Spring, 2011 Female Comments
- 1 Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework
- 2 Comments by Women
Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework
Comments by Women
HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Next class session. WORTH 10 POINTS
This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) to write your paper.
You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.
Your paper should be between about 2 to 5 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.
Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.
Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.
Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)
There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.
In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions. You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.
Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.
When you are finished with your paper, save and print it. Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/,
Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)
Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.
Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Women" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Women's Comments page.
RESPONSES FROM THE SPRING, 2011 CLASS:
#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling
Yes, I was shocked to hear that one of my guy friends really liked me and told me while he was drunk, and the next morning said that he said it because he was drunk and is the only time he could be honest about it. I think that men always use alcohol as a confidence and ego booster because it is true how men tend to always say things they would have never said if they weren’t drunk due to their pride. (3593)
I was on a date once with a guy who refused to allow me to pay for some of the date. I usually don’t offer to help pay on a date unless it is an extremely expensive evening, which this most definitely could have been classified as. He took me to a nice dinner in Santa Monica where we ate sushi and ordered wine. After the meal I was contemplating on offering to help, but I decided that since he chose the restaurant he must have been planning on spending a lot anyways. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the evening. We continued the date by walking to the pier where we went on three rides and bought cotton candy, accumulating a fortune of costs and expenses. I had never met this young man before a few days ago, so I was worried that he was trying to impress me with his spending habits. When I insisted that I at least pitch in for our escapades on the pier, he declined me, a bit perturbed. I don’t understand why men can be so stubborn, especially when it comes to money and paying for activities. While I did appreciate his generosity, I also felt a bit like a gold-digger trying to see how much I could get him to pay for. Men can be very stubborn at times as well as protective over their mates while courting. I feel as though his actions were meant to make me feel well taken care of while on the date, which in the end is definitely an attractive quality in a man. (5678)
I would say some smooth sexually things to him in order for him to know what exactly I am talking about. For example, If we went to the movies I would but my leg on his lap, or maybe lay my head on his lap throughout the entire movie. Then, he would have a better idea of what I wanted from him.
1. What I find puzzling about the male sex is not necessarily their inability to read female emotions and moods, but their inability to understand the female emotions and moods. When upset with the male, the female often thoroughly explains why she is upset in a logical manner, however this explanation often tends to have no affect on future actions of the male gender. These conversations more often than not result in the male simply responding with an “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” But there seems to be no real comprehension on the male part of why the female is so upset. Men either do not listen to the explanation, do not care to understand what the other is attempting to say, or actually just doesn’t understand. This has always puzzled me because when explaining the situation to others, usually women, they completely understand my frustration and my reasoning for my anger. But it seems men simply do not understand the thought processes of women. Although men respond with an apology, it is clear they do not really understand, even after twenty minutes of back and forth conversation. 9057
1. One of the most deeply puzzling and incomprehensible situation that I have experienced with the opposite sex was when I discussed the topic of marriage with a bunch of guys. I found that overall, when I held marriage and matrimony as a sacred bond between a man and a woman in love, all of the men in the group expressed a type of scorn for marriage and said that it was not necessary to be tied down to the same woman for life. As the conversation developed, the men expressed that they did not see the point of having to be chained to a single lady when they could very well be single and enjoy many women during the course of their lifetimes and that this way they wouldn’t have to miss out on so much. I think that this goes along with the idea that men do not have to invest as much in a family as a woman does and in the idea that men would be at an evolutionary advantage if they go around impregnating as many woman as possible as opposed to being with only one woman that can only get pregnant so many time.(5696)
1). A situation that left me puzzled about the opposite sex occurred a few years ago during a conversation I was having with my older brother. At the time, a family friend had been arrested—after only having two glasses of wine—for his second DUI, resulting in repercussions that would dramatically change his life. I was speaking to my brother about how worried I was for our family friend and his family, how having to do time either in jail or in a halfway house would change his family dynamic and how having his license taken away for a year would make it extremely difficult for him to get to and from work, pick up his kids from school, and even go to the grocery store. A fraction of his liberties would be taken away for an entire year. While I discussed my utmost worry and concern, my brother simply shrugged and said he would be fine; everyone and everything would be fine. My brother didn’t seem to either acknowledge or care that this man’s unfortunate circumstance would affect more than himself. My brother’s emotions remained neutral, while mine were going haywire; his motivations for helping the family or showing condolence absent, while mine were about to peak. The difference between the male and female emotional and cognitive responses to situations baffles me (5412).
1. I think the most puzzling thing is that men say women never say what they mean. If I elude something I try to make it extremely clear, I do not want the other person to misunderstand me. Men on the other hand say a lot of things that they do not truly mean. For example nowadays guys complain that girls do not ask them out, why is it always the guy that has to ask? Yet when a girl actually asks a guy out them usually get intimidated. Same thing with paying for dinner, they do not want to pay but if a girl pays it all they again get intimidated. Sexual issues are the top of the list: men want women to be more frivolous, yet when looking for a serious relationship they want a woman that had as few sexual partners as possible. This issue is extremely puzzling to me and it seems sex specific.-0655
#1 I stopped talking to one of my best friends because he began dating someone else and I had strong feelings for him and decided it would be best to not be around him anymore. I told him this and he agreed that he thought it was best even though he still wanted to be friends. Eventually, he asked me to be friends again even though they were still dating because he thought I wouldn’t feel the same about him anymore because I hadn’t seen him in a few months. What confuses me is how he thought feelings like love can just go away, and why he would be selfish enough to try and have both of us even though he knew it would hurt me. Why does he need both of us around? (0614)
Several of my past boyfriends have been very controlling and untrusting, even though I did nothing to make myself unworthy of their trust. It was puzzling to me as to why they found it so hard to trust girls in general, especially around other guys. Both ex’s told me separately that they did not think guys and girls could be just friends, and for that reason they didn’t like me even just hanging out with other males. I did not agree with this point of view and have had many male friends in my life who I have had no sexual relationship with. What was especially puzzling was that my ex’s did not hold this same standard to themselves. Both thought that it was acceptable for them to hang out with other girls as friends, however when I did the same they assumed something unfaithful was going on, when it most definitely wasn’t. I was unsure whether my ex’s felt that I was untrustworthy or that the other males were the ones to be worried about. (3341)
1. One thing that always surprises and sometimes confuses me about guys is their ability to be aroused. Don’t get me wrong, I love intimacy, but sometimes the time and place that a man wants to have sex completely catches me off guard and even leaves me asking “What the hell?” It makes me stop and think, when a guy is initiating intimacy, “Is he into me right now, or is he just generally horny?” (6791)
My group of guy friends at home has a tendency to talk about vulgar and inappropriate things when girls are presents. I don’t know if it is their way of showing off to the other guys, or they just don’t care about who is listening, but I never could understand why they thought it was ok to degrade women or talk about disgusting things when girls are around. I understand it could be “guy talk” but it always comes up when our friends are hanging out. There is a significant presence of “alpha male” in our group, and it could be the guys’ way of getting attention. (0419)
I drive a stick shift mustang, and whenever guys get into my car they are practically drooling. They are baffled that I can drive stick shift and they moan when I get in the high RPMs. I have never had one girl get in my car and moan to the sounds my car created, yet I cannot count the number the male passengers that do so. I do not understand how a girl driving stick is so impressive first of all. There is one extra petal, and your arm has to shift in an “H” pattern. With a day of practice and a good teacher, I feel an average person can master the stick shift. I also do not understand how the sound a car makes can be so amazing, that one has to moan about it. -5513
1. The most puzzling situations I have faced regarding the opposite sex mostly deal with issues of jealousy. I have dated guys before who would become upset and continually text or call me the whole night when I had other plans with friends or even family. It seemed like they were trying to keep tabs on me to make sure I wasn’t having a good time without them or spending time with other men. Furthermore, my friend’s boyfriend acts in a similar manner. If he can’t convince her not to go, he texts her the whole night and at times where she does not respond right away, he becomes very upset, to the point where he calls her crude names. I don’t understand why men don’t want their girlfriends/wives to have a life outside of the relationship and why a woman would be considered needy, controlling, and annoying if she behaved in a similar manner (0023).
1. One of my past boyfriends was very jealous. He became jealous once when I had plans (that I told him about) to hang out with two of my best guy friends. It was puzzling not only because I was open about my plans, but also because we had been dating for 7 months and I had never done anything to even make him question my motives. He told me that I was not allowed to spend time with them anymore, or else he would break up with me. We got into the biggest fight over this because I had been honest and loyal to him and he was trying to control me. I do not understand why guys think they are in charge of their relationships, that they can make the decisions for two people. If I had done the same thing to him, he would have told me I was irrational and crazy, yet he thought it was perfectly okay for him to act possessively. (3259)
A puzzling thing that happened recently was after dating a guy for a month he randomly stopped talking to me out of nowhere. Then six months later, after ignoring be and being only cordial and polite at social functions in which we both attended he randomly began talking to me. He would send me text messages, be the first to text, but would not engage in a conversation that exceeded simple phrases such as “hi” or “how are you?” He would never proceed to comment on anything I said and would rely on me to provide topics of conversation. I found this to be puzzling, why begin a conversation multiple times but not fully engage in it or make any attempt to keep the conversation going? He avoided putting himself in a vulnerable position, as many men do. Men do not like to be placed in a vulnerable position, thus they make an attempt to talk but not try to carry the conversation at the risk of being rejected. (3842)
1.I met a guy at a party recently and we started to hit it off really quickly. He was easy to talk to and seemed truly interested in what I was saying. It was kind of a shock because it was the first time that I was able to talk to a guy at a party and actually get to know him. What was also surprising was that he wasn’t trying to hook up with me. We were standing a good distance from each other and just laughing. Before I left I gave him my number and right away he texted me. He texted, “Not having as much fun as when you were here”. This kind of put me off because I wasn’t insinuating anything sexual with him. I think sometimes guys read girls that are being nice to them as wanting to hook up or something when actually; the girl is trying to get to know him. (2407)
1. One of my guy friends one weekend invited me to a party he was having at his house. He offered to pick me up at my apartment before and said we’d figure out how I’d get home later on. So we got to his house and were hanging out with all of our friends. The night went on and it was a good time. Both of us were intoxicated so I called around and saw which of my friends could pick me up to go home since my guy friend was not able to drive me home. I called around and none of my roommates could get me so I called one of my best guy friends to come and get me. I told my other guy friend that my friend was coming to get me. And then he was like- oh no…lets just walk back since I cant drive you. But since I did not want to walk super far in the cold I told him it was fine since I had a sober ride. About a week goes by after that night and I have not heard from my guy friend after his house party. I thought it was really bizarre because we speak every day. I decided to text him but he failed to respond. About a month goes by and we see each other at my friend’s house and we exchange hellos- but that was it. I then tried to think about what he could possibly be mad at me for…and I was drawing a blank. I then found out (since he told one of my roommates) that he was mad at me for having my friend pick me up at his house and since my friend picking me up was a guy. Even though the guy picking me up is one of my good friends and my friend decided to drink too much which caused him to not be able to drive me home. So I wasn’t at fault. This whole situation was just so weird because I didn’t do anything wrong and my friend decided to just stop talking to me instead of expressing his feelings. I think that is a function of that person’s gender because guys have a more difficult time expressing their feelings compared to girls. (5282)
There have been many situations in which males have puzzled me but one that often comes to mind is how emotionally controlled or suggestively inept they are to feelings. In my experiences, guys have shown a tendency to act as the tough guy and that they can withstand all things that involve a deeper emotion. Last spring, I was in a relationship with a guy and whenever problems arose between us, it was as though I were talking to a robot. He could not express how he felt especially if how he felt made him vulnerable. He would act as though nothing bothered him. It was so frustrating and it made me wonder if this was a reflection of his gender. Did he feel as though he needed to be immune to feelings and sensitivity because that made him a guy? Because in the eyes of a girl that made him an asshole. (5826).
