that he was straight forward about how he felt about me and didn’t try to play games. (6819)

I was attracted by the sarcastic sense of humor and playful, lighthearted nature of the person. I liked that this person had ambitions and passions, and was actively working towards making those things happen-success is attractive. From the beginning, the physical appearance allowed for the initial attraction, but what KEPT me attracted were the personality and the confidence. (7071)

I think what first attracts me to a guy is his facial expression and appearance. A smile is always a good start and a cute face. Also, I think personality is just as important as physical appearance. A guy can always get cuter based on their personality. A friendly, outgoing, truthful, and funny guy is always a winner! (5688)

The first thing that attracts me to a man are their eyes. After that, personality is the main and most important thing to me. I am very attracted to a person who is funny and can be light hearted, and can hold a good conversation with me. I am very attracted to a man who can dance.(3593)

1. I think it was his warm smile and confidence. He was acting very warmly towards me which flattered me as we have known each other long but not seen each other for a long time. I had started doubting that he still had warm feelings towards me but he did. He was very interested and stood close to me. He smiled a lot and he has a beautiful smile. I was also very attracted to him because he had grown up to be a very good looking guy. I think his warm demeanor and the closeness were the most important factors.-0655

The characteristics that attracted me to my latest love conquest were his good hygiene and his way of carrying himself. That is, one of the things that easily disqualify a man in my books is if he smells bad, looks bad, or is just plain nasty. So for a man to be clean, have fresh breath, and not have musty underarms is a must to me. Also, when a man has self-confidence, it demonstrates to me that this man is sure of himself and about where he is going in life. It makes me think that this man is a man with a plan and that he wouldn’t be the type to waste my precious time with BS. (5696)

1. I find that I am most immediately attracted to a man that is physically attractive, but also confident. His appearance is put together. He takes care of his physical body and he clearly thought about his attire. His speech is grammatically correct. Confidence in the initial approach of a man is huge, however overconfidence and forcefulness can work against a man if he is not physically put together. An initial attraction is largely based on physical appearance. 9057

4). At first sight, I am highly attracted to a guy with a charming smile. I am usually attracted to men that are taller than me, genuine, confident but not arrogant, and motivated. The most important factor is personality; if a guy is disrespectful, pompous, or obnoxious, I don’t care if he’s the most gorgeous guy in the world/ I want nothing to do with him (5412).

I was very attracted to my boyfriend when I first met him because he was very quiet. He did not strive for the center of attention, and for this reason, he always managed to grab mine. 7080

I think a huge part of my attraction to someone was personality. I find myself liking people who are generally nice, smart, modest, quieter in how they interact with people (meaning you will see them nicely talking to people, not yelling and or being excessively loud). I also notice how they carry themselves – I think people who are more casual with how they carry themselves (not over confident but not timid) are more attractive. Physical attractiveness usually doesn’t occur to me until I get to know someone better. I can think someone is completely unattractive, but then if I get to know them and they are extremely nice, they will somehow become much more attractive to me. I don’t really consider social status although I tend to be more attracted to people who do not hangout around large groups of people – I do notice if someone has a smaller closer group of friends rather than a whole bunch of people they sort of know. (8148)

Typically, I am most instantly attracted to a guy by physical appearance, confidence, and how they carry themselves- "swagger" we call it.- These all can trigger instant attraction. However, how a man carries himself can make or break an instant attraction because even if he is physically good looking- if he has no swag, that will significantly lower his attractiveness! Additionally, if my attraction to a certain guy is not instantaneous- usually the factor that draws me to them later is personality, talent and passion/determination. Talent and passion are extremely attractive - I have a thing for musicians but these traits can include anything, really- the key is a man who has the ability of being outstanding at their craft/specialty and the determination for it. A particular guy that I was attracted to last year was not someone who I would have typically considered physically attractive (initially), but I was later drawn to his talent as a musician, passion, creativity, and the fact that he liked and noticed me first. I'd also like to add, social status or background doesn't really change my liking for a guy. There are so many men (and women!) who have started at the bottom and became so successful- so I look at goals and effort as better indicators of attractiveness than social status. I'm also attracted to a guy who can really dance- although it's still cute if they can't and will try just to make you laugh. (3129).

The most important factor that attracts me to a guy is their intelligence. On a first impression I am usually interested in a guy if I like his style, not particular physical appearance but definitely the way they look and dress somewhat. I think another important factor is the way the guy treats me, if he laughs at my jokes and compliments me a lot or not. Personality obviously matters to me, if ours are similar, or different, but at the end it is a males intellect, or wealth of certain information that is most important to whether I am attracted to someone or not. (8611)

To me, what is attractive in the opposite sex is someone who I have an attraction to looks wise, especially teeth! A good body and clothing are important to me as well. Also they need to have a great sense of humor, they need to be confident but not cocky and have drive and ambition. Most importantly he needs to be able to hold conversation because I have been around some pretty gorgeous guys, but speaking to them is like watching paint dry.4747

The characteristics that really attracted me to that person was that they weren’t really attracted to me, the fact that they laid back and let me come to them and make the effort was what made me want it more and when I did make the effort they were gentleman like the entire time and really made an effort to get to know me for me. They were very physically appealing and I knew that all the girls in the room were thinking the same thing, his personality was funny yet reserved, I think he contained self confidence but had no intention of flaunting it, and the thing that really made me attracted was that he wasn’t trying to be sexual with me he just really wanted to have a good girl friend that he could talk to. (5834)

Initially, when I find myself attracted to the opposite sex, it is based off of physical appearance. Certain characteristics appeal to me, such as having a physical fit appearance, and structured facial features. Before meeting someone, I think social status and wealth are attributes that are desirable and attractive to me personally. Going beyond initial reactions and physical appearance, friendliness and respectfulness are admirable. Having a positive vibe when meeting someone generally correlates with friendly gestures and optimistic personality traits, which draws females into the opposite sex and attracting her to his overall being. Overall, the most influential characteristics that attracted me to a particular male is their physical appearance, which determines if I approach a male or not thus being the most important factor in female-male attraction. (8521)

From a purely physical stand point (without actually knowing the man) I have found myself attracted to men with an athletic build and a cute face. However, when it comes to men that I would actually be interested in dating and having a relationship with, I am most attracted to a man that is physically attractive in those same ways, shows genuine interest in me, engages me in intellectual and meaningful conversation, is self-confident but not overbearing and the center of attention, and is viewed highly by those around him. I am attracted to men who make smart and healthy decisions and hold their close relationships in high value. (1749)

#4. This guy I am attracted to is very personable- he shows confidence, he’s social, has a nice smile, not the most attractive guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on but cute, and he’s not afraid to be himself. I think the fact that he is so easy to talk to once I got to know him more, and the fact that he’s not afraid to be himself is what attracts me to him the most. Incredible good looks aren’t everything- someone who is easy going (personality traits) and who I’m physically attractive (physical appearance) to is a good balance of what I am attracted to. (8397)

A big turn-on is swag. The ability to claim attention without being conceited, irritating, boastful, or obnoxious. An easy-going attitude with a great smile and a bit of a sarcastic humor. The most important factor would be the physical attraction for the initial introduction. Afterwards, it’s the confidence level and how easy it is to talk the person. If I feel at ease, then it’s a big turn-on. Social skills are important and usually I’ll be attracted to a guy that has a lot of friends, but isn’t a jerk because of that. (6787)

I am attracted to a man initially by his physical appearance. I like a man who appears to be put together and clean. Next to that, I notice his smile and how he interacts with other people. I like to see that he laughs a lot and is generally outgoing. I don’t like when a man dominates the conversation though. It is attractive when a man is aware of his surroundings and is considerate of others. (2060)

What attractive about a guy is his sarcastic humor. Its great conversation if they are just as sarcastic as you are and goes along with. I like men who know how to be goofy and give you a good laugh. I’m sure that physical appearance plays a huge part in initial attraction, but I personally am swept away when they have a great sarcastic humor. (8616)

I actually just recently met someone that I had a kind of “out of this world” strong initial attraction to that’s only grown since I’ve gotten to know him better; so, this question has been on my mind quite often in the last couple of months. What attracted me so strongly in the beginning and what is it about him now that keeps that attraction growing? Initially it was absolutely his looks. I had noticed him before we started a conversation and I was physically very drawn to him. Once we sparked up a conversation my attraction immediately grew in part because of his self-confidence, but a bigger part because of his nature. He has this strong, manly, calmness about him that when thinking about it would normally seem to be an oxymoronic statement, because strong and calm are somewhat opposites, but it works for him. He doesn’t let his manliness get in the way of his sensitive side like many men do; and I think his ability to coincide those two fantastic traits makes for an undeniably sexy mix. But the most important factor that attracted me to him and has kept me attracted is his ability to make me feel like I’m the most important person in the room. When he talks to me his focus is completely on me and he listens attentively and genuinely seems interested in what I’m saying, doing, and thinking. He never fails to make me feel special. (2451)

#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

5. Strengths of the opposite sex are confidence, lack of catty drama, sense of humor, and a protective nature. Some of the weaknesses are stubbornness, aggression, and not being good listeners.

5. The weakness of the opposite sex is their preconceived notion that they must be hyper-masculine, dominant and highly sexually skilled in order to be real men. I think many men put too much pressure on themselves to achieve these inhuman things and suffer from low self-esteem and disappointment when they realize they can’t. Though it’s nice to be those things, in moderation, it is a little farfetched to impose those expectations on men. Some of the strengths of the opposite sex is the physical strength their bodies are capable of and the way they’re taken more seriously, in society, as men. [3546]

At first glance, many of the opposite sex’s strengths and weaknesses are synonymous with common likes and dislikes. In my opinion, a major strength of most men is their ability to handle conflict. A situation (although sometimes dealt with in a violent manner) is typically dealt with directly and then the air is cleared. Usually guys don’t harbor resentment while smiling in other guy’s faces. I think this is a strength because it reduces the opportunity for unnecessary, caddy conflicts to continue over an extended period of time. (0941)

On the other hand, I find that a major weakness of the opposite sex is that they tend to be less emotionally sensitive with others and with themselves. Although I am not an overly emotional person myself, I know that there are times were being able to sufficiently express emotions and empathize with others is crucial. I have found that many man do not work at dealing with emotionally sensitive situations. I do not believe that men are incapable of doing such, I believe that society has taught them that they are not supposed to have emotions (except anger). Consequently, I feel that men need to work harder at taking the time to sit and think about what they are feeling and how to express themselves so that their relationships with others and even with themselves can be strengthened.

