Spring, 2012

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Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework

Comments by Women

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Next class session. WORTH 10 POINTS

This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) on your computer to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 4 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions below.

You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it. Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/,

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.

Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Women" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Women's Comments page.


(Note: Some comments from previous classes have been included here, given the small class size, to help protect confidentially).

#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling One of the most puzzling things I have found in the male gender is their inability to connect outward emotions to their root. In other words, they may be able to see when you are angry, sad, annoyed, happy, or whatever, but they cannot pinpoint what it is that made you that way, or they just don’t care to. There are so many situations I have been through with males, either a boyfriend, a friend, or even my father, in which I have been angry or upset because of something they did, and although they recognize how I am feeling, they have no idea why. Even if I have been upset about something that has nothing to do with them, and they were there to witness what had happened, they still don’t realize what it was that made me upset. It is like they just have an entirely different idea about what would make a person feel certain emotions. 7110 1. I have noticed that communication can often times be strained between the sexes. Women and men seem to have some kind of barrier separating them from understanding each other at times. Specifically, when I am in a romantic relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I find that healthy communication is the hardest thing to obtain. In particular, I find that things can frequently be misinterpreted. For example, there are times when a boyfriend would be minimally talkative in person or even through text messages, and I would take it as if something were wrong or in extreme cases even wonder if they could be losing interest. They seem distant, without even realizing that they are sending that message across. As a woman, it is important to remember that it is unintentional on their part, and that it could just be their more simplistic nature. In general, men do however tend to be less emotional, less connected, and less perceptive to feelings of others. (6743)

Something i often have trouble understanding about men is the way they convey their emotions. I have been in a few serious relationships, but even with male family members and friends i feel the same way. I know men's conversation in general is different in women, perhaps more instrumental or based on an activity, not feelings or others. But what puzzles me is regardless of age, it seems easy to talk about emotions, except when about the self. in my past relationships the men have always been open to deep conversation and talking about feelings, but as soon as there is an argument about 'us' it seems they all shut down. It does make me wonder if the stereotype about women being more emotional is true, or whether certain men have just never learned to properly convey their own emotions in a way that is acceptable to todays societal standards of what a man should be. (8611)

I recently went out on a date with a man in his early 30’s and throughout the date he continuously tried to impress me with things that don’t matter. He would tell me that if I “behaved” correctly, he would take me out to do these nice things that he was bragging about. Males in general always like to be the one in control, and him telling me to behave a certain way was him taking control over me as well as anything we were planning on in the future…which obviously for me was not ever going to work. 4747

I have been newly single for the past few months coming out of a long term relationship and have decided to be direct in dealing with men, playing games is no longer attractive. One of the first weekends after my breakup I went to San Diego to visit my sister and met a really good looking, nice, funny guy. He told everyone all night (except for me) how much he liked me, but by the end of the night hadn’t asked for my number. I chalked it up to the fact that I was sending out “unavailable” signals because I was hurting. However, I took it upon myself to find him on facebook and reach out. He began to send me flirtatious messages but never followed through. I put myself out there again saying I’d be visiting in his area (San Francisco) in the next few weeks and he said he’d be around. I never heard from him again. New Year’s weekend I tried one last time, he hasn’t stopped calling/texting me since - always being extremely flirty saying things like “when are we going to get together so we can hurry up and fall in love”, yet he never makes a plan or is straight forward. Our flirtatious conversations are very encouraging, but it leads me to think that he may be this way with all of the girls he interacts with and just says whatever he thinks a girl wants to hear, not actually having any intentions of following through. Our locations make it hard, but I feel that if a guy were actually interested he’d make the trip or at least plan to make the trip. 5833

1. One experience that puzzled me about the opposite sex involved a man I was previously dating. After dating for about two years we finally decided to go our separate ways. One of the last arguments we had was very heated and I was left in tears. A few days after the argument he began to text me again and acting as if everything was perfectly normal. He never brought up the argument again until I finally did. What puzzles me about the man in this situation and many men I have encountered is that I do not understand how men are able to completely separate themselves from their emotions. It is as if men compartmentalize their emotions about a situation into a separate box and are not willing to confront them or deal with them until someone forces them to. (6056) I feel like men never really act on their emotions. A friend of a close friend of mine supposedly really likes me. And all of the men in my circle of friends are aware of this and keep telling me that Ben is attracted to me. They are trying to convince me to talk to him but I feel like if he has the emotions then he should act on it. He has told everyone that is linked to me about his feeling except for me. It doesn’t work that way. I have close friends that will check out a girl and let me know that they find the girl attractive but they don’t realize that we won’t understand that unless they come talk to us. Ask for our number, make a move. Either you will get it or get rejected and move onto the next girl. I can not be attracted to Ben knowing that he likes me but still hasn’t tried to pursue anything, it makes him look like a pansy. I always hear of men being attracted to women and believe me we give opportunities for you to ask for our number, I just don’t understand why they don’t ask. There is nothing to be scared about. (4471)

Something that I do not understand about men is the way that they text girls. There have been a number of times in the past few years when guys will text either my friends or me and then after we respond they will not say anything back. I do not get why they will even say anything in the first place if they are not going to continue the conversation. It seems like they want to put in minimum effort and that their one text of the day fulfills that.[1856]

I was once dating a guy who told me that we were “officially boyfriend and girlfriend”. We went out to dinner or a movie at least once every two weeks and he always paid. We had a great time together and spent time together almost every day. One day however, he just stopped talking to me. We were both very busy and midterms were coming up so I just dismissed it, deciding that I would talk to him later. A few days later, I found out from one of our mutual friends that his ex-girlfriend was coming to visit him and that they had been talking on the phone every night for the past few days. When I confronted him about it, he insisted that it was not a big deal and that he did not see why he should have told me about it. This situation is so puzzling because I do not understand how he could not see the trip as a big deal. Men do not seem to find certain behaviors as wrong when women do. (2182)

I dated a boy named Colin for about four months before we broke up. We were still friends, but attended different schools so we were not in contact with each other as much as before. Two years after we broke up, he asked me if I wanted to catch up (not a date). I agreed, and we went to lunch. After we had lunch, I came home to a text message from him that said, “I love you.” This came as a complete shock, was extremely confusing, and I didn’t know how to respond. I thought it was very impulsive, and realized that we no longer could be “just friends.” (0022)

1. I have been in a long term relationship, so I find this question surprisingly difficult to answer. In general, since our romantic relationship has stemmed from a best friendship, there are not any interactions that are puzzling or incomprehensible. However, one trend I have noticed is our communication. Upon arriving to LMU, I became insecure with all of the attractive, confident women everywhere you looked. I would constantly ask what he was doing with his friends, and perhaps bug him with questions about details. I found the more I asked, the less information he gave. I started to realize I just needed to let go and trust with all of my ability. I stopped asking so many questions. I found in doing so, he began to share more information with me than when I had actually asked for the information. I think this stems from him, as a male, not wanting to feel trapped, confined, or controlled in our relationship. I still can’t help but find it puzzling how the less I ask, the more information I receive, while the more I ask, the less information I receive. (1112)

I have had a very close relationship with a guy friend of mine for a while. We spend tons of time together, and one night, something happened between us. It was nothing major, and we were both single so we just laughed it off. A few months later, he met a girl he seems to really like. I thought this was great news. However, for some reason, he keeps bringing up what happened between us. It’s really awkward for me, since I thought we both understood that we’re just friends. If he likes this girl so much, why does he keep bringing up what happened between us? I am truly puzzled at why he would be doing this. 1052

I can’t really think of a specific situation in which I found a guys behavior to be extremely puzzling. There are definitely things that they do and say that I definitely don’t agree with but I don’t find it necessarily puzzling because I know that is just the way men are. For example when I hang out with a group of guys by myself I’m sometimes very turned off by the ways they refer and talk about other girls. Although I don’t agree with I know that they say the things they do because they are much more motivated by sex than girls are. 8143

I’m oft#_GoBacken confused about how men misconstrue the intentions/interactions with women. Several of my male friends often perceive my friendship for something more. They don’t seem to understand that we can just be friends without anything more happening. These friends, thinking I’m flirting with them, will become jealous if I act the same way toward another male friend. In reality- I never ever flirt with these friends, I just act like a friend would and the situation becomes very complicated. (9316)

  1. I met a guy in my freshman year of college and we exchanged contact information. We would talk on the phone, text, and hang out, but we never pursued anything further. I thought he really liked me however when talk of a relationship ensued he would avoid the topic. I generalize this to all guys because this has happened to me a few times not just once or twice. Guys usually avoid talking about getting into relationships or just relationships in general. They may have and innate commitment phobia. (8581)

A couple years ago I began to develop feelings for one of my best guy friends. We had been friends for a while. We could do anything together and talk about anything. Our conversations become more flirtatious as time went on and I could tell he had similar feelings for me. I told him how I felt; he acknowledged it but nothing developed further from our friendship. Not letting that get in the way we continued to hangout like nothing happened. A few months later I introduced him to one of my friends. I had told her what was going on with the guy and me so she wanted to meet him. A few weeks later, they began going out. I was in shock and felt betrayed. I still remained friends with the guy. A few months later they had split up. Eventually, I gathered the courage and asked him whether he ever had feelings for me and he replied yes. Until this day, I do not know why our friendship did not go farther. He was fully aware of the feelings I had for him and he felt the same way. I think he was afraid to ruin the friendship we had. In general, it seems like men are afraid of taking the jump from a friendship to a relationship. They are afraid of change; if something works and are comfortable with it, they do not want to mess it up. 8039

