Spring 2010 - men's comments

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Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework

Comments by Men

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Next class session. WORTH 10 POINTS

This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 5 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions. You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it.

Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/ ).

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, (women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.

Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Men" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Male Comments file.

Due to the small number of men in this class, insert your responses with the comments from men in previous semesters of this class:

#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling

1. I remember talking to a girl about a guy should had been dating and she wanted to know my opinion about their whole situation. She went on to tell me about how he sent her a text message saying "ill come over in a little bit." She wanted to know what that meant from a guys prospective. I very confused because I knew that the guy meant he was going to be at her place in very short amount of time. She started coming up with these very elaborate explanations of the text message. I think a lot of times girls over analyze situations. (9792)

The most common thing that puzzles me is women’s complete lack of confidence. I have met countless women that were in my opinion absolutely gorgeous and when I would tell them this they would say, “Thanks but I am not good looking.” I am not sure if they are serious or are just trying to find a way to have their confidence boosted on a regular basis but if you get told by multiple people you are good looking that obviously means you are. (0943)

Yes, a situation has occurred with the opposite sex that I did find deeply puzzling and incomprehensible. When I was about seventeen a girl called me and asked me if I could give her some male advice about an issue she was having. The issue was that her friend had dated a guy who was her friend before they went out. However, now that her friend had broken up with this guy she wanted to know if she should still talk to him since their relationship ended on not such good terms. I told her that she was being ridiculous and that this guy was her friend before they started dating and she should still be friends with him regardless on the terms of their relationship ending. I felt like this was a function of gender because I feel that girls care too much about their friend’s feelings and that if this was a guy in the situation, he wouldn’t need to ask anyone, he would just do what he wanted. (4442)

1. One of my friends has had an on and off again relationship with this guy for years now. She, and everyone that knows her well will attribute most of her perpetual strife to the complications caused directly by their interactions and yet she refuses to let him go. They stay in contact through text, and she insists that him responding to her is a sign that he still has strong emotional feelings for her and refuses to accept the possibility that he is only trying to be friends with her. This sort of self-destructive behavior seems to be a relatively common and observable, albeit sad, part of the female psyche. (9701)

1. My first year in college, I met a girl who had been in a relationship with her boyfriend for over three years. She claimed that he was the best guy ever and that she was really into him. What I do not understand is how she could cheat on him with me and lie to him on the phone about being with me if she truly loved him and took their relationship serious. This experience has led me to believe that girls are good liars and are good at projecting the image that they want serious relationships even if they really don’t. I think that a lot of girls, at least at young ages, have boyfriends and think that they want to be in relationships, but they do not really know what they want. They do not want to admit that they are attracted to other guys and they will often cheat. For girls, I believe that they feel it is important to protect their images and not be perceived as a slut but they will cheat if it does not affect their reputation. (7753)

1. There have been many instances in the past in which my girlfriend has expressed sudden jealousy and anger when I give attention to other people. Obviously, one could expect interactions with other girls to be a problem, with fears of undue flirting. However, this also occurs when I am giving attention to my male friends as well. While this could possibly be due in part to personality, I am convinced that it must mainly be an issue of gender. For one, I have had similar experiences with other women in my life ( e.g. my mom). Also, I cannot think of any male friend, family member, or acquaintance who has ever remotely displayed such a reaction. The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes. With my mom, it seems to be more of a surpressed indignation over the family's general lack of appreciation for her efforts as a provider and organizer. When times are good, there's no mention of any problem. However, as soon as a dish is broken, or a trash bag is not taken out, there is hell to pay for how hard she strives to help the family "survive", and how little I or my father do to assist in the campaign. (0645)

1. A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things. (6163)

1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)

1.) A situation that I found puzzling was in regards to how the opposite sex didn't understand the certain expectation of remaining just “friends”. I found this baffling because there is a societal stereotype that only men cannot handle this distinction. Both sexes can feel the same emotions, but this particular female's actions went above and beyond her emotions and thoughts. Had I known what was in store for me, I would have happily avoided the situation in the first place. (7098)

1. 11) One of the most puzzling things I have never been able to figure out about girls is their most favorite response, the two words “I’m fine”. In the past I would always just believe the girl is fine when she says this and would continue on with my day. Now a days I now know that it’s just code word for “I’m not fine”. Imagine if they just added one word. I’ve noticed girls always say this while attempting to hold back any emotions they’re feeling, act reserved with their body language, and also put on a poker face. They’re good at it, but after bad experiences it’s easy to see past that. Another baffling thing about girls that I have to add is their need to travel to the bathroom in packs. I honestly cannot think of any reason why they need bathroom pals when going to the bathroom is supposed to be a personal thing and usually done alone. This is one of the biggest mysteries to men. (5899)

#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different. I like how women are much more understanding than men and tend to have motherly traits. They are much more nurturing and understanding with problems and pay attention to detail. On the other hand I do not like their indecisiveness in certain situations. I also do not like the fact that they always seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster and can rarely find an even ground.4247