A major strength about being a man is their ability to change emotions very quickly. They can be mad, sad, or any other negative emotion and be able to drop it. Positivity seems to come quicker to men when they are in a negative mood, as opposed to women. A weakness of being a man would be the biological urge for sex all the time. Their natural urgency for fornication leads them to do idiotic and ignorant things. I think that kind of sex drive would be hard to deal with at times. 4108 A strength I think the opposite sex contains is not letting small things get to them and focusing on the ‘large fish’ to catch for supporting themselves in the future. While on the contrary I think that they live too much ‘in the moment’ they are so focused on getting a girl that night at a party that they may cheat on their girlfriend or they need to do that drug immediately for the fun of it that they don’t think about their consequences and how it might effect others. (5834) Strengths of the opposite sex are confidence, lack of catty drama, sense of humor, and a protective nature. Some of the weaknesses are stubbornness, aggression, and not being good listeners. (7071)

One of the strengths of men is that they are generally able to hide emotions very well. They tend to not get upset as quickly or as often as women. Even if they are upset, they do not show it. This is a strength because they are able to be calm under stressful situations, and be very emotionally strong. A weakness of men is that they are driven by hormones. This causes them to be extremely impulsive, because they are not thinking rationally. Especially under the influence of alcohol, this causes them to make decisions and carry out actions that they later regret. 2106

Some strengths of men are that they are rational, able to decipher between emotions and what is logical, and hold the role of the provider. They are also very persistent when they see something they truly want, they are go getters. Their weaknesses are that they don’t listen, they can be brutally honest, too competitive, and don’t do well with failure or rejection.(3593)

Strengths of guys are that they are masculine, problem solvers, knowledgeable in areas I don't know much about, and they clear up altercations quicker. Weaknesses of men are that they are cocky, poorer communicators, commitment phobic, and fidelity. (5688)

5. One of their strengths is that they tend to be less emotional and often times it’s less petty. I also like the feeling of comfort, physically and emotionally, that guys can give. Unfortunately, at the same time, a weakness is their inability, or refusal, to show and explain their emotions. Maybe they show their emotions, but it’s not specific and they’re hardly willing to explain what is on their mind. (6819) Strengths of the opposite sex include the ability to keep it cool; they tend to have the ability to hide when things bother them (though this may be considered a weakness in certain situations if it hinders their ability to accomplish what they want). Men are also physically stronger, which gives them the upper hand in certain situations. Weaknesses include an inability to communicate effectively. While men may know what they need or want, they don’t necessarily always know HOW to get what they want. Men have trouble verbally communicating in a direct, precise manner that conveys exactly what they’re looking for. (5981)

1. The strengths of men are that they are physically strong, not as sensitive as females are, they get over emotional distress or social altercations fairly easily, and they are very handy with cars, plumbing, etc… The weaknesses that men have seem to be the exact same characteristics as their strengths are but to a different degree. When a man is not sensitive as a woman is, it seems nearly impossible to speak to the guy and communicate your feelings to him. A man can be so inconsiderate and such a jerk. When a man gets over emotional distress or social altercations with their buddies so easily, it sets them up to be the victim of fake friendships.(5696)

1. I think men are weaker mentally than women so that would be their weakness. Their strength would be their confidence. Most men seem to have a build in confidence better than most women. Their protective traits are also a strength.-0655

1. A strength of men is there ability and desire to fix things. Men have this innate desire to fix something if it is broken. Rather than pay someone else to fix it, men would like to figure out the ins and outs of the object and learn how to work it so they can fix it. One weakness of men is their inability to plan ahead. Although men often know they need something, lotion or dish soap perhaps, men will run out before going to buy some more. Compare this to women who tend to notice when products are running low and while at the store will buy more so there is never a time when there is an absence of that product. 9057

5). Male strengths include: having a knack for building and fixing things (cars, appliances, sheds, you name it), being stronger than women, not having the tendency to over-think things as much as females do. Male weaknesses include: not expressing their emotions as often or clearly as females, having a higher tendency to resort to violence when frustrated or angry, and not being as perceptive to little details as women (5412).

#5 Men are resourceful and straight-forward when they address problems. They rarely beat around the bush when it comes to asking for what they want. They are likely to get the job done quickly and efficiently. Men are protective and wish to take care of loved ones. However, men have anger issues and can be very possessive. They can’t communicate their feelings very well and are not that intuitive. (0614)

The strengths of men are also sometimes their weaknesses. As I mentioned earlier, emotional strength can be a good thing in that it helps to create simple solutions to problems. At the same time, emotional strength means that men are out of touch with themselves and their own emotions. Their seemingly aloof response to stressors can create repressed feelings that may later come out in the form of violence or anger. Men often refuse to seek help from professionals, especially for psychological issues. I have found that when men are more in touch with their feelings, they are less likely to resort to physical acts of violence as a way of dealing with personal issues. As an example, an ex boyfriend of mine had a horrible relationship with his father from a young age. Instead of talking about how much his father hurt him as a way of coping with the abuse, he refused to acknowledge it. He would later get extremely angry over something insignificant but tangible. The anger he was feeling was often rooted in memories from his childhood that had been kept inside and needed a way to be expressed. (3341)

The opposite sex tends to hide their emotions, which allows them to avoid vulnerability; I consider this a strength. A weakness of the opposite sex is that they de-value the importance of these emotions. They disregard them as frivolous. 7080

Some strengths of men are that they can be very logical and practical. They tend to know more about what they want and where they are going, and have a good sense of self. Some weaknesses are that men are not always perceptive and aren’t as open, which can make them difficult to get to know. (8148)

Strengths: overall essence of a man- build, physique, scent, protective nature, ambition (when it is good), passion for a woman (when it is genuine), sense of humor; men don't over analyze every single thing like women do; they’re able to get the lid off of a jar in 2 seconds despite the fact that I’ve been trying for an hour; they feel the need to be “fearless” or “invincible”- which works to women’s advantage when there’s a spider in the house. Also- this is funny but very true and worth mentioning- men do make sex (and reproduction) possible and enjoyable! :) Weaknesses: Lower maturity level in many cases can also be a bad thing, unrealistic expectations for women to be 'perfect' or underestimating/overestimating our abilities (physically, intellectually, for a relationship, etc); Sometimes men can mistreat/disrespect women and see nothing wrong with it or not even realize it (major thanks to culture norms and social status); feeling the need to be fearless/invincible creates arrogance, ego, and stubbornness- men can have a really hard time admitting they're wrong/apologizing/asking for help if they need it because of this; they are often emotionally silent/unreadable. (3129).

I think some strength’s are physical abilities such as muscle size and height. I also think that a weakness, whichis lack of showing and appreciating emotions, leads the idea that men are very straightforward and goal oriented which is great for the workplace. I think a weakness is the fact that they hide their emotions most of the time and are not as open about feelings and suggestion as women. I think being stubborn is a weakness because people need to learn to grow. (8611)

Males strengths are that they are determined and strong willed. They are often times the primary source of income for the household which is a strength, but at the same time their weakness lies in not allowing the female in the household to take a primary role in providing. 4747

Some strengths of the opposite sex seem to be their independence. Personally I think that girls are more emotional and dependent on the opposite sex even though we have learned that since there are more males in the world, they depend on females to mate and produce offspring. Males also generally appear to feel less pressured by society and community standards such as beauty. Some weaknesses of the opposite seem to be that they have higher expectations by society such as displaying acts of masculinity. Social pressures applied to men are generally for them to be dominant and may be more susceptible to demonstrate their strengths through violence and acts related to violence such as video games and sports. (8521)

Men’s strengths lie in the fact that they are very easy going and straight forward. They are simple to the effect that they “don’t sweat the small stuff.” I feel that this helps them mentally to overcome issues that women would dwell on much more and experience emotional strife and hardship. They seem to just roll with the punches and take things as they come, solving problems in the easiest, most logical way possible. Men hold weakness in their aggression and extreme sexual desire. This desire and aggression often work together in men to exploit others for their own pleasure or gain. Not all men do so in such an extreme way, however I’m sure many men have taken advantage of a woman at some point in order to satisfy their sexual needs. In addition, their aggression also gets out of hand at times, leading to physical fights with other men. (1749)

#5. Male Strengths: they're physically stronger, they get along quite easily with other guys, they can physically fix things, they’re persistent, and they don’t like to show weakness Male Weaknesses: they have a hard time expressing how they feel, everything is a competition to them, and they don’t listen to girls well/have selective hearing (8397)

The strengths of a man are his charm, physique, humor, and intelligence. Many guys I know seem to be knowledgeable about many different topics, like electronics, cooking, cars, video games, engineering, architecture, sports, etc. The eclectic conversations that go on between two guys can be pretty interesting. With that said, a weakness is definitely their inability to multi-task when communicating. It’s difficult for a man to drive and talk, play video games and talk, cook and talk, pretty much anything and talk. Maybe they just do it to get out of talking, but it can be really irritating when they say they’re listening, but can’t repeat something you just said. (6787)

Men are logical and don’t think with their emotions. They don’t complicate matters by taking things too personally or being too sensitive. They are happy with simple, satisfying things in their lives. They serve as the automatic protectors in most situations. On the other hand, they are sometimes too aggressive. They are unclear about their emotions, and they don’t always care enough to try and understand exactly what a girl is talking about. They can be bad at communicating and listening. (2060)

Strengths of men are that they can be rational and not let petty things bother them. Especially with their “bros,” if they have a problem they seem as though they are very straight forward and say what needs to be said. When that is done and solved, they end their issues right then and there. A weakness, however, is that they can wear them emotions on their sleeves and their straight forward personality can lead to a physical altercation When they are angry, then they’re not afraid to show it and act however they please. In that state, they tend to be inconsiderate and sometimes intimidating to be around. (8616)

The strengths of men are their “fix-it” mentality and the way they go about fixing things. Whether it’s fixing household items or relationship problems, they have the ability to get right to the point and not “beat around the bush.” Their main weakness is their inability to communicate what they’re feeling. This gets in the way of having a healthy relationship if the man is always keeping how and what he’s feeling inside. (2451)

#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

6. I often unknowingly end up being “the other woman,” and unfortunately sometimes am interested in the guy. Not fair to me, or their GIRLFRIEND.

6. There were some instances in middle school and high school that men have treated me in an unfair and inappropriate way. Being touched inappropriately or being called demeaning names for no real reason has happened on numerous occasions throughout grade school. Other than that nothing really comes to mind, apart from being chosen last during baseball, basketball or beer pong games. [3546]

There have been several instances where men have unfairly treated me, but one instance in particular sticks out in my mind. When I was in fifth grade, I was friends with a group of boys in my neighborhood. We would always play basketball together, have races in the street, go swimming, etc. One day, after beating these boys in a game of basketball, the boys decided that they could no longer be friends with me simply because I was a girl and I kept beating them. If I had been a boy and had beat them there would have been no problem and we might have even stayed friends. (0941)

A guy I was seeing once told me that he would date, but he was afraid the perfect ten would come along and then he wouldn’t know what to do with me. It is okay with me that he felt this way. Not everybody can be “the one”. However, I felt like divulging this kind of information to me was wildly unfair. It was on that day that I realized that I was not good enough and myself esteem has not been the same since. 4108

I have been treated unfairly many times, but there is one instance that sticks out the most. I was dating a guy for about a month. We were at a party, and I looked over just in time to see him kissing another girl in the back corner of the room. A mutual friend of ours confronted him at the party, telling him to stop what he’s doing because he was with me. The guy I was dating replied, “Don’t worry about it.” He took the girl home with him, and then texted me later like everything was perfectly fine. Needless to say I ended that. 2106

I often unknowingly end up being “the other woman,” and unfortunately sometimes am interested in the guy. Not fair to me, or their GIRLFRIEND. (7071)

. Yes, I was dating a man who lied to me about who he was and what he has done completely, and when I found out and confronted him about it, he was unable to defend himself and therefore got angry and called me a bitch! (3593)

I causally started seeing a guy who used to be just a friend. After a while of just hanging out, hefacebookmessaged me telling me "where he was at" and that he did not want to jump back into another relationship. I responded saying that I understood and that I did not expect anything just from causally dating and I just enjoyed his company. After thefacebookmessage we never really talked again. He was a few years older and was too immature to talk to me about his feelings in person or over the phone. (5688)

Unfortunately, there have been several situations in which I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I have a tendency to be overly accommodating and forgiving and guys seem to know how to take advantage of that. I have been in several relationships where men have lead me to believe that I am extremely important to them, only to hear a couple months later that they don’t want a commitment. This is after I have poured immense amounts of my time and emotional energy, only for it to be unreciprocated and forgotten. I have been flaked on, had to pay the dinner bill, kept waiting, and literally abandoned (at gas station when the guy I was dating got a flat tire..he assumed I could get a ride, even though we were 30 minutes from where I lived). He didn’t think twice about the fact that I was a woman alone, in an unfamiliar place. (5981)

6). No blatant instances of being treated unfairly by the opposite sex come to mind (5412).