1. A certain behavior that I find to be incomprehensible in the opposite sex is their competitive character. I believe that this could have a lot to do with a male’s dominate nature, but sometimes their competitiveness and unwillingness to back down can be extremely unnerving. Sometimes when I happen to get into a tiff with a male friend, I would often find myself trying hard to keep things civil. He would be the more louder, more heated one of the two of us, constantly dominating the conversation. I would often have to remind him to allow me a chance to speak. He will often remain staunch about his position even as his arguments begin to sound irrational and he begins to lose foothold. There’s something about a male’s dominant and competitive nature that prevents him from surrendering even as his arguments begin to lose credibility and sound ridiculous. (0097)
#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different. I like how the opposite sex is protective when necessary, they’re practical, and physically strong. I dislike the fact that they always tell you what you want to hear and expect something in return. Also, they never want to commit to just one woman and expect women to just be okay with having one night stands. Another dislike it that they are very prideful and can never ask for anything or admit when they are wrong.(3593)
1. I do not like men when they are sick. There is a general understanding in the class that men are strong, but I think women are stronger. I think women can take more stress and go through harder things in general, yet men get the title “strong.” It only takes a little cold for many men to lie on their back like a turtle: totally helpless. I do like, however, how straight men are in everyday life. Maybe not in an intimate relationship, but as friends men are very easy and uncomplicated to be with. In a group of men there is no intrigue hidden somewhere to watch out for.-0655
Things I like about the opposite sex include a variety things. First and foremost, something I appreciate in the opposite sex includes their protective nature; men like to take charge of dangerous situations and it’ highly important that I feel safe and trusting of a man. Men also tend to be very handy, and manage to always know how to fix things (even if you have to ask them several times). Men tend to be low maintenance; they don’t read too much into things and allow the drama level to remain at a minimum (again, most guys). I appreciate the male physique, which is typically built larger than the female frame. Men are more calm and collected in emotional situations and balance me out. Things I don’t like about men is that they can be overbearing, highly jealous, and sometimes too laid back and not proactive enough. Men also have a difficult time making commitments to things. Men can also be less emotionally and mentally mature than females, which makes it very difficult to find someone on the same level as oneself. (5981)
2). Although generalizations, I like that men seem to have a more direct form of communication than women, that they are bigger and more protective in nature, and that they are usually not as dramatic as many women can be. I dislike that men seem to not be as perceptive, either in interpreting body language or catching subtle hints. I also don’t like that men seem to have higher levels of aggression and are more likely to resort to violence when angry or frustrated (5412).
#2 I like that they try to take care of the people they are close to. They have a sense of drive and determination in their careers. They are protective, but this can lead to possessiveness. Men can completely miss emotional cues when having a conversation. They just seem to be clueless when talking about feelings. (0614)
What I like about men is their desire to make the woman happy. When a guy truly cares about a girl it is clear, not necessarily through their words, but through their actions. When a man cares, he calls more, does more for the girl in the sense of simple tasks (cleans his room before a girl comes over, makes sure that he has toilet paper-sounds ridiculous but all the girls know what I am talking about!), and makes more of an effort to spend time with the girl. What I dislike about the male sex is their inability to recognize the nice things a girl does for him. The little things that women do for men, like buy them lotion when they are almost out, make that mix CD that they’ve mentioned several times, these things often go unnoticed. Where the male does give thanks and acknowledges the action, there is no connection made between the action and the reasoning behind the action. The woman does sweet nothings for the man because she cares, not just because she is a nice person in general. 9057
I like that men can be very strong and helpful in certain situations that involve moving things or putting things together. I also like that they have a good sense of direction and usually know how to get places. Men also can become very nervous around women, which I find very cute. I don’t like how men can often be very controlling or pompus. Men usually think that their way is the right way, and that women are inferior in regards to intelligence. (5678)
1. In general, I like the fact that men are protective about their family and are better able to physically protect his women and children than a woman is. However, by the same coin, what I absolutely cannot stand about the opposite sex is that they get very aggressive to the point that they potentially put themselves and their families in harm’s way. An example of this can be when a man gets so angry about a man complimenting his woman that he gets into a fight in which he gets badly injured.(5696)
I like that men are strong, both physically and emotionally. This means that they are able to protect me if I am in danger, can open up jars and other items, and can carry heavy suitcases and bags that are difficult for me to carry. They are also able keep it together in stressful or sad situations – more so than women. This emotional strength contributes to their ability to make decisions quickly and rationally. Additionally, I like that men don’t dwell on insignificant problems the way women do. Even when they fight with friends, the conflict doesn’t generally get drawn out and grudges aren’t usually kept within groups of men. I also like that men don’t have to try as hard as women in order to look good.The emotional strength that men display can also be a negative trait. This is because many men do not understand the complex emotions that come along with certain situations and may as a result seem uncaring or cold. Another thing I dislike about men is the hegemonic masculinity that our culture glorifies. Society views men as aggressive, which can lead to violence and prejudice against others. As an example, some men are homophobic because a homosexual male doesn’t comply with the masculine ideal that men were raised into. I don’t like when men use violence as a means of action or when they hunt for creatures that are less powerful in order to make themselves feel strong. (3341)
2. One thing I really like about guys is their instinct to take control in certain situations. While I certainly can take care of myself and strongly support women being able to handle things on their own, there is something about the way a guy takes initiative such as fixing things or defending you against someone who has wronged you. In a similar way that guys appreciate the sensitive, nurturing nature of women, I appreciate their initiative. Something I don't enjoy about guys, ironically in a similar vein, is how apathetic they can be towards more day-to-day things, such as cleaning, grocery shopping, and other household tasks. It's not like women thrive on it either, but we know it has to be done. They definitely benefit from and enjoy a clean house and a stocked refrigerator, but something about guys just doesn't make them care enough to do it themselves. (6791) I like how guys feel the need to take care of girls and protect us. Feminists hate this, but I appreciate it when a guy opens doors, pays for dates, and carries your bags. I think of it as a sign of respect. I don’t like how guys go with the flow so much and forget to plan ahead. (0419)
In general, I like how males are strong. Not only does their strength come in handy with fixing things (i.e. cars) and carrying items (i.e. heavy boxes), but it also makes me feel more secure. I feel safer when I am with someone of strength, because I know he can protect me. I also like how guys do not “beat around the bush” when trying to make a point. They say what they need to say in a direct manner. I do not like how men tend to get angrier and more aggressive than woman. Since men tend to be stronger and tend to have a shorter fuse than woman, their fighting (amongst themselves or with women) can be dangerous and scary. (Unfortunately, I have seen a lot guy on guy fights, and it is the biggest turnoff for a girl to watch someone she cares about fight.) -5513
2. I like that the opposite sex can be very helpful when it comes to putting things together or moving heavy items. They can be very protective and strong, much more low-maintenance, and direct in their communication style (0023).
2. I like that men are straight forward, particularly when they encounter problems with people of their own sex. The ways in which men and women fight and retaliate within their own sex is completely different. Whereas women are passive and manipulative in the ways that they fight with one another, which can drag feuds out for years, I like that men get straight to the point. Often, men will tell another man to their face that they have a problem; they will not be friendly to an individual to their face and then talk badly about them behind their back, which is often what women do. Even when men get into physical altercations, they move on right after the fact and even appear friendly with the person they were just fighting. All of these things make for a much more drama-free lifestyle than women have. I do not like the fact that men are not as empathetic as women; although I think this is only problematic in their interactions with women. Male lack of empathy has posed a problem in many of my own relationships with boyfriends and friends that are guys because even though I am aware that men approach empathetic situations differently than women, this is easy to forget and it feels as though they do not care about they things I am trying to discuss with them. (3259)
I like how guys are strong and automatically provide a sense of security. They have a protective nature that allows you to feel safe. I dislike how they do not like being vulnerable. They tend to have a wall up so they do not express their emotions as freely as women do. (3842)
2.I like a guy who is confident in who he is. A guy that can hold a conversation and has a sense of humor. I dislike when guys are shallow or only pay attention when it’s with something they’re interested in. (2407).