2. What I like about the opposite sex: Most often than not females tend to smell a whole lot better than males; they tend to be nurturing towards others that they feel they are not in competition with; they tend to be more attractive than us males; they tend to try to be clean and organized in comparison with males. What I dislike about the opposite sex: tend to be a little more anxious and stress out more than males. They also tend to over analyze situations and think that they are something that they are not. (5433)

What I like about women is: they are overall far more caring, their overall appearance, they are more family-orientated, they remember the small details, and they have a tendency to hold grudges against friends. What I dislike about women is: they have a tendency to nag, they like to complain rather than problem solve, they have a tendency to be insecure for no apparent reason. (0943)

In general, what I like about the opposite sex is that they are much more understanding and easy to talk to. If I was having a personal problem it is much easier for me to talk to a girl than a guy. I feel that girls are much less judgmental than guys and they give advice based on personal experiences, where as guys just give advice to fit the problem. Also, another thing that I like about the opposite sex is that they are not as confrontational as males. If a girl has a problem they will try to fix that problem with as little confrontation as possible. What I dislike about the opposite sex is the drama and the amount of gossip that goes on between them. Girls have way too much drama with each other and the amounts of rumors that are made up between them are ridiculous. Lastly, one thing I don’t like about the opposite sex is their constant need of reassurance. Women constantly need to be reminded that you care for them, or are thinking about them, which can get pretty annoying after a while. (4442)

2. At a basic level, the way girls look/present themselves is something I like about them. I would argue that girls in general are more attractive than guys, even from a purely objective standpoint. Also I think that girls are often more organized than males, which is obviously a positive. Things like their different perspective on life, and nurturing personalities are also positive. Things I don’t like about women: nagging, they often try to change people in an—for lack of a better word—invasive way, and women tend to be more insecure than what seems to be healthy. (9701)

2. I like the opposite sex because for the most part, women are sexually, physically and emotionally attractive. They smell good, dress sexy; they have nice bodies and cute voices. They are beautiful when they laugh, cry and smile. Women care for men and have the ability to make men feel special in ways that other men can not. I dislike how women get jealous and have a need for constant validation and security from men to feel good about them selves. I also dislike how women feel the need to put on a front as if they do not want to hook up with guys that they are sexually attracted to. Why must they force men to do all of the courting (doing all the “dirty work” and taking social risks making the first move) in order to achieve something that we both desire (sex)? (7753) 2. Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed. In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending arguement with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males. (0645)

2 .There are a number of things that I like about females. The sex appeal they have to me is one of the top things. Also, the maternal instincts they have are also something I like a lot considering my close relationship with my mother. They often bring a very different point of view of a given situation that their male counterpart would not. I dislike the way that they can be very “catty” with other females. I feel males see other males as competition to better them self whereas females just see other females as threats so they try to tear them down with words and assumptions of them. I also dislike their need for constant commitment even before any real relationship status has been established. (6163)

2. I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)

2.) In general, characteristics that I find appealing about the opposite sex mostly pertain to personal upkeep and aesthetics. That being said, there is more than just physical attraction. I appreciate the maternal and nurturing actions women tend to take over their male counterparts. I tend to dislike the amount of communication most women expect in order to feel secure. (7098)

2) The things I enjoy about girls have to do with both their physicality and personality. On the physical side I love just about everything about them. Whereas personality wise there are certain qualities I love about girls. Generally I love how girls are spunky, out there, and extremely open. They are usually clean; smell great, and always organized. Whereas things I dislike about girls are their unwillingness to drop grudges, their love for cliques, how deceiving and conniving they can be, how sometimes high maintenance they can be, and finally how judgmental they can be to other girls. (5899)

#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex? The one thing that I think that is most misunderstood is that men are all just about sex. Though it does play a major role in our short term thinking many times I think our attention to personality traits is many times overlooked. To me sex does not have the same enjoyment without some sort of compatibility. Don’t get me wrong sex itself is always on our priority list I just think we pay more attention to personality than we are given credit to. 4247

The one think that women most misunderstand about men is that all we care about is sex. A man’s aim is not always sex, sure there are men at this age who enjoy have that goal, but men for the most part care about the women that they meet and want to foster a relationship out of it. (0943)

One thing that I think the opposite sex misunderstands about my own sex is our need for freedom. I feel that when a guy says that he wants some freedom of his own to a girl; females seem to take it too personally. A guy might was freedom just to be with his friends or just to be by himself but women generally take it as they don’t want to be with them, or that they want to be with other people. (4442)

3. I think there is an established expectation of men to be thoughtless and shallow, but a large portion of males seem to debunk that.(9701)

3. The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image. (7753)

3. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent. I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)

3. The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple. (6163)

3. Women think guys just care about sex. It may be true in some guys, but not all. And Ironically if a guy isn’t crazy about sex they feel as though the male isn’t interested in them or something is wrong with him. (4073)

3.) I believe that most women tend have preconceived notions in regards to men's (in)ability to communicate their emotions. Although it may seem like most men don't want to talk about their feelings, many do- just not to women. It tends to be much easier to tell a same sex friends personal problems and fears, and some women don't understand that. (7098)