I cannot remember a certain instance, but I know that it has happened a couple of times that some guy has been extremely unfair and being prejudice because of my sex. There are a lot of stereotypes, or things girls generally do that I don’t. Yet I am sometimes treated as a moody spoiled girl because I am a girl.-0655

  1. I asked my manager if I could change from a cashier to bussing tables because their wages and tips are higher. He told me that girls can’t be bussers because they aren’t strong enough to carry the dishes. (6819)

When I was younger, I sought to attend tai-qwan-do classes in which I was the only female attending. However, I soon noticed that the guys in the class seemed to treat me a little bit tougher than they treated each other and that they made so many inappropriate sexually discriminating comments such as “oh, you are not going to be able to that move because of your boobs” or “Don’t worry, I won’t be as tough on you because you are JUST a girl.” It was horrible and I hated the class.(5696)

#6 …honestly, no moments come to mind of a man treating me unfairly just because I’m a woman. (0614)

1. Yes, I can think of many instances where I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I remember one specific instance in middle school during gym time we were playing flag football. I was on a team with all males and during the course of the game, I was rarely given the ball or included in game plans. Granted I did not have an understanding of the game as the guys did, but their behavior towards me forced me to not be active about my position on the team. So as a result, they were treating me as if I was of no use, and I felt as if I was of no use. Throughout the game, I was continuously thinking of when it was going to be over. 9057

My first boyfriend back in high school treated me very unfairly. After 6 month of dating, he became mentally and emotionally abusive, and took advantage of my naivety when it came to relationships. He wanted to control me, and succeeded by isolating me from friends and family through the creation of conflicts. He would often point out flaws and would make me feel like he was the only person who could possibly care about me. Once, he date raped me and tried to tell me it wasn’t rape because he was my boyfriend. I tried many times to get out of the relationship, but he always found a way to trick me into being with him again by playing on my insecurities. Finally, college came as an easy out and I purposely chose a school as far away from his choice as I could in order to escape. The saddest part is, while he was so obsessed with controlling and monitoring everything I did and who I did it with, he was also going behind my back and cheating on me during our entire relationship. I didn’t find out the full scope of his lies until after we broke up. (3341)

6. My brother looks down on female sports as boring. This wasn’t specifically a dig against me because I am not a professional female athlete, but as a woman, I still of course felt like he was speaking about ‘my kind’ when saying female sports are generally less interesting. The way he said it was definitely in a 'women just aren't as good in that way' manner. While I find it difficult to disagree, it still was something that women inherently can’t change and because of the nature of that argument, I felt it unfair. (6791)

I am usually given a lot of pardons at work because of my gender. Although this treatment benefits me, I would consider it unfair to my male co-workers. 7080

The only instances I can come with are people who are surprised at my hobbies who because they are generally things that guys tend to enjoy more than girls, and think that it must mean I'm not very good at them. (8148)

When I was as young as 5 or 6 years old I had my first hints of sexism with low expectations for girls in sports. I played on a co-ed soccer team outside of school- there were like 5 boys and 2 girls. Me and the other girl player hardly ever got passed the ball (so I had to steal it!), were always made goalies rather than put on the field, and in general were made less important members of the team I remember my parents making complaints about it too. Shortly after soccer ended, I remember joining a cheerleading squad. Looking back, this kind of makes me mad and I wish I had just kept playing all of the "boy" sports to prove them wrong and piss them off! (3129).

I have been treated unfairly by men, usually older, who think women should be quiet and dismissive, housewives, and have no goals of their own. I think the people that treated me this way in particular felt it was a girls job to be at home or willing to go alone with their plan and never be the one in charge, and when I expressed that I was going to pursue my own goals and follow them where ever they take me, the relationships ended. (8611)

Some instances in which I have been treated unfairly is when men feel the need to criticize. My appearance, dress, and figure do not need to be a concern all the time. 4747 I was dating this guy for a very long in highschool and we had been having problems because he was making no attempt to see me throughout our long distance relationship freshman year of college then when I went to talk to all of my friends they told me oh don’t worry hes probably doing it for this and this reason but he doesn’t mean it just forgive him. Then when I was finally sick of putting up with his behavior and ended things with him all of those same friends stopped talking to me after he yelled at me in front of everyone and said all these terrible things to me. He had turned everyone against me for the same reasons that everyone had been sympathizing with him for the entire year. (5834)

I have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex when it comes to age difference. My boyfriend is eight years older than I am and thus, he thinks that gives his opinions about things an upper hand when compared to my beliefs. Because he is older and has more experience in life, he thinks, gives him more of a right to degrade my concerns and disagreements I have with him. Also, when it comes to sports he generally thinks that because I am a female and he is a male that he knows more about it than I do, which is generally not the case. The second instance has more of an instance where gender is in between the unfairness treatment. (8521)

There have been instances in which men have whistled at me on the street or called to me as if I were a sexual object. However, I cannot say that a man has blatantly treated me unfairly. I have definitely heard many stories from other women that have, but personally I have not. (1749)

#6. One time a group of us were joking around having dinner, and one of my guy friends called me a bitch. I got up and almost hit him until someone pulled me away. I know we were all joking around, but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Using vulgar language is very inappropriate, degrading, and disrespectful when talking to and about girls. (8397)

I have been treated unfairly by guys, mostly those who hit on me and then say I look like I’m 13 years old because I’m not attracted to them and don’t want to do anything with them. There have been a couple boyfriends that have treated me unfairly but I think that’s all part of the relationship level, not so much a generality. (6787)

I was recently on a trip in Greece, and there was an island calledMount Athoswhere only men were allowed. Many of the men on my trip went to this island, but I couldn’t go just because of my gender. (2060)

My boyfriend back in high school treated me great majority of the time, but there were small instances where he became very jealous. Even when out with my usual group of girlfriends and my best guy friends that I’ve been friends with for a long time (even before being with my boyfriend), he would get mad. I always told him the truth of what I was doing and who I was with, which made him so angry that at one point, he called me some names. He did apologize soon after, but continued throughout our relationship. (8616)

There are no instances I can think of that happened to me specifically because I was a woman. (2451)

#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

7. It has been much easier for me to get in places (bars, clubs, parties, etc.)without paying an arm and a leg because I am a woman. In addition, things like having doors opened, seats given up, etc. I have never been glorified or put very much on a pedestal, but the small things are good, too. (7071)

7. My father has always treated my sisters and I unfairly as a result of our sex, because he still tries to uphold the old-fashioned, patriarchal notions he grew up with in Armenia. We were never given the freedom or the privileges that men in our community are given because women are believed to be a weaker sex. Things such as curfew, attire, and social life were always regulated and limited by our father. He has definitely made some progress in the 21 years we’ve been living in America, but the unfair treatment still surfaces from time to time. [3546]

Although I have had instances of being treated unfairly by men, there have also been many times were I have been treated very well simply because I am a woman. For example, when I went out to a couple bars with one of my friends, guys would often times buy us rounds of drinks. I know for a fact this is because we were women because they weren’t buying any men drinks. (0941)

There are certain things that become available when you are a woman. An example of this is being a woman and walking into a party. Men are extremely accommodating only because I am a woman. Men treat us very well at parties in that we are never without a free drink (even if it is shitty beer) or someone to talk to. 4108

There have been several instances where men have treated me well in social settings. For example, men have let me in to parties and clubs because I am a woman. When I am in these types of social settings, especially when there is alcohol involved, men tend to be very friendly towards me, and women in general. 2106

Some instances where I am treated well by the opposite sex is when they take you out and make you feel special. Being a female has many benefits like men allowing you to go to the front of the line for anything and always having the door held open.4747

It has been much easier for me to get in places (bars, clubs, parties, etc.)without paying an arm and a leg because I am a woman. In addition, things like having doors opened, seats given up, etc. I have never been glorified or put very much on a pedestal, but the small things are good, too.

There have been many instances in which men have opened the door for me just because I am a woman, and have lent me their hand when getting our of the car or going up and down stairs when wearing heels.(3593)

The one long term boyfriend I've had treated me very well. He was cordial, respective, and really cared about me. (5688)

I have been luck enough to date a few decent guys that value the company of a woman and DON’T take it for granted. My last boyfriend was very reciprocative and always went a little above and beyond what I asked of him. Anytime I needed to fix, assemble, or set something up he always took care of it for me. He was extremely patient with me and always waited for me or kept me company when I needed to run errands. If I cooked him dinner, he would make a gourmet three course meal. It is extremely important for a guy to reciprocate or even go the extra mile in order to make a girl feel special. (5981)

One particular instance in which a man treated me very nicely was when a man on a bus that was overflowed with people got up off his seat to give me his seat. I thought it was very seat and my feet greatly appreciated it.(5696)

It would be when I went to Poland. Men kissed my hand, opened doors for me, assisted me when I was walking in snow and helped me carry my travel bags into the train. It was quite nice. I believe that women do things like this too, in a relationship in a caregiving way. Too bad this behavior is about to die. It seems like a very nice tradeoff: Men open doors and assist women in heavy lifting, women bake a cake or scratch men’s backs or leave them a cute note to find.-0655

7). Guys I am dating usually treat me very well, and I strongly believe it’s because of traditional views about how a guy should treat a girl. They hold doors open for me, take me out on dates, pay for dinner or dates (even when I offer to split or pay), stand up for me if someone is treating me with disrespect, etc.(5412).