1. I2. I like how guys are generally more relaxed, straightforward, handy-men, strong, don’t hold grudges, they’re nice to look at, and have bold personalities. I don’t like how guys have a more difficult time expressing their thoughts and feelings. They sometimes can be too relaxed about situations and show a disinterest. Also, I don’t like how they will make numerous plans on the same time with different people and forget. (5282)
At times, it seems as though guys exhibit very simplistic thinking which can be very frustrating because they will not think about how their actions affect others and will do careless things such give the shirt you just gave them for their birthday to their best friend saying stripes look better on them. However, there is a plus side to this simplicity and it was drives girls’ crazy into their nighttime sleep and that is overanalysis. Girls overanalyze every text from a guy, every sentence, every hug, every hand gesture and it gets so tiring that sometimes I envy the simplistic perspective that guys hold. I would love to just have the ability to let situations be and detach myself from them but ignorance is not always bliss when conflicts are not resolved and deeper thinking is needed. (5826)
1. A characteristic I certainly appreciate in the opposite sex is their protective nature. A guy generally would not hesitate to defend for someone or something they cared deeply for, be it their partner, family or friends. Their protective nature definitely offers a sense of security for many females who tend to seek that in males. I also sometimes enjoy their firm attitude, which allows them to take control and direction of a situation. It gives me the idea that they have strong sense of everything that’s going on around them. One thing I don’t like about males is their sometimes too overbearing and dominant attitude. Sometimes I would like to have my opinions and ideas valued as well. Another thing I don’t appreciate is their strong sex drive. (0097)
#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex? The opposite sex misunderstands the fact that they think we have the same mentality as them, which creates conflict.(3593)
1. PMS. A male doctor must have invented it. There is no research supporting the notion that all women, once a month become like a banshee, screaming for no reason, crying and chugging down three months’ worth of chocolate. Yes there are some women that do have problems in their cycle and there are some that crave chocolate a couple of days before their period. That does not mean all women have it or that it makes it ok to use it against women in a fight. It is like the secret weapon men have against women. What can you possible answer to: you are just PMSing? The problem is usually something wrong that the man has done to get her angry and tries to blame it on the mythical PMS. -0655
One thing that the males most misunderstand about females is that they don’t have the same desires as them; whether it be in relation to sex or the ability to openly discuss bodily functions/things that are characteristic of being HUMAN. (5981)
1. One thing that the opposite sex misunderstands the most about females is that we are very sensitive beings and that details matter very much to us. For example, when a woman does something as simple as buy a new perfume, do her nails, or get her hair done, she is doing it so that her husband can be left in woo. However, when the man of her life fails to notice or compliment her on her primping, he has failed to pay attention to the minute details that meant the world to her. Such is also the case when a man forgets his wife’s birthday or his wedding anniversary.(5696)
One thing that the male sex misunderstands about the female sex is the way in which females communicate. Females place a heavy emphasis on verbal communication. Verbal communication is necessary in a relationship with a man because, as women we always like to know what is going on in the other’s brain. So why not talk about it? Women rely on verbal communication in order build and strengthen relationships whereas men tend to rely on physical activities such as sports to build relationships. 9057
3). I think a vast majority of males misunderstand how terrible PMS really is. Mood swings, cramps, body aches…there is nothing fun about PMS. A girl’s hormones go crazy sometimes and she literally cannot help if she is moody. Hormones are biological and cannot be consciously controlled. All she can do is suppress an emotion, which in the end will just make her feel worse and even less fun to be around. I don’t think men understand that PMS is a valid excuse for being in a bad mood (5412).
#3 Men don’t understand that women want to be taken care of but not contained. Just as they desire freedom we do too. Women don’t want to be suppressed rather they want to be supported. (0614)
Men don’t understand why women are so emotional. They often don’t recognize small emotional cues in speech or facial movements that women are much more prone to seeing. They cannot comprehend why we dwell on problems, such as issues with friends or plans for the future. Women are more prone to worry and think of every possible outcome of a situation before they act. Men are more prone to action before thinking about the consequences. Men view women’s emotional responses as weakness, and thus to act in an opposite way in order to feel strong. (3341)
3. I think that guys misunderstand a woman's need to deliberate over a decision before it is made. While it seems that men make a decision rather quickly and stick to it, women like to mull it over and think of many possible scenarios regarding that decision. Guys seem to think it excessive and indecisive, and while I believe there is something positive to be said about following your instincts right off the bat and sticking to them, I also think there is importance in deliberating over a decision. While there are exceptions to every case, often times we are just being thorough and because we know what we like, we want to make sure our decision truly best fits our desires. (6791) Women are not that complicated. Men always use the excuse that they don’t understand women, but really men just need to understand that women like nice, caring, partners who are willing to be there for them no matter what. I feel like men don’t understand women just want someone to care for them. (0419)
One thing men have hard time understanding about women is that they do not choose to be emotional; emotions are uncontrollable. When I get upset or cry, I feel as if men are judging me to be weaker and somewhat pathetic. Guys will try to comfort a girl and chuckle and say, “babe it’s okay.” I feel the little chuckle they tend to do is unnecessary. When I get really excited or happy, I feel as if men look at me as someone who needs to take her excitement down a notch or two. However, if I would win a free ipad, I would not be able to control my body from jumping up and down and clapping my hands together. -5513
3. I think the biggest thing that men misunderstand about women is believing that we are extremely emotional and sensitive, and as a result, weaker than their own sex. If I ever voice any concerns about the relationship or even life in general, most men seem to believe that I am being dramatic or criticizing/nagging them in some way (0023).
3. Men most misunderstand that not all women have extreme cases of PMS. All men fear talk of menstruation and interaction with women ‘because they are on their period,’ but the fact of the matter is that I know many women who are not overly emotional, sensitive, and crazy during their time of the month. Men would be surprised how hard it is to tell when many women are on their period because they do not act any differently than the rest of the month. That is not to say that no women have bad cases of PMS because obviously, that idea that women are irrational during their time of the month came from somewhere. However, some women are minimally affected if not at all. (3259)
Men misunderstand how women are not as driven by sex, but more inclined to look for the connection between two people and how they are compatible. Women look more for a companion rather than a sleeping partner. (3842)
3. I think that guys misunderstand the difference between flirting and just being nice. Sometimes a girls’ friendly gesture can be misunderstood as ‘Oh I think she’s really into me!’ (2407)
1. 3. That they need to give us space and handle our emotions when we’re PMS-ing. They need understand that we can’t eat the food that they do and not get fat. They also need to be able to pay attention to our emotions. (5282)
Girls care a lot and probably way too much for their health. They care about whether you’re happy, whether you’re going to win your game tonight, whether your best friend has a good birthday and most importantly, whether you are happy with them. This may at times be mistaken as emotional which at times can be however, the majority of the time girls just want to love you and you to love them. So, if your girlfriend, lover, chick person or hook-up asks you a million times what you’re thinking, it’s because she just wants to know that you care too. (5826)
1. I think one thing males fail to understand about females is their emotional nature. Females tend to engage in activities dealing more with feelings and emotions. When a female argues or speaks, she tends to do so with her heart, she argues more with emotions than with logic. Males should be more aware of the fact that it’s not that females are illogical, but it’s that emotions and feelings are more important to her. Another thing males tend to misunderstand is a lot of non-verbal communication that females send out. Males tend to overlook these important signals due to their general lack of attention. (0097)
#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.? The first thing that attracts me to a man are their eyes. After that, personality is the main and most important thing to me. I am very attracted to a person who is funny and can be light hearted, and can hold a good conversation with me. I am very attracted to a man who can dance.(3593)
1. I think it was his warm smile and confidence. He was acting very warmly towards me which flattered me as we have known each other long but not seen each other for a long time. I had started doubting that he still had warm feelings towards me but he did. He was very interested and stood close to me. He smiled a lot and he has a beautiful smile. I was also very attracted to him because he had grown up to be a very good looking guy. I think his warm demeanor and the closeness were the most important factors.-0655
The characteristics that attracted me to my latest love conquest were his good hygiene and his way of carrying himself. That is, one of the things that easily disqualify a man in my books is if he smells bad, looks bad, or is just plain nasty. So for a man to be clean, have fresh breath, and not have musty underarms is a must to me. Also, when a man has self-confidence, it demonstrates to me that this man is sure of himself and about where he is going in life. It makes me think that this man is a man with a plan and that he wouldn’t be the type to waste my precious time with BS. (5696)
1. I find that I am most immediately attracted to a man that is physically attractive, but also confident. His appearance is put together. He takes care of his physical body and he clearly thought about his attire. His speech is grammatically correct. Confidence in the initial approach of a man is huge, however overconfidence and forcefulness can work against a man if he is not physically put together. An initial attraction is largely based on physical appearance. 9057
4). At first sight, I am highly attracted to a guy with a charming smile. I am usually attracted to men that are taller than me, genuine, confident but not arrogant, and motivated. The most important factor is personality; if a guy is disrespectful, pompous, or obnoxious, I don’t care if he’s the most gorgeous guy in the world/ I want nothing to do with him (5412).
#4 It was the fact that he took a lot of time to get to know me. He kept wanting to see me and talk to me. His looks factored in slightly, but his affection towards me was what made the attraction last. In a way, his pursuit of me showed that he valued me and set me apart. He was never overbearing but instead he showed genuine interest in me and genuinely enjoyed my company. (0614)
I have found myself to be attracted to men who display physical strength, athleticism, and who are muscular. It makes me feel safe to be with a man who is stronger and bigger than I am. In addition to physical attributes, I also put a huge emphasis on the intelligence of a man, whether they seem like they will be successful later in life based on their performance in school and work. This is important because of the cultural idea of men as the “breadwinner”. It is also important because men who are intelligent often have a good sense of humor, which I find to be extremely crucial in a successful relationship. Men shouldn’t take themselves too seriously. Another form of intelligence is important for me when it comes to men – emotional intelligence. I have dated many men who are not in touch with their feelings at all, and have had few bad experiences with such people. So, I have recently become more attracted to men that have high emotional intelligence. I like guys who aren’t afraid to cry or tell me when they are sad, and who can recognize and understand my own emotional responses as well. As an example, my current boyfriend cried with me all the time before and after my mom died as a way of supporting me. He was able to understand why I seemed detached or depressed at times and could recognize feelings within me that I did not even know I had. (3341)
4. I think the characteristics that cause me to find a man attractive are his personality and self-confidence. While physical appearance is often what causes a woman to look in the first place, how he carries himself and how he behaves is much more important and can ultimately determine whether that physical appearance holds up or not. If he has poor behavior, his physical appearance often isn't very attractive anymore. (6791)
I find it attractive when someone makes eye contact. When someone looks me in the eye, it shows me that they actually care about what I’m saying. A guy who is athletic and strong always is attractive to me. They are necessarily the center of attention, but someone who isn’t afraid to talk to new people is important. A person whose body language shows me that they are comfortable with themselves and with other people is attractive. (0419)
Although being physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex is important to me, it is a man’s personality and the way he carries himself I find attract me the most to him. I like when a man is very open and outgoing. I like him to speak his mind, because then I feel that he will not hold anything from me in the future. I also like him to walk with his head up high and display confidence. Once I have been drawn in by his personality and confidence, I like for him to have nice teeth and dazzling eyes. -5513
4. The characteristic I find most attractive is personality. While looks may influence initial attraction, I think that intelligence, kindness, and sense of humor really draw me to a certain person. Looks and social status play much less of a role in my decision to date someone (0023).