3) I think the one thing girls have the biggest issue with us is our lack of emotion. Guys can get into fights and will be best friends soon after. Girls would obviously find this so baffling due to being the complete opposite of being emotionless. Girls fight and they remember it forever. And forever is an understatement. There is no forgiving with girls they will always hold a grudge against the other girl and it will remain at the back of their head for as long as they both exist. Because of this is what I think of as the reason for girls and their cliques. They seem to be very territorial and stick to a certain “wolf pack” because of the sole reason of staying away from their certain enemies. Girls are fierce and sometimes scary when it comes to girls they can never forgive. (5899)

#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.? Women I’m typically have a sense of self confidence. Confidence can be one of the most attracting things to me, and insecurity can be one of the biggest turnoffs. Of course physical features are going to initially draw my attention to the opposite sex. I’ve found that physical features that I would want to pass on to my kids tend to be the features that I am most attracted to. Good genetics will always play a role consciously or subconsciously. And finally I think anyone who shows any signs of interest in you will automatically draw you to them even for just a second to analyze the situation. 4247

4. Some of the traits that attract me to a person off the bat are more physical ques. The things I tend to look at as far as attraction goes are females’ eyes, hair, and nose, as well as their breast and butt. But as I get to know a girl then personality and intelligence come into play and this determines whether or not I would consider dating them or not. (5433)

4. The characteristics that tend to attract me to women are their physical appearance at first. That is the first thing that you see with any person that you meet you do not know about their personality, family, or anything else. Once you get to meet them then their personality, self-confidence, and everything else about them either makes them more attractive or less attractive but looks are the first thin and the personality keeps you around. (0943)

Characteristics of a certain woman who I was attracted to consisted in a few different factors. Not only did I like this person’s physical appearance, I liked how they carried themselves as well. Aside from their physical attributes, which I sure most men are attracted to, I like how this individual carried themselves and their ambition. She knew what she wanted and how she was going to get it which really attracted me to her. Not only that, but I also liked her style and how kind she was to everyone around her. (4442)

4. I think it usually starts with physical characteristics, but I know that once I get to know a person even my perception of their physical appearance changes in such an profound way that most “hot annoying” girls drop the first adjective in their description pretty quickly. The most important factor that attracts me to a girl is self-confidence and a sense of humor, especially if the two are not mutually exclusive, that is to say if a girl can make fun of herself I’m interested. (9701)

4. The first thing I notice about a woman that attracts me to her is a pretty face followed by a nice body. I love women with pretty faces. After finding them physically attractive, I start to pay attention to them and notice traits about their personality that I like. I find it attractive when a woman is socially comfortable and can be herself. When they begin to understand me and my humor and I find them genuine and down to earth, then I become really attracted to them. (7753)

4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand. (0645)

4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)

4. I have to be attracted to a girl to be interested in her. But she doesn’t have to be beautiful or gorgeous, just interesting. I know plenty of good looking girls who I’m repulsed by their behavior, beliefs, and lifestyles. I would take a cute girl with a great personality over an extremely attractive woman with a shitty personality. So on top of her physical attractiveness she has to be confident, intelligent, easy going, and have similar goals and ideals. (4073)

4.) In regards to attraction to a member of the opposite sex, I believe that it always first stems from physical appearance. After physical appearance, appreciation of the more subtle aspects can begin to occur- primarily personality traits. There has never been an instance where I felt attracted to a member of the opposite sex based solely on social status. As far as personality traits, I think being candid and genuine go a long way. (7098)

4) Looking back I find that there are a few general traits that I try to find in girls. The girl has to be laid-back but at the same time extremely active. I really don’t enjoy high maintenance girls who always care about their body and what they look like. Obviously I care a little about what they look like but no matter what it always comes down to how they react away from everyone. She has to be confident, because if she’s not confident then conversations are always just me talking things would just be way too boring for me.(5899)

#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

5. Some strengths of women would be that they are easier to talk to, and they physically beautiful. Some weaknesses would be that they like to over analyze everything and they always in some sort of drama.(9792) The strengths of women are that they are neat, in order, hard working, and understanding. Their weaknesses are that they can be insecure, unobtainable expectations, and hyperemotional. 4247

Some strengths women have would be that they notice the little details that men seem to overlook and they are also more insightful when talking about relationships. Some weaknesses of women would be the fact that they have a tendency to be insecure for no apparent reason and they seem to love drama (0943)

In my opinion some of the weaknesses of the opposite sex is that they care too much. I feel that men, if they need to be can be have a very cutthroat mentality. However, I feel that women sometimes take into account peoples feelings too much. Also, I feel that another weakness is that men are always looking at women as objects and although it’s not their fault, I feel that this is a weakness. In my opinion some of the strengths of women are they have better communication skills than men. I feel that when women want to get their point across it comes out much clearer than a male’s opinion does. I also feel that one of the weaknesses of women can also be one of their strengths. The fact that women sometimes care too much can be a strength for them as well. Sometimes I feel that men don’t care enough. (4442)