#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different. What I like most about men is that they are simple and straightforward. It doesn’t take much to please men, and they do not play games or have the same manipulative nature that women do. I love that they are protective, strong, and willing to help. On the opposite side of that, despite being willing to help, they always need to be asked or told what to do, men are terrible at knowing what it is that you want. I hate the male desire to prove their manliness. Most of the ways they try to prove how macho they are, like fighting, are not very attractive. I also dislike how men are so sex-driven. It makes it really difficult to decipher the motive behind a guy talking to you. 7110

First and foremost, I am biologically attracted to men. So, the most basic thing I like about them would have to be their physique. Not one body type in particular. I like men just based on the sole criteria of being a man. I also like that men are simplistic when solving problems. I think that is a wonderful contrast to how women pick apart an issue, make it complicated, and in turn, harder to solve. On the opposite spectrum, I dislike how men move on so quickly from one girl to the next. I feel as though men usually do not wait a long time after ending relations with one girl to begin with a new one. It makes their feelings seems inconstant and easily changed. This takes merit away from their words. I also have trouble with how superficial men are, whether they know it or not. I do not feel like a man will date a girl unless he is attracted to her physically first, and mentally second. 4108

What I like most about the opposite sex is that, in general, men are very straight forward. If you ask them a question, you will receive an honest answer. With girls, there might be a hidden meaning behind their answer, or they might not say exactly what is on their minds. For example, if I ask a man “How was your day today?” He may say honestly “It was good.” However, if I were to ask a woman the same question, and received the same answer, she might have actually had a bad day. Another example of this is if a man has an issue with you or any other person, they will honestly tell you that they have a problem with you. I like this aspect of men very much so because women tend to play games. There are no games, and no drama with men. They are straightforward. Having said that, I dislike the fact that men tend to think more with their hormones than with logic. This tendency to think with their “other head” bothers me because I would like to not be solely valued for my appearance. This also tends to make men more impulsive when it comes to women, which is bothersome to me as well. 2106

I get along very well with men, I think they’re great and a majority of my friends are male. I like their protective nature, no matter if it’s your friend or boyfriend they want to keep me safe. I also enjoy the simplicity of being around them, they don’t bring drama or confusion to conversations or situations and you know what you’re getting with guys. One of my favorite examples is from Sex and the City when Carrie has put so much effort into picking out the perfect dress and on her date Mr. Big says “nice dress” to which she responds “what does that mean?” and he replies “It means nice dress”. women think too much and analyze, men just speak and don’t worry. This lack of thinking before they speak can also backfire and become something I dislike about men - they are unemotional and don’t take women’s feelings into consideration. Also, getting men to communicate is like pulling teeth. As far as dating guys or new guys who come into your life, their drive for sex makes it confusing to know what they really want from you. It’s annoying how men can be the most gentlemanly, romantic people before they get what they want and then once you have sex or have been dating for a little while, that guy disappears. 5833

2. In general, I like that men are protective by nature. When I am in the presence of a man, whether it is my father, brother or friend, I know that if we encounter a dangerous situation he would do his best to protect me from harm. I like that men bring less drama to a situation than women and are easier going when solving problems. I like that men are physically strong and capable of helping around the house with difficult yard work or activities that involve a greater amount of physical strength. I dislike that men are socialized to hide their emotions and sometimes have difficulty expressing their true feelings in a situation. I dislike that men are often times driven more by their hormones than by logical thinking. I also dislike that many men are stubborn and often slow to accept help from others. (6056) 2. Although the fact that men are simple can be a negative attribute, it also has its upsides. In this way, men are less prone to drama. In addition, they are easier to figure out than women can often be. Men are more straightforward, and at times women, I in particular, can forget this and overanalyze them sometimes. They can also be protective in the sense that they would make an effort to prevent bad things from happening to people they care about. This is a huge positive characteristic unless they take it to a level of aggression which then becomes a negative attribute. Men can definitely be more prideful than women at times and can also let this pride fuel aggressive behavior. Men can be also be less comforting and compassionate, as well as less sentimental. (6743)

I love men for their overpowering sense. They have a warmth to them that is so satisfying. When you feel down and let them know they wrap their arms all the way around you and hold you tight. It’s so comforting knowing that they have the power to dominate you but they are still so gentle. Men that aren’t your siblings always go out of their way to help you. They like to be liked and don’t start drama for no reason. I hate men’s motto of the best way to get over a girl is to get under another one. They have a tendency to like a girl mainly because they are physically attracted to them. Men love bragging to their friends about dating models and how far they have been able to convince the girl to go, they rarely do anything for themselves, it’s just to be able to show off to their friends and I don’t like that. I like how men don’t over think anything but at the same time I don’t like that because they don’t realize that women over think everything. (4471)

I like how generally men are protective. If they hear that anything bad has happened to somebody they care about they will want to make the situation right in some way. Sometimes it is nice to know that somebody is looking out for you. I dislike how aggressive and competitive guys can get sometimes. It seen all over the media especially when one man beats up another over some small issue. For example, one of them could be just talking to the other mans girlfriend and not even be interested but the competitive nature makes them both get into a fight. [1856]

The thing I like most about men is that they are straightforward. Men tell it like it is no matter what the situation. I also love that men can get over things very quickly. They may fight or argue over something that is bothering them, but once they get their feelings out, they generally move on. I wish I could be more like that. I do not like that men do not like to talk much. I often call my younger brothers to ask them how their doing and after a short fifteen minute conversation, they are out of things to say! I wish they would share more about their lives and feelings with me. (2182)

I like that men are less dramatic, compatible for women, and chivalrous. I have found that men are much more laid back and easy going than women. They tend to be less catty and can let things go instead of holding a grudge. They usually do not have much drama in their friendships and are not as catty. They also do not obsess over gossip as much as women do. I also like the qualities that make men compatible for women. They are handy, strong, protective, and add a unique balance to a relationship or friendship. I do not like, however, how competitive men can be about the tiniest things. They can get angry quickly, and turn anything into a competition. Second, I do not like how unobservant they are. They tend to overlook details, body language, and other obvious signs. Lastly, I do not like that men tend to focus more on the physical aspect of a relationship. (0022)

In general, I like men’s physical differences from women. I enjoy how they are taller and stronger than me, and even though it is cliché, the feeling of protection I have from that combination. I also enjoy being able to be together without always having to talk. Sometimes with women there is a pressure to constantly talk when you are with another woman, while if you are with a man, it is perfectly okay to do homework silently together or watch a sporting event without small talk all of the time. One of the things I dislike most about men is the constant desire for sex. When women may want just a relaxing night in, men constantly push for sex. It sometimes feels that simply laying together in bed isn’t the intimacy men desire; the intimacy they crave is sex. I also dislike how men are less likely to share their emotions and feelings with women. When women share their long term desires with men or their feelings in general, men tend to become distant and more reserved. (1112)

What I like about the opposite sex is that they are far less dramatic than girls are. I find that men are much more straight-forward and women are way too passive aggressive and silent. The dynamics of females seem to be much more unnecessarily complex than that of males. This causes me to gravitate toward males when it comes to friendships. I find it harder to relate to the catty nature of girls. However, I dislike that men seem to have a harder time communicating. It seems like they have a much more difficult time articulating their feelings, be it due to their nature, or societal influences. I also strongly dislike the aggressive nature of men. 1052

I like that men tend to be less dramatic and are usually easier to get a long with. I feel like it is easier to just have fun with boys because they aren’t constantly talking about other people and pointless drama. On the other hand I dislike that guys can usually be pretty insensitive. If I’m having a problem in my life, I would much rather go to talk about it with a girlfriend because they actually listen and give advice where as boys tend to act as if they don’t care. 8143 In general, I like the way men are so eager to be helpful and willing to lend a hand. I also like that they are typically responsible and motivated when working for something that they’re passionate about. Their drive and dedication is very attractive. Finally, I like their athleticism and competitive nature. I generally dislike when their ego and machismo attitude gets in the way of a real relationship (both friendly, and romantic). For example, I have worked on projects where I thought of a better way to go about the task at hand and a male would blow me off and say something like “leave this for the men” or “you’re a girl- let the men figure this out.” I also dislike their general trend toward believing that all women are irrational and highly emotional/rash. Some women, and men, are emotional and others tend toward rationalism but I don’t think it’s fair to condemn an entire half of the population to irrationalism. (9316)

In general, I like how men are bigger and stronger than women because they can protect me. They have muscular bodies, which are nice to look at. Men are not as emotional as women are, so they are better at analyzing a stressful or overwhelming situation. I dislike how men do not think before they speak. As a result of this, some things that they say come off as being rude. Men are insensitive. They do not show emotion or know how to be empathetic so they seem to not care about other’s issues or problems. They will not comfort you or give you a shoulder to cry on, they will just simply tell you to get over it. (8581)

I like how men are straightforward and simple. You don’t have to read into what they are saying because what they say is what they mean. If you talk to them they will tell will tell you the truth. With women, you are always wondering if there is a hidden meaning in what they tell you. Many times, women will word something in a way that leaves certain information out, but technically aren’t lying to you. With men, you don’t have to worry about any hidden meanings. I don’t like how men are often too hung up on physical attractiveness. They often place too much attention on people look and many times don’t take the time to get past appearances. 8039

#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?