#7 …a few times a man has offered his seat to me or offer to carry heavy bags or suitcases. But that’s about it (0614)

I guess that is the same thing that I answered for number 6. 7080

The most frequent thing that comes to mind is having doors held open for me. (8148)

Going out to bars and clubs at certain places, women are always allowed to skip the line or get in free. Most clubs even advertise "Ladies free before midnight/Guys half price" or something of that nature- clearly women are getting the upper hand in these situations. Free drinks can be a nice perk as well if it's a place where me and my girlfriends know the bouncers- sometimes they talk to the bartenders to get us drinks. And otherwise there's always creepy men there willing to buy women drinks in order to up their chances at taking someone home that night (which women realize happens- so the smart thing for us to do is be nice, accept the drink, talk a bit, excuse ourselves to the restroom when really moving away to the next room in the bar). Rarely there are nice guys there who buy drinks (and make good conversation), which we can't complain about, and getting in free/skipping lines is always a plus. (3129).

I can think of many times I have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex. In the apartment building I live in, if I am ever getting grocery bags out of my car and one of my male neighbors pull in they almost always offer to carry my bags. I have often received better service or discounts at certain stores or bars simply for being a girl. Also often times cover charges are less for women than men. I also can think of times when men insist on opening doors for women. (8611)

I think every instance when a guy has made an effort for the ‘first date’ and time to be special shows that he has an appreciation for things which females find to be essential in falling in love and getting to know each other. I think the things which he did for me on that first date were based on the stereotypical needs which have been created by my gender. (5834)

In high school, my boyfriend at the time sent me a huge bouquet of flowers to my last class because he knew I loved flowers and it was my birthday. Men giving women flowers is generally the norm so his actions were done simply because it is somewhat expected for men to give their girlfriends flowers on special occasions. In most relationships, it seems as though there is a considerably higher amount of men that give flowers to females than females give to males. This instance supports society's gender norms and how certain actions are placed upon males to partake in actions that females generally are not. (8521)

There have been many instances in which men working in retail or food places give me things for free because of their attraction to me as a woman. For instance, when ordering food at a fast food restaurant once, the man behind the register gave me my meal free after telling me how attractive I was as well as his interest in me. It felt good to be complimented and receive special treatment, however I knew that there was a deeper sexual desire beneath the actions, which is troubling as it is purely for my status as a woman, rather than the person that I am. (1749)

#7. Generally guys open the door for me or even open the car door for me. Another particular instance was at an after party for a formal my sorority had and it was really cold evening- this guy only had his button down dress shirt on and he took it off and gave it to me to wear because I was shivering a lot. These gestures were very gentlemen like and showed that chivalry isn’t dead. (8397)

I was shopping for a friends birthday present. The hat that I wanted to get him wasn’t going to be released until the next day and the employee told me that it would probably sell out quickly so I should get to the store early the next day. I explained that I had class and I wouldn’t be able to get in until later the next day but it’s against the store’s policy to hold merchandise because they count on people waiting in line to buy limited editions. Knowing this, I decided to ask anyway and the employee (a man) said he would but I couldn’t tell anyone because he would get in a lot of trouble. (6819)

I have been given a discount at stores and food places for being female and I’m assuming the sales guys were attracted to me. When I go out to clubs, females are definitely preferred and treated particularly well. (6787)

When I go out to bars and clubs, my female friends and I are at an advantage because we almost always get to cut the line and we don’t normally have to pay a cover charge. Men sometimes buy us drinks, but I have never seen a girl buy a drink for a guy. (2060)

As a woman, there are many instances of opened doors and carrying your grocery bags by men. Men do treat us differently and do certain things, such as giving us free drinks or food at restaurants and giving us free admission to clubs, simply because we are women. (8616)

The first instance that comes to mind when thinking of a time I was treated particularly well for being a woman is when I was 18 and got pulled over by a policeman for speeding and running a stop sign. I was in the car with three of my girlfriends and we were all dolled up to go dancing. The policeman came up to the window and we immediately turned on our charm. He asked where we were going and we told him we were going out dancing and he mentioned he wished he could come join the fun. We went with it and flirted our way out of a ticket. It is those instances when I truly love being female. (2451)

#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

8. After inviting a guy that I liked to my sorority formal, I was completely ignored the entire night; we barely danced, did not eat together, and he sat somewhere else on the bus both to and from the venue. At the end of the night, there was barely a goodbye. Their behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive. While I did have some feelings for the person before the event, I wasn’t expecting much more than a fun night and a good date. However, this person made me feel angry for investing any time in them when I could have brought someone else who actually wanted to be there. I felt stupid, which, for me, is one of the worst ways that a man, or anyone can make you feel. He should have simply told me that he could not come to the event with me, or at least given me the decency of coming and pretending like he was having a good time simply to humor me. (7071)

8. I once felt rejected by a guy who was not interested in seeing me, after the first date, supposedly as a result of my age. After taking me out to dinner once, he did not contact me again until several months after our date in a very casual, non-romantic manner. He told a mutual friend of ours that although he thought I was good company, I was too young (I was twenty and he was twenty-four) for him. Surprisingly, that fact did not stop him from asking me out initially. I’m not sure what his real reasons were, but I did feel rejected on some level because he was a likeable guy. He could have handled the rejection in a much classier way, but telling me directly like an adult instead of our mutual friend, but that might have been expecting too much after one date. [3546]

Typically I am the type of person who sits back and waits for people to seek me out, so consequently I have not had the opportunity to be rejected by somebody I was attracted to. However, I have rejected people that were attracted to me. When this has happened in the past, I will typically try to keep the “relationship” as platonic as possible (introducing them as a friend) to try to subtlety hint to them that I am not interested. If that doesn’t work then I will tell them very clearly that I am not interested but that we can be friends. I try to be as respectful and sensitive with people’s feelings as possible because I know how painful it can be to be rejected. (0941)

I was seeing a guy and he told me a bullshit lie that I saw right through. He told me that I was the perfect girl for him, but that there was something that was not working out that he couldn’t explain and this unexplainable reason was why we couldn’t date. This was false, I was not the perfect girl for him and THAT is why he did not want to date me. I would rather hear that I am just not perfect for a guy rather than have him try to sugar coat the rejection. 4108

A friend and I were talking to this guy. He seemed very interested in my friend because he was only looking at her when he was talking, even though she had a boyfriend. My friend was trying to keep me in the conversation, and I made a comment on the topic that they were discussing. The guy rolled his eyes at me and continued talking to my friend. I felt that this was extremely rude and insensitive. It made me angry that this guy rejected me so rudely. What he could have done instead was to acknowledge my comment, and continue talking with my friend. I would have received the hint, and left without any hard feelings. 2106

They’re have been a few times I have been out with guys I have been interested in or they have showed a lot of interest in me, but as soon as some “slutty” girl walks by they automatically start showing interest in her, because they want a girl to go home with. I think it is very inconsiderate and rude and it makes you feel like you aren’t good enough and don’t live up to their standards although the girls they are speaking with are classless. They could have respectfully finished the conversation and finished the evening with you, and then when I am out of sight you can go and assess her.4747

After inviting a guy that I liked to my sorority formal, I was completely ignored the entire night; we barely danced, did not eat together, and he sat somewhere else on the bus both to and from the venue. At the end of the night, there was barely a goodbye. Their behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive. While I did have some feelings for the person before the event, I wasn’t expecting much more than a fun night and a good date. However, this person made me feel angry for investing any time in them when I could have brought someone else who actually wanted to be there. I felt stupid, which, for me, is one of the worst ways that a man, or anyone can make you feel. He should have simply told me that he could not come to the event with me, or at least given me the decency of coming and pretending like he was having a good time simply to humor me. (7071)

8. I was dating a guy over the summer and as the summer came to an end, he told me he doesn’t want a relationship but he really likes me so he wants to keep talking. I was hurt from the initial rejection but what was even more hurtful was that he didn’t mean what he said. He started ignoring me and stopped talking to me altogether. It would have been more considerate to just tell me that he didn’t want to date anymore and it would’ve been easier to accept than giving me some hope. (6819) There was this one time when I really liked one of my guy friends and he supposedly liked me back according to friends. I told him that I liked him and he said I like you too, but I just got out of a relationship and I am not ready to start dating again. Which was nice of him to say, but about a month later he had a new girlfriend. His behavior was considerate, but I would have rather heard the truth and not be confused by the fact that he was pursuing me in the beginning and then once I liked him back he did not want anything.(3593)

1. I have been rejected many times by the opposite sex. Unfortunately it was always rude or inconsiderate. It either happened over the phone or they just started ignoring me. Rejecting someone or breaking up with someone needs to be done in person. The rejected person needs to be the one to choose if they want you to know or not that they are in pain. -0655

My friend and I met up with some guys we just met earlier that night at dinner. My friend and I were 20 and they were 21. After driving 20 minutes to meet them at a coffee shop, we go there and talked for literally 2 minutes before they walked off to go to a bar without us. Although they were nice when we first met them earlier in the night, they became rude, shallow, and inconsiderate that my friend and I drove 20 minutes to meet up with them. If they did not like us earlier on when we met at dinner, they should not have asked us to hang out later on that night. Although it hurt my feelings a little, I would not want to date someone that rude and inconsiderate anyways. There are plenty of other fish in the sea! (5688)

The most atrocious thing a guy has ever done to me occurred about a year ago with a guy who I thought I could trust and rely on. I had planned a really nice day for us to spend together; I drove us around to everywhere we went and was extremely patient with him, even when he did things that would have drove any other girl crazy. We got back his apartment and I started to have a migraine headache. I didn’t want him to touch or kiss me and I just wanted to sleep it off. I asked if we could go and get dinner, thinking it might make me feel better to eat. We went to eat dinner, he insisted on paying and when we returned home I still felt sick. I went back to sleep and got woken up at 3 in the morning and was kicked out of his apartment because I refused to sleep with him. I was accused of being a typical, lying, deceitful girl who used bate and switch to get him to buy me dinner. He had an expectation that buying me dinner meant sex and when I didn’t fulfill his expectations, I was kicked out and forced to drive home for 45 minutes in the middle of the night with a blinding headache. He could have simply let me sleep and never called me again, rather than forcing me into a dangerous situation. I felt unsafe being in his house after the way he reacted (he used physical dominance), and I was forced me to leave. (5981)

1. There was a guy who had persistently bugged me to be his girlfriend for over 3 months so I decided to finally say yes. A month later, I stopped hearing from him, he stopped receiving my calls and he stopped coming around in what seemed out of the blue. When I finally got a hold of him after five days of being left in the darkness, he informed me that had gotten back with his ex-girlfriend. He was not only inconsiderate, and rude, but also very insensitive and disgusting. I disliked him so much and hated the fact that he could not be man enough to tell me in my face what was going on at the moment it happened instead of running scared and going M-I-A on me. The most considerate way of handling this situation I think, would have been to let me know what was going from the beginning or to simply leave me the hell alone when I rejected him during the first three months of me knowing him. What a PIG! (5696)

I cannot remember any instances where I’ve been rejected by someone I found attractive, but that is because as a female, tend not to approach males. However if I did in fact approach men I found attractive on a regular basis I am sure I would be rejected on several occasions. 9057

8). I usually don’t make a move unless I can tell that the guy is at least a little bit into me. Therefore, I can’t think of a time when I have been rejected. (5412).