5. Females are more organized, are less likely to make a decision without first analyzing it, and are always the one’s being sought after. Weaknesses include over analysis, often conniving and self destructive, and less physical strength.(9701)

5. The strengths of women include the ability to understand and read body language better than men, the ability to express emotions easily and frequently, and the ability to look incredibly physically and sexually attractive all the time. Their weaknesses include failure to understand commit issues with men, having trust issues, and being easily influenced by other female friends. They are also weak in initiating the steps to developing relationships and social interactions (breaking the ice / making the first move) and expressing what they truly mean (communicate in hints or speak irrationally when emotional). (7753)

5. Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not neccesary. For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them. (0645)

5. Females are very good at being nurturing and compassionate, in general. Despite being emotional at times when big emotionally hard times come up they can be very strong and keep their composure well especially in front of others. Weaknesses would be their need to be complimented and reassured of their physical and personal characteristics constantly. Their unstable emotional extremes are also a weakness, they seem to run very hot and cold. (6163)

5. Their strengths are their ability to be empathetic, give an alternative perspective, and ability to communicate once in a relationship. Their weaknesses are their constant need for validation of their qualities and over analyzing of things. I would say they can be a bit too emotional. (4073)

5.) I believe one of the major strengths the opposite sex has is in regards to their ability to communicate with one another. Their ability to confide in members of the same sex is unparallelled when compared to men. That being mentioned, women are quick to withhold feelings and thoughts when a confrontation occurs, which tends to lead to passive aggressive actions. (7098)

5) Strengths include compassion, cleanliness, and always being organized. While their main weakness is their emotional instability. (5899)

#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

6. There has been an instance or two where a female had been treated poorly by males most of her life and because of that treated me as though I was going to be the same way. (5433) An example of being treated unfairly in my opinion is when I’m expected to pay for drinks and what not at a bar when all I’m looking for is an opportunity to get to know the person. It’d be like paying for the car just to test drive it. 4247

There have been times when women have treated me unfairly. When I broke up with my most recent girlfriend the only reason she could give was, “It doesn’t feel like it used to.” What the hell does that even mean? It would be very helpful, especially in breakups, if women would just tell men what was on their mind and give a legitimate reason rather than some abstract thought that makes absolutely sense (0943)

One instance where I have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex was a few years ago. I was going to dinner with a few of my friends who were girls and I was running a little late. So since I was running late I told the girls to order for me and said I had wanted a steak or a hamburger, basically something with meat. However, when I arrived at dinner I found only a salad in front of where I was sitting and that was my dinner. (4442)

6. Chivalry seems to be an unfair treatment of men. Women want equal opportunity, but don’t want to pay for dinner.(9701)

6. My second year in college, I met a girl who shared a mutual attraction with me. For a long time she had been telling me how much she liked me and how bad she wanted me. I took her home one night and we started hooking up. Out of nowhere, she stopped me and said “We are not having sex tonight. What kind of girl do you think I am!?” I think that she had treated me unfairly because I honestly had no expectations of her and I had always treated her with respect. It was wrong for her to assumptions about my intentions and ruin our night. I was never aggressive nor did I force her to do anything she did not want to. Maybe she was testing to see if I was man enough to come up with a positive response. Either way, I think it was an unfair action and statement for her to make towards me. (7753)

6. During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to comiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)

6. For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend. (6163)

6. I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)

6.) There was an instance in which a member of the opposite sex believed I had treated them unfairly in regards to a relationship. I had been extremely vocal about my (rather low) expectations in said instance, but nonetheless a conflict occurred. This member of the opposite sex was unhappy with my stance, and in turn told many of her friends hateful and untrue things- essentially tarnishing my reputation. (7098)

6) Rarely do I find myself in situations where I have ever truly hated a girl but there have been those few situations that stick in my mind. A time when I felt as though I thought I was being treated unfairly by a girl ­was once when a girl assumed I was going to be overly a gentleman and let her cut me in line when I had been waiting for ages to get to the front. That is the one time I wanted to ever call a girl a “bitch”. (5899)

#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

7. Just in flirting situations. (5433)

I think I’ve been treated well by women on a consistent basis because I try to level with them and understand their point of view as best as possible. My ex-girlfriend always gave me the benefit of the doubt in many situations and always was willing to split thing financially. 4247

The only instance that I can think of when women have treated me well just because of my sex would be at a bar or setting of that nature. Women are always kind in these situations possibly because men will usually buy them a drink or two but it really has nothing to do with the man in particular but rather what he has (0943)

One instance where I have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex was when I was having an extremely bad day last year. I was feeling very flustered and frustrated because everything was going wrong that day. I told my male friend about it and he just said sorry and hoped it would get better. However, when I told one of my female friends about my troubles they gave me a hug and it actually seemed that they really did feel sorry for me. It made me feel good that she cared for me and I feel that it was because of her gender that she actually felt for me. (4442)