I think the most misunderstood thing about females by males is that women don’t eat very much. I hate it when a guy makes a comment about how much I am eating or what I am eating. Not all girls like to eat side salads for lunch. Most girls love to eat and they love to eat food like burgers, pizza, and steak, just like guys do. 7110

Not every girl is expecting a huge commitment out of interactions with a man, and we can be okay with friendships and casual relationships as much as a guy can. Not every girl is always looking for the man she is going to marry. (7071)

The opposite sex misunderstands the fact that they think we have the same mentality as them, which creates conflict.(3593)

I think that men most misunderstand that all women are not the same. I feel that women are hurt in relationships every day and manage to pick ourselves back up and learn to trust again whereas the majority of men that I’ve met, if they’ve been hurt in a relationship they think all women are like the ex. If a man has one bad experience with a woman then he’s unable to see the differences among us; we are all cheaters, jealous, or overly emotional. Movies and media portray women in a certain way and if men have little experience with real women, they tend to believe that we are all this over-dramatized female and so in turn they treat us that way rather than getting to know us on an individual level. When women are treated as emotional or unable to handle a conversation, then it makes us crazy and we may become emotional. Or if a man hides things because his ex was jealous and so he now thinks we all are, we will become jealous because he is being sneaky. It’s a vicious cycle, but acknowledging that all women are unique is a start. 5833

3. I think that men have a huge misconception that women expect them to be “mind-readers.” This is completely untrue. Women know that it is not humanly possible for men to read our minds. We expect men to use intuition, context clues, and have a genuine desire to make us happy. On the contrary, many men fail to pay attention to small details that affect women and tend to act clueless and confused. (6056)

Men don’t seem to realize that women aren’t as emotional they think we are. We are tougher and more independent that we sometimes give off because men may think it is manly and unattractive if we show strength.(4471)

Men think that women are overly needy. They think that if you are hooking up or talking that you will automatically want to have a relationship with them. Also, I think they overestimate the amount of time that they think a girl wants to spend with them. This is not true though, I know for me at least that I would not want to spend every moment of my life with my boyfriend I would need my own space.[1856]

I think men most misunderstand women’s emotions. They see in the media that women cry a lot and are very dramatic. This is not true of all women and often men misjudge how emotional a woman will be about a certain situation. (2182) 3. Men misunderstand that women are more nurturing, caring, and compassionate by nature than they are and often look at these positive characteristics in a negative light, portraying us as less rational or even hypersensitive. There are probably situations in which this can be true however this is a stereotypical view of women. Men also misunderstand that women also have needs which are physical. For example, when a woman decides to sleep with people she is considered a “slut” but when a man does the same thing he is considered “the man.” In this way women’s sexual needs are dismissed and labeled as wrong or immoral or a sign of insecurity or low self-esteem. (6743) Men misunderstand that when women say they are “fine” in a distinct tone, they really are not. I think that men tend to miss the “hints” that women try to give them about how they are feeling. They tend to misread body language and are not as observant. (0022)

3. One thing that men most misunderstand about women is that women don’t always want men to solve their problems. If they present their problems to men, most of the time it is simply to vent or be able to get issues off of one’s chest in support. When sharing issues with women, there is a pressure to talk for extended periods of time. When sharing issues with men, they are honest and will listen. The problem lies when they try to solve the problems you are venting to them. Sometimes, women just need to vent to someone who is not a woman! (1112)

I think the biggest thing that men misunderstand about women is their desires for relationships. Men seem to think that if they just talk to a girl, she immediately wants to jump into a relationship with them which is definitely not the case. 1052

I think because girls are a lot more perceptive of others feelings, men tend to think that women are too sensitive and dramatic. Due to the fact that women are more sensitive than men I think it is most commonly misunderstood that women are very dramatic. 8143

I think that men misunderstand the idea that while we do think about marriage/our wedding day/Disney princess fairy tale lives we are also very concerned with finding a career, having a stable economic base, and being financially independent. We are expected to balance a family and our own personal wishes and desires in life and with the stress of thinking of that balance it’s often easier to get lost in an ideal, fairytale world rather than one in which we have to decide between personal fulfillment (career-wise) and a family. (9316)

Men do not understand women’s need to know deep personal things about them. Men are very private, closed off and do not like to share they’re feelings, however it is important for women to know men’s feelings and emotions in order to create intimacy. Women cannot be intimate with someone that they know nothing about or feel connected to. (8581)

Men often misunderstand women who are quiet. They think that women who don’t say much are standoffish or bitchy. However, these women just tend to be shy and don’t speak up much. 8039

#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?

Obviously, the first and most important thing that attracted me to this person was their physical appearance. However, the appearance would mean nothing if I discovered that the guy was loud, annoying, flamboyant, or at all feminine in his tendencies. The most attractive guy would be good looking, but also very confident, intelligent, modest, witty, and respectable yet mysterious. 7110

I was attracted by the sarcastic sense of humor and playful, lighthearted nature of the person. I liked that this person had ambitions and passions, and was actively working towards making those things happen-success is attractive. From the beginning, the physical appearance allowed for the initial attraction, but what KEPT me attracted were the personality and the confidence. I have never been one for looks. Usually my friends cannot comprehend what possesses me to have a particular attraction to most of the guys I find attractive, but it is often due to one specific personality trait that I find appealing. There is never a consistent trait initially, but I usually find wit very attractive. (4762)

Characteristics that typically attract me to people include (but are not limited to): physical appearance, physique, humor, personality, values. Like most people, I do notice a person’s physical appearance and physique. There is a particular body type I like, but I don’t use that as a deciding factor on which I am ultimately attracted to. I am able to distinguish between finding people attractive and being attracted to them. Humor is another important characteristic to me. I find myself drawn to people that can make me laugh and put a smile on my face. Who doesn’t like that? More importantly, I find it even more attractive when people can not only dish out but can take jokes as well. If a person can’t handle people joking with them or take themselves to seriously, I probably won’t be attracted to that person. Personality is another important factor in who I am attracted to. Certain types or aspects of people’s personalities fit better with mine. This may be a common criteria for most people, but for me values is just as important. If somebody is physical attractive, has a sense of humor, and a great personality but their values are polar to my own that can typically lead to me finding that person less attractive in the long run. (0941)

Not to be shallow but of course I am initially physically attracted to a man. My ex has green eyes, and is tall with a muscular frame - it made me feel dainty and safe. Beyond that I had the chance to get to know him on a personal level before we started dating, he is extremely confident but not cocky - cocky is not sexy. His personality matched mine in the sense that I’m very sarcastic and he could dish it back to me without being rude. He was always the perfect gentleman, opening car doors, planning dates, etc. It’s important for me to laugh, and he was very subtly funny - not a goofy joke-teller. He is intelligent and educated and so even simple conversations were interesting or witty. 5833

4. The qualities that usually attract me to the opposite sex is an athletic physique, a charming and charismatic personality, humor, a nice smile, and someone who is a hard-worker and has many goals and aspirations for his life. Although what initially attracts me is a man’s physical appearance, his personality and way of carrying himself is what usually wins me over in the end. (6056)

4. What attracted me to my current boyfriend was his personality, sense of humor, confidence, physical appearance, and overall demeanor. I like that he is fun to be around, playful, makes me laugh, and is also very caring while still making me feel safe and protected. I think it is important for men to maintain a balance of “masculine” qualities while still exhibiting a sensitive, caring side as well. (6743) The last time I actually fell hard for a guy, he was my best friend. We told each other everything and he was always there for me. He only lived a few blocks away and anytime I felt lonely he would show up at my door, call me to come out, and take me somewhere fun. He was so understanding and always listened to everything I said. He went out of his way to make me happy even when I didn’t ask him to. He was very caring and unlike men I chose to be attracted to him for his personality and after liking his personality I started finding him physically attractive. (4471)

Thinking back to all the males I have been attracted to, they have all been so different so I do not think it is just one trait in particular. However, some of the characteristics that I have been drawn to in the past are self-confidence (but not overly confident) or ones who are nice to their mothers (but not mommy’s boys).[1856]

I am usually first attracted to physical appearance. I do prefer a man who is taller than me. I am also drawn in by nice eyes. I will not date someone purely on looks though. I look for a sense of humor and someone who seems to genuinely want to get to know me. A good work ethic is important too because I work very hard and hold myself to a high standard. (2182)

I am attracted to men that have a high sense of self-esteem (not too high) so that they are confident in themselves. It is attractive if they can have intelligent and deep conversations, have a good sense of humor, and are attractive. It is also attractive if they have a good work ethic and are passionate. The most important factor in what makes them attractive is their sense of humor. (0022)

4. Physically, I immediately noticed his height, size, and green eyes. (I think green eyes are beautiful.) He had a wonderful smile, and I thought he was incredibly physically attractive. I began seeing him attractive- inside and outside- when I started talking with him. He was polite, kind, and very funny. After the initial conversations, we began talking about more serious things, and we shared the same views on all major issues. This was also very attractive to me. I enjoyed being able to discuss politics and world events with him. We had similar taste in music, and knew all of the words to the same songs. He was honest, and a very devoted friend. I also knew he loved his family. This became one of the most important factors that attracted me to him, since I love my family above all else, and he did as well. This brought us together, and we really hit it off. (1112)

The last time I was very attracted to a person of the opposite sex, the initial look was caused by good looks. However, what really attracted me even more was the calm and cool nature of this person. Although of course as I got to know him, I was into him for his taste in music, intelligence, etc., but to be honest, the initial attraction was definitely to his good looks. 1052

The last time I was very attracted to a person of the opposite sex, the initial look was caused by good looks. However, what really attracted me even more was the calm and cool nature of this person. Although of course as I got to know him, I was into him for his taste in music, intelligence, etc., but to be honest, the initial attraction was definitely to his good looks. 1052