  1. 8 …the same friend in Question 1 told me that even though we were best friends, he had more of a connection with this other girl. He told me he never seemed ready to have a relationship with me. It was honest, maybe a little insensitive, but it wasn’t anything I could change. (0614)

I can only think of one time in which someone of the opposite sex rejected me and it was not in a straightforward way. I had a huge crush on a guy freshman year of college and was seriously obsessed with the idea of being with him because he was gorgeous and incredibly smart. We hung out plenty of times and he seemed really into me. Finally, one of his best friends that was also a good friend of mine told me that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. We continued to hang out and be flirty but I kept that comment in the back of my mind. A couple weeks later, this friend also told me that the guy had hooked up with another girl at a party the night before. The guy himself couldn’t tell me he wasn’t interested, only his friend would.(3341)

8. I was talking to a guy for several months but he didn't live locally, so most of our conversations had to be over the phone. Everything seemed to be going well, and one of the times he came to town we went out and had a good time. Because of his business he had to leave town the next night, and after he left, our communication stopped pretty fast. It wasn't the first time he had come to visit, so I didn't understand what about that time made him over it. I thought it was extremely rude because he gave no explanation, and it was clearly his choice to end the relationship. I felt inadequate, and took it very personally. I still don't know what happened, and I think he could have done it in a much better way simply by explaining why he was done. He could make up a fake reason for all I care, just give one. The fact that he didn't made me feel very hurt and like I wasn't even worth the time. (6791)

I went on a few dates with a guy and I thought things were going great. He was a great listener and I had a lot of fun with him. After a few days he called me to meet up to tell me he wanted to be friends. He was really nice about it and even though I didn’t understand his reasoning, we left things on good terms. Later that night I started realizing the rejection and how lonely I felt after opening up to him and then getting turned away. I wasn’t too torn up about it, but my mind still went through the rollercoaster of “what’s wrong with me?”, “what did I say wrong?”, “what could he have not liked about me?” (0419)

I do not put myself in the position to be rejected. I allowed my boyfriend to make all the initial moves so I would never feel rejected if it didn’t work out. 7080

In general, I am not the one to make the first mood in fear of rejection. The few times I have had an issue is through breakups, and every time I have had someone break up with me it has been via e-mail or text, except for one time which was a phone call. I feel like that’s one of the worst ways to break up because really, in order for both people to walk away with closure, it should be more of a conversation and less of a quick decision followed by no communication. (8148)

2 years ago, the night of my birthday, there was a guy who I was casually seeing that hurt me (he wasn't my boyfriend nor were we really dating, although we were more than innocent friends by our flirtation, conversations, and more obviously semi-physical, not-just-platonic level 'relationship'). Whatever kind it was, I really liked him- I didn't know any better at the time. I met him at a bar about a year before my birthday night (bars=a stupid, no good place to meet guys!). We were attracted, clicked, and began to see each other occasionally. He was charismatic and easy to talk to, and he agreed to help plan my birthday and get my friends and I into a nice club where he knew people working there. All was going decent once we were at the party, until I don't see this guy around, so I look for him- only to find him moments later in the corner making out with one of my 'friends' (who knew how much I liked him, so she was a backstabbing friend)! I wasn't too surprised at him, to be honest, because I secretly knew he was just an asshole- but I was still crushed it happened, and on my birthday, so it ruined my night. Even after my other friends tried separating/yelling at them- they kept going at it, despite possibly considering my feelings. I honestly don't see how the rejection could have been made nicer in this situation- maybe he could have waited until the night after my birthday party ended to screw me over? I stayed strong at the club but once I got home that night I cried giant tears. Picking one of my friends over me on the night he helped plan, and worse that this happened right in front of my face, all the while he couldn't have cared less, made it a very rude rejection. (For the record, I survived, have since gotten over the situation and am so much wiser). (3129).

I cannot think of a time where I was blatantly rejected by a guy I was attracted to. I do think however that my ex-boyfriends all dealt with breaking up in the same way, not talking about anything at all. While I may have been the one to end the relationships this made me feel a lack of closure which talking could have simply fixed. (8611)

An instance where I was rejected was when I was attracted to a person and they were unaware that I was attracted to them because I had recently dated one of their friends and therefore they saw me as ‘off-limits’. They didn’t directly rejection me yet while I felt like I was making an effort to flirt with them and make it obvious to them that I was interested they ended up going home with another girl and actually asking me if I could give them a ride back to his place. They weren’t inconsiderate because they merely saw me as a friend that was off bounds but I think now that they know the circumstance they would go back and do it entirely differently if they had the opportunity. (5834) The opposite sex rejected me by not asking to hang out anymore. We had been hanging out for a few weeks and then he started to show less and less interest in me. Once he stopped texting me, I took a hint and decided to not think about him anymore and move on. I don’t think their behavior was inconsiderate, rude or insensitive because I have done the same thing to guys and I don’t think I was acting rude, inconsiderate or insensitive when I stopped texting back guys who I wasn’t interested in anymore. They made me feel bad about myself and I felt lonely but after I met someone new I was glad that they rejected me and didn’t waste anymore of my time. I believe that a more considerate way to reject a girl that you have previously shown interest in is to slowly fade away until it dwindles down to nothing. (8521)

There was an instance in which I found a man attractive and though that he would reciprocate my attention. I decided to engage in conversation during class and was met with disinterest as he somewhat dismissed my comments and did not entertain my conversation. The way he acted was rude and insensitive and I could tell that his lack of interest stemmed from the fact that I was not the “ideal” girl he was looking for. I did not think that it warranted such a response, but I did not take it to heart. I know that I am of interest to other men, so I brushed the instance aside and did not let it affect me further. I feel that he could have handled the situation in a much more considerate way. The fact that I wanted to talk to him didn’t mean that I wanted a relationship or anything but a conversation! (1749)

#8. Rejection is one of my absolute fears and I’ve never really put myself in a situation in which I could be rejected. Call me “old school” but I prefer the guy to make the first move rather than myself. (8397)

My ex-boyfriend and I had broken up and I had rebounded with another guy. After breaking up with that guy, I wanted to get back with my ex, but he said he wanted to move on. We had lunch and we told each other how we felt and it was very civil. It was an awkward, uncomfortable lunch and I couldn’t understand how he had the strength to just end things so at the time I felt like he was acting cold, but now it was definitely for the best. (6787)

I was once rejected in the most inconsiderate way possible, by being ignored. I was dating a guy for about a month, and we had seen each other everyday for a month. He even met my parents and came to family events. One week, I stopped hearing from him. I heard from one of his friends that he was in out of town, but he didn’t tell me he was leaving. When he got back, I never heard from him again. I tried to call him a couple of times, and when he didn’t answer, I stopped trying. If he had just told me he wasn’t interested anymore, I would have understood. It was the fact that he completely cut off all contact with me with no explanation that really bothered me. (2060)

The only instances that I remember being rejected was only back in elementary school, where I would write letters to a boy that I liked. The only form of rejection that I received was that the boys would just not write back or would just tell me no in person. But, I’ve never experienced any instances of rejection in later years only because I did not have the courage to approach them in the first place. (8616)

Since I don’t tend to put myself in situations where rejection is a possibility, the one instance I can think of is in my last relationship. There were numerous times in the year and a half of dating that he said “no” to me when I tried to initiate sex with him. He constantly told me how sexy he thought I was, but then sometimes he would say he was too tired to have sex. To be rejected in a circumstance where vulnerability is oozing from every pore of my body is the most uncomfortable feeling. By rejecting me more than once, he made start feeling insecure about myself and the relationship. If this wasn’t his intention and he really was “too tired” then he needed to say “no” in a more considerate way that let me know it wasn’t me, it was him. For instance, he could’ve said that he really wanted to, but he was too tired and then gave an alternative for getting intimate, like even just cuddling. It seemed he never thought about how his responses affected me. (2451)

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

9. I tend to be a rather upfront person, and I may initiate some sort of flirtatious action to get a feel for where we were. This could be something very subtle, but the many subtle movements could add up to develop a new level in the relationship. If I did not feel reciprocation, I would understand that perhaps we were just friends, or that I misunderstood something along the way. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with the girl initiating the physical contact, and I would definitely do this to take things to the next level.

9. Situation 1: I wouldn’t wait for them to make a move (because often times they take way too long), instead, I would kiss them. It’s happened before that the dates have been great and the feelings between us were mutual, but the guy did not know how to make the first move. So I make the move first. [3546]

In order to hint to this person that I would want a more physically intimate relationship, I would start off by making subtle jokes about it or actually physically being close to them. Typically guys will pick up on those cues, if they don’t then I let it go. (0941)

If I was on a date and wanted physical relations I would first give the man glances or looks that were suggestive. Locking eyes and giving a sexual undertone to the look I believe is very powerful and persuasive. Another thing that usually works is touching a guy randomly on the arm, torso, or leg for a very brief instant. Making that very small initial physical contact I think opens the gateway to further physical activity. 4108

To influence this person in this situation, I would do a few things. I would first and foremost always be physically close to him. I would stand or sit in close proximity to him, as a nonverbal hint that I want to be closer with him. I would then be making flirty comments, to let him know that I want us to be more than just friends. The third thing would be to be very touchy-feely, giving him the impression that I feel very comfortable with being intimate with him. 2106

To let the opposite sex know I am interested in getting intimate is easy. Lean into them and be very touchy feely, but in my experience they always seem to get the hint. Not much luring is necessary. 4747

I tend to be a rather upfront person, and I may initiate some sort of flirtatious action to get a feel for where we were. This could be something very subtle, but the many subtle movements could add up to develop a new level in the relationship. If I did not feel reciprocation, I would understand that perhaps we were just friends, or that I misunderstood something along the way. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with the girl initiating the physical contact, and I would definitely do this to take things to the next level. (7071)

In order to influence the person, I would be flirty in a touchy way, like pushing his arm and laughing when he tells a joke, and moving closer to him while sitting to give him the idea of putting his arm around me. Also, while walking I would touch his hand every once in awhile in a subtle way like when hands accidentally hit each other.(3593)

To try to make him more physically intimate I would flirt by being touchy. I would put my hand on his knee or touch his arms, something along those lines. I would also try to get closer to him. (5688)

1. I would try to get closer to him. Sit closer if it is possible, If that does not do anything maybe put my hand very close to his so that he could be the one to decide if we should hold hands or not. I think I would be more flirtatious to encourage him, maybe show more skin but moving my hair. If I felt the date was ending I would propose we go do something else so that the date would be prolonged.-0655

In a situation where I know that the guy is interested and is too shy to become physically intimate in any way, I would make subtle physical advances. This may include wearing clothing that is slightly more revealing, sitting and walking closer, putting my hand on his arm, shoulder, etc. whenever possible, or simply being the first one to initiate an advance. If I’ve been dating a person for a month, and the guy hasn’t made any physical advances...there probably won’t be another date. (5981)

1. In order to influence this person to become physically intimate with me and go as far sexually as I wanted to go, I would start touching him a little more and bringing my body closer to him. For example, if were at the movies, I’d intentionally try to touch his hand a little bit every time we would go for the popcorn and act like was an accident. Or I would pat him on the shoulder if he made a funny joke. I would do anything to touch him a little bit while still making it seem innocent and completely by accident. =) (5696)

9). I would make him feel more physically intimate by increasing physical contact, whether by touching his arm while speaking to him, or by wrapping my arm around his or holding his hand while walking. I can usually read body language pretty well and would interpret his reaction to my increase in physical contact, then act accordingly. (5412).