4. The most important factor that attracts me is self-confidence. Self-confidence is not to be confused, however, with being overly confident or conceited. I have been most attracted to guys when they are sure of themselves; they know who they are, what they like, are aware of their presence in a room, and are able to hold a conversation. Once men cross the line of being overly sure of themselves, they come across as ‘cocky,’ which is not attractive. (3259)
What attracted me most was their self-confidence. It takes a lot for a guy to approach a girl, so when a guy is able to do so, it is attractive. Seeing that he is taking a risk despite the chance of rejection is attractive. (3842)
4.I think the characteristics that attract me the most to guys is physical appearance, humor, whether they’re respectful, intelligence, driven and self- confidence. I think the most important factor to me is drive. I’m not attracted to guys that don’t care about their life or don’t have a passion for something. I think it makes them look lazy and if they’re not passionate about something, then how are they going to be passionate with me? (2407)
4. When I was attracted to that person it happened in a series of steps. First off, I was physically attracted to them because it was the first thing that I was aware of. Then I was attracted to their personality- more specifically their sense of humor. He was good looking and hilarious- total selling point. Other characteristics that attracted me were his confidence and flirty-ness towards me. (5282)
When I think back to my initial attractions to males, the first thing that comes to mind as to my gravitation is the self-confidence that they exhibit. I remember going on a date with a guy and him being so humorous and confident about what he was talking about even though thinking back on it, some of things he was involved in were not smart for his academic or personal future. I seem to find that yes, I am attracted to the physically attractive guys but they are a dime a dozen and what separates these guys is their self-confidence. It’s sort of a manly, alpha dog persona that is attractive, not arrogance. (5826)
1. An appealing characteristic that I’m always trying to seek out in the opposite sex is their intelligence and strong drive, whether or not they’re motivated to make something of themselves. I cannot find anything more irritating than someone who has no direction or goals in life, or someone who does not care to succeed. Other characteristics I find appealing are whether or not he is genuine, and can be supportive. Physical appearance also matters but definitely does not supersede his personality and character. (0097)
#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex? Some strengths of men are that they are rational, able to decipher between emotions and what is logical, and hold the role of the provider. They are also very persistent when they see something they truly want, they are go getters. Their weaknesses are that they don’t listen, they can be brutally honest, too competitive, and don’t do well with failure or rejection.(3593)
Strengths of the opposite sex include the ability to keep it cool; they tend to have the ability to hide when things bother them (though this may be considered a weakness in certain situations if it hinders their ability to accomplish what they want). Men are also physically stronger, which gives them the upper hand in certain situations. Weaknesses include an inability to communicate effectively. While men may know what they need or want, they don’t necessarily always know HOW to get what they want. Men have trouble verbally communicating in a direct, precise manner that conveys exactly what they’re looking for. (5981)
1. The strengths of men are that they are physically strong, not as sensitive as females are, they get over emotional distress or social altercations fairly easily, and they are very handy with cars, plumbing, etc… The weaknesses that men have seem to be the exact same characteristics as their strengths are but to a different degree. When a man is not sensitive as a woman is, it seems nearly impossible to speak to the guy and communicate your feelings to him. A man can be so inconsiderate and such a jerk. When a man gets over emotional distress or social altercations with their buddies so easily, it sets them up to be the victim of fake friendships.(5696)
1. I think men are weaker mentally than women so that would be their weakness. Their strength would be their confidence. Most men seem to have a build in confidence better than most women. Their protective traits are also a strength.-0655
1. A strength of men is there ability and desire to fix things. Men have this innate desire to fix something if it is broken. Rather than pay someone else to fix it, men would like to figure out the ins and outs of the object and learn how to work it so they can fix it. One weakness of men is their inability to plan ahead. Although men often know they need something, lotion or dish soap perhaps, men will run out before going to buy some more. Compare this to women who tend to notice when products are running low and while at the store will buy more so there is never a time when there is an absence of that product. 9057
5). Male strengths include: having a knack for building and fixing things (cars, appliances, sheds, you name it), being stronger than women, not having the tendency to over-think things as much as females do. Male weaknesses include: not expressing their emotions as often or clearly as females, having a higher tendency to resort to violence when frustrated or angry, and not being as perceptive to little details as women (5412).
#5 Men are resourceful and straight-forward when they address problems. They rarely beat around the bush when it comes to asking for what they want. They are likely to get the job done quickly and efficiently. Men are protective and wish to take care of loved ones. However, men have anger issues and can be very possessive. They can’t communicate their feelings very well and are not that intuitive. (0614)
The strengths of men are also sometimes their weaknesses. As I mentioned earlier, emotional strength can be a good thing in that it helps to create simple solutions to problems. At the same time, emotional strength means that men are out of touch with themselves and their own emotions. Their seemingly aloof response to stressors can create repressed feelings that may later come out in the form of violence or anger. Men often refuse to seek help from professionals, especially for psychological issues. I have found that when men are more in touch with their feelings, they are less likely to resort to physical acts of violence as a way of dealing with personal issues. As an example, an ex boyfriend of mine had a horrible relationship with his father from a young age. Instead of talking about how much his father hurt him as a way of coping with the abuse, he refused to acknowledge it. He would later get extremely angry over something insignificant but tangible. The anger he was feeling was often rooted in memories from his childhood that had been kept inside and needed a way to be expressed. (3341)
5. As I mentioned before, I enjoy men's ability to take initiative and tackle a situation without much deliberation or beating around the bush. Another strength to me is their humor; I find men to be much funnier than women. Weaknesses, I believe, is their insensitivity in some matters. They scientifically are less perceptive to emotion and mood than women are, and I find this to be a weak point. (6791)
Strengths: ambition, competitive, loyalty to friends Weaknesses: listens, but doesn’t hear, doesn’t understand when things are a big deal and when they’re not, sometimes hides real feelings because they don’t want to not seem like a “man”. (0419)
I feel a strength of the opposite sex is their ability to look confident. I feel that men walk with their heads up more than women, and also do not slump their shoulders as much as women do. Looking confident does not necessarily mean feeling confident, but when looking confident one is more attractive. I feel a weakness of the opposite sex is their inability to nurture like a mother can. I have never been comforted by a man the way my mom, sister, or friends that are girls have. I feel that women are born with the natural instincts to care for and support someone who is upset. Women have “motherly instincts,” which are to almost “baby” someone, whereas men have “fatherly instincts,” which are to toughen someone up. -5513
5. Their strengths include being direct communicators and being better able to disguise their emotions in tough situations. Weaknesses include a lack of empathy or inability to see another’s viewpoint, jealousy, and being overly competitive and territorial (0023).
5. Some strengths of the opposite sex are that they are protective over those people that they love, they are loyal to their friends. One of their weaknesses is that they are testosterone filled, making them aggressive. No girlfriend or friend of a guy wants to see them fighting with other guys. In addition, male aggression can be scary for girls who are around when guys become angry.(3259)
In my opinion, a man’s strength is also his weakness. A man’s strength lies in his ability to not let his emotions get in the way. For example, when men fight they do not carry on the argument for extended periods of time, rather they settle it at that moment. Their weakness also lies in their inability to express their emotions. Men are not a sensitive as women and find it harder to express how they feel. (3842)
5. The strengths of the opposite sex include: self-confidence, protectiveness, emotional strength, and pride. The weakness of the opposite sex include: jealousy, don’t express their emotions clearly, and short temper. (2407)
1. 5, The strengths of guys are that they are more relaxed and don’t let their emotions over come them. Guys are more straightforward and have the ability to hangout with several groups of people. The weaknesses of guys are that they don’t have the ability to fully vocalize their feelings and hold their emotions in. Another weakness is that males can attach and detach themselves to females easily. One second they can be head over heels then the next be totally over it. One of their major weaknesses is that they cant express their feelings. (5282)
In my opinion, guys exhibit a sense of protection and assurance. They act as though it is their role to ensure that everything will be okay even when the world is falling apart. They try to act as your rock, your protector even if the situation affects them in a negative manner as well. At the same time, that this is a strength this can also be a weakness and detract from real conversations. (5826)
1. Some strengths would include their decisiveness and quickness in taking control and handling a situation. Men are generally more direct about things. If there were something that needs to be said, they’d say it regardless of whom it might offend. I prefer it if someone was upfront about things, direct to the point. A weakness that I’d point out is their lack of attention to certain cues. Males need to be more attentive to details especially non-verbal signals, which are essential to successful communication. (0097)
#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened. . Yes, I was dating a man who lied to me about who he was and what he has done completely, and when I found out and confronted him about it, he was unable to defend himself and therefore got angry and called me a bitch! (3593)
Unfortunately, there have been several situations in which I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I have a tendency to be overly accommodating and forgiving and guys seem to know how to take advantage of that. I have been in several relationships where men have lead me to believe that I am extremely important to them, only to hear a couple months later that they don’t want a commitment. This is after I have poured immense amounts of my time and emotional energy, only for it to be unreciprocated and forgotten. I have been flaked on, had to pay the dinner bill, kept waiting, and literally abandoned (at gas station when the guy I was dating got a flat tire..he assumed I could get a ride, even though we were 30 minutes from where I lived). He didn’t think twice about the fact that I was a woman alone, in an unfamiliar place. (5981)
6). No blatant instances of being treated unfairly by the opposite sex come to mind (5412).