I think at first glance physical appearance is what immediately draws myself to a man but in terms of having feelings for him it depends on their personality. I find it most attractive when a guy is funny, confident, a good listener, and empathetic. 8143

I am most often physically attracted to “manly” men. I like facial hair, and men with large proportions- big arms, broad chest, and muscular legs (think mountain men). I am ALWAYS attracted to a man that challenges me (mentally/ physically/ politically/ etc.) as well as is someone I can compete with on friendly terms. Intelligence (whether book smarts or street smarts) and humor (cony, witty, sarcastic, etc.) are also big turn-ons. Drive and ambition are also attractive. Similar values are not absolutely mandatory but some sort of value system/firm beliefs are. Ideally, I want an equal- not someone who idolizes me or who looks down on me, but someone who can walk next to me in life, not in front or behind.(9316)

A time when I was really attracted to a man he was tall, darker skin tone, funny, smart, had a job, beautiful eyes and a nice smile. He was also very kind, loving, opened up about his emotions, told me things about his life, and I really got along with his family. He worked with kids, which is something that I really respect. He wanted to get to know my family, spend time with me, and get to know me. The main thing that attracted me to him was the fact that he was so nice to me and gave me a lot of attention. (8581)

I was attracted to someone who was confident, easy-going, funny, and hard working. However, the first thing that attracted me was his appearance. Although he was physically attractive, he also had an awesome personality that made me even more interested. 8039

#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

What I think are the strengths of the sex are similar to what I like about the male sex. Males’ physical strength, simple wants and motives, and protective qualities are what I see to be their strengths. As for male weaknesses, I see their inability to interpret emotions, express emotions, and their overpowering competitive nature to be their weaknesses. For men, it is mostly dealings with emotions that they fall short with. However, it is their overly competitive nature that I find most unattractive. When males are competitive with their girlfriends, or when they try to fight or show off to other males, it only turns females off and gets them into trouble. 7110

At first glance, many of the opposite sex’s strengths and weaknesses are synonymous with common likes and dislikes. In my opinion, a major strength of most men is their ability to handle conflict. A situation (although sometimes dealt with in a violent manner) is typically dealt with directly and then the air is cleared. Usually guys don’t harbor resentment while smiling in other guy’s faces. I think this is a strength because it reduces the opportunity for unnecessary, caddy conflicts to continue over an extended period of time. (0941)

I think men possess a strong sense of confidence in some way or another, whether they are faking it or it is genuine. If they do have insecurity, I feel like they are better at hiding it. I also think they have a better way of communicating between their own sex. Often times, I think girls talk in circles completely avoiding the point or any sort of definitive answer out of fear of saying the wrong thing, getting stuck, or being viewed in a poor light. As far as weaknesses go, I think men typically have a short fuse. For example, there have been a number of instances where I have witnessed guys just bursting into some sort of rage when something does not go according to plan. God forbid they cry like girls do, so instead they yell or flip over a table or say something totally uncalled for.(4762)

Strengths of the opposite sex are physical strength, directness (which helps in relationships, friendships, and business), they keep their emotions in check, confidence, they don’t tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. Weaknesses are lack of communication or emotions which can lead to confusion or disconnect in a relationship, aggression, lack of empathy or the inability to see a situation fro someone else’s perspective, not listening. 5833

5. Strengths of the opposite sex are physical strength, holding the role of a provider, and problem solving abilities. Weaknesses of the opposite sex are that they are less in touch with their emotions, stubborn, and often times make impulsive decisions without thinking things through. (6056) I feel like a man’s ultimate strength is how they can leave things in the past and not hold onto pain as long as women. They also have the ability to treat everyone around them equally. Their weakness lies in their inability to show emotion and how they think they always need to be macho.(4471)

Some strengths that men have are that they do not talk negatively about themselves. They do not complain about their looks or relationships with their friends and I think that their outward confidence has an influence over their actual confidence. A weakness of males is that they do not seem to catch on when somebody is upset or needing some support. I know with my friends who are girls, if any one of us is upset, we immediately take notice and will try to help in some way. With males, it seems like they would just think everything is fine.[1856]

Some strengths that men have are the ability to problem solve efficiently, the ability to deal with conflict with out emotion, and pure physical strength. Men are often weak in the areas of communication skills and dealing with emotions. I also think they struggle with comforting others because of their lack of practice dealing with emotions. (2182)

5. The strengths of men are really in their usefulness. They are able to me physically more strong than women in most cases, and can therefore provide more helpfulness in tasks that involve physical labor. In addition, men are useful as protectors for their children and loved ones. Weaknesses of men are the ability to express themselves emotionally and their lack of value of feelings and sensitivity. (6743)

The strengths of the opposite sex are that they are strong, helpful, and hard working. I think that men feel the need to be successful so many of them have a strong work ethic and really strive to make a name for themselves. They are also very helpful and use their strengths to help women. The weaknesses of the opposite sex are that they are unobservant and tend to be less emotional. Men tend to not notice the obvious and are not as emotionally expressive as women. (0022)

One strength men have is the ability to not stress or worry as much about pleasing everyone. As a woman, I find myself constantly trying to make sure that all I interact with are happy and I am doing everything I can to make people feel comfortable or in the loop with information. However, one weakness that stems from this is that men are less likely to pick up on peoples’ needs or emotions. Other strengths are: physical strength (obviously enough), not as sensitive so they are not offended as easily, strong leadership, higher confidence Other weaknesses are: quick to anger, inability to multitask, and generally think more of themselves in a situation. (1112)

I think men are better at problem solving, especially in a more expedient fashion than women. However, as previously mentioned I think that women are much better at communicating their feelings than men are. That is a definite weakness for men. 1052 Some strengths of men are that they are good problem solvers, protective, tend to provide for their family, know how to have a good time, and usually keep things simple. On the other hand, some weaknesses are that they can be close-minded, unsympathetic, aggressive, competitive, to concerned with their ego, and are usually pretty shallow. (8143)

I think male strengths include: straightforwardness, confidence, intelligence, physical strength, and a desire to look out for others (on a team, protectiveness, loyalty). Their weaknesses, I think, include: stubbornness, ego/hubris, and sometimes a lack of empathy or understanding.(9316)

They’re strength and weekend is the same thing. Their straight forward nature. (8581)

Strengths of men include being physically strong and being able to keep their emotions in check when dealing with conflicts. With emotions out of the way, men can think more clearly and rationally in order to solve a problem. One weakness of men is that they often act immature especially when they are around other men. Once they are with their friends, they can act likely totally different people and act like little kids. 8039

#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

I honestly cannot think of an instance in which males treated me unfairly because I am a female. Other than being looked at, hit on, and treated different because I am a female, I do not feel that I have been treated differently or unfairly. 7110

There were some instances in middle school and high school that men have treated me in an unfair and inappropriate way. Being touched inappropriately or being called demeaning names for no real reason has happened on numerous occasions throughout grade school. Other than that nothing really comes to mind, apart from being chosen last during baseball, basketball or beer pong games. [3546]

I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex in almost every personal interaction I have had with them except for one. I am the type of person who is very easy to get along with, despite some insecurities, but on the flip side, I am often manipulated because I am too nice. For example, a boyfriend of mine knew how nice and forgiving I was so he continually toyed with my emotions breaking up with me and begging forgiveness a total of four times (this was my own fault for saying yes every time), but he always knew how to frame it so I would say yes. This particular guy had a number of psychological issues that I was aware of (and he was in denial of) so I convinced myself that it was never his fault, and he knew how to manipulate me every time. It was not until it was finally over and he knew that I was officially done that he regretted his behavior and finally admitted to being an alcoholic and discovering he was bipolar. (4762) There have been several instances where men have unfairly treated me, but one instance in particular sticks out in my mind. When I was in fifth grade, I was friends with a group of boys in my neighborhood. We would always play basketball together, have races in the street, go swimming, etc. One day, after beating these boys in a game of basketball, the boys decided that they could no longer be friends with me simply because I was a girl and I kept beating them. If I had been a boy and had beat them there would have been no problem and we might have even stayed friends. (0941)

I worked at a male dominated job for 2 years and was being sexually harassed verbally and even through email. I finally decided to say something to the boss because it was outrageous and as soon as I spoke up I was transferred to a different department,. The man wasn’t even spoken to about the issues, but I was moved because it was easier to get rid of me than this man. I wasn’t fired because they could be sued for that, but it was pretty much the equivalent. 5833

6. An instance of being treated unfairly by men comes to mind every time I am with my extended family gathered at my grandparent’s house for a holiday. My grandmother, aunts, and myself usually spend a large portion of the day before and the actual day of the event preparing all of the food. The males in my family sit in the living room area watching sports programs on television and expect the women to come from the kitchen and serve them their meals. This has happened every single year for as long as I can remember. I really dislike this practice and I think it is a blatant example of how women are treated unfairly. (6056)

I feel like men are always treating me unfairly. Thinking I’m a piece of meat. In high school I was walking to class in the halls and a random younger student felt it was appropriate to slap my bottom. A fellow classmate of mine put his arm over my shoulders and comfortably placed his hand on my breast. Men have called me demeaning names such as a slut or bitch without the knowledge that it is not an appropriate nickname for me since I have never engaged in any sexual behavior other than kissing.(4471)

n class, I have had projects I’ve done in school with males and it seems like most of the time they will choose what parts they are doing without asking the females first. They will either give the easiest part to them or they will not put much consideration into what comments and opinions females have. [1856] 6. One situation when I was treated unfairly by the opposite sex was when I was in elementary school and wanted to the play the drums. A teacher encouraged me not to and said that the instrument was for boys to play and that I would not like it anyway. (6743)