1. I would begin to do some verbal flirting. This means I would suggest things using metaphorical language. I would also force the physical contact to happen. For instance, if I wanted him to hold my hand I would make a point to place my hand near his while walking to see if he brushes it and hopefully grabs it. Any other physical constant I would also send strong signals by physically moving myself closer. However I would still not make the actual physical first move, but would send strong signals that it is okay that he makes that first move. 9057

#9 …I’d ask him what he wants to do after the date and ask him over to my place. I feel like that would be enough of an invitation. (0614)

I would continuously joke about taking the next step. I would not want to make a move, nor would I even seriously talk about moving to a physical level because I would be so embarrassed if he did not feel the same way. 7080

If it’s been just a month and there is no physical interaction I would want to take it slow. What I would probably do is loop my arm around his casually if we are walking around and see if he pulls away or if he doesn’t. If he doesn’t react I may try to be closer to him in general (standing closer, sitting closer, etc) but my guess would be that he would either want to be closer after that (in which case he would advance) or back off (and I’d give him space). I feel like although it’s a casual simple gesture to hold someone’s arm it can tell a lot about their comfort level with you, and that’s the most important thing in a situation of becoming intimate, no matter how many dates you’ve been on. (8148)

I'm very shy when I'm around attractive guys, especially new guys, so I probably wouldn't do very much, especially if I've only known him a month and am hesitant about taking risks- although with men, I very seriously doubt that I would want to take it up to a physical level and him not feel the same way (or more strongly). That also causes hesitance because I don't want him to get the wrong idea and/or try to move faster than I'm conveying. As I said in a different response, guys can be serious offenders in misinterpreting women. My hints would be all non-verbal and subtle. I'd be more flirtatious, use my eyes a lot by staring, and use the appropriate type of expression. (3129).

I think I tend to go very slow when it comes to wanting to be physical with a male, so I usually rely on his cues and just go as far as I am comfortable. I have ever tried to make a first move but I think a persons body language can say a lot. (8611)

I would suggest something that entails both of us going back to a private setting and either spending the night together or getting cocktails together in order to put the thought into their mind that I was trying to loosen up and take our situation one step further. (5834)

Personally, I would influence this person by using more intimate body language and gestures to imply that I was interested in going further. I would also consume alcohol in order to feel more relaxed when trying to pursue someone to go as far sexually as I wanted to go. I would start out slow since there hasn’t been any previous physical contact but eventually take it as far as I wanted. (8521)

In this situation, I would most likely just continue to be very engaging and a bit more physically present than usual. For example, I might rest my hand on his leg or touch his arm when speaking with him and maybe even wear a bit more revealing clothing. Depending on my comfort level with him at that point in the relationship, I might even lean in for a kiss myself when I felt it appropriate on the date. (1749)

#9. I would probably get flirtier with him and loop my arm around his when we walked, or lean my head against his shoulder, or put my hand on his knee. I’d probably joke around with him by saying something along the lines of, “so when are you going to kiss me already and swoop me off of my feet?” and see where it goes from there. I don’t think I’d ever want to physically make the first move and I think joking about it would probably break the ice and make a seemingly awkward situation more fun. (8397)

9. I would keep touching his arm or make any effort to make physical contact. Be touchy. I also would keep dropping hints or jokes to see where he was. It makes it less awkward to make jokes or hint so it’s up to him whether or not he wants to respond to the hints. (6819)

I would flirt throughout the date, make sure we’re having a good time and laughing a lot. I’m quite perverted and joke about sexual things a lot so I’m assuming I’d have hint at things going further as the night was closing. Small physical gestures like touching his arm or leg or biting my lip or looking at him suggestively would all come in to play. Somehow extending the date to his place would be ideal so that I wouldn’t have to have him awkwardly stay the night at my place, I could just leave whenever I feel like it. (6787)

I would probably initiate some sort of physical act because I have no problem with that. I would just start with holding hands or putting my hand on his leg to see how he reacts to that. I wouldn’t do anything more until I knew he was comfortable with physical intimacy. (2060)

Since I am not at forward to say what I feel or want to do, I think I would make subtle movements or be more flirtatious. I tend to be very shy so the only things I would do as far as being physically intimate is to drop subtle hints here and there. But I usually am not the type of girl who would initiate anything, so if from that it doesn't go anywhere then I would leave it the way it is. (8616)

I would make sure to have as much physical contact with the person as possible through the night so he knew I was interested. I would do things like touch him when I laugh, brush up against him a bit while walking. I would also make sure to make eye contact throughout the night. I would never put what I wanted sexually from him into words and ask or talk about it. The physical subtleties is are far as I could go to “influence” him. If that didn’t work, I would not want to continue any sort of relationship with him because he is obviously a person that cannot take initiative and that is extremely unattractive to me. (2451)

#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

10. I would probably encourage us to stay in places with a lot going on where there was not a lot of space for intimacy. In addition, I would not play in to any advances that the guy was making. By the end of the date, I would say that I was tired and ready to go home.(7071)

10. Situation 2: I would remain friendly but standoffish, which is my natural aura anyway. Like situation 1, this scenario has also played out for me in reality, and by the tone of my voice or my body language, I’m able to make it very clear that I’m not interested. I’ll behave more casually and less flirtatiously, and maintain a more friendly atmosphere by disregarding or shutting off any romantic attempts by them. [3546]

In this case, I would start to make excuses, whether it be about having to go pick up a friend or a family emergency, the excuses and explanations just start to roll. If the guy keeps trying to come up with ways to solve all my excuses and can’t take a hint, I come up with more excuses and promise to see them another time. After getting out of the situation, then I will later explain to them the parameters of the relationship I want with them {i.e. none at all, friendship, etc} and see how they react. (0941)

In order to lead the night in a platonic direction, I will keep actual physical distance. I feel like this gives a signal that the next physical step is off limits as well. Also, mentioning just once that someone else is attractive will really throw a guy off of trying to get physically intimate with you. 4108

In this situation, I would not do any of the things from the previous situation. I would not be in close proximity to him, as to not give him the opportunity to make any moves. I would not flirt with him. Instead, I would be very cordial and friendly. I also would not be touchy-feely. If the guy is not picking up on these hints, I would say “Oh, you are such a great friend,” or something to that effect. It may seem harsh, but guys are very straightforward and do not always pick up on the cues that girls give. Sometimes they require that straightforwardness in return. 2106

I would sit farther away and don’t let the conversation go anywhere towards dating or relationships. Let them know that your not interested in seeing anyone right now, and you would just be better off as friends. I’ve learned it’s better to be honest that your not interested otherwise they get upset that you’ve led them on.4747

I would probably encourage us to stay in places with a lot going on where there was not a lot of space for intimacy. In addition, I would not play in to any advances that the guy was making. By the end of the date, I would say that I was tired and ready to go home. (7071)

. I would find ways to distract him by going to places with a lot to do and losing him every one in awhile to show that we don’t need to always be close and I don’t want to be close.(3593)

I would try to be nice and keep conversation going on the date, but I would not sit very close to him, just far enough so it seems like the date is going well and I enjoy his company, but that I am not interested in getting physical or leading him on in any way. (5688)

1. I would try to let him down easy. If I did not want to see him again I would try to end the date as soon as possible and to try and stay further from him so that he cannot initiate any physical contact. I would try to avoid him subtly not to hurt his pride. If I wanted to stay friends with him I would give it a shot to talk to him and see if he still wants to see me if I am not interested in him in that way.-0655

I don’t believe in playing games, and would simply make it known that I am not interested in being anything more than friends. I would probably follow through with this by spending time apart for a while until I know that his feelings for me have diminished. (5981)

1. If I did not want a man to touch me or try to achieve physical intimacy, I would not only tell him what was on my mind but I would also have the backup plan of acting like I am not feeling well… like I am coming down with the flu or something and that it is not safe to come close to me.(5696)

10). If I would avoid physical contact and would actively make sure that I wasn’t making flirtatious gestures that might lead him on. If he tries to make a move, then I would probably be up front with him by telling him that I really enjoy spending time with him but don’t really think the physical connection is there (or something of the sort). (5412)

1. I would avoid consistent eye contact as well as purposely distance myself from him. If he leaned into my area I would find a way to recreate the original distance that was previously there. If conversation was directed towards physical contact I would change the topic, so as not to make him believe that physical contact was going to happen. 9057

I would mention several times that I really value our “friendship”. Also I would display no physical attraction (i.e. rubbing his arm or moving closer to him). I would stay physically distant, keep my arms crossed. 7080 10. I would become more distant in both the conversation and physically. I would move away if he tried to put his arm around me or keep my hands occupied in hopes that he would understand. I wouldn’t flirt by touching his arm or anything and try to keep it as friend-zone as possible. (6819)

I tend to have a rather large personal bubble, and not like people I don’t know to be to close to me. Because of that I’m perfectly comfortable taking a step backwards if I feel like someone is standing to close. In this situation I probably would do that and keep a buffer between us. I would also probably keep my arms to myself and not make opening gestures (this way I’m more compacted and it is more closed off). Worse case scenario, if he doesn’t get it I’ll just say I’m not ready for anything physical. (8148)

If I'm on this date and am not feeling it as far as physical attraction- most likely I will want to end my relationship with this person in a short matter of time unless they have very promising other qualities- but in reality, a level of physical attraction is important if the relationship is going to progress to anything worthwhile. So if I see that my date is clearly physically attracted to me, I will probably sense that he will make a move soon and feel worried about it since I don't want that at this point. Unless I'm nearly certain a move will be made , I would probably keep the date going and not say anything as to not hurt his feelings. Then at a later time if I don't begin to feel differently or like him more, I'd have to let him go. If I know for sure he's going to make a move during that time though, I would probably just have to be blunt about it not being okay with me. If that response didn't go well, I would get more blunt and explain further my disinterest, maybe having to be mean if he still isn't getting the point, then probably flee the scene of the date. Lying or making excuses doesn't work in the long-term because even if it's gets you out of confrontation that time, men will just keep bothering you if they are really interested, and eventually you'll have to express your non-attraction/disinterest. (3129).