1. I cannot remember a certain instance, but I know that it has happened a couple of times that some guy has been extremely unfair and being prejudice because of my sex. There are a lot of stereotypes, or things girls generally do that I don’t. Yet I am sometimes treated as a moody spoiled girl because I am a girl.-0655
1. When I was younger, I sought to attend tai-qwan-do classes in which I was the only female attending. However, I soon noticed that the guys in the class seemed to treat me a little bit tougher than they treated each other and that they made so many inappropriate sexually discriminating comments such as “oh, you are not going to be able to that move because of your boobs” or “Don’t worry, I won’t be as tough on you because you are JUST a girl.” It was horrible and I hated the class.(5696)
#6 …honestly, no moments come to mind of a man treating me unfairly just because I’m a woman. (0614)
1. Yes, I can think of many instances where I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I remember one specific instance in middle school during gym time we were playing flag football. I was on a team with all males and during the course of the game, I was rarely given the ball or included in game plans. Granted I did not have an understanding of the game as the guys did, but their behavior towards me forced me to not be active about my position on the team. So as a result, they were treating me as if I was of no use, and I felt as if I was of no use. Throughout the game, I was continuously thinking of when it was going to be over. 9057
My first boyfriend back in high school treated me very unfairly. After 6 month of dating, he became mentally and emotionally abusive, and took advantage of my naivety when it came to relationships. He wanted to control me, and succeeded by isolating me from friends and family through the creation of conflicts. He would often point out flaws and would make me feel like he was the only person who could possibly care about me. Once, he date raped me and tried to tell me it wasn’t rape because he was my boyfriend. I tried many times to get out of the relationship, but he always found a way to trick me into being with him again by playing on my insecurities. Finally, college came as an easy out and I purposely chose a school as far away from his choice as I could in order to escape. The saddest part is, while he was so obsessed with controlling and monitoring everything I did and who I did it with, he was also going behind my back and cheating on me during our entire relationship. I didn’t find out the full scope of his lies until after we broke up. (3341)
6. My brother looks down on female sports as boring. This wasn’t specifically a dig against me because I am not a professional female athlete, but as a woman, I still of course felt like he was speaking about ‘my kind’ when saying female sports are generally less interesting. The way he said it was definitely in a 'women just aren't as good in that way' manner. While I find it difficult to disagree, it still was something that women inherently can’t change and because of the nature of that argument, I felt it unfair. (6791)
At work a male co-worker harassed me. It wasn’t a traumatizing experience, I just felt uncomfortable when he would flirt with me and hug me for too long during work. One time he kissed me in the storage room and I felt like I had no control over the situation and he was taking advantage of me. It felt unfair and I didn’t realize it was bad until later. (0419)
I was on a hike with a boyfriend and we got into a huge fight. We were only about 20 minutes into the hike when the fight occurred, and he decided to head back to the car without me. He was the one who drove to the mountains, so he turned around and walked to his car and drove off stranding me on the side of the road. I had my cell phone, so I walked until I got service and called a friend to pick me up. -5513
6. Situations where I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex were mostly because they believed I was inadequate simply due to my sex. I think a lot of times men are quick to believe women are unknowledgeable at certain things, especially more “masculine” subjects such as sports or cars. In addition, growing up my parents allowed my brother to stay out later, start dating at a younger age, and get away with a lot more than I was ever able to (0023).
6. There was an instance at work once when I went to get a box from the storage room. The box was not too large and was filled with facial cleanser; it was visibly not heavy. A male co-worker followed me to the back room and sarcastically said, “let me do that, I don’t want you to hurt yourself or worse… break a nail” Although the gesture would have been thoughtful had I been lifting something that I could not manage, it was pretty obvious that I did not need help with this box. In any case, however, way that he said it was offensive and implied that he doubted that I was strong enough because I was a girl and that breaking a nail would be the worst thing in the world. I think he was trying to be funny but it made me angry. (3259)
I was once dating a guy and he wouldn't respect my opinion about certain matters. Whenever I would provide my opinion he would shut me down and tell me I was stupid. (3842)
6.I don’t think I’ve had an instance where I was treated unfairly, but I once had a situation with a guy who I think knew that I liked him and thought he was cute so he took advantage of that. He knew I had a soft spot for him so he would ask me if he could copy my homework or ask about how I did on my test. (2407)
6. When I was out looking for cars to buy our car salesmen was talking down to me from the second he walked up to me. He was trying to sell me a car that was not worth the value of the car. Guys just assume that girls don’t know a lot about cars therefore try to talk down to females whenever it comes to cars. (5282)
I have worked at many jobs since I’ve been in High School and especially while I have been here at LMU. One instance in particular was at my first internship which surprisingly was dominated by men. At first I loved my internship, I was assigned new tasks and talked to a bunch of business representations but then I began to notice that I was treated differently than the other male employees. I was assigned the same tasks and never challenged like the other employees. I was never allowed to be responsible for anything important unless another male employee was assigned to work with me. With the benefit of the doubt, I thought maybe it was just because I was new to the company but that’s when I noticed that male employees hired after me were chosen and not me. The day finally came when I was referred to as ‘girl’ and that’s when I realized that I was being viewed as inferior because I was a girl and they were guys. It was needless to say frustrating. (5826)
1. I’ve often been manipulated by my ex. There would be times when we both know for a fact that he’s in the wrong. He would always try to manipulate the conversation and my feelings to make me appear like the bad guy. Even though there would be things that I’d like to point out his wrongs and ask for his apology, I find myself feeling as though maybe I have been too critical and that I should be the one apologizing. (0097)
#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened. There have been many instances in which men have opened the door for me just because I am a woman, and have lent me their hand when getting our of the car or going up and down stairs when wearing heels.(3593)
I have been luck enough to date a few decent guys that value the company of a woman and DON’T take it for granted. My last boyfriend was very reciprocative and always went a little above and beyond what I asked of him. Anytime I needed to fix, assemble, or set something up he always took care of it for me. He was extremely patient with me and always waited for me or kept me company when I needed to run errands. If I cooked him dinner, he would make a gourmet three course meal. It is extremely important for a guy to reciprocate or even go the extra mile in order to make a girl feel special. (5981)
1. One particular instance in which a man treated me very nicely was when a man on a bus that was overflowed with people got up off his seat to give me his seat. I thought it was very seat and my feet greatly appreciated it.(5696)
1. It would be when I went to Poland. Men kissed my hand, opened doors for me, assisted me when I was walking in snow and helped me carry my travel bags into the train. It was quite nice. I believe that women do things like this too, in a relationship in a caregiving way. Too bad this behavior is about to die. It seems like a very nice tradeoff: Men open doors and assist women in heavy lifting, women bake a cake or scratch men’s backs or leave them a cute note to find.-0655
7). Guys I am dating usually treat me very well, and I strongly believe it’s because of traditional views about how a guy should treat a girl. They hold doors open for me, take me out on dates, pay for dinner or dates (even when I offer to split or pay), stand up for me if someone is treating me with disrespect, etc.(5412).
#7 …a few times a man has offered his seat to me or offer to carry heavy bags or suitcases. But that’s about it (0614)
1. Yes, however of course these instances I do not remember as clearly. I remember one instance while at my boyfriend’s house where his roommate suggested we make some food. So his roommate, Nick, and I took the imitative to make food. While in the kitchen I was treated fairly. 9057
I have been treated well by the opposite sex simply because of my gender very often. One example I can clearly think of is when I am out on the weekends with girlfriends. We are often approached at bars by men who offer to buy us drinks simply because we are a bunch of attractive females out together. Also, when we go out shopping, security guards and store clerks will be very friendly and will try and make conversation or help us out a bunch just to get the chance to talk to girls.(3341)
7. I think there are many cases in which men treat women very well simply based on the fact that they are a woman. For example, a couple weeks ago I was on vacation and had been separated from my friends. A guy approached me, seeing I looked upset, and told me everything was going to be okay and that we would get me where I needed to be. He was extremely kind about the entire situation, and didn't expect (or at least ask for) anything in return. He helped me find my friends, and I highly doubt he would have approached another guy in a similar situation. (6791) I was moving out of my dorm freshman year and I had 4 really heavy suitcases to carry down 3 flights of stairs. A guy who I didn’t know very well came to my room to say goodbye and with out asking he carried all of my stuff down to the car. I felt really special and it made me think about what a great guy he was for helping with my things. (0419)
This weekend I had a dinner party and then a larger party after. I had a lot of dishes in the sink from the dinner party and I was planning on leaving them there until the morning. After about twenty people were at my house, I could not stand to leave the dirty dishes in the sink. (I cannot stand messes.) I went to my kitchen and started washing them, and then a guy I had just met that night offered to do my dishes for me, even though he didn’t even eat. I insisted that wash them, but he refused to let me do so. He told me to go entertain my guests and have a good time. -5513
7. Situations where I have been given better treatment due to my sex deal mostly with getting free things, such as drinks, dinner, or admission into a bar/club while the men had to pay or wait in line for much longer. Furthermore, men usually hold the door open for me or offer to give me their coat if it’s cold (0023).