The boys at my elementary school never let the girls play soccer with them at recess. I have played soccer my entire life and was definitely better than a lot of those boys, but only got to play when a teacher made them include the girls. (2182)

Yes, I have been personally treated unfairly by the opposite sex. I was in a two-year relationship and my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl, and then lied about it until he finally confessed. This was extremely heart breaking, confusing, and surprising. This ended our relationship and friendship and it took me a long time to trust men again. (0022)

6. In third grade, a boy in my class named Julian constantly bullied me for wearing my favorite sweater: a navy sweater with blue and orange highlights. Any time I wore it, he would tell me it was ugly and make fun of me for wearing it. As a result, I always think twice about the clothes I wear (and never wore that navy sweater again). (1112)

I have definitely been treated unfairly by the opposite sex in a situation with an ex-boyfriend. Even before we broke up, this guy was cheating on me with other girls. However, once we broke up, and I began seeing someone else, automatically he was calling me a “slut.” I believe that there is a gravely wrong double standard set against women in the favor of men’s promiscuity. 1052

When I was younger I used to surf competitively and in that environment there were definitely instances of being treated unfairly. I felt as if most male surfers never took the girls seriously. In their minds a women surfer can never compare to the power and strength that they have so a lot of the times they would take our waves and acted as if we didn’t deserve them. (8143)

I think women are often treated unfairly. In group projects with only men, I’ve been ignored or out right told to be quiet because I had “nothing to contribute.” In my family, my sister and I usually aren’t allowed to go anywhere beyond 35 miles away from home alone, while the same can’t be said for my brother. With my guy friends, if I act a certain way I’m a “slut” or get joked about being a prostitute- major double standards! (9316)

I cannot think of any specific instances when I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex (8581)

I played varsity basketball all through high school, but I didn’t play my senior year. That year I just decided to play for fun on a co-ed team. When we played, the guys would never give me the ball because they assumed I didn’t know what I was doing since I was a girl. That frustrated me so much because they didn’t give me a chance to prove to them that I fully understand and know how to plat basketball. 8039

#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

I can think of many instances in which I have been treated well because I am a female. There have been a couple times when I have missed my flight and the person rebooking me was a male. Every time this has happened to me I have been able to rebook with no added charge. From the males I have talked to, this is not normally the case for them. Similarly, I have not had to pay when getting my car serviced at the dealership, despite the fact that it is no longer under warranty. When travelling I never have to worry about my luggage because the male I am with always offers to help me with it, and similarly, all my guy friends look out for me in ways that they do not for their male friends. They are more willing to pick me up, help me with things at my apartment, or buy me lunch/dinner/drinks when we go out. 7110

Although I have had instances of being treated unfairly by men, there have also been many times were I have been treated very well simply because I am a woman. For example, when I went out to a couple bars with one of my friends, guys would often times buy us rounds of drinks. I know for a fact this is because we were women because they weren’t buying any men drinks. (0941)

There are certain things that become available when you are a woman. An example of this is being a woman and walking into a party. Men are extremely accommodating only because I am a woman. Men treat us very well at parties in that we are never without a free drink (even if it is shitty beer) or someone to talk to. 4108

I have been treated particularly well by my brother simply because of our respective genders. Although he is two years younger than I, he has always taken it into his own hands to act as the older brother. He is very protective of me and the guys I meet because I am a girl and I am his sister, and because he is a guy and feels it has been built into his job description to play that role. (4762)

7. One nice gesture men do is to generously pay for meals, especially in the beginning of a relationship. It is also nice to have car doors opened and building doors held open. One instance in particular is I had received an incredibly large package, a package that was larger than my upper body, and was attempting to carry it from P2 of UHALL back to my dorm, McKay. Many men walked by as I struggled to hold and walk my package in uhall. I ended up calling my boyfriend to see if he was available to help. He stopped what he was doing, and immediately came to uhall to help me carry the box to my room! (1112)

Being a woman, and a pretty one, comes with many perks. I never wait in line to get into bars/clubs, I don’t pay to get into those same locations, men take you on dates and pay for dinner, etc. One particular occasion was in New York with my ex boyfriend. We went to this small club and the doorman told my boyfriend that it was $100 each for us to get in, my boyfriend was going to pay until I said absolutely not. That was absurd and I didn’t care that much to get in, I grabbed my boyfriend and began to walk away. The doorman called us back over and said that because I was “hot” he’d let us in for free. As demeaning and ridiculous as that was, at least we didn’t pay $200! 5833

7. An instance of being treated particularly well by a man is when I have been asked to go out on a date. The man acted like a true gentleman and picked me up from my house, opened the doors for me, paid for our movie and meal, and was very respectful. I knew that I was being treated in this special way because I am a woman. (6056)

Men also treat me very well just because I am a lady. They always open the door for me and serve me anything I need. Men are willing to help us with lifting heavy objects, although I am not sure if it is mainly to be helpful or to boost their own ego’s and feel like they are more powerful but either way I like the fact that I don’t have to do it and they are more than happy to help.(4471)

Girls always seem to be treated well based on their looks. Either that or men think that they are delicate and so they have to protect them. Men hold open doors, and they will act slightly more sympathetic towards women in any situation. Also, here at college, girls can always get into parties, whereas only some guys can get in or they have to pay. [1856]

I work on campus in a job that demands heavy lifting. More often than not, the men that I work with will help me with loads. They do not do this for other men, just for the few girls that work with us. (2182) 7. It was unfair treatment, however for the most part the majority of the time girls seem to be treated better due mainly to their sex. We do not usually have to worry so much about paying for certain things (drinks, cover fees at bars or clubs), or wait in line, etc. (6743)

Yes, men tend to go out of their way to help women with what they see as the more masculine or protective roles. For example, at my job I often have to distribute the mail, and more often than not a male employee will ask me if I need help with carrying the larger packages. Also, men have given up their seat for me, opened doors, paid for something (even when we were just friends), and protected me in difficult or scary situations. (0022)

I think there have been many instances in which I have been treated particularly well due to the fact that I am a woman. One of these instances I can think of off the top of my head would be a late night when I was trying desperately to hail a cab, along with many other people. I finally saw a cab, but a man beat me there. The cab driver told the man to get out and gave the cab to me. 1052

I think at parties or in bars males give most of their attention to the women. I’m not sure if I would classify it as “particularly well” because in most cases they buy girls drinks and flirt with them because they have other intentions for later on. 8143 1 I encounter many instances of being treated well because of my sex everyday. Most common instances include having doors opened for me, being able to cut or go first in line, getting free food/discounts, and getting upgrades on anything from drinks to cell phones. Additionally, male friends often pay for my food when I go out with them.(9316)

I was treated particularly well at women’s tribute events on campus. The men serve us food and serenade us. (8581)

Men particularly treat women well when we go out for the night. The best example is when you go to a party. For the majority of the parties, we will be let into a party because we are women. However if you’re with guys, they aren’t allowed in. Once you’re in, guys make sure that you’re having a good time and make sure that you always have a drink in hand. 8039

#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

I have only been rejected by one guy, and of course, that is the one guy that I have always wanted the most, and still do. It happened when I was around 15-16 and the guy said it was because I was too young for him and he thought of me as more of a sister. Because this guy is a family friend, he was very kind and considerate about it, and the incident has never been brought up since. He simply told me that he was sorry but he did not feel that way about me. It of course embarrassed and upset me, but this was not because he was inconsiderate about his delivery. 7110

Typically I am the type of person who sits back and waits for people to seek me out, so consequently I have not had the opportunity to be rejected by somebody I was attracted to. However, I have rejected people that were attracted to me. When this has happened in the past, I will typically try to keep the “relationship” as platonic as possible (introducing them as a friend) to try to subtlety hint to them that I am not interested. If that doesn’t work then I will tell them very clearly that I am not interested but that we can be friends. I try to be as respectful and sensitive with people’s feelings as possible because I know how painful it can be to be rejected. (0941)

I was seeing a guy and he told me a bullshit lie that I saw right through. He told me that I was the perfect girl for him, but that there was something that was not working out that he couldn’t explain and this unexplainable reason was why we couldn’t date. This was false, I was not the perfect girl for him and THAT is why he did not want to date me. I would rather hear that I am just not perfect for a guy rather than have him try to sugar coat the rejection. 4108

tired and then gave an alternative for getting intimate, like even just cuddling. It seemed he never thought about how his responses affected me. (2451)

8. I dated my ex for almost two years, and eventually we broke up because the relationship just was not working anymore. We had been very close but had started to take out frustrations and stress in our own lives at each other. After we broke up I tried to keep the relationship in my life and to keep it platonic, but this ex did not want to make the effort and rejected the attempt. Their behavior was rude and insensitive, however it could have been their coping mechanism for dealing with the break up. It was hurtful, and the situation definitely could have been approached differently in a more mature way. (6743)

I have never been one to put myself out there to be rejected, so I don’t have a story for that. BUT one of my ex boyfriends cheated on me and left me for the girl - that’s a pretty big rejection! Of course cheating in itself is disrespectful, but I actually found out through a friend which made it even worse. When I confronted him, he turned it around on me and was verbally abusive. He could have left the relationship decently, ending it when he began to have feelings for someone else instead of cheating and lying, anything would have been more considerate! 5833