I think I would use body language to keep distance and space between us and just make sure not lead him on in conversation. I think while being polite as well, being up-front and obvious is the best way to go. (8611)

If I felt that someone was coming onto me yet I didn’t want to reciprocate those feelings I would go meet up with a group of friends with that individual after our date and say that I was going to spend the night with one of them because I had seen them in awhile. This way his feelings aren’t hurt directly and the relationship can be maintained later on if I want and it’s not too forward of a shut down. (5834)

I would influence this person to avoid becoming sexual by acting uninterested and physically shut him out through my body language. If he didn’t get the message with my negative and apathetic actions I would tell him directly that I was not interested. (8521)

In this situation, I would definitely do all that I could as to not lead this person on to think that I am interested in a physical relationship. I would make my body language very clear by not sitting too close to him, not touching him, and not engaging in prolonged eye contact. I would also keep the mood very light and joking at all times, as to not provide a serious moment in which he could make a move. If things persisted and I felt uncomfortable, I would openly state that I was not interested in a physical relationship or the commitment. (1749)

#10. I would steer away from conversations about further becoming involved with each other. Then at the end of the date I would probably tell him that I think it would be best if we were just friends. I don’t want to be unfair to him and just leave him hanging at the end of the date especially if he doesn’t catch any hints that I might have left him throughout the date that I didn’t want to continue seeing him. (8397)

I would say I enjoyed the date, but I want to take things slow and not rush anything. I feel like a guy would understand that being told straight up. (6787)

I would just keep my distance without being rude. I have been in this situation before, and it is really difficult to keep distance without being rude. The best way to go about this is just being completely honest and telling them that you are not really interested in a commitment or in a physical relationship. (2060)

If I am not interested in this guy at all, I would definitely stop all flirting to avoid becoming sexual. I would hint on how “nice” he is and what a good “friend” he’ll make so that he understands that it is completely platonic and not at all sexual. If from that he still does not understand, then I would tell him that I am not interesting. Though I would not be able to be forward to initiate intimacy, I have no problem telling a person that I do not want to be with him if I truly don’t. (8616)

This is one of the most uncomfortable situations to be in. I would do the exact opposite as I mentioned above and keep my physical distance. I would try to use body language to show that I am not going to take this date any farther than the date. If he was to physically try something I would stop him and let him know that I’m not ready to go there with him, thank him for the date and say, “nice to meet you, goodbye,” to make it clear this is our last date. (2451)


For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

11. Other guys talk to you/interact with you besides them. (7071)

11. … You treat them indifferently and spend more time with other men. [3546]

…it seems like your attention is elsewhere. Although women are typically pegged as being the jealous one’s, guys get jealous when they feel that women are giving their attention to other men, friends, etc.(0941)

They see you flirting with other people or when other men give you compliments right in front of them. 4108

When you don’t pay any attention to them and your are talking to other guys4747

The woman has been physically intimate with another man 2106

Other guys talk to you/interact with you besides them. (7071)

… they see you talking to another man or when another man seems to be attracted to the girl. Also, it is when they feel threatened by another man due to their status or physical appearance.(3593)

-other guys flirt with me. (5688)

I have fun without them (5981)

I acknowledge another man’s compliments such as a simple “you like very nice today” or “I love your perfume! It smells delicious…”. (5696)

you hang out with members of the opposite sex without that person there. (3341)

…I have multiple male friends or am friendly with other males. (5412)

…you two are dating and another guy flirts with you, regardless of whether you show any interest back. (6791) girls dress more revealing to show off for other guys. (0419)

#11 …women don’t give them enough attention. (0614) … their girlfriend still hangs out with her ex-boyfriend. -5513 11. You are having fun without them or spending time with guy friends (0023).

11. Their girlfriend spends more time with another guy than them. (3259)

I insult their intelligence or question their masculinity. 7080

11. I’m friends with his friends. (6819) …someone they care about is more interested in someone else. (8148)

a woman rejects them, but then shows interest in someone else (especially a friend, peer, or 'enemy') in their presence. (3129).

I decide to pursue my own goals instead of theirs int he long run. (8611)

they feel threatened by the opposite sex’s appearance and there seems to be history between them and their partner. (5834) …They care more about their girlfriend than the girlfriend cares about her boyfriend. (8521)

A woman first shows genuine interest in them and catches their attraction, but then “plays hard-to-get” by giving the same amount of attention, if not more, to other men around them. (1749)

...Girls talk about other guys. No matter what, guys are always offended and always see other guys as competition. (8397)

Other guys comment on a girl's looks or is being nice and talking but it's taken as flirting. Competition gets guys hyped amongst each other. (6787) A girl they are interested in is flirting with another guy, especially when there is physical interaction going on. (2060)

…you talk about how much fun you had hanging with your guy friends. (8616)

Other men come up to their girlfriend at a bar and start flirting with them and the girl has a conversation with the stranger. Men tend to think we’re flirting back when a lot of the time we’re just being polite. (2451)

#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

12. … Is always caught off guard when the girl is the initiator. [3546]

12. Has no desire to take things slowly. (7071)

Usually does the initiating. Men will make the first move, however women do things in order to get the guy to make the move, such as dress a certain way, or flirt with them a certain amount. So, I think this is equal participation. 4108

…typically tries to use emotions and notions of “love” to get what they want.(0941)

Is the one initiating as quickly as they possibly can 4747

Always is the first to initiate the sex 2106

Has no desire to take things slowly. (7071)

. … tends to waste no time and goes straight for the kill.(3593)

-is the more forward one. (5688)

…Often does it too early.-0655

Usually makes the first moe (5981)

…usually just goes until a female tells him to stop. (5412).

12.) …usually does the initiating.

1. Tries to achieve eye contact and then achieve physical contact of some sort that entails physical intimacy such as holding your hand or playing with your hair.(5696)

can be pretty sleazy (3341)

12. Is quick to do so. (6819)

  1. 12 …is fairly forward. (0614)

….should almost always take control. (6791) is aggressive and sometimes overwhelming. (0419) becomes more touchy. (For example, holding my hand) -5513 usually hold negative views of women who initiate sex. 7080

…is usually the one to make the first move. (8148)

will try their luck when given any slight chance of success (3129).

has always made the first move in my experience. (8611)

is more aggressive and forward than females. (5834)

…Generally makes the first move. (8521)

Is more likely to “make a move.” (1749)

'...'is usually more aggressive and want to go further than a girl may want to. (8397)

Is always up to fool around. (6787) Most often makes the first move. When the woman makes the first move, the man appreciates that she took the initiative as long as there is a mutual attraction. (2060)

…is usually the first to make any sort of moves. (8616)

should take charge on that. (2451)

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

13.Verbally communicating what they feel. (7071)

13. … The actual bodily functions of women. [3546]

Who they think they are attracted to as opposed to who their body tells them they are attracted to. 4108

The fact that when I say “no” I actually mean it. 2106

How a woman feels! 4747

Verbally communicating what they feel. (7071)

. … women in general and their emotions.(3593)

-women's feelings! (5688)

how to verbally express themselves. 9729

1. What women want!!! (5696)

1. …listening to what I am saying and not what you think I will say.-0655

their own emotions and what causes them to feel a certain way. (3341)

…the little things a female appreciates, such as a little note, a single flower, or anything that lets her know he is thinking about her or that he cares about her. This is important, especially since females tend to overanalyze situations and activate a broader range of emotions than males. (5412)

  1. 13 …how women express themselves. (0614)

…mundane tasks, such as keeping things clean, grocery shopping, and organization. (6791) reading signs and getting the picture if a girls isn’t into them. (0419)

how girl fights work. -5513 how to respond to a woman when she is upset. 7080

…the consequences of some things they do or say to a women. (8148)

what is feels like to face impossible expectations that demand women to be physically and sexually ideal and skilled, while at the same time remaining pure, innocent, and 'wholesome'. (3129).

taking cues when a women is not interested, and how any one women thinks in general. (8611)

the fact that girls love flowers as frequently and spontaneously as possible. (5834)

...the way females think and feel. (8521)

The fact that not ALL women want them. (1749)

...women's emotions. (8397) 13. predicting how we would react to a situation. (6819)

…how sexist they really are.(0941)

being sly about checking out other girls. (6787)

Being able to listen to a woman and understand what she is talking about. (2060)

…the little things they say or do that can be hurtful. (8616)

how much emotional power they have over women that are in love with them (2451)

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

14.doesn’t necessarily need to do to impress me. (7071)

14. … Is either really good at, or can’t do it at all. [3546]

…needs to work on. There is a tendency to hypersexualize and leave out any component of feeling, emotional, or intimacy.(0941)

Does well when they are extremely into a girl, but does very poorly when they think a girl is just alright. Also guys are very romantic when a girl is hard to get and very unromantic when they think they have a girl in the palm of their hand. 4108

Need to do often because they only pull out all the stops in the beginning and then get over it 4747

Is either good or bad at doing, depending on the guy. 2106

doesn’t necessarily need to do to impress me. (7071)

. … needs to work on.!(3593)

-should do because women like it. (5688)

may not always be very good at or understand how to do, but I’d always give them an A for effort. 9729

1. Has trouble doing. Some guys don’t seem to have a romantic bone in them.(5696)

can be good at, but only some of them actually are. (3341)

1. …can be just as much as girls.-0655

…can either be really great at or can use some female guidance with. It depends on the guy. (5412)

…does when they truly care about you. It doesn't need to be a huge gesture or gift, just something small to show that you are who they think and care about. (6791) is really good at. Guys always have something up their sleeve. (0419)

is embarrassed to admit that they enjoy expressing this. 7080

…tends to be good at, although its not something that is seen often (they aren’t romantic often, but when they are its always worth it simply because of the effort). (8148)

can do to make a girl feel special and enhance a moment, or fail miserably with an attempt that is way too cheesy (3129).

can choose or not choose to engage in. (8611)

should value more often because they are more likely to get what they want is they are perceived as romantic versus a player. (5834)

…Generally places less emphasis on when compared to females. (8521)

Usually does in order to achieve sexual goals with a woman. However, when the opposite sex does so sincerely (which really requires effort) it indicates that they truly care for that person. (1749)

14. should always, but hardly, do. (6819) '...'lacks. They usually just want to “get it in” and have no idea how to “woo” a girl. (8397)

Is very capable of. The thing is, they will do it for the girl they actually care about. (6787) Needs to be taught. Girls can’t just expect every guy to have creative and romantic ideas up their sleeve. Girls need to drop hints or blatantly tell guys that they like romantic things. They should help guys by giving them ideas. (2060)

…think they NEED to do, but shouldn't stress about doing it. (8616)

should realize is the biggest turn on for many women (2451)

#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

15.Taking them to events outside of their comfort zones, and seeing how they interact with their buddies. (7071) 15. … Asking questions about their past experiences with other men, or seeing how sexually far the girl is willing to go on the first few dates. [3546]

...presenting opportunities for that person to “mess up” or leave. Guys will often act like they don’t care about a situation, when in reality it is a test.(0941)

Bringing a girl in front of their friends. If a girl gets the approval of a guy’s friends, then she gets the approval of the guy. 4108

Seeing how you act around their friends, and seeing if his friends approve of you 2106

Bringing them around your closest friends and seeing how they get along with them, also going on vacation with them is another way to tell. 4747

Taking them to events outside of their comfort zones, and seeing how they interact with their buddies. (7071)

. … introducing them to your really good looking friends to see if they stare or try anything with them when you are not around.(3593)

-meeting their mother. (5688)

seeing how they interact with their own friends. Sometimes things need to get weaker in order to know that they can get strong. (5981)

#15 …seeing how she acts around his friends (0614)

1. Having their friend hit on you on the sidelines and seeing if you flirt back or if you set that friend straight and announce your connection with the guy you are with to them.(5696)

trying to find out how trustworthy they are. (3341)