7. Girls are especially nurturing, and sometimes those qualities show. As an example, I had a really hectic couple of weeks and doing my own laundry was not on the top of my list, so one of my friends decided she’d do it for me. (9701)

7. I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy. (7753)

7. Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can. (0645)

7. At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality. (6163)

7. I can think of many instances were I’ve been treated nicely by the opposite sex just because of my gender. Its usually for lifting things or fixing things. (4073)

7.) I was treated exceptionally well because of my gender when I attended a self help group for the drug dependency of a loved one. Because I was one of the only men there, the women were much more accepting and supportive of what I had to said. (7098)

7) Usually girls would treat me well whenever I treat them to dinner or am the one who is providing them with anything else. Guys are typically supposed to be the ones who pay and take care of girls as part of just our mannerism. (5899)

#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

8. There was this girl in junior high that I was really attracted to and we had developed a good relationship talking over AIM. It was more my fear of being rejected that really kept her from actually rejecting me, but she really didn’t give me the time of day when we weren’t alone talking online/or in person when a certain group of her friends were around. I think it was kind of rude that she would talk to me sometimes and not others. She also asked for my friends number and they went out for a little while. (5433) I’ve been rejected in a few ways in my life but never in a way that was too inconsiderate. It has either been a very honest way of telling me or subtly ignoring me till I get the point. This sounds inconsiderate but by the time I’ve gotten the point I’ve already realized that it was a waste of time in the first place and moved on so there are no hard feelings.4247

There have been instances when I found someone to be attractive and I ended up getting rejected. The most common way that women seem to reject men that they are not attracted to is by simply ignoring them and not talking. Depending on how long you have been acquainted they will just stop answering phone calls or returning text messages. If you just met them that night they usually tend to just leave the situation. I do not find this behavior to be rude or insensitive because it’s the easiest way of getting the point across that they just are not feeling it. It would be easier to know for sure if women would just simply tell you that they were not interested for whatever reason true or false would prevent any confusion which would help all parties involved. (0943)

An instance that comes to mind when I was rejected by someone of the opposite sex was in middle school. I really liked this girl and I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. However, she responded by saying that they didn’t want to ruin our friendship and that if would be better if we just remained friends. However, the fact that she rejected me practically ruined our friendship anyway because it was completely awkward every time I talked to her after that. Their behavior was not rude or insensitive but and they did it in a considerate way but it still made me feel bad. (4442)

8. The most vivid memory I have of being rejected was at a high school party full of people I didn’t know and would probably never see again. There was a mildly attractive female at the other end of the party (as there always seems to be) and I approached her. I said something I thought would make her laugh and introduced myself, and her only response was a quick glance at her friend and she walked away. This seems to be a common story, it could have been a lot worse, or she could have said something. There isn’t really a considerate way to reject someone. (9701)

8. I had class with a girl that I was really attracted to. We always sat next to each other and worked as together as partners on assignments together. From previous experience, when ever I was attracted to someone, it was usually mutual. I waited until the semester was over to confess my feelings towards this girl. She told me that I was a really nice guy but that she was not interested. I was not that upset but mostly surprised that I was rejected. The girl was really nice about it and I did not find it rude or inconsiderate. I just wish she had given me an explanation of why she did not like me. (7753)

8. In one instance of rejection, my 8th grade girlfriend broke up with me when I called her to plan a date. Although she was not particularly rude, I was rather hurt that she chose to do it when I had called her. However, she did not seem spiteful, but more matter-of-fact about it and a bit apologetic. I suppose in the long-run it was good of her to just be honest, instead of waiting for our date to break the news to me, but at the same time, she could have been more proactive with contacting me about the issue, rather than waiting for me to walk into it. (0645)

8. I was rejected when I approached a girl in high school to go out sometime and she was really rude about it just blowing me off and acting as though I had wasted her precious time just by asking. It pissed me off and she ended up apologizing later on for how she behaved and explained she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she was with all her friends when I asked but after this I probably went about things the wrong way by telling her it was ok I know why her boyfriend broke up with her and thanked her from saving me my time. She could have done it in a better way by saying she wasn’t ready to start going out with anyone yet but maybe we could hang out at a party sometime or something. (6163)

8. There have been times where I’ve been rejected respectfully and there have been times where I’ve been rejected in a rude manner. The respectful way was able to salvage something and have a great friendship. The disrespectful way lead to no friendship at all. The respectful way was just being upfront about not being interested. (4073)

8.) The most recent instance when I was rejected was actually not rather uneventful. Rejection from the opposite sex does not generally hurt my self esteem, and this instance was not much different. I was spending time with a particular girl who seemed interested in me as well, but rather unexpectedly changed her mind after a bit. She wasn't rude or insensitive by any means, but rather more aloof than anything. I tend to think this is the most common route women take when they are uninterested. (7098)