7. There was a time a few friends (all guys) and I encountered a group of guys who were confrontational and looking for trouble. We were at a fast food restaurant and a stranger aggressively and inappropriately hit on me before any of my friends had sat down with me at the booth. One of my friends walked over and told him to leave me alone. After that all five of my friends positioned themselves so that I was in the middle of the booth, away from the walkway and fully surrounded. Even though the guy who had hit on me was sitting at a table just across the room, I felt protected by my guy friends. (3259)
In the beginning of last year when I was moving into my dorm, a guy I knew saw that me and my mom were by ourselves unloading a refrigerator and heavy luggage out of my car. He just came up and offered to help. Even though we said we were fine and able to do it ourselves, it was nice that he came and offered when he saw us. (3842)
7.One night I was out in the city drinking with a few of my friends and it was getting late and I wanted to go home. I was going around my friends telling them that I was going to leave and my guy friend decided that he didn’t want me to walk alone to the taxi line so he walked with me. He waited till I got into a cab safely and texted me when I was on my way home and when I got home to make sure I was safe. (2407)
7. At my work, the restaurant down stairs always gives me free entrees whenever I’m hungry- just because of my gender. I know that it is because of my gender because all of my other co-workers do not receive free food- and those co-workers are male. If I weren’t a female I highly doubt I would receive the free dinners and lunches. (5282)
I have to say that being a girl does have its perks in terms of special treatment when going out and talking to other people. Guys will normally pay for your drinks and offer to pay for your transportation home. They will get up if you do not have a seat to sit down. They will offer you their coat whether or not it is sunny or raining outside. They will run to get napkins for you if you spill something on that silk dress. All of this special treatment from guys is not because you can shoot a three pointer better than their frat buddy or because you have the chipotle app on your iphone, it is simply because you are a girl. (5826)
1. Due to my sex, I think some males will tend to go out on a limb to do things for me. For instance, a couple of my male friends would almost always offer to drive around whether it’s to take me places or to pick me up. If I’m late for school, he drops me off and parks my car. (0097)
#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way? There was this one time when I really liked one of my guy friends and he supposedly liked me back according to friends. I told him that I liked him and he said I like you too, but I just got out of a relationship and I am not ready to start dating again. Which was nice of him to say, but about a month later he had a new girlfriend. His behavior was considerate, but I would have rather heard the truth and not be confused by the fact that he was pursuing me in the beginning and then once I liked him back he did not want anything.(3593)
1. I have been rejected many times by the opposite sex. Unfortunately it was always rude or inconsiderate. It either happened over the phone or they just started ignoring me. Rejecting someone or breaking up with someone needs to be done in person. The rejected person needs to be the one to choose if they want you to know or not that they are in pain. -0655
The most atrocious thing a guy has ever done to me occurred about a year ago with a guy who I thought I could trust and rely on. I had planned a really nice day for us to spend together; I drove us around to everywhere we went and was extremely patient with him, even when he did things that would have drove any other girl crazy. We got back his apartment and I started to have a migraine headache. I didn’t want him to touch or kiss me and I just wanted to sleep it off. I asked if we could go and get dinner, thinking it might make me feel better to eat. We went to eat dinner, he insisted on paying and when we returned home I still felt sick. I went back to sleep and got woken up at 3 in the morning and was kicked out of his apartment because I refused to sleep with him. I was accused of being a typical, lying, deceitful girl who used bate and switch to get him to buy me dinner. He had an expectation that buying me dinner meant sex and when I didn’t fulfill his expectations, I was kicked out and forced to drive home for 45 minutes in the middle of the night with a blinding headache. He could have simply let me sleep and never called me again, rather than forcing me into a dangerous situation. I felt unsafe being in his house after the way he reacted (he used physical dominance), and I was forced me to leave. (5981)
1. There was a guy who had persistently bugged me to be his girlfriend for over 3 months so I decided to finally say yes. A month later, I stopped hearing from him, he stopped receiving my calls and he stopped coming around in what seemed out of the blue. When I finally got a hold of him after five days of being left in the darkness, he informed me that had gotten back with his ex-girlfriend. He was not only inconsiderate, and rude, but also very insensitive and disgusting. I disliked him so much and hated the fact that he could not be man enough to tell me in my face what was going on at the moment it happened instead of running scared and going M-I-A on me. The most considerate way of handling this situation I think, would have been to let me know what was going from the beginning or to simply leave me the hell alone when I rejected him during the first three months of me knowing him. What a PIG! (5696)
I cannot remember any instances where I’ve been rejected by someone I found attractive, but that is because as a female, tend not to approach males. However if I did in fact approach men I found attractive on a regular basis I am sure I would be rejected on several occasions. 9057
8). I usually don’t make a move unless I can tell that the guy is at least a little bit into me. Therefore, I can’t think of a time when I have been rejected. (5412).
- 8 …the same friend in Question 1 told me that even though we were best friends, he had more of a connection with this other girl. He told me he never seemed ready to have a relationship with me. It was honest, maybe a little insensitive, but it wasn’t anything I could change. (0614)
I can only think of one time in which someone of the opposite sex rejected me and it was not in a straightforward way. I had a huge crush on a guy freshman year of college and was seriously obsessed with the idea of being with him because he was gorgeous and incredibly smart. We hung out plenty of times and he seemed really into me. Finally, one of his best friends that was also a good friend of mine told me that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. We continued to hang out and be flirty but I kept that comment in the back of my mind. A couple weeks later, this friend also told me that the guy had hooked up with another girl at a party the night before. The guy himself couldn’t tell me he wasn’t interested, only his friend would.(3341)
8. I was talking to a guy for several months but he didn't live locally, so most of our conversations had to be over the phone. Everything seemed to be going well, and one of the times he came to town we went out and had a good time. Because of his business he had to leave town the next night, and after he left, our communication stopped pretty fast. It wasn't the first time he had come to visit, so I didn't understand what about that time made him over it. I thought it was extremely rude because he gave no explanation, and it was clearly his choice to end the relationship. I felt inadequate, and took it very personally. I still don't know what happened, and I think he could have done it in a much better way simply by explaining why he was done. He could make up a fake reason for all I care, just give one. The fact that he didn't made me feel very hurt and like I wasn't even worth the time. (6791)
I went on a few dates with a guy and I thought things were going great. He was a great listener and I had a lot of fun with him. After a few days he called me to meet up to tell me he wanted to be friends. He was really nice about it and even though I didn’t understand his reasoning, we left things on good terms. Later that night I started realizing the rejection and how lonely I felt after opening up to him and then getting turned away. I wasn’t too torn up about it, but my mind still went through the rollercoaster of “what’s wrong with me?”, “what did I say wrong?”, “what could he have not liked about me?” (0419)
I was attracted to this guy, but also was having the hardest time making time to hang out with him when. I have a really busy schedule, and I feel that some people think that I make up excuses when I am really doing things that need to be done. I was going to be less busy after Thanksgiving break, because I decided to quit a job; I planned on hanging out with this guy then. I got back from Thanksgiving break, and saw this guy at a party and went up and talked to him. Within fifteen seconds he said he had to make an important call and that he would find me in a little. I didn’t see him the rest of the night, and never heard from him since. I feel this behavior was inconsiderate. If he didn’t want to talk or hangout with me, he could have explained that he tried to all before Thanksgiving break and that I never looked like I tried to put in any effort. This made me feel sad that I lost the opportunity to really get to know this guy, but also mad that I got no personal explanation. -5513
8. The most inconsiderate way I was ever broken up with was when a guy I was dating stopped all forms of communication with me. We have several mutual friends, so I still see him once in a while and he always tries to avoid me, unless he wants to hook up. We only dated for a little over a month, so I wasn’t really fazed by it, but I still think it was extremely rude and inconsiderate. It would have been much better if he simply told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious and wanted to just be friends (0023).
8. A time that I was rejected by a member of the opposite sex was when an old boyfriend broke up with me by sending me a text message. Men send short sentenced texts to begin with, which is frustrating, so receiving a rejection text was infuriating. It was upsetting that closure for me would have meant a long conversation, while closure for him meant a one sentence text. This act was rude and very inconsiderate and I think anyone of my sex would feel the same way. A more considerate way to go about breaking up with someone is always telling them to their face that you are unhappy with the relationship and why this is so. I think that would have been much more respectable. (3259)
There was a guy who I was consistently talking to and seeing everyday for two weeks. After talking every day, I invited him as my date to a social event. The day after this event he stopped talking to me completely and ignored me. I thought this was rude an insensitive. It made me feel disposable that he could just easily forget about the time we spent together and move on to the next one so quickly without warning or explanation. A more considerate way would have been to be polite and end things on a good note by saying that they didn’t see it going anywhere. (3842)
8. One time I was at a party and I saw a really cute looking guy. He was kind of on his own and I wanted to dance with him. I couldn’t muster up my courage to ask him to dance with me until my friend told me to just do it because what’s the worst that could happen. Well I finally went up to him and asked him to dance. We danced for a bit but then I noticed that he was starting to move back. He didn’t even say bye or anything. He simply left and avoided me throughout the whole night. (2407)
8. When I was younger I had the biggest crush on my older brother’s best friend. I tried to tell him how I felt. He rejected me by saying that he looked at me as a sister and that he was too old for me. It was super polite of him and wasn’t even awkward. His behavior was very considerate and polite and wasn’t rude at all. He handled the situation unlike any other guy. (5282)
My first rejection was the hardest and was the most ridiculous because it happened to me multiple times. Let me explain. I had been dating this guy for awhile before he invited me to go on a serious date with him. He bought me a plant to show (similar to a love fern) his affection towards me, took me to very nice restaurants and bought me flowers only to dump me before winter break saying he needed to “focus on himself”. Being understanding, I wasn’t mad only upset for what happened. Surprisingly, he was “ready” to date again a month after we had taken a break. Everything resumed to normal again and it was as if nothing ever happened but two weeks before Valentine’s Day, he sent me a facebook message saying we could not date because he overestimated how much he can handle and there is just too much “stuff” going on right now for him to commit. So Valentine-less and by myself, I was rejected in the most vague, inconsiderate, rude and insensitive way ever. Not only did he resume a relationship with me again only to break it off, but he made me feel worthless for even believing that people can change and will think of others and not just themselves in a relationship. This guy just as it seems with other guys did not know what he wanted, relationship, hook-up, whatever and tried to figure that out at the expense of my feelings which was immature and stupid. The higher route would have been to remain inactive until personal ambitions and desires were sorted out and no one’s feelings got hurt. (5826)
1. I’ve been with my first boyfriend for seven years, and throughout the seven years I’ve toiled to keep that relationship together. For some reason or another, perhaps our relationship did not mean much to him, but he would hardly put in an effort to maintain the relationship. Things would, or so I thought, appear to fine, and then out of nowhere he would propose to break up with me and take time off. Each time I’m left to wonder what I had done wrong, and thing perhaps I need to change myself, maybe I shouldn’t have argued with him, maybe I should have just let him have his way. But I realized that no matter what I did for him, I was just not perfect enough for him. (0097)
Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.
How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:
#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go? In order to influence the person, I would be flirty in a touchy way, like pushing his arm and laughing when he tells a joke, and moving closer to him while sitting to give him the idea of putting his arm around me. Also, while walking I would touch his hand every once in awhile in a subtle way like when hands accidentally hit each other.(3593)
1. I would try to get closer to him. Sit closer if it is possible, If that does not do anything maybe put my hand very close to his so that he could be the one to decide if we should hold hands or not. I think I would be more flirtatious to encourage him, maybe show more skin but moving my hair. If I felt the date was ending I would propose we go do something else so that the date would be prolonged.-0655
In a situation where I know that the guy is interested and is too shy to become physically intimate in any way, I would make subtle physical advances. This may include wearing clothing that is slightly more revealing, sitting and walking closer, putting my hand on his arm, shoulder, etc. whenever possible, or simply being the first one to initiate an advance. If I’ve been dating a person for a month, and the guy hasn’t made any physical advances...there probably won’t be another date. (5981)
1. In order to influence this person to become physically intimate with me and go as far sexually as I wanted to go, I would start touching him a little more and bringing my body closer to him. For example, if were at the movies, I’d intentionally try to touch his hand a little bit every time we would go for the popcorn and act like was an accident. Or I would pat him on the shoulder if he made a funny joke. I would do anything to touch him a little bit while still making it seem innocent and completely by accident. =) (5696)
9). I would make him feel more physically intimate by increasing physical contact, whether by touching his arm while speaking to him, or by wrapping my arm around his or holding his hand while walking. I can usually read body language pretty well and would interpret his reaction to my increase in physical contact, then act accordingly. (5412).