8. I have been rejected by the opposite sex just by being ignored. In one case, I expressed to a man that I was interested in him and he said he felt the same way. We spent a couple of months getting to know each other and everything seemed to be going very well. Out of nowhere he stopped returning my calls and messages and I never heard from him again. This was the strangest form of rejection to me because I never understood why he suddenly had a change of heart. I think his behavior was very inconsiderate and I would have appreciated it if he would have discussed his feelings with me instead of giving me the silent treatment. (6056) In one instance, I met a guy who I found very attractive physically/emotionally. We seemed to really hit it off; however, there was one very big detail that I tried to understand that stood in the way: he was a recovering heroin addict. I met him because I have a family member in recovery for the same thing, and the two were sober companions. Based on my family history, I was very understanding of this guy’s situation, even though I could not personally relate. It seemed all too familiar that this wonderful guy had so much baggage because that seems to be the pattern with the guys I have dated, however, their issues came out during or after we dated, but this guy’s issues were out in the open from the get go. I figured, this could be really good because AA teaches one to be honest, so I thought perhaps I wouldn’t have to deal with going through a relationship and finding out the guys was messed up after I had invested time and emotion. We went on one date, where he told me everything, and was astonished at how well I took it. Really it did not phase me because there was so much more he had to offer. We planned to meet again the following week because we found so much in common and really like each other’s company, despite his dark past. This, however, was the last I saw of him. He called me two days later saying that he could not talk to me or see me ever again without any explanation. I was devastated because I felt like I never met someone who was so honest and connected with me emotionally like that, but at the same time I had to be realistic and understand that he was a recovering drug addict and I was probably living in a fantasy thinking that it would be totally normal. He came back into contact with me a few days later, and then went completely nuts on me a couple days after that. I wouldn’t say he was rude or insensitive, rather he was just blurting out contradictions to each of his points. He would say he needs me in his life (which was a addict red flag right there) and then he would say he was crazy and he urged me to stay away. At the time I was actually devastated. I knew that I shouldn’t have involved myself with someone who had that kind of baggage, but I always think to give the benefit of doubt and end up getting hurt. Instead of speaking fast and unclear, I think he could have said his honest feelings and say he was not ready based on his recovery. (4762)

I didn’t realize until much later that he was just trying to use me. But he had gotten my number and we were speaking regularly then out of nowhere our conversations died down and his facebook status changes to “in a relationship”. With another friend we were close for a while just as friends then we started spending more time together and we kissed a few times, then we stopped talking to each other and he got a girlfriend who wasn’t me. I feel like I could have gotten a warning that they were interested in someone else and why I wasn’t girlfriend worthy rather than always wondering what could have been. It kind of felt like a slap in the face, when instead it could have felt like a soft brush across the cheek.(4471)

In high school, my boyfriend had broken up with me and I was extremely upset and I started crying. He then told all of his friends that I was a bitch just because I was crying and he said I was just to “make him feel guilty.” I do not understand how that was doing anything wrong because of that. After that he ignored me and asked our teacher to move him in class so he did not sit at my table anymore. I thought that this was inconsiderate, rude and insensitive. He knew that I was upset and he gave me no reason for what he did and he knew that his actions were only making me feel worse.[1856]

I had a crush on a guy over the summer. We worked together so we saw each other almost every day. We got along really well and spent a lot of time together. I told one of the girls that we work with that I liked him and she, of course, let him know. As soon as he knew that I liked him, he simply stopped talking to me. I thought it was really rude and that he could have just let me know that he just wanted to be friends. It was just a little crush. I would have gotten over it and we could have stayed friends. (2182)

I was rejected by the opposite sex when a past boyfriend broke up with me. His reason for doing so was because he felt that I was “too predictable and not mysterious enough.” This happened sophomore year of high school and I can still remember every detail because it came as such a shock and was very confusing. I think he could have broken up with me in a more considerate way by explaining why he felt this way. His behavior was insensitive and I was hurt by what he had said. (0022)

8. In high school, I dated one of the “popular” guys from the soccer team. I loved knowing that out of all girls at our school, he chose me. It was a big confidence boost. However, in our relationship he ended up cheating on me with his female best friend numerous times. I still wanted to give our relationship a chance, because I was hurt that he didn’t like me the way I liked him and I was not used to boys not liking me. We took a brief break, and then would reconvene after a week to see how we were. After a week of no talking, texting, or phone calls, he called me again as if nothing had happened. I couldn’t believe that he was going on as if nothing happened. I asked him if he had thought about our relationship and how he was feeling. He said, “Well, I thought about you [during our break], but I didn’t miss you.” He was completely rude and hurtful, and I immediately broke up with him. (1112)

I suppose this instance would be with a guy that I was casually seeing that became suddenly cold to me. I was still really attracted to him, but he sort of just cut things short without even saying anything to me. This definitely wasn’t very considerate of my feelings, even though it wasn’t really serious. It really made me feel bad. I spent to much time wondering why, and wondering what was wrong with me. I wish he could’ve just told me why so I could know and move on.1052

This particular boys way of rejecting me was by pursuing another one of my friends. I’m not sure if it was on purpose because I don’t know if he knew I was interested in him so I wouldn’t consider his behavior rude or insensitive but it still hurt. I guess he could have been more considerate if he had asked me if it was okay to go for my friend before hand. 8143

1.) I have never put myself “out there” enough to be outright rejected although I did have a small crush on a friend and we were talking/cuddling for about 2 months and then we just stopped talking. Communication officially ended on his end but I didn’t decide to pursue it further. When we see each other now we act like nothing ever happened (and nothing ever really did) and my crush on him withered and died about 2 weeks after we stopped talking. I don’t consider his behavior inconsiderate, just maybe rude because we were talking as friends for so long, but that happens so I was by no means hurt or upset.(9316)

I felt rejected by a man at a party when I walked up to him and told him he was very attractive but received no compliment back. I felt like if he found me attractive or interesting he would have said something back to me. He only say “oh thanks I appreciate it.” He was nice about it but I still felt rejected. (8581)

Normally I don’t put myself too far out there. However, when someone of the opposite sex is interested in me and I don’t reciprocate the feelings, then I tell them that I don’t feel the same way about them and that I think we’re better off friends. 8039

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

If I wanted the relationship to progress further sexually, I would be very flirty and touchy. I would hold his hand, sit very close to him, talk very close to his face, and look directly into his eyes. If he still didn’t do anything at that point, and I was confident that he felt strongly about me but was just too nervous or shy, I would probably make the first move by kissing him first. 7110

If I was on a date and wanted physical relations I would first give the man glances or looks that were suggestive. Locking eyes and giving a sexual undertone to the look I believe is very powerful and persuasive. Another thing that usually works is touching a guy randomly on the arm, torso, or leg for a very brief instant. Making that very small initial physical contact I think opens the gateway to further physical activity. 4108

I probably wouldn’t influence this person to become physically intimate because I am shy about making any sort of first move. Since we have been seeing each other for a month and still no sort of initiation had been made I might initiate a conversation about it, but even then they always take that the wrong way like I want to date them or something, but really it is just to gage if we are just friends or if there is an attraction there. (4762) To influence this person in this situation, I would do a few things. I would first and foremost always be physically close to him. I would stand or sit in close proximity to him, as a nonverbal hint that I want to be closer with him. I would then be making flirty comments, to let him know that I want us to be more than just friends. The third thing would be to be very touchy-feely, giving him the impression that I feel very comfortable with being intimate with him. 2106

I may make subtle jokes, but mostly I would just be very physically close to him with encouraging body language. I would touch his arm when he makes me laugh, stand in front of him when saying good-bye allowing him to lean in to kiss me, or when walking next to him I would let my arms dangle so he could hold my hand, rather than crossing my arms like I usually do. 5833

9. Situation 1: If I wanted things to move at a faster pace I would be very flirtatious with the man through my words and also body language. If this did not work I would go as far as kissing him. If he seemed uninterested and unwilling to reciprocate the actions I would accept that perhaps we are better off as friends. (6056) Eyes say a lot about the person. With the right looks and head to toe glances he better get the picture that it’s appropriate to get a move on. I would giggle at everything he said and give him the shoulder touch when I think he says something funny. I would physically and non-sexually be close to him and touch him. (4471)

9. I would participate in flirtation, as well as make it known that I am interested without seeming too eager. I would be playful and even a little affectionate, while maybe participating in some subtle physical contact such as touching his arm while talking or leaning into the conversation. (6743)

It depends on the situation, if I was under the influence, I might be a little bit more forward and initiate a kiss. However, if not, I would probably just sit close to him or look him in the eye. If he did not get the hint I don’t think I would try anything I would probably just keep being more touchy with him.[1856]

I would probably make it very clear, nonverbally, that I wanted to hold his hand and kiss him. I would probably touch his shoulder with my shoulder as well as allow my hand to brush his. I would also try to be flirty and smile at him a lot. (2182)

I would try to encourage intimacy by sitting close to him, casually brushing his hand, and giving him flirty hints so that he would feel comfortable to make the first move. I would try to show him that I was very comfortable with him and willing to take our relationship to the next level. (0022)

I would become very touchy feeling, touching his hand and arm, leaning into him if we are walking side by side. I’d sit and stand close to him in general, just to have close physical proximity. I would flirt more than usual, and try to drop hints about how attractive I find him.(1112)

I would definitely start dropping hints like flirting and touching and giving looks. I am usually not really the person to make the first move. I think often girls worry about making the first move, because if the guy isn’t already doing it, girls are worried that the guy doesn’t want it. 1052

I would flirt a lot more, both physically and mentally and if he still didn’t take the hint than I would probably just tell him how I was feeling. It purely depends on the way he is acting towards to me. I’m not one to make the first move. 8143 1.) I would first stand closer than normal or put myself in situations where we would have the option of touching or not and let him decide what to do (ie. learning how to bowl, throw a football, or shoot a free throw, or even how to play a video game- what ever he’s interested in). I would also touch his arm when laughing or pointing something interesting out. Depending on my mood, and if I’m feeling flirty, I’ll ask him the time and grab his arm to look at his watch.(9316)