8) First memory that comes to mind was a time in middle school. I remember it was the most confusing rejection ever. It all started a week before I had asked her to go out one night. Throughout the whole week I had rock solid evidence that she was into me. So it took me till about the week after for me to whip up the courage to ask her out on a date. I remember I heard she was walking towards lunch at the cafeteria so I attempted to catch up to her. When I did I remember no matter where I asked her it would be in front a group of people due to the business of lunchtime. So I just went balls to the wall and stopped her the second I saw her. The words slipped out of my mouth as I began to immediately see a sympathetic face on her, and I knew what was coming. She shook her head no and began explaining how it would be best if we would just be friends. She turned around and flipped her hair. I stood there in awe and to this day this has been one of the most crystal clear and confusing memory I have with a girl. (5899)

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

9. Wait for the right moment and initiate the first kiss as quickly as possible. Timing is everything with respect to how a girl comes to see you. If you end up in the friend category, it is often very hard to get out. The key to this is speed. You want to initiate physical contact before the girl even has an opportunity to consider you a friend. As soon as the moment presents itself you must seize it. (5792)

If I was on a date and wanted to get physically intimate I would usually wait for the right moment. The problem is I don’t typically know when the right moment is and would probably miss it because I am so poor at reading the opposite sex. But once I do have the physically engaged I am good at reading their body language so see how far they want to go and wouldn’t try to pressure them to go further than they wanted to , especially if this was our first physical contact.4247

If I was on a date and wanted to get physically intimate I just play the date by ear but take simple steps from the start of the date. Usually simple tasks such as opening the door and things of chivalry are a good base. Possibly hold hands at some point of the date to show that I am interested in more than being friends. Once you do that it’s just a waiting game for the moment to get that first kiss in and then just let things go from there. Once you have done that you have put the ball in the woman’s court and let them call the shots sexually from there on out. (0943)

I would influence this person to become physically intimate and go as far sexually as I wanted to go by talking with her. I wouldn’t try any moves or anything like that because it might not be what she wanted. I feel it is easy to talk to women about intimacy and that they would be understanding and appreciate it if more men did talk to them before trying anything. (4442)

9. I feel like it is a case by case situation, but more often than not if you make a girl laugh, then say something in her ear, then run your hand across her back and walk away—and the date has been going well—she’ll follow you, and if she does, showing some confidence and kissing her usually works well. (9701)

9. First of all, I would never let our relationship carry on for so long without any physical intimacy. The longer it carries on like this, the more awkward it gets and the harder it becomes to initiate physical intimacy. But in this particular instance, I would look deep into her eyes and straight up ask her if she wants to kiss me if she looks like she does. Otherwise, I would just go ahead and initiate any form touching like hand holding or putting my arm around her casually or something not too forward that would scare her off. On a previous date, I told a girl that I wasn’t going to ever make the first move so she didn’t have to worry about me doing so. She immediately went for it and kissed me! (7753)

9. I would probably find excuses to have physical contact with the girl, such as putting my arm around her shoulder, or holding her hand, etc. Her responsiveness to this would help me gauge how interested she is physically. Also, I might try to direct the conversation towards a more sexual topic, possibly with light jokes about sex. (0645)

9. Go out to dinner then to a movie and get close and make some kind of physical contact during the movie (e.g. hold hands, arm around her, hand on her leg, etc.) Upon leaving the movie theatre walk to the car, open the door for her but before she gets in kiss her and see where the night goes from there. (6163)

9. I would probably try to sit close and then read her body language. I’d start by either putting my arm around here or holding her hand. If she responds positively then I’d contemplate taking it further. I would let her dictate how far she would want it to go. (4073)

9.) As a male, I feel that it is up to me to make physical intimacy occur. I (always) first gauge body language and evaluate how well the date has been going before i'd determine to move in (physically). That being said, I would try to engage in something not too intimate or uncomfortable to test if physical intimacy is appropriate (for example touching on the arm or hand). Based on this reaction I would then determine if I would lean in to kiss them. From that point forward it's based on their reaction as to how much intimacy progresses. (7098)

9) First of all I would woo the girl with my silly and comedic side at dinner. Then I would try to get dinner over with as quickly as possible and ask her if she would like to see a movie back at my place. Usually I wouldn’t take two months to make things happen, but in this situation if I have been waiting this long if I think the date would have been going that well I might as well just go for it. Once we would be outside I would hold her hand. When back at my place I would try and cuddle during the movie, and then continue to go for the kiss. If two people are dating and have to wait 2 months to do anything then something’s wrong, unless there is some religious excuse. (5899)

#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

10. Even if you feel unsure it still might be worth trying out. However, if you are convinced you don’t want to become sexual with this girl at that time, you can transition the date to a more public affair such as hanging out with one other guy, maybe even your brother or sister, the object being to make the girl feel as socially awkward as possible. Then she for sure will not initiate physical contact. You could also tell her “I’m just not that into you.” (5792).