1. I would begin to do some verbal flirting. This means I would suggest things using metaphorical language. I would also force the physical contact to happen. For instance, if I wanted him to hold my hand I would make a point to place my hand near his while walking to see if he brushes it and hopefully grabs it. Any other physical constant I would also send strong signals by physically moving myself closer. However I would still not make the actual physical first move, but would send strong signals that it is okay that he makes that first move. 9057
#9 …I’d ask him what he wants to do after the date and ask him over to my place. I feel like that would be enough of an invitation. (0614)
I would find an indirect way of touching them, such as by grabbing their arm to get their attention or handing them something and having our hands touch very briefly. I would also make a point of trying to look extremely attractive, especially around the mouth area in order to get them to want to kiss me. So, I would definitely make sure to wear lots of lip-gloss and probably a low cut top since boys are so into boobs.(3341)
9. As a woman, I would never initiate the first move physically. I would be as suggestive as I could without being slutty, but I would do typical suggestive things like playing with my hair, touching his arm when I say something, making flirty facial expressions, etc. But as far as I'm concerned, if he wants to touch you, he will. In the rare case that he wants to but is too shy, that isn't the type of guy I am interested in-- self-confidence is key to me. (6791) I don’t think girls should make the first move, but in this situation I would use body language to try and show how I am feeling. Be touchy feely, flirty, and aggressive with my body. But, if I’m not getting any signs in return, then it’s not worth it. A guy should be able to read when a girl wants to be physically intimate
If I was on a date that was going well and I was physically attracted to the person, but there was a lack of physical intimacy, I would give him clues that I was sexually attracted to him. For example, I would find a way to touch his hand, or rub on his leg. I would get closer to his face, giving him the opportunity to kiss me. -5513
9. I would try to become more flirtatious without being too forward: lean in closer when he is speaking, find a reason to brush his arm or knee, eye contact (0023).
9. In a situations in which a date was going well and I wanted to become physically intimate, I would probably try to subtly signal this to them. I might sit closer to them or choose an activity in which we had to be naturally closer and alone in order to give the opportunity a chance to arise. Passively creating a situation in which the intimacy can happen ‘in the moment’ is the best way to influence the other person. I would probably not be comfortable directly initiating intimacy or making the first move, with any guy.(3259)
I would not initiate the first move, I would just continue flirting with him so he knows that I am interested. (3842)
9.I would probably try holding his hand while we were walking or cuddle towards his chest. If I feel like he’s comfortable with me then I would kiss him, but I wouldn’t go as far as having sex with him. (2407)
9. If we had no physical contact yet and we had been dating- I would then, after the date make a move to kiss him because it would have gone on for too long. Maybe he was too nervous to make the move so why shouldn’t I? A lot of girls want to wait for the guy to make a move but if you want something physical to happen then you should make a move. (5282)
I would not make the first move because I would not want to come off as aggressive plus, if a guy cannot read that I want to hold their hand or that they should kiss my face, then the whole situation that is going on at this date is pointless. I would of course, try to become more clear about how physically attracted I was to them by flirting, playfully touching their arm, leaning into the conversation, smiling, and laughing. Those things are pretty obvious though, that if a guy cannot read those signs, then it’s goodbye. (5826)
1. I would try to initiate things by being a little more physically interactive. For instance, I would increase physical contact with him in terms of touching or brushing up against his arm or knee. I would perhaps lean into him while we’re speaking, try to be as interested and as engaging as possible. (0097)
#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual? . I would find ways to distract him by going to places with a lot to do and losing him every one in awhile to show that we don’t need to always be close and I don’t want to be close.(3593)
1. I would try to let him down easy. If I did not want to see him again I would try to end the date as soon as possible and to try and stay further from him so that he cannot initiate any physical contact. I would try to avoid him subtly not to hurt his pride. If I wanted to stay friends with him I would give it a shot to talk to him and see if he still wants to see me if I am not interested in him in that way.-0655
I don’t believe in playing games, and would simply make it known that I am not interested in being anything more than friends. I would probably follow through with this by spending time apart for a while until I know that his feelings for me have diminished. (5981)
1. If I did not want a man to touch me or try to achieve physical intimacy, I would not only tell him what was on my mind but I would also have the backup plan of acting like I am not feeling well… like I am coming down with the flu or something and that it is not safe to come close to me.(5696)
10). If I would avoid physical contact and would actively make sure that I wasn’t making flirtatious gestures that might lead him on. If he tries to make a move, then I would probably be up front with him by telling him that I really enjoy spending time with him but don’t really think the physical connection is there (or something of the sort). (5412)
1. I would avoid consistent eye contact as well as purposely distance myself from him. If he leaned into my area I would find a way to recreate the original distance that was previously there. If conversation was directed towards physical contact I would change the topic, so as not to make him believe that physical contact was going to happen. 9057
#10 …I would be very honest with this man and tell him I have no interest in becoming physical anytime soon. No matter how he persisted, I would still turn him down. If he got too aggressive I would no longer date him. I find it’s more successful to tell a man something in a straight-forward manner for a situation like this than to try to influence him to do what you want. (0614)
I would make sure to avoid any skin-on-skin contact, even just standing too close to one another. I would also avoid eye contact as many men might see excessive eye contact as a good sign. I would pull up my shirt or wear something less revealing and would talk about official things like school and work over personal matters like favorite foods or places.(3341)
10. While on the date, I would make an excuse as to why I couldn't end the night with that person, or maybe just play coy and reject him advances not in a mean way but as a "not-right-now" kind of way. I would tell him at another time that I wasn't interested in him in that way, maybe the next day. (6791) I would do the opposite of the last situation. I would sit far away, not make as much eye contact, and not create as many opportunities for physically intimacy to occur. If he made a move, I would have to explain that I didn’t feel the same way. It’s easier said than done, but it’s best to be honest and upfront about how you feel. (0419)
If I was on a date that was going well, but I was not physically attracted to the person, I would give him clues about my feelings. I would not laugh as much at his jokes, and I would naturally smile less. I could mention that I had something else to do after the date, like meet up with friends or even homework. (One time I said that I had laundry to do because I was leaving for a trip, and the guy suggested that I did it at his place and we could watch a movie. Then I added that I needed to do homework while the laundry was washing.) -5513
10. I would probably be upfront about what I want from the relationship, saying that we are moving too fast and I am not ready for physical intimacy or say that I just wanted to friends. However, if I did not care that much about him I would probably just come up with an excuse to leave (0023).
10. In a situation in which I am not physically attracted to the individual but can tell that they are interested in me, I would probably do my best to distance myself from them or influence them to avoid becoming sexual through body language. I would not do anything like hold their hand or sit close to them. If they were still not getting the message I would most likely just end the date as quickly as possible, I would not lead a guy on that I was not physically attracted to or interested in getting to know in hopes of a relationship. (3259)
I would drop hints that I was not physically interested or that I was not interested in being involved with any guy at the moment. If he made any advances I would just tell him straightforwardly that I am currently not looking to being involved with anyone. (3842)
10.Well usually if I’m not physically attracted to a person and don’t want anything further, I first avoid any future dates. I don’t get touchy with the person or wear anything that would make him think that I’m sexually interested. (2407)
10. I would try to make it known that I only feel for them a friendship. I would also try mentioning guys I am interested in to make him recognize that those are only things that I would discuss with friends only- not potential boyfriends. (5282)
I’d use the word buddy, friend, chipper and maybe buck. I feel that that lays the foundation for that word friendship that all guys hate. Recently, I actually went on one of these dates but an extreme case in which even the friend drop with a frequency of every five sentences did not seed the hint. So, I started talking about how intimidating my brothers are, about how my dad hates when I date people, about my demanding schedule and how I liked things in a particular way when I work and study. This still did not work so I then turned to the bathroom rescue. I called my friend and said the boy was crazy and that she needed to call me with that gerbil emergency that has a tendency to happen on Friday nights and within minutes of resuming to that fabulous dinner conversation I was rescued by my pussycat dolls ringtone. Of course, this was an extreme case, very extreme. In normal circumstances, I found an easier route to this sexual desire discrepancy that can go on-just say I’m not really up to it if that’s okay. It’s very easy and simple and it gets your point across. Then you should figure out if you really want to be with this person since you’ve been dating them for a month and you have yet the desire to be physically intimate with them. (5826)
1. I like to be really upfront with what I have to say. If I don’t feel sexually attracted to someone, but that person thinks otherwise, I would tell him as it is. I actually would feel very uncomfortable in such a situation, and the only way I would be able to relieve that awkwardness of the situation was just to tell him as it is even if it may not be something he wants to hear. (0097)
For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.
#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when... … they see you talking to another man or when another man seems to be attracted to the girl. Also, it is when they feel threatened by another man due to their status or physical appearance.(3593)
I have fun without them (5981)
1. I acknowledge another man’s compliments such as a simple “you like very nice today” or “I love your perfume! It smells delicious…”. (5696)
you hang out with members of the opposite sex without that person there. (3341)
…I have multiple male friends or am friendly with other males. (5412)
…you two are dating and another guy flirts with you, regardless of whether you show any interest back. (6791) girls dress more revealing to show off for other guys. (0419)
#11 …women don’t give them enough attention. (0614) … their girlfriend still hangs out with her ex-boyfriend. -5513 11. You are having fun without them or spending time with guy friends (0023).
11. Their girlfriend spends more time with another guy than them. (3259)
They see you flirting with another guy. (3842)
11.They see someone they have been sexually involved with or emotionally involved with talking to another guy. (2407)
1. …If they are unsure of themselves.-0655
11. Another guy is talking to me one-on-one. (5282)
you have guy friends. It’s as though they feel threatened when another guy hangs out with you, makes you laugh and studies with you. Girls are allowed to be friends with guys and just because you hang out with a guy does not mean you like them. There is a reason they are dating you and not their biology study buddy. (5826)
1. I talk to or about other males. (0097)
#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex... . … tends to waste no time and goes straight for the kill.(3593)
1. …Often does it too early.-0655
Usually makes the first moe (5981)
…usually just goes until a female tells him to stop. (5412).