I would try to walk closely to him and bump hands so that he would hold my hand, or tell him that I am cold so that he would put his arms around me. At the end of the night I would probably kiss him first if he doesn’t kiss me (8581)

I would try to stay physically close to him. For example, when we’re talking I would stand or sit very near him and touch his arm or leg while we’re talking and laughing. I would also make suggestive comments or flirty remarks during our conversation while maintaining eye contact. 8039

#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

What I would naturally do, not intentionally, would pay less attention to what he was saying. I would be a lot less involved in the conversation, avoid eye contact, and refrain from ever getting too close where the opportunity for him to touch or kiss me might arise. 7110

Situation 2: I would remain friendly but standoffish, which is my natural aura anyway. Like situation 1, this scenario has also played out for me in reality, and by the tone of my voice or my body language, I’m able to make it very clear that I’m not interested. I’ll behave more casually and less flirtatiously, and maintain a more friendly atmosphere by disregarding or shutting off any romantic attempts by them. [3546]

I would be friendly, yet make it clear that I did not want to go any further. I would keep enough distance from him while walking and sitting. Also, I would probably not look at him as often as I normally would. I would be very aware of what my body was suggesting and make sure that I stayed pretty closed off. (2182)

I would have a hard time in this situation solely out of fear of hurting the guy’s feelings. That doesn’t mean I would give in because I wouldn’t want to hurt them, but I would definitely ease up on eye contact and perhaps nervously laugh. I know the best thing to do would just be to say “hey I’m not attracted to you in that way,” but I probably wouldn’t be as honest as I should be and make up excuses until he got the hint. (4762) 10. I would start steering the date into a more platonic area, and avoid any topics of intimacy/avoid participating in flirtation. I would definitely keep the situation friendly and direct it away from any romantic tone. (6743)

I would definitely do things like talk about ex-boyfriends or drop other subtle hints that would make this person not want to move things to the next level. If I felt like it was still heading in that direction, I would make up a reason for why I had to leave. I would try to be subtle and nice about everything, but if the person couldn’t take a hint, I would have to tell them directly that I wasn’t interested in more than friendship. 1052

In this case, I would start to make excuses, whether it be about having to go pick up a friend or a family emergency, the excuses and explanations just start to roll. If the guy keeps trying to come up with ways to solve all my excuses and can’t take a hint, I come up with more excuses and promise to see them another time. After getting out of the situation, then I will later explain to them the parameters of the relationship I want with them {i.e. none at all, friendship, etc} and see how they react. (0941)

I would make sure to do the exact opposite of my answer above. I would walk with my arms crossed, I wouldn’t lean in for a hug at the end of the night, I would tell him he doesn’t need to walk me to my car, I might even bring up an ex in conversation if he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint - guys hate when you seem like you’re still interested in someone else. 5833

10. Situation 2: I would probably be less flirtatious and be very careful of my body language. I would then start a discussion with him saying how great it is that we are friends and how I am not looking for a relationship at the moment. (6056)

I would still be very nice to him but I would keep distance. I would minimize my laughter and maybe not make too much eye contact. Hint to him that I’m not interested in any way more than just a new friendship. If he tried to make any kind of move I would back away and let him know that I don’t feel comfortable with what he is doing. I am usually really passive anyways. Even when I like someone I tend not to be good at hinting it to them, so he probably won’t be attracted to me anyways because he won’t think I am attracted to him.(4471)

It depends on the situation, if I was under the influence, I might be a little bit more forward and initiate a kiss. However, if not, I would probably just sit close to him or look him in the eye. If he did not get the hint I don’t think I would try anything I would probably just keep being more touchy with him.[1856]

I would try to discourage intimacy by being very standoffish, not sitting too close to him, and making sure to mention that we were just friends. I would walk with my arms crossed in order to avoid accidentally touching his hand and I would not let the conversation lead to anything romantic or intimate. I would try to be very respectful of his feelings, but also be very clear so that I do not lead him into thinking we could become something more than friends. (0022)

I would try to avoid being close to him at all costs. I wouldn’t want any physical contact, and I would try to subtly indicate that I’m ready to go home alone at the end of the date. I would flirt less, and hopefully show I am not as interested in order to diffuse his desire for sexual involvement. (1112)

I would definitely do things like talk about ex-boyfriends or drop other subtle hints that would make this person not want to move things to the next level. If I felt like it was still heading in that direction, I would make up a reason for why I had to leave. I would try to be subtle and nice about everything, but if the person couldn’t take a hint, I would have to tell them directly that I wasn’t interested in more than friendship. 1052

I would first physically distance myself from him and maybe start flirting with another guy in front of him. If that still didn’t work I would ask him to take me home or in some cases just straight up tell him I’m not interested. 8143

1.) I would make a conscious effort to smile less and look at their eyes when they talk. If he made a move I would also try to say something like “I’m so happy that we’re such great friends. I had a great time tonight, and I’m sorry if I led you on but I didn’t realize that we had different intentions from this relationship. I love having you as a friend and wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of that.”(9316)

I would reject all of his advances and tell him if he does anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. I would eventually have to tell him that this isn’t going anywhere so that no one gets hurt any further. (8581)

I would do the opposite of the of above. While we’re talking I would make sure what I’m saying can’t be taken as a double meaning. Also, my body language would change so that I look more closed off. I would sit farther away and try not to make too much eye contact. 8039


For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

…it seems like your attention is elsewhere. Although women are typically pegged as being the jealous one’s, guys get jealous when they feel that women are giving their attention to other men, friends, etc.(0941)

I look at other guys, when I am texting while I am with him and he doesn’t know who it is, when I say that I will be hanging out with one of my guy friends, or when I discuss any guy that I have previously dated. 7110

  1. 11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when…another suitor may be involved. (4762)

They see you flirting with other people or when other men give you compliments right in front of them. 4108

When a guy texts me, even if it’s just someone from school asking a homework question. 5833

11. … A woman has very close male friends. (6056) I talk about another guy. No matter what his relation to me is.(4471)

11. you give another guy more attention, even unintentionally. (6743)

You have a lot of guy friends[1856]

They see other men looking at their girlfriend. (2182)

another guy ignores him while talking to me. (1112)

I talk about another guy, either in emotional or physical terms. Saying that I had a “deep conversation” with another guy or that another guy was “very attractive” can make a man jealous. (0022)

When other men give me attention. 1052

They are drunk and see you talking with another guy. 8143 1.) … you express any interest in another guy (whether platonic or romantically).(9316)

When other men give his girlfriend attention (8581)

…you give other guys attention instead of him.

#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

Is usually quite surprised but pleased when a female initiates it first, and they sometimes like to take the credit for initiating the first move later on. 7110 12. is the initiator for the most part. (6743)

12. … Is always caught off guard when the girl is the initiator. [3546]

Should make the first move. 8143

12. Has no desire to take things slowly. (7071)

Usually does the initiating. Men will make the first move, however women do things in order to get the guy to make the move, such as dress a certain way, or flirt with them a certain amount. So, I think this is equal participation. 4108

…typically tries to use emotions and notions of “love” to get what they want.(0941)

  1. 12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...has a lot more room to express it whether they get the answer they are looking for or not. It is like a “I might as well ask, there is a 50% chance she will say yes so why not!” (4762)

Seems very nervous around me and is shocked if I make the first move 5833

12. … Is usually the one to initiate the actions. (6056) has already planned it in their heads before meeting the person.(4471) 1.) …is usually the one who starts it off and takes control.(9316)

Will try to go as far as possible [1856]

Know what girls want to hear and will say it just to get what they want. (2182)

Usually does the initiating. I feel more comfortable when the guy takes the initiative, but sometimes they want to take your relationship to the next level too quickly. (0022)

12. is usually the first to initiate it, both sober and intoxicated. (1112)

Almost always does the initiating, in my personal experience. 1052

Want to dive right in (8581)

… tends to get carried away and move too fast. 8039

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

The relationship that females have with each other.7110

girls feelings. 8143

The fact that when I say “no” I actually mean it. 2106

13. expressing emotions. (6743)

How a woman feels! 4747

Verbally communicating what they feel. (7071)

  1. 13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...girl’s insecurities. (4762)

Reading my signs, for example “I want him to kiss me” or “Please do NOT kiss me” 5833

13. … Understanding women’s multiple channels of self-expression. Women express themselves in more ways than just their words. (6056) the fact that girls think about sex too. We just don't let it totally influence our choices.(4471)

How girls can get attached [1856]

How important communication is to a relationship. They have to share about themselves just as women do to keep the relationship alive. (2182)

Knowing how a girl truly feels. Men often do not understand the body language that a girl is demonstrating. They often confuse the meaning and do not act in accordance with what the woman truly desired. (0022)

13. women's emotional needs and attachment(1112)

how to talk to girls about a problem they might be having. 1052 . 1.) …what I mean when I don’t outright say something or anything too subtle.(9316)

Women’s “time of the month” (8581)

…communicating how they feel. 8039

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... 14. needs to work on. (6743)

Is really good at as long as you tell them that you are interested in that sort of thing. Males sometimes forget how much females love romance, especially if you have been in a relationship for a while.7110

14. … Is either really good at, or can’t do it at all. [3546]

  1. 14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...is either good at or bad at. I don’t think this is a generalization that can be said for all. I think some are naturally romantic and it is well-received, others are faking it to get what they want which is not romantic at all, and then some are just awkward and nervous to be romantic but they desire to be. (4762)