I would avoid becoming sexual with this person by sending them subtle signs. Hopefully they get through to them. If this didn’t work I’d probably make something up or just try to get out of there in a crowded area so they wouldn’t feel comfortable making a move. I also probably wouldn’t go on a date with someone that I wasn’t a little physically attracted to. 4247

The easiest way to get around becoming sexual with a person that you are not interested in and do not want it to happen you just cannot make any moves that would show her that you are interested. I was raised to pay for the check and other chivalrous things of that nature but to avoid a sexual situation you do not want ask her to split the check with you and do not bring her back to your house or go to hers to hang out after the date because that shows you are interested and want something more. (0943)

I would influence this person to avoid becoming sexual also by talking with them. I would tell them how I felt and if they actually did like me them they would respect my opinion. However, if that didn’t work, I might try what one girl did to me in question eight. I might tell them that I wouldn’t want to do anything physically because I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Although they might feel bad a white lie is better than hurting someone’s feelings. (4442)

10. The easiest way to not become physically involved with someone is to stop interacting with him or her completely, but as this is not always the case, keeping a safe distance will do the trick. (9701)

10. This actually happened to me a few months ago. I invited a girl to come to a club with me. We were dancing and she was totally into me all night. Everything was in my favor and she kept telling me stuff like “Oh my god you are so hot, I don’t know what to do about you.” I could tell that she wanted me to make a move on her and we came really close to kissing, but I was not that physically attracted to her. I almost told her that I was gay to get her to back off a little. However, I just kept my distance and never made any moves. Nothing happened that not. I think she was really disappointed and we haven’t spoken since. (7753)

10. I would be sure to keep my interaction with her kind and interested, but not overly engaging or intimate. In other words, I would do my best not to give her a false green light to be come physical with me. I would keep the conversation away from sex, romance, or intimacy at all costs, and I would avoid any unneccesary physical contact. If contact did occur or she made a move on me, I would find a polite way to excuse myself, or simply be honest with her that I am not physically interested if I cannot get out of the situation with another reason. (0645)

10. Start acting like you were hanging out with an old friend making dumb jokes and treating her like one of the guys. Worse comes to worse bring up problems about another girl and throw out the whole “it’s nice to have a FRIEND to talk to” line. (6163)

10. I would talk about things very blatantly to insure she doesn’t make the move. I would mention maybe someone else I’m seeing even if I’m not seeing anyone. (4073)

10.) I would tell this member of the opposite sex exactly what this question states; that I'm not interested in physical intimacy, rather friendship. I have found that being clear from the beginning usually enables the avoidance of uncomfortable situations like this. (7098)

10) In these kinds of situations where I try to avoid a girl I would typically act almost fake to make things appear as if they are going fine. Then once check comes I would give the “friends” speech in which I would explain things really would be better if we were friends and I wouldn’t want to mess that up. (5899)


For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when... 11. …you show interest in another girl. (5792)

I pay more attention to an equal or better looking girl. 4247

A boyfriend or somebody that they are interested in is talking to another girl that they see as competition. (0943)

One talks to other girls. (4442)

11. I hang out with girls in one on one situations, especially if the girl who may become insanely jealous does not have the option to hang out due to distance or time commitments. (9701)

11. …they recognize another woman’s attraction towards someone they like. (7753)

11. they feel ignored (0645)

11. a guy is friends with a girl she doesn’t get along with or has bad history with. (6163)

11. You make friends who are girls. (4073)

11.) when I notice another girl. (7098)

11) They catch me talking to any other girl or see me inviting more girls to a party. (5899)

#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

12. ...is more likely to initiate it between us. I like to take things slow and see how comfortable the girl is with things before i try anything. once I get a sense that the girl wants to take things further then i will take it further, but only as far as she is willing to go.(9792)

Usually knows what they’re going to and not going to do.4247

Never seems to be the one to make the first move and put all the pressure on us to take the chance to embarrass ourselves (0943)

Has it easy in that they wait for the guys to make the first move. (4442)

12. Has proven to be less timid than I originally anticipated. (9701)

12. …is either immediately into it or goes with the flow after a little coaxing and persistence. (7753)

12. can be insanely stubborn about waiting for men to make the first move, or surprisingly aggressive at taking the reins. (0645)

12.gives mixed signs a lot of times and expects a guy to make the right move. (6163)

12. Rarely does it. (4073)

12.) wants security. (7098)

12) Usually are reserved and scared to make the first move. (5899)

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

13. ...what guys talk about. I feel that girls have this conception that all guys talk really bad towards women and just put them down all the time when they are not around. This is very untrue.(9792) Men’s competitive drive 4247

Men in general (0943)

Guys spending time with their friends. (4442)

13. The overall simplicity of guys. (9701)

13. …distinguishing and choosing the genuinely nice guys from the assholes/players. (7753)

13. spotting gay men (0645)

13.When a guy wants to be left alone he really doesn’t want to be around people, he isn’t using code talk like a female. (6163)

13. Being direct with people. (4073)

13.) men's personal space. (7098)

13) Why we just don’t care about things that much. (5899)

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

14. ...is great at. I think I could definitely work a little more at being romantic.(9792)

Wishes guys were more.4247

Lives for (0943)

Likes more than males. (4442)

14. Has obscene expectations of. (9701)

14. …acts as if it is important. (7753)