12.) …usually does the initiating.
1. Tries to achieve eye contact and then achieve physical contact of some sort that entails physical intimacy such as holding your hand or playing with your hair.(5696)
can be pretty sleazy (3341)
- 12 …is fairly forward. (0614)
….should almost always take control. (6791) is aggressive and sometimes overwhelming. (0419) becomes more touchy. (For example, holding my hand) -5513
12. Should make the first move (0023).
12. Makes the first move. Guys hit on girls and initiate these kinds of situations quickly and are more assertive than girls are.(3259)
is more aggressive. (3842)
12.Should make the first move. (2407)
12. Usually makes the first move if they have the confidence. (5282)
needs to make the first move because literally those strawberry lipbalm covered lips are not going to move an inch to your face unless you make the move. (5826)
1. Try to understand how I’m feeling about the situation before making a move. (0097)
#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about... . … women in general and their emotions.(3593)
how to verbally express themselves. 9729
1. What women want!!! (5696)
1. …listening to what I am saying and not what you think I will say.-0655
their own emotions and what causes them to feel a certain way. (3341)
…the little things a female appreciates, such as a little note, a single flower, or anything that lets her know he is thinking about her or that he cares about her. This is important, especially since females tend to overanalyze situations and activate a broader range of emotions than males. (5412)
- 13 …how women express themselves. (0614)
…mundane tasks, such as keeping things clean, grocery shopping, and organization. (6791) reading signs and getting the picture if a girls isn’t into them. (0419)
how girl fights work. -5513
13. How to express their emotions/feelings (0023).
13. Multi-tasking and cleanliness. (3259)
Expressing their emotions and understanding the need to be vulnerable at times. (3842)
13.How girls don’t always just want a hook up (2407)
13. Most everything pertaining to expressing their thoughts and emotions. (5282)
how to communicate with women about what they want. This might be because they are clueless about what they want…(5826)
1. My feelings and emotions. (0097)
#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... . … needs to work on.!(3593)
may not always be very good at or understand how to do, but I’d always give them an A for effort. 9729
1. Has trouble doing. Some guys don’t seem to have a romantic bone in them.(5696)
can be good at, but only some of them actually are. (3341)
1. …can be just as much as girls.-0655
…can either be really great at or can use some female guidance with. It depends on the guy. (5412)
…does when they truly care about you. It doesn't need to be a huge gesture or gift, just something small to show that you are who they think and care about. (6791) is really good at. Guys always have something up their sleeve. (0419)
#14 …tries really hard at – sometimes they succeed and sometimes they don’t. Either way it’s appreciated (0614)
is either really good at, or completely fails at. -5513
14. Seems embarrassed about (0023).
14. Does not do often enough. (3259)
Does not do most of the time. They tend to look for sex rather than romance. (3842)
14. Should want to do (2407)
14. Needs to learn how to do for the most part. Put in a little more effort. (5282)
doesn’t do often but when a romantic act is made, it is remembered and creative. (5826)
1. Should always be. (0097)
#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...
. … introducing them to your really good looking friends to see if they stare or try anything with them when you are not around.(3593)
seeing how they interact with their own friends. Sometimes things need to get weaker in order to know that they can get strong. (5981)
#15 …seeing how she acts around his friends (0614)
1. Having their friend hit on you on the sidelines and seeing if you flirt back or if you set that friend straight and announce your connection with the guy you are with to them.(5696)
trying to find out how trustworthy they are. (3341)
…in my experience I don't see that men test women. Women test men a lot more. (6791) ...seeing how she reacts to certain scenarios, such as hanging out with female friends to see if she gets overly jealous, or something of the sort. (5412)
1. …teasing you until you get seriously annoyed.-0655
pushing the limits to find out how much they will do for them. Girls do this more than guys though. (0419)
trying to get their girlfriend in the “underdog” position. For example, making her always be the one to ask to hang out, or making her be the one to initiate the text conversation. -5513
15. Making her meet his friends in order to get their approval (0023).
15. Hanging out or texting girls that are just their friends to see how jealous their girlfriend becomes and how much their girlfriend trusts them. (3259)
Seeing how they get along with his friends. (3842)
15.Seeing if they get along with their family (2407)
15. Introducing them to friends and family and seeing if they flirt with other members of the opposite sex. (5282)
testing their loyalty and trustworthiness but is a test really going to dissipate their insecurities and reaffirm trust in that person? Is a relationship test really going to create trust? Is it really that simple when this test is aimed at highlighting mistakes and problems? No, a relationship should not be based on tests to prove anything. It’s immature and pointless. (5826)
1. Offering to do something they didn’t want to do in hopes that their partner will respond with the right answer. (0097)
#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to... . … physical strength and education. (3593)
physical labor and manners (5981)
1. Women’s driving skills. Men are willing to put anything on the line when it comes to how bad a woman drives.(5696)
housework and number of sexual partners. (3341)
- 16 …housework. Men expect women to take care of most of the housework even if they create the mess.(0614)
…most things! Men don't want women to be stronger, wealthier, more adventurous, etc than them! (6791)
women in the workforce. I feel like guys are still uncomfortable with the idea of women being above them. (0419)
… the government changing the inequality between the amount a male gets paid in comparison to the amount a female gets paid for the same exact position in the working world. (5412)
cleaning duties. I feel that more men have accepted cooking, but some still cannot wrap their heads around the idea of a man a vacuum in his hand. -5513
16. Women who are successful, household chores, money (0023).
16. Women who earn more money than their husbands or family dynamics in which women go to work and their husbands stay home. These circumstances make many men feel emasculated.(3259)
Jobs and employment. (3842)
16. Employment and salary (2407)
16. Sports, cars, and careers. (5282)
women who are more successful than them. This is the 20th century people, can we please get over this inferiority gender complex? (5826)
1. Respecting the opposite sex, wages. 0097
#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex... … demonstrates when they are not the only ones involved. (3593)
should never partake in
1. Shows in women and money.(5696)
needs to chill out about. (3341)
…and the same sex can sometimes take to an extreme. (5412)
….has when other men are involved. (6791) #17 …needs to control. Just because we want to see other friends, that doesn’t mean that we don’t like you or value you any less. (0614)
does a lot. Guys are really protective and sometimes it is unnecessary.(0419)
demonstrates particularly when it comes to their girlfriends. -5513
17. Has a difficult time controlling (0023).
17. Does when they are insecure about themselves and the relationship they have with their girlfriend.(3259)
Needs to practice in moderation. (3842)
17. Sometimes have too much of. (2407)
17. Needs to relax on. (5282)
does and needs to stop doing. Some girls find it attractive but I do not understand why. Why would you want to be someone’s property and be “owned” by someone? It’s demeaning and aren’t we all searching for equality in the end. (5826)
1. Limit. (0097)
#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex... … bases their like or dislike of the person off of it (3593)
should meet all other criteria before this (5981)
1. Base everything off of it.(5696)
can be very attractive, especially when they are confident about it. (3341)
#18 …places a great deal of emphasis on this trait. (0614)
…seems to be pickier and shallower than females. (5412)
…can gain a woman's attention at first, but hold it by demonstrating a good personality and good self-confidence. (6791). places this very high on their list of priorities. (0419) is very attractive.-5513
18. Seems to only value or heavily value more than other characteristics in the opposite sex (0023).
18. Loses their attractiveness when they know that they are good looking and sure that they can get any girl that they want.(3259)
Views this as an important attribute that determined whether or not they will approach you. (3842)
18. Can sometimes think that just because they’re hot they can get anyone (2407)
18. Looks good when they actually try and look nice such as showering and being aware of what they look like. (5282)
can immediately become unattractive when they act like they are god’s gift to the world and every girl should be at their beck and call. No girl cares if you have blue eyes and hair like Brad Pitt’s (unless you are Brad Pitt and on a poster) because once we’re done staring at your face, we will be disgusted by your obnoxious and conceded attitude. So, learn some jokes, read some books and be yourself because that’s who we’ll love. (5826)
1. Seems to value that over personal traits. (0097)
#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex... … care most about (3593)
Don't necessarily need to possess (5981)
1. Achieve to get women to like them or interested in them. (5696)
- 19 …are always trying to gain. (0614)
thinks about too much. (3341)
…care about just as much as a female with similar values.(5412)
...think is more important to most women than it actually is. (6791).
cares a lot about. (0419)
19. Holds too highly. It seems like they believe these traits are related to their own masculinity and self-worth (0023).
should not care about if they are interested in me. -5513
19. Do not need to flaunt to get my attention. Character is more important. (3259)
19. Sometimes value too highly. (2407)
19. Cling towards. Everyone clings towards those- they’re inevitable. (5282)
can have but is not necessary to make yourself to sound interesting or important. I don’t care if you have five houses in the U.S. or you are on the A list club because in the end, unless those things can provide comfort, loving support, care, true confidence, and loyalty then you can forget mentioning them. (5826)
1. Values a little too much. (0097)
#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex... … is dishonest.(3593)
don't try to relate to where you're coming from (5981)
1. Agrees with me when I say I look like crap.(5696)
takes advantage of women for sexual purposes. (3341)
…ignores me. (6791). …does not listen or try to understand a females emotions or thoughts. (5412)
acts like they don’t care (0419)
#20 …thinks emotions can be taken lightly. They are not as simple to control and ignore as they would like to think. (0614)
show no interest in getting to know me, when I am interested in getting to know them. -5513
20. Does not try to understand my point of view (0023).
20. Does not view females as their equals. Guys who expect their girlfriends to live by stereotypical standards in their relationships bother me. (3259)
Is insensitive and acts like they don’t care. (3842)
20. Joke around about how I’m truly feeling. (2407)
20. Doesn’t give it a chance, gives up, or doesn’t express themselves. (5282)
acts as though they do not care. Yes, I could say something funny or witty here but it really does bother me when guys act as though they are made of steel and they don’t have emotions because I know guys do care on some level. I don’t think guys understand how much girls just want a guy to know that they care and that they made their day just as much as their smile and text made theirs. So, it’d be nice every once in awhile if that was communicated. (5826)
1. Takes advantage of my sincerity. (0097)