…needs to work on. There is a tendency to hypersexualize and leave out any component of feeling, emotional, or intimacy.(0941)

Does well when they are extremely into a girl, but does very poorly when they think a girl is just alright. Also guys are very romantic when a girl is hard to get and very unromantic when they think they have a girl in the palm of their hand. 4108

Does to get you to like or date him, but once he’s “got” you, you need to ask for it. 5833

14. … Has had trouble doing from my experience. (6056)

does well. Men are definitely romantics.(4471)

Is good at when they want something in return[1856] Needs to remember! I feel that college boys have lost the meaning and importance of romance. Taking a girl to dinner is not a crime! (2182)

Can be very good at. I feel that at the beginning of a relationship men are extremely romantic, but once you have been dating for a while they tend to lose the romance. This has happened in a few of my relationships and it can be very frustrating because you think that romance is one of the guy’s qualities when really he was just being romantic to win you over. (0022)

14. does really well if they genuinely care for you. (1112)

struggles with, at my age. 1052

can have trouble being good at it. 8143

1.) …can be really good at or just fail miserably (being too sexual, or not romantic enough- umm. Hello! CPK or chipotle= not romantic!)(9316)

Do not know how to do (8581)

…should make an effort to become better at. 8039

#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

Asking questions about what kinds of activities she likes to do, what kinds of food she likes to eat, and whether or not she likes to go out/drink. 7110

15. … Asking questions about their past experiences with other men, or seeing how sexually far the girl is willing to go on the first few dates. [3546]

...presenting opportunities for that person to “mess up” or leave. Guys will often act like they don’t care about a situation, when in reality it is a test.(0941)

15. seeing how well you get along with the people that he is around the most. (6743)

Making us hang out with the “guys”, or if he’s really active and adventurous, seeing how you act on a hike, etc. I don’t find that men test too often, these are subtle and I don’t think they would look at it as a test like women do. 5833

15. … Seeing how the female will act when in the presence of his friends and family. (6056)

#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...playing hard to get in the beginning, i.e. waiting a number of minutes to respond to a text or responding with a short message, blowing them off or acting busy to see how far the other person will go to continue trying to get together, talking about other guys/girls to see if the guy/girl gets jealous. (4762)

I’m not sure. If I have been put through a test then I wasn’t aware of it happening. (4471) flirting with someone else. 8143

Seeing how much their girlfriends will do either sexually or do things for him [1856] Pushing them sexually to see how far they will go. Then they will judge the girl based on how far they are willing to go. (2182) 1.) …asking subtle questions about opinions or preferences and analyzing the answer given. Also by vetting the woman with his friends and/or family.(9316) Asking you to hang out with their friends, do activities/hobbies that they enjoy, tease you, and introduce you to their friends that are girls. Guys tend to test whether or not you are compatible and will participate in what they like to do. They also like to see how you react to their friends. (0022)

15. seeing if the girlfriend will engage with family at his extended family functions. (1112)

seeing how girls will react to their female friends, testing the limits there. 1052

Setting them up to see if she would cheat (8581)

…putting them in situations that present temptations. 8039

#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

Females playing sports, getting muscular, and running for a position in politics. 7110

16. … Picking up the check, house chores, and childcare. [3546]

indiscretions. 8143

…any situation that threatens their perception of what it is to be a man. Whether it is as simple as opening a door or being the breadwinner—men do not want their masculinity threatened by women being totally independent.(0941)

The idea of kids. Maybe they feel that women can work too, but it’s the mom’s job to take care of the kids. 5833

16. … Who should have a higher income. Men always believe that since they stereotypically hold the role of the “provider” they should have a higher income. (6056) stereotypic jokes about where women belong.(4471)

16. what doesn’t benefit them. (6743)

  1. 16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...authority in a relationship; guys want to feel like they have the upper hand. (4762)

Who is the primary care taker for the children[1856]

Childcare. I wish more fathers would feel adequate when it comes to taking care of children and making decisions about their children. (2182)

Anything that they see is male-specific. This can include paying for meals, standing up for a woman, or helping a woman with handy work, but not housework. (0022)

16. running errands and cleaning up. (1112) 1.) …being the breadwinner, language (is use of bitch, whore, skank, etc…), work (stay at home vs full time job), and house work.(9316)

the idea of a man’s role as the breadwinner and the female’s role as a mother. 1052

Manual labor (8581)

…domestic activities such as cleaning the house or making lunches for kids. 8039

#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

Expresses very strongly when it comes to the girl that they are in a relationship with. 7110

17. … Shares in common with the female sex. [3546]

needs to work on. 8143

17. portrays more than women, even if women are just as possessive. (6743)

…needs to work on, but so do women. I think it can be found equally in both sexes.(0941)

Are less subtle about than women, men mark their territory 5833

17. … Shares in common with women but tries not to show it. (6056)

feels about their girlfriends. Men are possessive about their girlfriends and any women they feel close to, whether it be a sister, cousin, or mom. (4471)

#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...does not lack; however, they carry it out in a different way than women do. Men often get possessive when another man is trying to come into his territory and act really possessive of their significant other, but they also seem to get possessive when the girl has other priorities than him. (4762)

Likes but hates at the same time.[1856] Has gotten better about it. Men have definitely become less possessive over the years, but I think both sexes have a long way to come in regards to this. (2182)

Has in common with women. However, some men show their possessiveness more/less than others. (0022)

17. definitely shares with women. (1112)

displays just as much as females do. 1052

1.) …tries to hide, but is similar to women on.(9316)

Is something that men attribute when in a relationship (8581)

…shares in common with women but try not to express it. 8039

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

Places this quality about females above anything else when they are looking for someone to hookup with. However, when it comes to finding someone they want to have a relationship with, physical attractiveness becomes less important.7110

…usually places it as their first criteria for which girls they are going to pursue.(0941)

Cares about it a lot. Men definitely have a huge focus on a woman’s physicality. 4108

usually more concerned with. 8143

Is driven by it 5833

18. … Focuses more on physical attractiveness than women do. (6056) 18. usually value it more than do women. (6743)

pays a lot of attention to it. They base their attraction to women based on the lady’s physical appearance. (4471)

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...is just as guilty as my sex. (4762) 1.) …places a higher emphasis on appearance for women that women do for men.(9316) Only care about it{1856} Is usually pretty shallow about this. Men are distracted by women’s bodies. (2182) 1.) …tries to hide, but is similar to women on.(9316) Focuses on it. The opposite sex is

always noticing how attractive a woman is, even if they have a girlfriend. Men are more focused on the physical instead of the emotional. (0022)

18. is driven and very focused on it. (1112)

places it high on the priority list, but then again, don’t females as well? 1052

Likes girls with big boobs and a big butt. (8581)

…tends to focus on it instead of other qualities of a woman. 8039

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

Values but doesn’t think are as important as females do.7110

19. … Usually need to achieve on a higher level in order to make themselves more desirable to women. [3546]

…try to obtain because they adamantly believe that those are the only things women really care about.(0941)

care about but not as much as physical appearance. 8143

May use to impress women, but don’t care about it in women. 5833

19. … Believe impresses women.(6056)

19. strive to accumulate. (6743)

care about for themselves. Men get much of their confidence in how successful they are. (4471)

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...feel inclined to posses to feel dominant in front of women and among guys to beat out competition. (4762) 1.) …use to stoke their ego amongst their fellow men and attract women.(9316) Are obsessed with[1856] Thinks that women desire. It can be nice, but is not the only thing women look for in a relationship. (2182)

Feels that they need to accomplish. Men feel that they can win women over by being successful and spoiling them with gifts. Money and success can also add to their ego and how they portray themselves. (0022)

19. strive to achieve in order to maintain confidence in supporting either their girlfriend, wife, or family. (1112)

places it high on the priority list, but then again, don’t females as well? 1052

don’t place as high on their priority list as women do. 1052

are what men want to get out of life. (8581)

…worry about and think that’s all women want. 8039

#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

Makes negative comments about my looks, intelligence, or capabilities. 7110

20. … Underestimates my ability to do certain things or make certain decisions, because of my gender. Also, when they expect certain things, because of my gender. [3546]

Only pursues someone for sex. 8143

Doesn’t like me enough to date me. I get attention from men, but it ends at the physical attraction. Men want me physically, but no one wants to actually spend time with me and get to know me. 4108

20. do not take into consideration my feelings, only their own. (6743)

  1. 20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...sits in a room and talks about how much of a slut the girl was who he slept with the night before. I know I would be ashamed if it were ever me being trashed, and then they say, “well she is a slut she doesn’t count” and I think that is wrong because no one deserves to be objectified in that manner. (4762)

Doesn’t say what they mean or mean what they say/ doesn’t keep their word 5833

20. … Does not take my feelings and emotions into consideration (6056) stops being friends with a girl once they realize she won’t sleep with you.(4471)

Talks badly about girls just to seem cool around their friends.[1856]

Does not even give me a chance. I wish men wanted to get to know me and spend time with me without wanting to go anywhere sexually right away. (2182)

Disrespects me. This includes making offensive jokes, underestimating my abilities, acting rude or impolite, and being untruthful or unfaithful. (0022)

20. just overall doesn’t care and disregards how I feel. (1112)

uses me. 1052 1.) …underestimates my talents, abilities, intelligence, power, influence, etc and only sees me as a lesser person/woman, not as an equal. (9316)

It hurts the most when men only want me for sex/ own personal gain. (8581)

…underestimates my abilities just because I am a woman. 8039