14. was born to do. (0645)

14.Emphasizes to much. (6163)

14. Loves to do (4073)

14.) knows more about then men. (7098)

14) Wishes we would be more often, and something they fall for hence why they love “chick flicks” so much. (5899)

#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

15. ...monitoring how many times we call them and or how long of a time we spend with them.(9792)

Doing questionable things that could illicit a response.4247

Intentionally putting boyfriend in situations that show them how much they love them. Whether by asking the dreaded question “Do you know what today is?” or taking you somewhere there are beautiful women all over the place and see if they look at other women (0943)

Asking them questions they already know the answer to. (4442)

15. Asking questions that don’t have a right answer. (9701)

15. …making them choose between them or their friends. (7753)

15. picking fights, mentioning taboo subjects and watching our reactions, taking us to meet the parents, asking us what we think about children, pretending they are pregnant, leaving a room messy or trash out to see if we'll clean it up... (0645)

15. Expecting to be number one priority over everything even when they really know its not realistic. (6163)

15. Asking questions and playing games (4073)

15.) seeing how the react in situations where they are given freedom to do what they want. (7098)

15) Messing with us psychologically. Girls always put a guy through the emotional test by always seeing if the guy will comfort the girl whenever something is wrong. (5899)

#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

16. ...being polite. I feel that a lot of girls expect guys to open the door for them or pay for them when they go out. Maybe not as much anymore, but I do feel a girl will judge a guy if he asks her to pay for some of the dinner or doesn't open the door for her.(9792)

Paying for drinks 4247

Them having to pay, doing manual labor, and making the first move (0943)

Paying for dinner. (4442)

16. Being pampered. (9701)

16. …chivalry such as expecting men to pay for dinner and give them the whole princess treatment. (7753)

16. asking men out on dates, being treated to food/outings constantly. (0645)

16.Chivalry. (6163)

16. Paying the bill or making the move. (4073)

16.) physical exertion. (7098)

16) Sports. (5899)

#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

17. ...sometimes is too much of.(9792)

Is excessively2427

Absolutely loves because they can show off their new boyfriend to all of their friends (0943)

Is way too serious about. (4442)

17. Seems to express (9701)

17. …can not over or even fake. (7753)

17. can get a little too intense about sometimes. (0645)

17. Shows in relationships. (6163)

17. Sometimes has, depending on the person. (4073)

17.) does not understand. (7098)

17) Usually hates when the guy does and it guys hate it when the girl does it. Being clingy is just trouble. (5899)

#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

18. ...is more physically attractive.(9792)

The best 2427

Takes the cake for sure but spend far too much time obsessing over it (0943)

Has to spend much more time on their looks. (4442)

18. Has got it going on (9701)

18. …is incredibly stimulating and thought provoking. (7753)

18. is objectively way more asthetically pleasing to the eye than men are. (0645)

18. Holds it important for themselves to look good but when a guy wants a girl to look good she thinks he’s being shallow (6163)

18. Superior (4073)

18.) tends to take other factors into account (income, status, etc...). (7098)

18) Can use it to their advantage while not so much for guys. (5899)

#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

19. ...care about.(9792)

Wrongfully hold as a priority 2427

Looks for in a guy because all girls are looking for Mr. Right all the time and those things are nice when married (0943)

Care too much about. (4442)

19. Often search for (9701)

19. …are influenced by whether they realize it or not. (7753)

19. react differently to. Some women are validated by their ability to buy things and influence others. Some are extremely down-to-earth. (0645)

19.Want in their future. (6163)

19. Are attracted to (4073)

19.) considers when thinking about entering a relationships. (7098)

19) Stereotypically love because it adds more incentive. It helps when the girl knows they will be financially supported and won’t have to work a job. (5899)

#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

20. …when I see them being unfaithful to their partners. (5433)

Plays one guy against the other 2427

Is the fact many of women, for no apparent reason, will complain about their looks when they are gorgeous (0943)

Cries in front of me. (4442)

shows insecurities (9701)

20. …acts towards me in a negative way because of prior experiences with guys that treated them poorly or because of untrue assumptions that they have about me. (7753)

20. Is hypocritical about what they think about me. (0645)

20.Doesn’t trust me to be honest.

20. Disrespect themselves by being promiscuous. (4073)

20.) labels me with a stereotype for a particular actions. (7098)

20) Give way too much sass, or attitude, it’s annoying to deal with. (5899)

#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...

21. …they are in a good mood and are being themselves. (5433)

I can get a decent read on them 2427

They are who they really are and not someone else to impress the people they are around or I (0943)

I make them laugh. (4442)

21. They are not angry, or at least angry for reasons I understand. (9701)

21. …I find out that they are really into me or that our attraction is mutual. (7753)

21. They use their charm and talent for care and consideration. (0645)

21. They go out of their way to support something that I am taking part in. (6163)

21. Do things that I cannot. (4073)

21.) socially constructed stereotypes are dropped, and we can both be who we are. (7098)

21) They’re just always down to party....(5899)