…in my experience I don't see that men test women. Women test men a lot more. (6791) ...seeing how she reacts to certain scenarios, such as hanging out with female friends to see if she gets overly jealous, or something of the sort. (5412)

1. …teasing you until you get seriously annoyed.-0655

15. seeing how you act around other guys or their guy friends. (6819) pushing the limits to find out how much they will do for them. Girls do this more than guys though. (0419)

trying to get their girlfriend in the “underdog” position. For example, making her always be the one to ask to hang out, or making her be the one to initiate the text conversation. -5513

15. Making her meet his friends in order to get their approval (0023).

seeing what they can get away with. 7080

…pushing the limits to see how much you will let them get away with/do when they are with or without you. (8148)

playing mind games involving jealousy and manipulation to see how much you put up with (3129).

introducing you to their guy friends for approval or by seeing how much space they will give them. (8611)

seeing if the girl is capable of being laid back and accepted by his friends. Guys also like to test girls by flirting with other girls in front of them and seeing their levels of jealousy that arise in order to know if they are going to be clingy or not. (5834) …Placing them in certain situations and observing their actions, for example, hanging out with his friends or meeting his family.(8521)

Pushing them to do thing sexually that they may not want. (1749)

seeing how she acts and gets along with important people in his life- usually “the guys” and his family. (8397)

Being moody or quiet or particularly irritating to see what a girl will do and what pushes her buttons. (6787) Introducing her to their family and friends. (2060)

…testing her loyalty, such as the opposite sex (male) letting the girls out with her girlfriends and guy friends. (8616)

pushing their limits. They will do what they can to see how much they can get away with. (2451)

#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

16. Physical strength and desire to have a real job that might require them to play the role of Mr. Mom. (7071) 16. … Picking up the check, house chores, and childcare. [3546]

…any situation that threatens their perception of what it is to be a man. Whether it is as simple as opening a door or being the breadwinner—men do not want their masculinity threatened by women being totally independent.(0941)

How much money the girl makes compared to the man. I feel like, especially in a marriage, the man still wants to make more money. 4108

Strength and careers (salary) 4747

Dates. Men usually like to pay for dates. However, I do not see this as a bad thing or something that is meant to be demeaning. It shows chivalry and respect. 2106

Physical strength and desire to have a real job that might require them to play the role of Mr. Mom. (7071)

. … physical strength and education. (3593)

physical labor and manners (5981)

-jokes about women being in the kitchen. (5688)

1. Women’s driving skills. Men are willing to put anything on the line when it comes to how bad a woman drives.(5696)

housework and number of sexual partners. (3341)

  1. 16 …housework. Men expect women to take care of most of the housework even if they create the mess.(0614)

…most things! Men don't want women to be stronger, wealthier, more adventurous, etc than them! (6791)

women in the workforce. I feel like guys are still uncomfortable with the idea of women being above them. (0419)

our grasp on our emotions. 7080

…flirting outside of a relationship (I think it’s often that the man thinks it’s okay for him to do but not for the women, when it shouldn’t be okay for either). (8148)

the double standard of sexuality, where men who have a lot of sex are praised while a woman who expresses sexual freedom in the same fashion is still shunned and called a slut/whore (3129)

Letting a women truly pursue their full time career goals. (8611)

16. women being able to take care of themselves and be independent. (6819) females being in charge of a job that tends to be run by males or when females exert their power in group situations which males could have done the job as well but a female was elected. (5834) …Physical actives and overall dominance.(8521)

Dangerous, risky, or highly beneficial things. Men often put a double standard on things such as jobs, friendships, and adventurous travels. (1749)

...the women's role in the household. (8397)

Driving, income, and directions. (6787)

Household chores and fixing things around the house. (2060)

…physical strength and financial success. (8616)

providing. Men still want to be the sole providers for their wives and families, which, even though I, personally, want to be a career woman, I think that is extremely admirable and sexy. (2451)

#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

17. Generally focus on less than women. (7071)

17. … Shares in common with the female sex. [3546]

…needs to work on, but so do women. I think it can be found equally in both sexes.(0941)

Has and it is a good thing definitely. Men are possessive and (as long as it does not lead to physical or verbal abuse) it is definitely a turn on. 4108

17. should work on. (6819)

Takes seriously. 2106

Should not get to crazy on because someone who is extremely possessive is a major turn off…usually a sign of insecurity 4747

Generally focus on less than women. (7071)

… demonstrates when they are not the only ones involved. (3593)

should never partake in

-has when their woman is getting hit on. (5688)

1. Shows in women and money.(5696)

needs to chill out about. (3341)

…and the same sex can sometimes take to an extreme. (5412)

….has when other men are involved. (6791) #17 …needs to control. Just because we want to see other friends, that doesn’t mean that we don’t like you or value you any less. (0614)

has a problem with. 7080

…is said to have a problem with, but I have actually never seen this or had any problems with it in dating experiences. (8148)

is largely seen among men who are insecure and weak (3129).

sometimes has a problem with and sometimes is okay with. (8611)

contains on a large or small scale based on their level of self confidence with themselves and what they have experienced in the past. (5834) …Generally lacks more than a female. (8521)

Holds very strongly over women. (1749)

and same sex may have a problem with and shows a lot of insecurity (8397)

Is capable of. Not all men are outwardly possessive, but possessiveness goes hand-in-hand with security and the need to control. (6787) Usually has a problem controlling when another man poses a threat. (2060)

…need to stop because that itself becomes one of the biggest issues. (8616)

suffers from (2451)

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

18. Focuses on this primarily, and it takes them a long time, if ever, to realize that there is more to a person than physical attributes. (7071)

18. … Has a very desirable body structure. [3546]

…usually places it as their first criteria for which girls they are going to pursue.(0941)

Cares about it a lot. Men definitely have a huge focus on a woman’s physicality. 4108

Tends to think with their “other head” 2106

Usually makes this the main focus because they like walking around with eye candy 4747

Focuses on this primarily, and it takes them a long time, if ever, to realize that there is more to a person than physical attributes. (7071)

18. holds it as highly important. it’s a deciding factor for whether they like a girl or not. (6819)

… bases their like or dislike of the person off of it (3593)

should meet all other criteria before this (5981)

-bases way too much off of looks. (5688)

1. Base everything off of it.(5696)

can be very attractive, especially when they are confident about it. (3341)

#18 …places a great deal of emphasis on this trait. (0614)

…seems to be pickier and shallower than females. (5412)

…can gain a woman's attention at first, but hold it by demonstrating a good personality and good self-confidence. (6791). places this very high on their list of priorities. (0419) is very attractive.-5513

ause they’re hot they can get anyone (2407)

is lucky, because they do not have to live up to as many socially acceptable beauty standards. 7080

…put too much weight into when looking at women, which sucks for the majority of women who aren’t super models or who don’t look like them. (8148)

members who possess a great amount of this trait (and few other qualities) are more likely to "players" who are full of themselves (3129).

can sometimes care way too much about. (8611)

aims to be a ‘maucho man’ and have this oversized body which can be seen as a sign for other men to keep away in order to prove that they could defend their girl against them if need be. (5834)

…Has it more difficult because they can't use make-up to enhance and/or cover up their flaws. (8521)

Does well (mostly) to keep in shape and present a physically strong and attractive body type. However, they often lack on hygiene aspects as well as presentation. (1749)

put too much emphasis on this aspect of women and will never not stare at an attractive female walking by. (8397)

Mostly cares about what his girlfriend looks like to show off to his friends and other people. (6787) Places a huge importance on in their partner. (2060)

…can be very superficial, only approaching women who they think are attractive and disrespecting those they think are not. (8616)

becomes putty in our hands. When a man finds a woman to be attractive there is not much the man won’t do to please that woman, at least initially. (2451)

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

19. Focus on to impress people. (7071)

19. … Usually need to achieve on a higher level in order to make themselves more desirable to women. [3546]

…try to obtain because they adamantly believe that those are the only things women really care about.(0941)

Wants less in a partner than physicality. I don’t think men value money and status in a woman as much as they do the way they look. 4108

Either does or does not care about, depending on the person. 2106

Are always working towards achieving 4747

19. Focus on to impress people. (7071)

… care most about (3593)

Don't necessarily need to possess (5981)

-strive for. (5688)

1. Achieve to get women to like them or interested in them. (5696)

  1. 19 …are always trying to gain. (0614)

thinks about too much. (3341)

…care about just as much as a female with similar values.(5412)

...think is more important to most women than it actually is. (6791).

cares a lot about. (0419)

value. 7080

…worry about too much in terms of their personal attractiveness. It doesn’t matter your status or how much money you have if you are a good person. (8148)

can allow to distract them from more important goals/aspects of life (3129).

sometimes does and sometimes doesn't care about. (8611)

value very highly, the norm stereotype is that males are in charge of taking care of females therefore what attracts females generally is that sense of security that money and glamor can provide them therefore it’s very important for males to have money and status. (5834)

19. thinks defines them. (6819) …Are highly concerned about. (8521)

Value highly. (1749)

strive for in life because they think it is a big turn on for women and will help them out greatly in their future. (8397)

Usually cares about and focuses on more than the woman. (6787) Thinks is very important to obtain. (2060)

…stress most about because they think that is what they should be succeeding in. (8616)

tend to find more important in life than women do. (2451)

#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

20. Get my hopes up for no reason at all. (7071)

20. … Underestimates my ability to do certain things or make certain decisions, because of my gender. Also, when they expect certain things, because of my gender. [3546]

Doesn’t like me enough to date me. I get attention from men, but it ends at the physical attraction. Men want me physically, but no one wants to actually spend time with me and get to know me. 4108

Shows no respect for your feelings. 2106

…looks at me as if I am inferior simply because I am a woman.(0941)

Is extremely critical and hurtful

Get my hopes up for no reason at all. (7071) … is dishonest.(3593)

-does not back up their words with their actions. (5688)

don't try to relate to where you're coming from (5981)

1. Agrees with me when I say I look like crap.(5696)

takes advantage of women for sexual purposes. (3341)

…ignores me. (6791). …does not listen or try to understand a females emotions or thoughts. (5412)

acts like they don’t care (0419)

#20 …thinks emotions can be taken lightly. They are not as simple to control and ignore as they would like to think. (0614)

show no interest in getting to know me, when I am interested in getting to know them. -5513

20. Does not try to understand my point of view (0023).

thinks I want space because I am crying. 7080

…lies or makes jokes about cheating in relationships/being with other women. (8148)

acts in ways that make me want to give up hope for us to cooperate, instead pushing me to consider becoming a nun or ending up the crazy cat lady (3129).

doesn't explain themselves properly. (8611)

cheats, is dishonest, or is using you for all the wrong things without taking your emotions into consideration. (5834)

…Is self-centered and untrustworthy. (8521)

Objectifies women for sexual desires. (1749)

20. plays games. (6819)

talks down to women and objectifies them. (8397)

Rejects me because I'm not "popular" enough. (6787) Doesn’t give a girl a chance just because she is not perfect in physical appearance. (2060)

…lies and you know they are lying. (8616)

is insensitive to a woman's feelings (2451)